Duke Nukem Forever Review

[V Gray]

how much do you wont to believe this game is going to piss the enemies of gaming right off. Thank you Duke, you've set gaming as an art form one massive step back.

p.s. I'm not trying to anger anyone, I haven't played the game, I've just seen the video, but I just cant see how this is going to turn out well. not when the game contains tit slapping, strip clubs, and female torture, it might just give us gamers a bad name.

 

[Trololo Punk]

What a surprise...

 

[Assassin Xaero]

I'm still waiting to play the game before I believe all the "this sucks" remarks. No offense to you or anyone else, but you did give Dragon Age: Origins 5 stars, and that was one of the worst games I ever played. Same with everyone on here saying it sucks when the same people are the "omgz skyrim!!!!!!1111" people...

 

[Madara XIII]

Good review, based on the comments in the whole review, it should have gotten one-star instead of two, but whatever. Also, to be fair, this game was in development at Gearbox for what? 8 months? They took over the project in August 2010 and the game was ready to release in June 2011. This implies that they took something semi-finished and added bits and pieces to it, for it to be release-able as soon as possible, to cash in on any of the hype that was left over. Theoretically, if Gearbox or any other developer worked on this from start to finish, it might have been more worthwhile, since you know too many chefs quite appartently spoiled the broth.

I can't say I expected much from this.

I want to know what warranted a second star, though.

Fuck, I can barely see what warranted the first.

A one-star game, in our system, is one that is quite literally unplayable [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/7149-What-Our-Review-Scores-Mean].

Hehehe sounds like one of those Generic Adventure games based off a children's Tv Show like Dora or Hello Kitty XD

Either way I am in despair. I wanted Duke to be good.

Oh well time to take this game off my WANT list at gamestop

 

[Auxiliary]

I enjoyed the hype more than the game. The commercial with the doctors removing a turd out of someone's neck was great.

 

[RabbidKuriboh]

the thing that really confuses me is that this game is supposed to be pretty much 50% hot women, but has some of the ugliest/creepiest female character designs i've ever seen!

i mean look at bioware or square that has female characters that are far more atractive than these stroke ridden marionettes, as well as being fully fleshed characters instead of jus erection material

i am glad to see the amount of crap this game has gotten, it really shows how we have matured over the years

 

[Aerograt]

I still think they missed a trick with the ego health system.

He could have had to do something cool to get his ego back. Like shooting a dude in the dick or something.

The more zaney stuff you do, the bigger your ego bar gets. And when it's low. You have to do something like benchpress an enemy carcase to boost it back up.

The rest of it looks pretty much how I imagined though.

Theres an idea. You could still have had "healthpacks" as well, like autograph books or dvds of Duke around to collect. Salvagable system. Grunting and flying backwards when hit by a shrunken enemy like its a freightrain is just broken.

Hold the freaking phone dude, that's brilliant. "Health packs" could be porn mags, beer (scrap the freaking vision blur), cigarettes... A bunch of "cool and inappropriate" stuff like that.

 

[Eri]

I'd recommend giving this a read. http://kotaku.com/5811449/in-defense-of-duke-nukem-forever

 

[Nuke_em_05]

Spoiler: My Updated Post

You know what, I picked it up on Steam over the weekend, played through most of it (I'm on top of the dam now, ), gotta say, not that bad.

Sure, it isn't ground breaking.

Sure, you can do things like throw poo, slap boobies, draw penises, etc.; but they aren't things they point out for you to do in-game. They seem to be things you have to kinda be looking for anyway... I mean, I go looking around for interactive stuff, but I see "grab" on poo, and I decide not to click "use". I see a whiteboard or signature, I would be the one to choose to draw a penis. I just did a bunch of squiggles in different colors (I was honestly mildly excited to be able to change colors). The boobies, I actually tried to melee them first because a bunch of things on that level that look like that are things you should destroy, I elected not to slap upon discovering the context key.

So, sure, it can sound like a bad game if you just focus on the immature possibilities.

Now then, as for regenerating ego, sure, hiding is a bad way to go as far as context. You do realize you can replenish ego via an execution, yeah? That's pretty "bad-ass" I would think.

