Dating a Transsexual

[Grey Day for Elcia]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, not really. Genitals don't define our gender, see. There are many men born without a penis, women born with no vulva, boys with no testes, women with no ovaries-hell, there was a man born with ovaries inside him that began to menstruate when he was about 20, causing massive internal bleeding.

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

 

[Luna]

Don't be worried about being shallow, everybody is anyway.

It sounds like you just want to try something new. Good luck I guess.

 

[Thaluikhain]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, it really, really isn't.

 

[Stalydan]

If you are in the UK, Move to Manchester, go to Canal Street, head to Bollocks (Brilliant night out, for the record) and wait.

Manchester has a brilliant scene.

Considering I have never tried to persue someone who is trans (And probably never will) that is all the advice I can give you. Its not that I am transphobic or anything like that, just biologically... Not interested.

Holy crap, another Manc! Hello!

OT: Just go for it. Worst situation is you feel a bit embarrassed if you get turned down.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

you are most welcome! You seem to have your head on "straight" (so to speak ), it just seems you're having trouble finding out where to find one of us. I hate to say it, but online, or a bar (suited for the lgbt community) might be your best bet. Some of us have a hard time finding someone to get serious with, as most people just want to "try it out". Do some digging, is there a LGBT community center near you? volunteer at a pride parade, or some such gathering..you never know.

I'm glad to have worked out the terms and such. At least now I won't put my foot in my mouth, lol. I think I will have to get into some online stuff, just have to be careful to make sure anyone I come across understands my reasoning for looking for a transgender girl. I think there's actually a fairly large "gay" community/area center thing an hour or two from me, but I have pretty crippling anxiety (meds are helping) and it takes a long time for me to even be able to talk to someone in my family, let alone a stranger. Online I do fine, so I think finding someone I hit it off with on the net, getting cool with them and then seeing where it goes is the thing to do. Rather than rushing down to a bar and trying to hit on people, lol.

sounds like online is your best bet for starters. and yes, online be careful, there are those of us who don't mind the straight to sex, being a fetish thing. That doesn't sound like what you want at all.

Okay. I'll aim for the more, like, "meeting people" sites, than those where people join to hook up or anything. After all, when looking for a partner, you're looking for a friend foremost ^^

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, not really. Genitals don't define our gender, see. There are many men born without a penis, women born with no vulva, boys with no testes, women with no ovaries-hell, there was a man born with ovaries inside him that began to menstruate when he was about 20, causing massive internal bleeding.

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

Well, sure, there's a lot of messed-up things in nature.

But if a man believes he is a woman, and dresses accordingly, he's still a man.

If I believe I'm an armadillo, and wear an armadillo costume, that doesn't make me an armadillo. In a dress.

But one's species is not even remotely akin to one's gender. Gender isn't even a binary term, in fact. Webster Merriam defines gender as the behavior, appearance and mindset contributed to a certain group. This means you can fit into many gender roles, not the traditional one per person. The dictionary definition of gender doesn't even mention genitals, furthermore.

Doctors and psychologists are discovering more and more about how our brain works every day. We are a complex species.

And hey, even if you don't think someone is who they wish to be and how they feel, what does it hurt to let them be that way? Wouldn't it better you ignore them and let them be happy, than tear down their perceptions and be cruel for no reason?

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

Actually, it kinda is. A few mutations, for lack of a better term, don't change that. Theres the physiological part of it but other than that, it is black and white.

One of those things where you just gotta agree to disagree, I guess.

Humans are tricky creatures, aren't we, lol.

 

[Zeckt]

I'm a transexual myself, and I do find it a little off putting you would prefer ones with a penis because the problem that stems with that is that the penis does not stop producing testosterone so alot of us are torn over whether to lose the package or not so its a little touchy and variable person per person.

It's fine you prefer a pre - op, they are definitely out there. And just to say for no apparent reason other then that there are alot of female to male transexuals, they are just alot harder to identify as they react very well to the injected testosterone.

 

[Zeckt]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, not really. Genitals don't define our gender, see. There are many men born without a penis, women born with no vulva, boys with no testes, women with no ovaries-hell, there was a man born with ovaries inside him that began to menstruate when he was about 20, causing massive internal bleeding.

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

Well, sure, there's a lot of messed-up things in nature.

But if a man believes he is a woman, and dresses accordingly, he's still a man.

If I believe I'm an armadillo, and wear an armadillo costume, that doesn't make me an armadillo. In a dress.

