Daily Mail-o-matic

[saintdane05]

HAVE PAEDOPHILES STOLEN FROM BRITAIN'S SWANS?

ARE THE POLES KILLING THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

IS TWITTER MAKING PROPERTY PRICES IMPOTENT?

HAS THE MMR JAB SCROUNGED OFF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?

WILL THE POLES HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

COULD FERAL CHILDREN INFECT COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY WITH AIDS?



God I love this thing.

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

WILL TEENAGE SEX RIP OFF THE ROYAL FAMILY?

HAVE PAEDOPHILES IMPREGNATED YOUR HOUSE?

ARE MUSLIMS RUINING BRITAIN'S SWANS?

ARE GAYS TAXING YOUR PETS?

COULD CANCER HURT DRIVERS?

COULD THE METRIC SYSTEM BURGLE YOU?

WILL CYCLISTS MOLEST MIDDLE BRITAIN?

WILL HOODIES HAVE SEX WITH YOUR PETS?

Oh goodness! I can't...I can't...stop! XD

 

[Evil Smurf]

IS YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL INFECTING MIDDLE BRITAIN WITH AIDS?
I hope not.

WILL FILTH ON TELEVISION HAVE SEX WITH BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?
Yes.

 

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

Has cancer killed the royal family?
COULD MUSLIMS TAX TAXPAYERS' MONEY?
COULD THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT KILL THE MIDDLE CLASS?
ARE GAYS HURTING THE QUEEN?
IS BINGE DRINKING INFECTING THE MIDDLE CLASS WITH AIDS?
The is fantastic!

 

[Flaery]

HAVE PAEDOPHILES SCROUNGED OFF THE CHURCH?

I want to make a Catholic joke but I'm afraid that it might upset my God.

EDIT: Okay, one more.

HAS CANCER GIVEN CLIFF RICHARD CANCER?

 

[CrazT]

COULD CHAVS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR MORTGAGE?
....huh?!

HAVE FERAL CHILDREN SCROUNGED OFF YOUR CHILDREN?
I'm guessing probably not

IS THE METRIC SYSTEM MAKING THE MEMORY OF DIANA OBESE?
....not sure if programme glitch, or genuine result

HAS THE MMR JAB GIVEN THE MEMORY OF DIANA CANCER?
Yeah, probably lol

ARE GAYS TURNING THE CHURCH GAY?
Oh wow, this is going to keep me occupied for hours XD

 

[Aesir23]

IS FEMINISM MAKING MIDDLE BRITAIN IMPOTENT?

ARE LESBIANS DESTROYING YOUR CHILDREN?

HAVE SINGLE MOTHERS DEVALUED YOUR HOUSE?

COULD HEALTH & SAFETY SCROUNGE OFF YOUR MORTGAGE?

I love this thing.

Edit:\\ I couldn't resist, this one is brilliant.

ARE GYPSIES MAKING YOUR DAUGHTERS IMPOTENT?

 

[Nickolai77]

This is bloody brilliant!

COULD THE EURO GIVE THE QUEEN CANCER?

HAS THE LABOUR PARTY MADE YOUR CHILDREN OBESE?

IS THE NANNY STATE IMPREGNATING THE CHURCH?

IS THE INTERNET GIVING BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY SWINE FLU?

HAVE BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS GIVEN YOUR CHILDREN CANCER?

 

[Subscriptism]

COULD ASYLUM SEEKERS INFECT THE ROYAL FAMILY WITH AIDS?

I love this button.

 

[King of Asgaard]

Couldn't pick one, so here's some of the best. That site's amazing by the way.

• COULD THE LABOUR PARTY DEFRAUD YOUR DAUGHTERS?
  
  HAS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GIVEN THE MIDDLE CLASS DIABETES?
  
  WILL POLITICAL CORRECTNESS HAVE SEX WITH CLIFF RICHARD?
  
  ARE THE GERMANS HAVING SEX WITH BRITISH JUSTICE?
  
  HAVE CHAVS GIVEN BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
  
  HAS CANCER GIVEN YOUR DAUGHTERS CANCER?

Those last two cracked me up.

