Duke Nukem Forever Review

[Swifteye]

I guess Yathzee was right all along but still MUST. HAVE. YATHZEE REVIEW.

 

[demontrace]

Bottom Line: Duke Nukem Forever is a deeply flawed game that I would have stopped playing after five minutes were it not a requirement of my job to play longer. Although no amount of money could have convinced me to press on all the way to the end.

Recommendation: If you are stuck on a deserted island with only this game to play, go fishing instead. Worth playing so that you may be able to say that you did, but otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time.

Lol that bottom line made me laugh, along with the start of the recommendation. Very funny. Too bad the game is terrible.

 

[The Random One]

I'm not 12, but when this game was announced, I was.

 

[Coldster]

Yep, I played the demo and got the same feeling. Such a shame seeing that I went into it hoping that it would live up to its predecessors standards, but it failed and now I'm left not only disappointed, but very very sad.

 

[SomeBritishDude]

Duke Nukem Forever. I wish it'd taken Forever.

 

[DalekJaas]

Your video should be called '10 things I would like about Duke Nukem if I wasn't a hardcore nerd'.

This game isn't designed for the pretentious hardcore gamers you find on places like the escapist.

I let a few friends (who don't play games) have a go on my computer because it seemed like a game early 20s males would find really funny and we just spent the whole time having a laugh.

The game is not great, but it is better than all the serious clone FPS games that have come out recently. I put it on par with Turok, the graphics are ok, the mechanics are ok, the story is interesting enough to keep you playing and it has some really over the top humour (Duke is such a douche bag).

Not a great game but enjoyable nonetheless.

EDIT: It took you an hour to beat the Queen Alien? Why were you the one reviewing this game...

 

[Cliff_m85]

This just in: He also hated on Portal 2. My judgment is reserved, and I'm only here for the game footage.

Anyone else getting the distinct link between the author's continued personal input on the site and the ill-fated Game Dogs series? You should.

Hmmmmm.....interesting. He hated on Portal 2? Well, I'm definitely buying Duke tomorrow then. If you hate Portal 2, you really don't understand the games you're playing.

 

[gphjr14]

I knew it was gonna suck for the fact it took so long to be made. Too many people had their hands in its creation and you end up with a bunch of ideas that aren't fully realized.

 

[Mendaceum]

Why..why...why...WHY!

Why did they have to make it cover-based? Why couldn't they make what it should have been, a Doom/DukeNukem style run n' gun, no cover, no regenerating health bar style shooter? A homage to that era of games? Why even bother to use the modern, generic COD/Gears/Everydamnothergame style shooter, when what we wanted was a trip to nostalgialand?

/headdesk. I wanted this to be good so..very..badly.

 

[Yureina]

-snip-

I seem to recall you saying in that recent podcast that you were not going to review DNF because of your personal feelings about it. I take it that something interfered with your plan and you had to be the one to review it anyway? :s

In any event, I wasn't going to buy this game no matter what scores it got. Bad scores though... certainly make me feel more "right" in that choice.

 

[FranckN]

while playing Duke Nukem I had the feeling i was re Playing Half Life 2. Alien invasion, puzzle solving, vehicle riding, the guns style.
The only difference is that half life has a more charming and interesting main character ;P

 

[Unhappy Crow]

I feel bad for this game. It's been over 12 years since the game was announced, and now that it's finally being released, it's gets poor reviews. I'm still going to play this game...when I can get it cheap. I plan on buying Alice: Madness Returns tomorrow.

 

[joebthegreat]

It isn't humor that simply appeals to immature little brats. It's humor that appeals to people who are secure enough with their maturity to be able to laugh at ridiculous "childish" jokes. Quit being insecure. Quit talking about how you're totally older than the little brats who would laugh at this stuff. If you're so damn sophisticated go watch "Yes Minister" and play Europa Universalis. If you're so damn sophisticated this game shouldn't have even been a blip on your radar.

 

[00slash00]

i knew this game wouldnt have the same appeal it once did. ya know why i thought duke 3d was so great? its because i was 13 when i played it. duke nukem has not changed, you have. and for the better. it would be pretty fuckin sad if you were in your mid 20s and found duke as funny and appealing as you did when you were going through puberty. i think everyone pretty much knew that this game would be relying completely on nostalgia

 

[bombadilillo]

I will never understand why so many people are buying this knowing full well its a modernized turd. Sends the wrong message to the developers to put out crap like this.

Im sure they thought...Well lets just put out whatever we have because people will buy this crap just because its been so long.

And you are proving them right. Go buy 3-6 indie games instead that are worthy.

I didn't wait 12 years for nothing. It may be a bad game, but it's probably entertaining too. Reviewers usually compare games to the other games of the generation, and then give them an appropriate score based off of that, not how entertained they were. Surely it's more fun than fishing, I've played the demo. Besides, there have been both bad and positive reviews on several sites. This is probably one of those games you grow up to either hate or love.

"I'm not 12 so this game sucks"
Do we really need to act our age all the time? Being adults we are expected to act our age all the time, at work, in public, ect... Acting anything other then as an adult is frowned upon so really... a game that does not take its self seriously and allows you to toss shit at the wall, get drunk and burp and slap wall tits just because you can really lets you just have a small amount of fun time that you can not normally do because... its just not mature to do.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Why does everyone have to be an adult all the time? Do some wacky and dumb shit, live a little!

Did you read the review? It was bad because of broken almost unplayable mechanics. Not dumb but fun! Nobodies bitching thats its bad because its not mature. Thats a strawman outa left field. Im against releasing a shit game with a known ip attached and people buy it. Why crap games get made.

 

[SteewpidZombie]

"Hey Duke Nukem!"

Duke:"Ya?"

"Can you spell...BARGAIN BIN?"

Duke: "Yes I can...M..Y...G..A..M..E!"

 

[JDB15]

Ehh, I'll rent it off Gamefly once it's available and judge for myself.
It's not really that this is all the work that lasted for the entire 12 yrs. This is the product of at least 2 years of development from the new studio since 3D Realms is no more.

The king is dead! Long live the king!

Long live the king!

*BFD:
-Long live the king!
-Yeah, long live the king!
-Stop repeating me!
-I'm not, I'm repeating him.*

 

[L337CAT]

Women are being tortured while being hung upside-down naked and the game gives the player the option to just kill them? This FPS is not being crass and crude. Bulletstorm was being crass and crude. This is just exploitative. And I don't say any of this as an individual who fancies himself a highly-moral intellectual. I actually wasn't bothered by the games premise of having Duke save Earth's women because they had been abducted by aliens. I just accepted it as part of the protagonists nature as a parody of 1980s style, macho, action heroes. I probably shouldn't be so surprised, but I just did not expect it to cross that line.

Sorry about that rant. As for the actual game? It looks like a messy piece of shit that expects us to excuse it for being a messy piece of shit because of nostalgia and its reputation for being in development for over a decade. I will do no such thing, but I mean no ill will towards anyone who does.

 

[TheDist]

It has indeed got many issues, one thing I can comment on is the multiplayer. It basicaly would not have made the reviewer here score higher, actualy I feel he'd have lowered the score if he sat and played it honestly.

Basicaly whoever grabs the devastator first, wins, is how it goes down from my experience. It just feels very much shoehorned in (given the games history is expected lets face it), with poor map design, weapon balance and nothing new as far as game modes. Basicaly if you are looking for a great fps multiplayer experience just don't waste your money here. (though this is clearly only my opinion)

 

[Zenn3k]

Still gonna buy it, haters gonna hate.