You are correct, if they have a penis they are indeed a man no matter how feminine they are. But once they get the operation they are women no matter what anyone else says.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

I'm a transexual myself, and I do find it a little off putting you would prefer ones with a penis because the problem that stems with that is that the penis does not stop producing testosterone so alot of us are torn over whether to lose the package or not so its a little touchy and variable person per person.

It's fine you prefer a pre - op, they are definitely out there. And just to say for no apparent reason other then that there are alot of female to male transexuals, they are just alot harder to identify as they react very well to the injected testosterone.

I have learned not to use transsexual, but rather transgender in my situation. Because you're right, a woman born into a body with something she doesn't want to have there, isn't something that's "good" to be interested in. So I am attracted to transgender women, those who may have a penis, but embrace that as part of their gender.

Just two different groups

 

[JochemHippie]

Dated a trans once.
For my feeling I just dated a girl, she just happened to have a dick.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, not really. Genitals don't define our gender, see. There are many men born without a penis, women born with no vulva, boys with no testes, women with no ovaries-hell, there was a man born with ovaries inside him that began to menstruate when he was about 20, causing massive internal bleeding.

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

Well, sure, there's a lot of messed-up things in nature.

But if a man believes he is a woman, and dresses accordingly, he's still a man.

If I believe I'm an armadillo, and wear an armadillo costume, that doesn't make me an armadillo. In a dress.

You are correct, if they have a penis they are indeed a man no matter how feminine they are. But once they get the operation they are women no matter what anyone else says.

But what of those born with neither a penis nor a vagina? What if they are in an accident and it is removed? What if they have both?

That's the problem with defining individuals by their genitals--it's simply flesh, no more important to who you are than your earlobe.

IMO.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

Dated a trans once.
For my feeling I just dated a girl, she just happened to have a dick.

That's the right way to see it if you ask me.

 

[Zeckt]

I'm a transexual myself, and I do find it a little off putting you would prefer ones with a penis because the problem that stems with that is that the penis does not stop producing testosterone so alot of us are torn over whether to lose the package or not so its a little touchy and variable person per person.

It's fine you prefer a pre - op, they are definitely out there. And just to say for no apparent reason other then that there are alot of female to male transexuals, they are just alot harder to identify as they react very well to the injected testosterone.

its the testes that produce T. and i assume you meant Estrogen as far as the injections.

I thought I clearly stated I was talking about female to male.

 

[Zeckt]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, not really. Genitals don't define our gender, see. There are many men born without a penis, women born with no vulva, boys with no testes, women with no ovaries-hell, there was a man born with ovaries inside him that began to menstruate when he was about 20, causing massive internal bleeding.

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

Well, sure, there's a lot of messed-up things in nature.

But if a man believes he is a woman, and dresses accordingly, he's still a man.

If I believe I'm an armadillo, and wear an armadillo costume, that doesn't make me an armadillo. In a dress.

You are correct, if they have a penis they are indeed a man no matter how feminine they are. But once they get the operation they are women no matter what anyone else says.

But what of those born with neither a penis nor a vagina? What if they are in an accident and it is removed? What if they have both?

That's the problem with defining individuals by their genitals--it's simply flesh, no more important to who you are than your earlobe.

IMO.

It's a BIG problem, as in people who are born hermaphrodites are "modified" at birth at the choice of the parent and very, very few are left the way they are born to pick what they really are and I think it should be a crime as in if they do pick the wrong sex they make their son / daughters life a living hell till they figure themselves out.

I am alot more familiar with it then you know, I myself being born with both yet modified to be male. It's just an issue no one wants to address even if it does ruin lives.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, not really. Genitals don't define our gender, see. There are many men born without a penis, women born with no vulva, boys with no testes, women with no ovaries-hell, there was a man born with ovaries inside him that began to menstruate when he was about 20, causing massive internal bleeding.

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

Well, sure, there's a lot of messed-up things in nature.

But if a man believes he is a woman, and dresses accordingly, he's still a man.

If I believe I'm an armadillo, and wear an armadillo costume, that doesn't make me an armadillo. In a dress.

You are correct, if they have a penis they are indeed a man no matter how feminine they are. But once they get the operation they are women no matter what anyone else says.

But what of those born with neither a penis nor a vagina? What if they are in an accident and it is removed? What if they have both?

That's the problem with defining individuals by their genitals--it's simply flesh, no more important to who you are than your earlobe.

IMO.