 

[unindexedsearchengine]

COULD FEMINISM INFECT THE MIDDLE-CLASS WITH AIDS?

IS TEENAGE SEX IMPREGNATING BRITAIN'S SWANS?

this is absolutely glorious

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

Have lesbians stolen the identity of Britain's farmers!
I don't know... Have they?

Are muslims infecting the conservative party with aids?
Wow, that's... really racist.

Could feral children burgle your pets?
Probably D:

Is Facebook stealing from you?
I'm pretty sure i've read this article already

Could your local council impregnate Britain's swans?
I don't think so. Cross-species genetics or whatever it's called...


Man, this thing just keeps on giving xD

 

[MrTwo]

IS THE BBC MOLESTING YOU?

Just because it sounds like a real headline.

No, by the way.

COULD FEMINISM TURN YOUR PETS GAY?
Yes, my English-speaking pets will be turned off by the fiery feminist movement's strong willed members.

I would also suggest the David Blunkett Policy Maker.
http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/blunkett/

I'm not British, and don't even know who this guy is, but it's still funny as hell. Seriously, this guy has the best policies.

"Give everybody an on-the-spot fine, and then give them a 'Citizenship Test'"

Genius.

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

It's tragic when the Daily Mail used to make daring moves like this.

Spoiler

Now this is more accurate.

Spoiler

 

[E3137]

"WILL THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH TURN THE QUEEN GAY?"
"WILL THE P.C. BRIGADE INFECT MIDDLE BRITAIN WITH AIDS?
Terrific, absolutely terrific!

 

[Kmadden2004]

HAS THE EURO TURNED CLIFF RICHARD GAY?

WILL HOODIES MAKE YOUR MORTGAGE OBESE?

ARE BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS HAVING SEX WITH HOUSE PRICES?

COULD THE INTERNET KILL THE QUEEN?

Dammit, that's my Saturday written off...

 

[Spaghetti]

COULD THE BBC IMPREGNATE YOUR HOUSE?

COULD TWITTER HURT BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?

WILL BINGE DRINKING TURN THE BRITISH PEOPLE GAY?

COULD THE LOONY LEFT DESTROY THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?

WILL IMMIGRANTS KILL YOUR PETS?

Actually those last two might be real...

 

[Zoe Castillo]

WILL MUSLIMS GIVE YOUR DAUGHTERS DIABETES?

WILL CANCER STEAL FROM CLIFF RICHARD?

HAS TEENAGE SEX GIVEN YOUR DAUGHTERS CANCER?

ARE THE GERMANS MOLESTING TAXPAYERS' MONEY?

ARE BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS DEFRAUDING BRITAIN'S SWANS?

?? yes ?yes it has/will

 

[TAGM]

Aah, good old rando-word generators... Always a laugh.

COULD GYPSIES HAVE SEX WITH ENGLAND?
What, all of it? At this hour?

IS CANCER RUINING BRITISH JUSTICE?
It sure is! The bastard criminals keep dying before we can try them!

COULD THE POLES IMPREGNATE DRIVERS?
Probably not while they're driving.

IS FACEBOOK STEALING FROM YOU?
You mean stealing my details? ... Actually this sounds almost true.

HAS THE METRIC SYSTEM RIPPED OFF DRIVERS?
Am I paying for petrol by the mile or the kilometer?

HAVE WORKING MOTHERS MOLESTED THE ROYAL FAMILY?
Well, there was that brake in just...

WILL YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL GIVE THE MEMORY OF DIANA DIABETES?
"No, you don't understand, Diana's car was running on sugar, not petrol!"

HAVE CHAVS BURGLED THE MIDDLE CLASS?
I hear they're working on it, just as soon as they find away around locks and hedges.

COULD WORKING MOTHERS CHEAT BRITISH JUSTICE?
Maybe if they called for pity points...

HAVE THE GERMANS TURNED THE CHURCH GAY?
I dunno, Benedict seemed pretty against that...

IS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS HURTING BRITISH JUSTICE?
You sure this wasn't genuine?

HAVE FOXES STOLEN THE IDENTITY OF THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?
There's one now, in that rose bush! Get him!

IS THE INTERNET GIVING COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY SWINE FLU?
... Well...