I kinda like the platforming, I think people forget how much there actually was in the "classics" like doom, duke, or quake. I also think the driving levels were pretty cool.

Combat and gameplay seemed on-par with most shooters, really. It would have been nifty to have the old school more guns than physically possible model, but the two-guns option still works. Reliance on "infinite ammo" dumps does feel a little odd to me, especially in the boss fights.

Plot-wise, hell, it works. It isn't great, but there is a story and it does progress. A story on-par with pretty much all existing Duke "canon". The jokes didn't seem too over-the-top or in-your-face to me. I chuckled at a few even.

So, I don't know, it didn't seem like that bad of a game. Sure, it isn't spectacular, it has some faults, but honestly, I think it is pretty good so far. Maybe not worth a replay, but not something to avoid like the plague.

.>

Whelp, that's a bummer...

Maybe I just like the idea of a new Duke Nukem game. The original games were great, for the time anyway, and I still like the gameplay, even if the content is immature. I guess that was the thing, though, the immaturity was an aside to the gameplay back then; certainly omni-present, but not specifically the focus.

Then again, maybe the reviews are just focusing on it to focus on it. Anyone who thought this game was going be one of those that moves the industry forward had the wrong idea. If someone expected it to at least have good gameplay; that is a valid expectation, and it seems this review would indicate it hasn't been met.

I still tend to like to form my own opinion; so I'll still buy it and play it, when I have spare time and money to do so. That is the sad part, those of us who enjoyed Duke in High School or Junior High are now working professionals, homeowners, and maybe even parents. All the things that allowed us to enjoy games like Duke at the time are now scarce, and used on more valuable things.

Boy the implications of the timeline for this game's development are somewhat depressing, eh?

 

[BodomBeachChild]

Sometimes I wonder if this isn't just going through was KZ2 went through and people thought it would be a life changing experience. Except this time the game isn't getting rave reviews.

 

[Darth_Dude]

-sigh-

I called it..

 

[mikev7.0]

Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.

Me and my friend Randy (who is a HUGE old school DUKE fan and I think I even saw a little tear when I told him about the missing Mighty Boot....) are thinking of getting that instead of DNF. Other than Bulletstorm, if yer in it for the funny, there is also Eat Lead if you really want to play a spoof of video games and action heroes.

OT: Thanks for the review, this is what I've been hearing but not great news, I wonder if DNF was a highly anticipated title for you though. Or did you just see it like any other game? I'm wondering if maybe an old school fan like my friend (who also loves pretty much any FPS old or new with the exception of Gears and "newer" Halos) will still get his moneys worth if he doesn't just get Bulletstorm instead. (He already has Eat Lead and has beaten it multiple times.)

 

[PopcornAvenger]

Well, we'll see. Lots more reviews to look over, meybe a lil' Let's Play.

I gotta agree though, letting modern "realistic" shooters pollute what should have been an over-the-top shootfest sounds bad. Ugh. Developers, the more you make it like COD or MW, the farther I want to run away from it. It better have a solid singleplayer game, too, forget the MP.

*sigh* I'll set my gaming goo-goo eyes on Bioshock Infinite. But why in the hell are they promoting it so hard when it's not out for another YEAR? You guys are driving me crazy!

 

[sir.rutthed]

"Recommendation: If you are stuck on a deserted island with only this game to play, go fishing instead. Worth playing so that you may be able to say that you did, but otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time."

I'm not one to beef about scores too much, but what would a game have to do get a 1-star rating, I mean Jesus Christ xD

This. Seriously, I think he literally had one good thing to say about it. Does a game have to eat orphans or something to get one star?!

 

[StrixMaxima]

Well, is this a surprise, after all? A game that has been in the hands of more people than an X-Rated blond could not be feasibly good.

Games are like kids: it takes a good upbringing to make them decent.

 

[AndyCobra]

Why do I love DNF?

