Daily Mail-o-matic

[gewata]

WILL THE GERMANS CHEAT YOUR HOUSE?

ARE THE POLES MOLESTING YOUR HOUSE?

HAVE WORKING MOTHER IMPREGNATED YOUR MORTGAGE?

COULD FEMINISM IMPREGNATE CLIFF RICHARD?

WILL HOODIES IMPREGNATE THE ROYAL FAMILY?

IS RIP-OFF BRITAIN TURNING THE MEMORY OF DIANA GAY?

All great, but the best one has to be...

IS HEALTH AND SAFETY KILLING YOU?
I... I have no words.

 

[CriticalMiss]

HAVE CYCLISTS IMPREGNATED THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?

It would explain the Boris bikes.

 

[EscapeGoat_v1legacy]

HAS THE BBC GIVEN THE COUNTRYSIDE DIABETES?

IS THE INTERNET TURNING BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY GAY?

WILL THE FRENCH BURGLE YOUR CHILDREN

ARE FOXES KILLS TAXPAYERS?

This site is pure gold. I'm not entirely convinced these aren't actual Daily Mail headlines though

 

[The]

HAVE FOXES MADE THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY OBESE?

IS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IMPREGNATING THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

HAS TEENAGE SEX TURNED TAXPAYERS' MONEY GAY?

COULD THE METRIC SYSTEM MOLEST CLIFF RICHARD?

 

[Froggy Slayer]

HAS BRUSSELS TAXED TAXPAYERS' MONEY?

Taxing money. Truly they are getting devious.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

COULD THE GERMANS KILL YOU?

well...yes

 

[Spineyguy]

'COULD FERAL CHILDREN GIVE CLIFF RICHARD CANCER?'

HUE HUE HUE

 

[wooty]

What the hell?

COULD THE E.U. DESTROY BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?
HAVE YOBS DEVALUED THE BRITISH MORALS?

Why do I get the sensible bloody headlines?

 

[anthony87]

"COULD CHANNEL 4 HAVE SEX WITH THE CHURCH?"

I'd like to imagine that they'd give it a try.

"IS FEMINISM MOLESTING YOUR PENSION?"

Oh lord...think of the flames that'd spread around here if that was an actual thing.

 

[Patrick Buck]

WILL THE POLES INFECT COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY WITH AIDS?

CRYING. OMG. AHAHAHAHA.

 

[freaper]

WILL IMMIGRANTS TURN YOUR PETS GAY?
IS THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT INFECTING THE QUEEN WITH AIDS?
ARE FOXES INFECTING BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY WITH AIDS?
IS THE E.U. MOLESTING YOUR HOUSE?

Oh lord, this stuff is hilarious.

 

[DJjaffacake]

I would also suggest the David Blunkett Policy Maker.
http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/blunkett/

I'm not British, and don't even know who this guy is, but it's still funny as hell. Seriously, this guy has the best policies.

"Give everybody an on-the-spot fine, and then give them a 'Citizenship Test'"

Genius.

He was the Home Secretary (equivalent of the Australian Minister for Home Affairs I guess) in the early 2000s, known for his rather authoritarian attitude to civil liberties.

OT: The first one I got was: COULD CHANNEL 4 TURN YOUR PENSION GAY

COULD THE FRENCH GIVE BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY DIABETES

COULD ASYLUM SEEKERS MOLEST HOUSE PRICES

ARE THE GERMANS RUINING YOUR DAUGHTERS (Insert 'if you know what I mean' meme here)

From the Blunkett one I got: Pre-emptively convict teenagers, and then send them to an offshore processing facility. And charge them for it.

 

[TheFunPolice]

WILL THE P.C. BRIGADE TURN THE BRITISH PEOPLE GAY?

oh my god these are absolutely hysterical :'D

 

[Quazimofo]

Has cancer killed the royal family?
COULD MUSLIMS TAX TAXPAYERS' MONEY?
COULD THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT KILL THE MIDDLE CLASS?
ARE GAYS HURTING THE QUEEN?
IS BINGE DRINKING INFECTING THE MIDDLE CLASS WITH AIDS?
The is fantastic!

Funnily enough, the first and last ones are totally possible (if someone in control of the tax rates was a muslim).

HAS BINGE DRINKING HAD SEX WITH THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

I don't know, those concepts get up to some crazy stuff when they think people aren't looking.

 

[therockdemon]

WILL CANCER GIVE THE QUEEN CANCER?
COULD PAEDOPHILES GIVE THE MEMORY OF DIANA SWINE FLU?
HAVE ASYLUM SEEKERS GIVEN COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY CANCER?
IS CANCER HAVING SEX WITH HOMEOWNERS?

i think one of these will be a daily mail headline soon

 

[shrekfan246]

IS THE NANNY STATE STEALING FROM YOUR CHILDREN?

COULD TWITTER MAKE THE ROYAL FAMILY IMPOTENT?

HAS THE INTERNET GIVEN YOUR CHILDREN CANCER?

IS THE LOONY LEFT RIPPING OFF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?

ARE CHAVS SCROUNGING OFF YOUR DAUGHTERS?

Oh man, this is fantastic. I can't even because it's just so silly. We don't have the Daily Fail over here across the pond, but I've certainly heard and seen enough stories originating from it to understand where all the joking comes from.

 

[Raggedstar]

WILL THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT TURN YOUR PETS GAY?
...oh lordy.

IS THE BBC GIVING BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
I don't even...

Captcha: You rock!

Thank you. My my, captcha is being so nice today

 

[Stryc9]

WILL YOBS HAVE SEX WITH YOUR CHILDREN?

Well will they?

The question you have to ask yourself here is, "Is it pedophilia or not?".

I clicked the button a few dozen times and some of them started to look really similar and I was getting bored and then this.

IS THE METRIC SYSTEM TURNING THE MEMORY OF DIANA GAY?

Which is really funny to me for some reason, this site has something for everyone.

 

[Quala]

IS THE LABOUR PARTY GIVING YOUR PENSION CANCER?

WILL FACEBOOK GIVE YOUR MORTGAGE CANCER?

IS FACEBOOK DEFRAUDING YOUR PETS?

WILL CHAVS INFECT TAXPAYERS' MONEY WITH AIDS?

WILL TWITTER GIVE YOUR PENSION CANCER?

COULD FACEBOOK HAVE SEX WITH BRITAIN'S FARMERS?

WILL GAYS DESTROY YOUR DAUGHTERS?

HAVE CHAVS TURNED BRITAIN'S SWANS GAY?

And finally, my favorite:
IS CANCER STEALING THE IDENTITY OF YOUR PENSION?

Thanks for sharing this, by the way!

 

[Subatomic]

IS THE METRIC SYSTEM GIVING THE MEMORY OF DIANA SWINE FLU?