KingsGambit said:
Why was it so bloody dark the whole time?
Because this is The Long Night. Okay, so it wasn't longer than any other night. Maybe even a little shorter. In fact, that's probably it, they had to fit all the darkness of a regular Long Night into a Short Night, and this is what you get. It's kind of like Miller Lite, tastes great less filling?
Why did the Dothraki charge by themselves first, instead of letting artillery go first?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w34cr1HmHHI
What happened to Ghost (he was right there in the charge, completely forgotten thereafter)?
A dire wolf is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to. GHOST IS GANDALF CONFIRMED GET HYPE
No, seriously, Ghost isn't Gandalf. Gandalf is actually Magneto, and Magneto is Nightcrawler's father. Nightcrawler can teleport, and so can Ghost. Ergo, Ghost is actually Gandalf's puppy. Have fun with the mental image of Ian McKellen fucking a dog.
Why was the army standing IN FRONT of the defences?
They let Jaime plan the defenses.
WTF was Bran doing the whole time he was warging?
Watching Endgame.
Why did Theon charge the NK by himself? Was he a total moron?
To experience the pleasure of penetrating something one last time.
How did Jorah teleport to Dany through an army of wights?
He rode Ghost, duh.
Was the entire Azor Ahai prophecy pointless/smoke and mirrors?
No, it was a mistranslation the entire time. What it really said was Azor Hot Pie. What you didn't see was the first wolf-bread he made, he mixed the dough with water, and it wasn't actually very good. The second wolf-bread he made, he made with the blood of a Lannister, and while it wasn't very good it was better. The last pie he served Arya? he killed and butchered his wife, and used her meat for it, thereby granting Ayra the powers of Lightbringer.
That's why you cannot give up on the gravy.
Why did an 11 year old girl think she was a battlefield commander and warrior? How was a dying 11 year old girl strong enough to kill a giant? WhoTF made a suit of platemail in child-size?
The same person who made Joffrey's Babby's First Platemail, duh.
WTF was the whole library sequence about? I genuinely have no idea why that scene was there.
To make Metal Gear memes, that's why.
WTF were Clegane & Melisandre doing from after Arya runs off to the end?
Preparing for Cleganebowl GET HYPE
What was Davos doing the whole time?
Oh come on, he explained this all the way back in season five. He was shitting.
How did no one with a name-tag die in the crypts?
Name tags don't exist in Westeros, now you're just being silly.
How did Brienne, Jamie and Tormund survive unscathed against such ludicrous numbers?
So they can have a threesome later.
WhyTF did Jon think he could beat an undead dragon by shouting at it?
He was using Dragonrend to keep Viserion from helping the Night King, okay?
What did Arya jump off in an empty clearing?
Remember when I said Bran was warging to go watch Endgame? I was just kidding. He actually warged into a bunch of ravens, and they picked up and flew Arya by the scruff of the neck and flew her to the Godswood. Kinda like a medieval air strike.