Dating a Transsexual

Recommended Videos

orangeban

New member
Nov 27, 2009
1,442
0
0
Melanie McGreevey said:
orangeban said:
A Weakgeek said:
I dont understand what it means to feel like you were born the wrong gender. There isn't a way males or females are supposed to think. According to societys standards there might be, but not in reality, so how could you "be the other gender in your mind or thoughts". I mean, your thoughts may fit in with the opposite genders stereotypical way of thinking, but thats not the same thing.
It's difficult to explain gender dysphoria to someone who hasn't experienced it, it'd be like explaining pain to someone who hasn't experienced it, you really do need to feel it to understand. But I'll try.

Our brains are set to a gender (this can be anything from the conventional male and female, to both genders, gender fluid, androgynous, etc.), and in most people, the gender our brain is set to matches the sex characteristics you have been provided with. These people (the correct term is cispeople) generally don't appreciate or understand the difference between gender and sex without education about it, because they can't distinguish between them, since they match up inside them. In transpeople, the gender the brain is set to does not match the sex characteristics provided, causing the dysphoria.

Now to explain what exactly I mean when I say our brains are set to a gender. First, it's important to realise the difference between gender and expression. Having a female gender doesn't mean that you love ponies, pink, housework and other stereotypically female things. Neither does having a male gender mean you enjoy drinking beer with your bros over a sports game every Sunday.

It simply means that your brain expects you to have certain sex characteristics. Gender dysphoria comes from when your brain finds your sex characteristics do not match your gender, and generally freaks out about it.

Note: I'm in no way, at all, an expert or even particularly well-informed about this stuff. This is really just dumbed-down speculation on my part.
*Looks around, and stand up..slowly beginning to applaud and then louder and faster, echoed by cheering and "whooping"*

I always get tripped up on my thoughts about this sort of thing. Being trans for some bazaar reason makes it really difficult to explain what's going on in my head. I thank you for a well thought out and compassionate explanation :)

/hugs
Yay hugs! /hug back

Yeah, I've always found it difficult to explain gender identity and stuff, this is probably the clearest I've ever managed to get it across. Thanks for reassuring me that it made sense!
 

squeekenator

New member
Dec 23, 2008
228
0
0
Beckygrrl said:
And hey, we know how to fix the car and we kill our own spiders...what more could a man want?
Wait, what? I'm supposed to be killing spiders? Only if there's some way of doing it without being in the same room as the hell-spawned creature. They have EIGHT. LEGS. And poison and stuff.
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
5,717
0
0
Melanie McGreevey said:
DigitalSushi said:
As a male, I like the thing between my legs for its performance, but I dislike its aesthetics. and why the hell when I'm horny all thought process goes out the window.
Suddenly i forgot what we were talking about....:p
wanna take it for a test drive babygirl?
 

Psykoma

New member
Nov 29, 2010
480
0
0
I've known a few non-op transwomen. If you're into that they're definitely out there. The main reason the ones I know of are non-op is that they still want to use a penis for sex, so that'd be a plus for you I guess.
Don't ask me how the logic works. For them, which is all that matters, it just does.
 

Grey Day for Elcia

New member
Jan 15, 2012
1,773
0
0
Champthrax said:
I have never liked the term "gender", I prefer using "sex"

Lets make it easy

you have XY chromosomes, you're male
you have XX, you are female

What you want to think of yourself as is fairly irrelevant. I may go around acting like a tyrannosaurus rex, but it doesn't really make me a t-rex, no matter how convincing I am.

And another thing, why is everybody so supportive about changing their bodies to match their minds. Though if you suggest trying to change the way they think to match their bodies (as in, psychological treatment to make them happy with what they have), you are some kind of insensitive prick.
So, there are two genders and they are both defined by one's chromosomes, you think? What of individuals born with an extra chromosome? According to you they would be neither gender, but also according to you there is only two options. Thus, you're left with a hole in your logic.