It's a BIG problem, as in people who are born hermaphrodites are "modified" at birth at the choice of the parent and very, very few are left the way they are born to pick what they really are and I think it should be a crime as in if they do pick the wrong sex they make their son / daughters life a living hell till they figure themselves out.

I am alot more familiar with it then you know, I myself being born with both yet modified to be male. It's just an issue no one wants to address even if it does ruin lives.

So if a man is in an accident and his genitals are removed, in your eyes he is no longer a man?

You said: "If they have a penis they are indeed a man."

 

[Zeckt]

I'm a transexual myself, and I do find it a little off putting you would prefer ones with a penis because the problem that stems with that is that the penis does not stop producing testosterone so alot of us are torn over whether to lose the package or not so its a little touchy and variable person per person.

It's fine you prefer a pre - op, they are definitely out there. And just to say for no apparent reason other then that there are alot of female to male transexuals, they are just alot harder to identify as they react very well to the injected testosterone.

I have learned not to use transsexual, but rather transgender in my situation. Because you're right, a woman born into a body with something she doesn't want to have there, isn't something that's "good" to be interested in. So I am attracted to transgender women, those who may have a penis, but embrace that as part of their gender.

Just two different groups

I think its safe to say that since it varies per transgender so wildly from person to person that there is no wrong answer, just what makes them feel better about themselves. If they want to lose or keep the penis then hey no problem whats important is their confidence.

 

[Zeckt]

You mean a bloke in a dress?

that would be a transvestite, and that's not what he's looking for.

What's the difference?

a transvestite usually dresses for kink, or a fetish, a trangendered person believes they were born in the wrong body and wants to live as their target gender (as i explained above).

Well, that's still a bloke in a dress.

Or skirt.

No, not really. Genitals don't define our gender, see. There are many men born without a penis, women born with no vulva, boys with no testes, women with no ovaries-hell, there was a man born with ovaries inside him that began to menstruate when he was about 20, causing massive internal bleeding.

It's not really black and white, male and female, penis and vagina. There's a million shades of grey.

Well, sure, there's a lot of messed-up things in nature.

But if a man believes he is a woman, and dresses accordingly, he's still a man.

If I believe I'm an armadillo, and wear an armadillo costume, that doesn't make me an armadillo. In a dress.

You are correct, if they have a penis they are indeed a man no matter how feminine they are. But once they get the operation they are women no matter what anyone else says.

But what of those born with neither a penis nor a vagina? What if they are in an accident and it is removed? What if they have both?

That's the problem with defining individuals by their genitals--it's simply flesh, no more important to who you are than your earlobe.

IMO.

It's a BIG problem, as in people who are born hermaphrodites are "modified" at birth at the choice of the parent and very, very few are left the way they are born to pick what they really are and I think it should be a crime as in if they do pick the wrong sex they make their son / daughters life a living hell till they figure themselves out.

I am alot more familiar with it then you know, I myself being born with both yet modified to be male. It's just an issue no one wants to address even if it does ruin lives.

So if a man is in an accident and his genitals are removed, in your eyes he is no longer a man?

You said: "If they have a penis they are indeed a man."

You misunderstand me. A normal guy who gets in an accident and has no inclination to ever identify as female is still a man, albeit a very unfortunate one. Your trying to pigeon hole me into saying something I don't want to say.

The point I was trying to make is that I believe a man with a penis who does not want to get rid of it yet enjoys gender bending I believe to still be a man as they had no operation done. They still deserve to be referred to female if they so please as gender confusion can be quite tormenting to the conflicting person but I really don't get how you could of confused what I said so much by bringing in someone who is not even a transexual as a point to me.

 

[Zenn3k]

I could date a trans-girl, as long as she looked like a convincing women. Her having a penis wouldn't bother me at all, in fact, it might be fun.

But I'm open like that...although I would likely never date a gay man. Being able to "hide" it under a shroud of normalcy is important to me, you can think that shallow, but it is what it is.

 

[Zeckt]

I could date a trans-girl, as long as she looked like a convincing women. Her having a penis wouldn't bother me at all, in fact, it might be fun.

But I'm open like that...although I would likely never date a gay man. Being able to "hide" it under a shroud of normalcy is important to me, you can think that shallow, but it is what it is.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your preference. A gay man and a transexual have almost nothing in common, as men of course prefer someone who looks like a woman and a gay man is just that, a man. Your not gay for being attracted to a trans because they are women but you are if your interested in gays.