Friends Zone (AKA why aren't we doing this?)

[DracoSuave]

To be honest, I've never seen anyone escape the Friend Zone, I wouldn't mind seeing some stories of people here if they have.

I beat the friend zone. She was one of my closest friends, and I was rather infatuated. It wasn't mutual, so I squished it down and turned it into a more brotherly affection.
Then, shit went down between some of our other friends, one of whom demanded that everyone had to pick a side ("if you're not for me your against me" style scenario). I chose one side, and she chose the other, which tore me up, since the people she chose demanded she couldn't be friends with those I chose.
Few moths down the line, and her people are getting more and more crazy, suddenly hating on random people, and turning towards some nasty walks of life (smoking, heavy drinking, drugs). She gets away while she can, and comes back to be my friend again.
I can only assume that the period of separation allowed the 'friends-only' effect to die back, but that the inherent attraction remains. But I don't pretend to know everything.

Best of a bad situation, I like it.

I'll admit I've been in the FZ quite a few times, and I've beaten it a couple. But it wasn't through any effort or anything.

If you're trying to break through the friend zone, it won't work. If you're trying to make something happen where nothing is... it won't work.

Instead... I stopped caring about it. Once I accepted that it was a FZ, and moved on to other, more likely attractions... it stopped being a FZ, and became just friends. Natural-like.

And once it became natural-like... well... things happened. But it wasn't from trying to make it happen. It was just a happy little thing that occured when I wasn't looking. Taoist path of least resistance shit and all that.

In the FZ? Accept it and look elsewhere. Move along, friend, move along. The best way to actually make things happen, is to NOT try to make anything happen. Do not want, for desire leads to suffering. Om.

Now, the friend-zone doesn't bother me. Because... hey. Sometimes shit doesn't work. Whatever. But... girls know other girls. Opportunities continue to knock. That's the way of the world.


PS: SL33t, your avatar makes me want to play FM3 now. DAMNITALL

 

[Zulnam]

Nobody should cry about the FZ, because if you got there, it's your own fault. There are ways to escape it; long, complicated, ways, but before trying that ask yourself truthfully if you are ready to risk your friendship instead of just look for other girls.


Also, to all the ladies that posted here: There is no such thing as a man who wants only sex from a woman, only a woman who has nothing but sex to offer. The people in the FZ clearly wanted more than just "touch me down there". I'm not saying they act properly, I'm saying that their judgement is clouded BECAUSE they want more than sex.

 

[gussy1z]

This is kind of what iv noticed about the FZ. I think people tend to know if they fancy someone pretty quickly, and who you fall for doesn't always make any sense (you might not always like the nicest or most reliable person etc). If its been a couple of weeks without things getting a bit flirty, then welcome to the friend zone.

basically act quick and let the girl know your interested. The FZ thing sucks, i have literally been lead on for years.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

To be honest, I've never seen anyone escape the Friend Zone, I wouldn't mind seeing some stories of people here if they have.

I beat the friend zone. She was one of my closest friends, and I was rather infatuated. It wasn't mutual, so I squished it down and turned it into a more brotherly affection.
Then, shit went down between some of our other friends, one of whom demanded that everyone had to pick a side ("if you're not for me your against me" style scenario). I chose one side, and she chose the other, which tore me up, since the people she chose demanded she couldn't be friends with those I chose.
Few moths down the line, and her people are getting more and more crazy, suddenly hating on random people, and turning towards some nasty walks of life (smoking, heavy drinking, drugs). She gets away while she can, and comes back to be my friend again.
I can only assume that the period of separation allowed the 'friends-only' effect to die back, but that the inherent attraction remains. But I don't pretend to know everything.

Best of a bad situation, I like it.

I'll admit I've been in the FZ quite a few times, and I've beaten it a couple. But it wasn't through any effort or anything.

If you're trying to break through the friend zone, it won't work. If you're trying to make something happen where nothing is... it won't work.

Instead... I stopped caring about it. Once I accepted that it was a FZ, and moved on to other, more likely attractions... it stopped being a FZ, and became just friends. Natural-like.

And once it became natural-like... well... things happened. But it wasn't from trying to make it happen. It was just a happy little thing that occured when I wasn't looking. Taoist path of least resistance shit and all that.

In the FZ? Accept it and look elsewhere. Move along, friend, move along. The best way to actually make things happen, is to NOT try to make anything happen. Do not want, for desire leads to suffering. Om.

Now, the friend-zone doesn't bother me. Because... hey. Sometimes shit doesn't work. Whatever. But... girls know other girls. Opportunities continue to knock. That's the way of the world.


PS: SL33t, your avatar makes me want to play FM3 now. DAMNITALL

That's some real deep stuff there, man. Useful too.

Also, FM3 is on the PSN store, I believe. Go buy it, you can't resist Dennis', Ryogo's and Linny's smiles.

 

[Guffe]

i laugh a little when guys act like only women do this anyway best just friend line
i got was you are more of a wife type you know i can take you home to meet my mom and i ain`t looking for that
me;so you want a ho.
dude: kind of

Damn I laughed!!!
Well at least he was honest?!

I got nothing for the topic thou -.-

 

[Stilkon]

One time I asked a girl out who said she wasn't "ready for a relationship", and would make a "terrible girlfriend". I suppose that was a fair enough excuse.

A few months later, I find out she's a lesbian.

 

[DracoSuave]

Also, FM3 is on the PSN store, I believe. Go buy it, you can't resist Dennis', Ryogo's and Linny's smiles.

Already got it a while back. Just starting it up now. On an Emma playthrough. Cause need moar moneymaker.

 

[Amyler]

Look, stop blaming women just because you never had the courage to ask the girl out in the first place.

