Don't Laugh Please, This Is Kinda Serious

[justnotcricket]

I think if your brother starts making a big deal over this he's the one who will look foolish - PROVIDED that you maintain your composure and just shrug off all accusations with a smile and a comment on how people seem to be so very interested in this - they must think about it a lot themselves...

As for your parents, see what happens. If they go nuts on you, you can either claim your brother was lying (how's he going to prove anything?) or stand up to them. Your choice. I'm sure nothing will come of it though, because your brother probably does it just as much ;-)

 

[asam92]

Telling people at school might be worse, not that it matters too much, assuming you are fapping in the first place tells me you are at High School, where nearly all of them would. As the bible says "Yet he is without sin cast the first stone"
Also, if your parents are massive Christians doesnt mean you have too be.
Now all this fapping talk has got me thinking of doing the same............just kidding.......... or am I?

 

[Saelune]

How old is your brother? If he is old enough to do it too, he is. If not, he will. He has no right to tell on you. Besides, there is nothing wrong with what you did (atleast on its own). I think Christians are generally fine with it too anyways.

 

[Smooth Operator]

ROFL, you mate just made my day
I can't see it being a big problem, ya it's embarrassing like all hell but get used to it, life is full of these things.

 

[Random Fella]

I'm pretty sure it's not a sin to masturbate if you're christian, only catholic?
But it is a sin to have lust, so the only way is to masturbate without thinking any dirty thoughts. But obviously you weren't obeying that rule were ya

 

[Littlee300]

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great...

If a sperm is wasted god gets quit enraged

 

[Stuberfinn88]

So your brother caught you jacking off...

It seems to me....

"Puts on sunglasses"

That you just screwed yourself.

 

[MorphingDragon]

Don't Laugh Please, This Is Kinda Serious - I found a breast lump.

OT Though: Catholics look down making knuckle children. No parts of the bible specifically condemns it unless it leads to acts of lust. (You are free to LOL)

 

[Carnagath]

This is a gaming website, not yahoo answers. Please take this somewhere else.

Either way, we are talking joysticks here. Or possibly a Wii...

Sonofabitch, you made me choke on my coffee and spit it on the screen. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

 

[Phototoxin]

From bluebible;

A commonly referenced proverb to highlight the evils of masturbation frequently mistaken as a biblical admonition is typically phrased as, "It is better to cast your seed in the belly of a whore than to spill it on the ground." The fact is, though, this is not anything to be found in the pages of Scripture. We get this question fairly often and have been trying to track down the origin of the saying, but alas, with no luck. While not certain of the phrase's exact origin, it does seem to be a false extrapolation of Genesis 38 and the story of Onan, Tamar, and Judah.

According to Ancient Near Eastern culture, it would have been the responsibility of Onan to impregnate his dead brother's wife that his brother's line might continue. Selfishly, Onan did not wish any of his offspring to bear any name other than his own; and so while he did, in fact, take up the responsibility of sexual relations with his brother's wife, he would not ejaculate inside her but instead practiced the withdrawal method of birth control. God punished Onan for his wickedness and greed by putting him to death (and not, as is popularly believed, for masturbating). The rest of the narrative features the wife, Tamar, posing as a prostitute and seducing Onan's father, Judah. By him, she conceives and bears a son from whom Christ would descend. And God does not strike Judah or punish him in any way in the narrative.

So it appears that some cynic had taken the veneer of the tale and crafted a wry commentary that has come to be known as actual Scripture (unfortunately). In the end, the admonition is far from biblical and has nothing to do with masturbation.

Scripture also says that eating shellfish is wrong.

 

[Nouw]

If he did tell people it'd be like saying "My bro farts LOLOLOLOL," at first it may seem unpleasant but it hits you that everyone does it or has done it some time in their life.
[sub]With rare exceptions.[/sub]

 

[mr_pants66]

well i would go with the blackmail card but that is a bit of a dick thing to do so maybe you could just ask your bro not to tall them BUT on the other hand just because you are not going to be a dick and blackmail does not mean your bro wont, now there is a chance that he has no idea that your parents would care and you should not let him find that out or he will probable be a tool and try to get something off out of you, so basically he would blackmail you with it

enough of that now what i would do, nothing i would do nothing and there is a good 85% chance that it will just blow over and lead to nothing. that is just what i would do

 

[Megacherv]

Heh, now that I think about it, there are times when I've seen him with his door shut...

Let me tell you a story.

When Dr. Alfred Kinsey published the Kinsey Report Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, he shocked America with his research that said that 90% of men masturbated regularly. When he spoke to a journalist, he was asked "What does say about America, that 90% of men admitted that they masturbate regularly". He replied with "It shows that 10% of men are liars".

You see my point?

Now, fap away, my friend.

 

[NotSoNimble]

Yeah, cause the majority of humans have never done that, I see why you are concerned.

Err wait, no... I don't get the big deal here.

Heh, now that I think about it, there are times when I've seen him with his door shut...

When Dr. Alfred Kinsey published the Kinsey Report Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, he shocked America with his research that said that 90% of men masturbated regularly. When he spoke to a journalist, he was asked "What does say about America, that 90% of men admitted that they masturbate regularly". He replied with "It shows that 10% of men are liars".

You see my point?

He didn't shock people with the numbers, he shocked people because he was talking about it publicly. It was taboo.

I thought people were past this being a 'big deal' in modern societies.

 

[Naheal]

Or! Option #3. Otherwise known as the magnificent bastard option. Start fapping in your room, wait till they come in for something, stare them right in the eye and finish like a boss all over a bible. Bonus points for ripping a few pages out of it to clean yourself off with. (Only take this option if they really annoy you using their religious beliefs.

That's not even remotely close to right to be Magnificent Bastard-ish.

Step 1: Switch your brother's and your bible.

Step 2: Fap, soiling your brother's bible. Make sure to get enough there for it to stick around for a while.

Step 3: Wait for it to stain. Multiple applications may be necessary.

Step 4: Find some substance with the proper consistency, but will remain "wet" for a longer period of time. Trade your bible with your brother's, now soiled, bible. Make sure to hide these properly.

Step 5: If you're ever caught, you can claim innocence and say you don't know how that actually happened, mentioning that you've heard some odd noises coming from your brother's room.

Step 6: ???

Step 7: PROFIT!

 

[Wintermoot]

hope he doesn't tell
or ask him not to tell your parents

 

[sb666]

if they find out tell them its better then what there local priest likely does to substitute wanking and doing it