Well it's simple actually......cause it brings out the 13 year old in me. So I'm in my mid 20's going to my daily job, having fun with my entourage, loving my girl, playing my harden realistic games. And then when I heard DNF was finally coming I pre-ordered it in a flash.
While the game installed I prepared myself for those fun times I had with the Duke in childhood, so I brought out the 13 year old inside me and I can say i had a great time with it.
Ok so the graphics mediocre, not to bad but not to spectacular, the gameplay is fun although some weapons look more powerfull than they actually are. The pacing is decent and the combat kicks ass.
But it all doesn't matter cause when i got in that headset I was a kid again. My girlfriend was next to me watching TV while I was playing and looking at my monitor she asked:" Are you blowing off pig limbs and slapping wall boobs?, What are you 12?" To which I replied "ooohh yeah baby". For those 10h it took my to finish it I was in a trance: shooting aliens in the face with a shotgun, yelling one-liners, splaping boobs, geting a BJ in a glory-hole in a strip clubs restroom and much more.
And this is what this game is a escape from the daily routine of realistic gritty games.
And that's why I love this game, cause it allows me to be an immature kid again.

PS: Nostalgia help.

 

[Koios]

This would actually make me want to buy the game even more if I didn't know that it was a console-port with 2 weapons at any given time lacking "fun gameplay".

According to the devs, the pc version is superior to the console version

[quote="Lord_Gremlin" post="6.291386.11575431"
There is 1 alarming fact in the whole review. Only one, but it's important. Reviewer actually spent an hour trying to beat alien Queen. Really? You never even tried to think it seems. It's a disgrace. I can see someone spending maybe 15 minutes - figuring the right spot and minion spawn pattern - but an hour? Sorry, but reviewer sucks at this game. And that is a fact said reviewer basically admitted. It's all right to criticize the flaws, and God knows DNF has them aplenty, BUT if player sucks that bad himself... The criticism becomes largely irrelevant.[/quote]

When I read the author's description of that boss fight, I said: Wait a minute, that can't be right. I watched Little Kuriboh play that boss fight, and even though he died a few times and had some trouble, he didn't have anywhere near that much trouble.

He also had a lot more health than the article's author at that point because he was not getting one hit killed- 2 or 3 hit killed, maybe, but not one (I don't really remember, clearly).

Back to the point that really annoyed me though, was the author stating that dying in that boss fight sent you back to the beginning of the level when it clearly doesn't. When LK died, he jut had to redo the boss fight, not traverse an entire level.


At the very least, I know from watching LK play that when I play this game I will have just as much fun as I had playing previous Duke games, and I'm perfectly happy with that.

 

[mjc0961]

It would be more appropriate if that scene at the start went like this:

"What about the game, Duke? Was it any good?"
"No, and after 14 fucking years, did anyone expect it to be?"

Anyway, very interesting review supplement. Ending is especially great. "Because I'm not 12, and this game sucks."

 

[mikev7.0]

And yet... two stars.

Hm. Very conflicted now. I was all set to get this game even if it was a piece of shit, just because it's practically an urban legend.

But... I don't know. I just don't know.

I know I'm probably shooting rubber bands at the stars here, or maybe it would be more appropriate to say that I'm chucking dollar bills onto an empty stage....

Yet I've heard the idea that Gearbox only bought this so that they would own the franchise (thereby being able to make their own Duke game) and so that all of 3D realms work would not have been for nothing as there was a huge fan outcry for the release of this game. So maybe something better is on the horizon?

In the mean time as someone who owns lots of games others say suck (for instance buying Green Lantern instead of Duke Nuke Em' or Thor over Brink and LA Noire) buy what you think you will enjoy. If nothing else, you are a fan who owns a piece of gaming history. It won't matter to me what pros pan it when the sequel to Eat Lead comes out, I'll play it anyway if only so it can be Hazzard time one more.... er, again.

 

[Koios]

p.s. I'm not trying to anger anyone, I haven't played the game, I've just seen the video, but I just cant see how this is going to turn out well. not when the game contains tit slapping, strip clubs, and female torture, it might just give us gamers a bad name.

They media has had over a decade to ***** about those things- they were in Duke NUkem 64 and Duke Nukem 3D- this might be a little more 'in your face' about it, but it's nothing new.