You can either

A) say they are neither and create a new gender - against your logic

B) say they are both - against your logic

C) say they decide what gender they are - against your logic
 

DANEgerous

New member
Jan 4, 2012
805
0
0
Wait now T am slightly confused to me male to female or female to male transsexuals are not different than their non-transsexual counterparts, it is not that I deny they are different i just do not consider them different enough to be a man or woman and being Bi and rather happy with the ieda of adoption the differences that exist are just kind of insignificant to me
 

Goofguy

New member
Nov 25, 2010
3,862
0
0
So you're basically looking for this woman:



before she had her penis removed?
 

Grey Day for Elcia

New member
Jan 15, 2012
1,773
0
0
Goofguy said:
So you're basically looking for this woman:



before she had her penis removed?
She's not really my type. I like whiter sorta skin and shorter. Call me picky :p
 

Bara_no_Hime

New member
Sep 15, 2010
3,644
0
0
orangeban said:
Yay hugs! /hug back
Yeah, I've always found it difficult to explain gender identity and stuff, this is probably the clearest I've ever managed to get it across. Thanks for reassuring me that it made sense!
I wish to give you hugs for a wonderful explanation as well.

I have several trans friends, not to mention a trans ex-girlfriend, and it has taken many conversations and much explanation to sum up what you just did in half a page.

Fucking awesomely said.

**hugs**
 

CrazyCapnMorgan

Is not insane, just crazy >:)
Jan 5, 2011
2,742
0
0
Grey Day for Elcia said:
Humans are tricky creatures, aren't we, lol.
Here's an idea I've been wrestling with - humans are unnatural. If we were natural, would we have over-populated and over built nearly everything on this planet?

As for the whole sexuality issue, I say this - to each their own. We're different in the sense that we have preferences for our sexual urges, but we're the same in that we all have sexual urges. I look at this way, the way I judge people is the sum of their dreams, their beliefs and their actions. If they aren't infringing on another person's freedoms...who the fuck am I to argue what they do with their lives, sexually or otherwise?
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
5,717
0
0
Grey Day for Elcia said:
Goofguy said:
So you're basically looking for this woman:



before she had her penis removed?
She's not really my type. I like whiter sorta skin and shorter. Call me picky :p
I'm very picky, but she's a hottie, hell I'm not gay[footnote]the lady Sush does protest too much![/footnote] but I totally would if she still had a penis.
 

Grey Day for Elcia

New member
Jan 15, 2012
1,773
0
0
CrazyCapnMorgan said:
If they aren't infringing on another person's freedoms...who the fuck am I to argue what they do with their lives, sexually or otherwise?
100% What two adults wanna do is completely fine with me. This mentality some people have that, for example, homosexuality must be made illegal etc., is beyond me. I mean... how does it makes sense in anyone's mind to want to stop two (or more) adults from performing a consenting behavior that harms no one?
 

Relish in Chaos

New member
Mar 7, 2012
2,658
0
0
Melanie McGreevey said:
Relish in Chaos said:
Melanie McGreevey said:
FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) is insanely invasive, and takes a LONG time to heal from..it's also VERY expensive (haven't looked lately, but a few years i did out of curiosity, and it was). That aside, it does work wonders.

I feel i am too old for FFS at this point. I seem to pass just fine as i am. I'd rather have the GRS and some voice training instead.
Yeah, I don't know that much about FFS, but I've just heard it being mentioned occasionally.
no, ya... I wouldn't mind a little, but frankly i have known girls that got it, and on occasion can still be read.
But presumably, somewhat less than a trans woman without FFS.

Even still, as I aforementioned, there are loads of trans women, with or without FFS, that mostly can't be read. Besides, I guess there are loads of "natural" women that look masculine. I didn't know what gender this girl at my school was until my friend told me she was his sister. Admittedly, she's about 12, but still.

