When in doubt, pinkies out.
If the problem persists, use a higher caliber.
If the problem still continues, call in the artillery.
If the problem is still alive, call in air support.
If the problem is somewhat moving, call in a nuclear bomb.
Fifty rounds of ammunition should amount to fifty-one kills.
Anything that is less than one hundred yards away from you is killable with your bare hands.
If you see three red dots on your teammates foreheads, duck and then constantly shout "DOO EET!
If your air support crashes, immediately shout "GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!"
If you see a zombie, aim for the head.
If you see a vampire, make sure you have wooden stakes and live in a desert.
If you die, you will be in a world of shit, because Marines are not allowed to die.
If you are going on a suicidal mission, everyone will live.
If you are going on an easy mission, you will be ambushed and everyone but you will die.
If you are fighting aliens, you will eventually win.
If you are aliens, you will eventually lose.
If you are in a movie directed by George A Romero, prepared for everything to die.
If you meet a man with an increasing affection for Twinkies, be prepared for him to be pissed If you shoot up the last remaining Twinkie in the world.
If you meet a child, shoot it.
If you ask MercenaryCanary for some answers, he will provide a ludicrous amount of smart-ass answers that have no relevancy to the topic.