This, this, one thousand bloody times, this. Two years ago I was a passive little sissy, dropping luckwarm hints and actually saying nothing. I bitched about the friend zone all the time to other people but never bothered to actually ask her out. Know what happened when I did? She said no! Why? Because she had gotten to know me as a friend and wanted me to stay as a friend? How does the story end? We're still friends and hang out a fair bit. It's fun.

The point is, if you fancy someone, don't pin after them for months, being a slight creep and never actually asking them out, because it will backfire! If you want to go out with someone, it's okay to ask them to go out with you!

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Also, FM3 is on the PSN store, I believe. Go buy it, you can't resist Dennis', Ryogo's and Linny's smiles.

Already got it a while back. Just starting it up now. On an Emma playthrough. Cause need moar moneymaker.

That, and putting Dennis in the Hoshun at the end of the game; turning him from the weakest party member you have, to the strongest person in the game.

 

[Burs]

NOT A FZ SOB STORY!

A couple of years ago I broke up with a girl and got relegated in the FZ (we were friends before hand and promised that going out wont stop that), after that I said something stupid and I didnt talk to her for about 6 months initially out of frustration and then fear of rebuke. I came to the realisation then that my life was empty without this little punky girl no matter how we were together. so I made a bit of chat with her and now we are the best of friends with no "other feelings" from either of us.

In truth fellow men and boys, If you find a girl awesome and she puts you in the FZ and means it, be proud that she wants you as a friend and remember that BF's are temporary usually but friendship can last forever.

The best FZ out down a (differant) girl said to me was: "WARNING YOU ARE ENTERNG THE FRIENDZONE, LOWER YOUR WEAPON AND PREPARE FOR HUGGING" through a paper cone we both giggled and cuddled and again we remained friends although it is turning into a FB relationship now though :/

 

[Redout9122]

I do not fucking get women.

Women don't even understand themselves, what makes you think you're going to do better than her?

 

[Thundero13]

Hah, gay guys don't toy around with stuff like that, when I told him how I felt he just said No, we stopped talking for a while due to awkwardness and now we're friends again and my crush on him is (mostly) over

 

[Kenko]

My favorite? (Keep in mind I usually say this after I have tried repeatedly with the girl I'm talking to)

"I'm never going to find a girlfriend."
"That's not true. You're nice, kind, you have a good head on your shoulders, you listen. You have lots of redeeming features."
"And yet..."
The girl usually stops talking after that because she'll catch herself on what she's about to say: "You're not my type." And no, that hasn't been from one girl. I get that from nearly every girl I ever ask out just for lunch.

Yeah that fuckin line is evil as it translates into "I like you, but im just gonna make up some nice things about you to sweeten the part where I reject you." Next time I hear that, that ***** has whatever beverage im holding coming her way. Since I don't drink coffee, enjoy the tea *****!

 

[oktalist]

"You have lots of redeeming features."

redeem
1. Compensate for the faults or bad aspects of (something): "a disappointing debate redeemed by an outstanding speech".
2. Do something that compensates for poor past performance or behavior.

"Redeeming features" suggests there is one or more major fault in need of redemption. Good one!

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Eh, I've always felt that complaints about the "friend zone" were just people trying to avoid thinking too hard about why women chose someone else. If she doesn't see you that way, then she doesn't see you that way, no reason to make a fuss about it.

This. Sometimes, taking things at face value is the best way to deal with it. If you overthink things, chances are that you'll only end up upsetting yourself.

 

[Michael Hirst]

I've been friendzoned before and the best thing is to just forget about it and look elsewhere. Also girls do not want a white knight, they SAY they do but it's very rare that that actually want a wholesome nice guy especially when they're teenagers. That said they don't want someone who is a total bad boy who goes racing around in a car and does drugs etc There is a fine balance whereby the girl needs a sense of wonder about the guy as well as a feeling of security, if you're always there for the girl and being friendly with her of course she's going to think you're just a friend.

With some confidence and the ability to make the girl feel wanted/special you'll find yourself able to get the girl more often, whether or not things work out is another matter entirelly.

 

[Palademon]

One of the last things a female friend of mine said to me after an IM chat we had after my long attempts to go out with her was:

Her: I think I love you
Her: Like a brother, you know.

SAFDGAREHAEDTRTJSTRYSEHYWSYHEYT!!!!

 

[Baldry]

Fucking friend zone. It's one of the few things I hate in this universe. I think one of the girls said I was to much like a brother and my last relationship was an open one and she stopped it because it was getting to serious and there are others that I can't be bothered talking about and one I'd rather not.

 

[CaptainTrilby]

One of the last things a female friend of mine said to me after an IM chat we had after my long attempts to go out with her was:

Her: I think I love you
Her: Like a brother, you know.

SAFDGAREHAEDTRTJSTRYSEHYWSYHEYT!!!!

That is without a doubt, the sentence that basically anchors you in the Friend Zone for all eternity. That happened to me, I was REALLY good friends with this girl that I liked, I had no idea what was going on with her flirting and other such shenanigans so I finally got up the courage and asked what our relationship was about. I was told I was the brother she never had...

Spoiler: Rage in 3..2..1

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'm sorry, but we can't force ourselves to like you in that way. We can't help out feelings and I'm sure there's been/will be times when a girl fancies you and you won't felt the same.
I know a few guys who are so in love with their friends they don't focus on finding a girl for themselves, or girls that like them are put off because they keep banging on about the friends they fancy.
Just put yourself first for a change and find a girl you like, she'll want you to be happy.

Also, I'd say your quite lucky to be friend zoned, at least she wants you in her life. Unless of course you want what happened to me at school, when I fancied someone in the year above I tried befriending him but he didn't want to be seen with someone as vile and ugly as me so he went the other way and got all his friends to bully me for a while.