And there are two twin teenage sisters at my school who sound quite deep, although that could be because they smoke. These are probably in the minority, but they exist nonetheless. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that a woman must have a penis just because she's got a few angular facial features or a lump in her trouser pocket, unless it was really obvious.

orangeban said:
It's difficult to explain gender dysphoria to someone who hasn't experienced it, it'd be like explaining pain to someone who hasn't experienced it, you really do need to feel it to understand. But I'll try.

Our brains are set to a gender (this can be anything from the conventional male and female, to both genders, gender fluid, androgynous, etc.), and in most people, the gender our brain is set to matches the sex characteristics you have been provided with. These people (the correct term is cispeople) generally don't appreciate or understand the difference between gender and sex without education about it, because they can't distinguish between them, since they match up inside them. In transpeople, the gender the brain is set to does not match the sex characteristics provided, causing the dysphoria.

Now to explain what exactly I mean when I say our brains are set to a gender. First, it's important to realise the difference between gender and expression. Having a female gender doesn't mean that you love ponies, pink, housework and other stereotypically female things. Neither does having a male gender mean you enjoy drinking beer with your bros over a sports game every Sunday.

It simply means that your brain expects you to have certain sex characteristics. Gender dysphoria comes from when your brain finds your sex characteristics do not match your gender, and generally freaks out about it.

Note: I'm in no way, at all, an expert or even particularly well-informed about this stuff. This is really just dumbed-down speculation on my part.
Yeah, that's probably one of the best explanations of gender dysphoria I've seen.

Another, less scientific but perhaps more social, explanation is this analogy I thought up, applicable to trans men. If you were a man and you knew you were a man, but for some reason, you had a vagina and you had to experience both the physical and mental pain of menstruation that wasn't meant to even happen, and everyone you knew referred to you with female pronouns, how would you feel? You wouldn't feel like you were you, as if you'd literally been body-swapped.

You know one or two of those comedy films where a guy and girl get body-swapped, and at first, the guy is freakin' ecstatic because his guy brain loves the fact that he can fondle himself all day. Yeah, imagine being like that for years, for what'd seem like the rest of your life. You wouldn't even know what the fuck to do with yourself, and then all that suppression would eventually come to the fore and you wouldn't be able to keep it to yourself anymore.


Beckygrrl said:
Even if a trans woman still has her penis, she very often has no interest in using it in a sexual way because it conflicts with her self-image.
Maybe this is a bad example, but there's a reason that the transsexual porn industry is so large. And they aren't "pretending" or anything either (although I'm not implying that you implied they were). Aren't many trans women simply happy with having the breasts, or just being generally perceived in society as a woman? Some don't recoil in horror when they have to look down at their penis in the shower, some even like it as it gives them that different edge, and some don't think that your outward genitalia determines their gender (identity) or even makes a difference to them.

Plus, there have been cases where people have gone into the surgery and their genitalia has been, for lack of a better word...unresponsive. As in, they can't use it sexually, even if they wanted to. Although I'd heard that this might be more of a problem with autogynephiles that merely want to change sex for the kink of it, which makes you wonder...how did they even meet the necessary psychological evaluations? I'm not entirely sure on that you really get such dedicated autogynephiles that can get accepted for surgery willy-nilly (pardon the pun) like that, much less those that even want to go as far as that just for a paraphilia.

CrazyCapnMorgan said:
Grey Day for Elcia said:
Humans are tricky creatures, aren't we, lol.
Here's an idea I've been wrestling with - humans are unnatural. If we were natural, would we have over-populated and over built nearly everything on this planet?

As for the whole sexuality issue, I say this - to each their own. We're different in the sense that we have preferences for our sexual urges, but we're the same in that we all have sexual urges. I look at this way, the way I judge people is the sum of their dreams, their beliefs and their actions. If they aren't infringing on another person's freedoms...who the fuck am I to argue what they do with their lives, sexually or otherwise?
Yes, I think that too. To the homophobes that claim that homosexuality is ?against nature?, I just refer to all the highly unnatural technology and money that we?ve invented over the years and rely on to this day (just because you don?t watch ?what those Satanists call television? doesn?t mean that you aren?t required to use the computer or the toaster, which they didn?t use however many years ago when your shitty propaganda book was written, for your day-to-day lives), and ask them when they have sex, do they do it for pleasure or procreation? Unsurprisingly, many of them choose the former. I mean, how could you not have sex for pleasure? Even the hardcore Catholics can?t deny basic human biology, unless they want to chemically castrate themselves or something, which would directly go against procreation if they can?t even use the damn thing. Or maybe they want to all be like animals, but it simply doesn?t work like that. They?d just get so sexually repressed that they?d end up?I dunno, becoming a priest and molesting a prepubescent boy.

Sorry, sorry, that was out of order; we shouldn?t give in to stereotypes like that. Huh, that sounds ironic, doesn?t it? The same priests that blacklist all homosexuals as being sex-addicted child-molesters are now being stereotyped themselves for being repressed child-molesters. I?m almost inclined to believe in karma. ;)
 

CrazyCapnMorgan

Is not insane, just crazy >:)
Jan 5, 2011
2,742
0
0
Grey Day for Elcia said:
This mentality some people have that, for example, homosexuality must be made illegal etc., is beyond me. I mean... how does it makes sense in anyone's mind to want to stop two (or more) adults from performing a consenting behavior that harms no one?
Because others believe that normalicy through their perception should be the way it's done for everyone...which misses the point of being human entirely.

Something I've learned as I've gone through material for being a future stand-up comedian, or in my case (and others) stand-up philosopher, is something that ties in with mob mentality - God. Firstly, I apologize for bringing this up in this thread - however, it is something that is related in this kind of topic. Many social critics have debated and bashed God...yet, no one has seemed to define it universally. So, I did something a little Carlin-esqe: I researched the literal meaning. Well, that took me to Greek language - and America has borrowed a lot from the Greeks, in that regard. What I found was that God, literally translated, was "theos". In furthered research, I found the Greek word "entheos", which when translated to English, means "god within". Now, you might realize that "entheos" sounds familiar - that's because in the English language, we have a word derived from "entheos" - enthusiasm. Enthusiasm means, as best I could find: having or showing intense enjoyment, interest or approval. Now, when you realize that words "entheos" and "enthusiasm" are the same word, by that comparison it means that their definitions are also the same! Therefore, god within = intense enjoyment, interest or approval! Combine that with our non-infringement discussion from before and you LITERALLY HAVE A FORMULA FOR PEACE!

Now, how this has escaped notice from the religious community, especially seeing as how "enthusiasm" originated through religious terminology, is a god-damned mystery to me. Prolly to busy trying to tell everyone what's supposed to be normal, you know?
 

Scars Unseen

^ ^ v v < > < > B A
May 7, 2009
3,028
0
0
Dear lord, I need to stop reading the forums when I'm dead tired. I thought I clicked onto a topic titled "Dating a Tyrannosaur."
 

Relish in Chaos

New member
Mar 7, 2012
2,658
0
0
CrazyCapnMorgan said:
Grey Day for Elcia said:
This mentality some people have that, for example, homosexuality must be made illegal etc., is beyond me. I mean... how does it makes sense in anyone's mind to want to stop two (or more) adults from performing a consenting behavior that harms no one?
Because others believe that normalicy through their perception should be the way it's done for everyone...which misses the point of being human entirely.

Something I've learned as I've gone through material for being a future stand-up comedian, or in my case (and others) stand-up philosopher, is something that ties in with mob mentality - God. Firstly, I apologize for bringing this up in this thread - however, it is something that is related in this kind of topic. Many social critics have debated and bashed God...yet, no one has seemed to define it universally. So, I did something a little Carlin-esqe: I researched the literal meaning. Well, that took me to Greek language - and America has borrowed a lot from the Greeks, in that regard. What I found was that God, literally translated, was "theos". In furthered research, I found the Greek word "entheos", which when translated to English, means "god within". Now, you might realize that "entheos" sounds familiar - that's because in the English language, we have a word derived from "entheos" - enthusiasm. Enthusiasm means, as best I could find: having or showing intense enjoyment, interest or approval. Now, when you realize that words "entheos" and "enthusiasm" are the same word, by that comparison it means that their definitions are also the same! Therefore, god within = intense enjoyment, interest or approval! Combine that with our non-infringement discussion from before and you LITERALLY HAVE A FORMULA FOR PEACE!

Now, how this has escaped notice from the religious community, especially seeing as how "enthusiasm" originated through religious terminology, is a god-damned mystery to me. Prolly to busy trying to tell everyone what's supposed to be normal, you know?
There's so much irony in the actions of religious followers that it's hilarious. Also, how ridiculously contradictory their holy books are.

Also ironically, they seem to think too much about men's penises, what they may do with their penises, and what their penises may do with other men, than just following their own enlightenment or whatever. Like that Kelloggs guy, with little boys' penises. And I thought they say "God helps those who helps themselves", not "God helps those who get it hammered into that they are being helped by others".
 

CrazyCapnMorgan

Is not insane, just crazy >:)
Jan 5, 2011
2,742
0
0
Relish in Chaos said:
There's so much irony in the actions of religious followers that it's hilarious. Also, how ridiculously contradictory their holy books are.

Also ironically, they seem to think too much about men's penises, what they may do with their penises, and what their penises may do with other men, than just following their own enlightenment or whatever. Like that Kelloggs guy, with little boys' penises. And I thought they say "God helps those who helps themselves", not "God helps those who get it hammered into that they are being helped by others".
The two things religion seems to fetishize, is dick and death. I had this fear, when I was younger, about meeting fundamentalist religious people during Halloween. That I'd knock on the door, they'd open it, and I'd go...

"Trick or Treat!"

And they'd go...

"DICK AND DEATH!!!!!!!!"

And I'd go...

"...I hope that's not the treat."
 

Relish in Chaos

New member
Mar 7, 2012
2,658
0
0
CrazyCapnMorgan said:
Relish in Chaos said:
There's so much irony in the actions of religious followers that it's hilarious. Also, how ridiculously contradictory their holy books are.

Also ironically, they seem to think too much about men's penises, what they may do with their penises, and what their penises may do with other men, than just following their own enlightenment or whatever. Like that Kelloggs guy, with little boys' penises. And I thought they say "God helps those who helps themselves", not "God helps those who get it hammered into that they are being helped by others".
The two things religion seems to fetishize, is dick and death. I had this fear, when I was younger, about meeting fundamentalist religious people during Halloween. That I'd knock on the door, they'd open it, and I'd go...

"Trick or Treat!"

And they'd go...

"DICK AND DEATH!!!!!!!!"

And I'd go...

"...I hope that's not the treat."
Lol. I always thought religion seemed to fetishize circumcision and stealing young girls' virginities.

Also ironic is how the "forbidden" aspect of various old taboos, such as homosexuality, anal sex and nuns, have now been fetishized and are very popular fetishes among many people too.
 

orangeban

New member
Nov 27, 2009
1,442
0
0
Bara_no_Hime said:
orangeban said:
Yay hugs! /hug back
Yeah, I've always found it difficult to explain gender identity and stuff, this is probably the clearest I've ever managed to get it across. Thanks for reassuring me that it made sense!
I wish to give you hugs for a wonderful explanation as well.

I have several trans friends, not to mention a trans ex-girlfriend, and it has taken many conversations and much explanation to sum up what you just did in half a page.

Fucking awesomely said.

**hugs**
Hugs all around! **hugs all of Escapist with mighty internet arms**