Generally Accepted Gaming Facts

[deus-ex-machina]

Currency can take any form, but there will be no tax, because everyone seems to have their own vault or bottomless pockets. It is the equivilent of benefit fraud, unless the government no longer exists or you are just TOO rebel.

If you have played Pikmin and do not resent any creature which managed to kill any of your pikmin - you have no soul.

Amongst the plebians, you are not a gamer if you do not play Halo or Call of Duty. Therefore, you are a ***** if you cannot play it to a certain standard.

Where there be zombies, there will probably be a zombie behind you, even if you just looked over your shoulder a second ago and saw nothing.

Usually when your game lags to load for a moment during gameplay, that zombie just appeared out of thin air to help you fill your man nappy.

The ability to hear 'orbs' talk in Fable 3 will always be tedious.

You will never be the '1' in '1 vs 100' on XBox Live. Not sure if they cancelled it, which would only confirm my point, but I thought it was about as likely as winning the lottery.

If it is online, playing against you and it has a high pitched voice, it should die.

 

[Mister Benoit]

-You will NEVER catch 'em all

If you don't count all the games, back in the day when that phrase was first started, I had all 151, from legitimate catching and trading. So, at one time, I had caught'em all.

Same.. in 1999 on Pokemon Blue.. Then when I went to a track and field meet at another school someone went through my bag and stole my Green GBC, Pokemon Blue and LoZ: Link's Awakening. Though they did take the batteries out of my GBC and leave them in my bag >.>

 

[deus-ex-machina]

-You will NEVER catch 'em all

If you don't count all the games, back in the day when that phrase was first started, I had all 151, from legitimate catching and trading. So, at one time, I had caught'em all.

Same.. in 1999 on Pokemon Blue.. Then when I went to a track and field meet at another school someone went through my bag and stole my Green GBC, Pokemon Blue and LoZ: Link's Awakening. Though they did take the batteries out of my GBC and leave them in my bag >.>

Probably had their own rechargable battery pack. Obviously a pre-meditated crime.

 

[badgersprite]

if you are good at a multiplayer game and tell your friend that you are good when you play together you will be crap.

In addendum, one of the "novices" at any video game gathering will always either win or come second to "that guy". That guy who obsesses over the game, plays it constantly and has unlocked everything beforehand.

 

[xdom125x]

The average person has the ability to hold several thousand pounds of gold coins on thier person without any physical burden on their bodies.

This can lead to needing a bigger wallet though. Somehow that helps.

 

[ramboondiea]

if at anypoint, you are forced to do a task or quest by someone of the opposite gender, before the games done youll be in love and do it anyway,

if the music crescendos in a game you will flail round in panic, even if nothings there,

pokemon games are fun, but there the exact same every time, stop pretending there not.

man are built like shitbrick houses, women are petite, skinny and well endowed.

just because its pitched as a horror game, doesnt mean it will be scary

 

[Sonic Doctor]

-You will NEVER catch 'em all

If you don't count all the games, back in the day when that phrase was first started, I had all 151, from legitimate catching and trading. So, at one time, I had caught'em all.

Same.. in 1999 on Pokemon Blue.. Then when I went to a track and field meet at another school someone went through my bag and stole my Green GBC, Pokemon Blue and LoZ: Link's Awakening. Though they did take the batteries out of my GBC and leave them in my bag >.>

Put that under bizarre things some criminals do. Why even bother with the batteries. I bet he was like, "Batteries are expensive, it would be just wrong to take the batteries."

 

[Infernai]

Sonic Team Makes games by smacking their heads against a keyboard until something resembling an unplayable mess is made.

The Sonic Fanbase is on par with Twilight for being the dumbest and unpleasable fanbase in the known universe who will try to tear off the head of anyone who so much as disagree's with them on whether or not Shadow is a good character or not

*shifty eyes* .... *hides under cardboard box*

 

[thedeathscythe]

ALWAYS double knife crates in Resident Evil 4 and 5. You won't be able to react fast enough if you wait until you for sure see a snake, so just double knife them at all times, and yes, get into this habit at the very start of the game, even though you know there are no snakes for quite a while.

 

[Marsell]

The Water Temple is equivalent to receiving a colonoscopy from Edward Scissorhands

I suggest the MM alternitive.

sewer levels always suck
movie games always suck

Postal, best movie to go off a game.

 

[pyrosaw]

Mario will never die.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

Red stuff, especially barrels, explode.
Hospitals, sewers, and dungeons are usually always scary.
If there is a long, poorly lit hallway, with no signs of any life around, you know something will appear.

 

[Wondermint13]

Nintendo will never make anything new.

I like that one! And I somewhat believe it.

Oh L and R triggers will always be the first things to screw up on a controler.

 

[Kurt Horsting]

For fighting games:
The scrubbiest/dumbest/worst player will be the one always complaining about the fairness/difficulty of execution/quality of the game/depth of the game they don't even understand.

The bigger a character is, the more likely they are to have command throw (sentinel is an exception).

Women have less health, unless everyone has the same amount of health. (A.B.A, Justice, and Makoto are exceptions).

Lasers > fireballs.

With the exception of Marvel vs Capcom 2, Tier < skill. And Tier =/= a substitute for skill Period.

Being in a bad match-up doesn't not excuse your loss. Especially if you don't try to learn it.

Thats good for now.

 

[GeneticallyModifiedDucks]

1. Move character with left analog stick/WASD.
2. Move camera with right analog stick/mouse.
3. Everything Atlus touches turns to gold.

 

[Xanadu84]

Barrels are everywhere, in every setting, in every location you can imagine. Well over half of the barrel industry devotes all of its materials to holding not just flammable material, but explosive material. Explosive material that is ready to explode the moment, or a few moments after, impact with a bullet. These barrels, by law, must be placed in locations where they will destroy infrastructure, or maximize damage to whatever security force or hostile population is present in the location, or otherwise strewn randomly around the location.

Alternatively, for a less in universe law, players live killing things with exploding barrels, and will enjoy exploding barrels regardless of the games setting, tone, or sense of realism.

 

[stvncpr236]

In any fps you will always pick up your enemies weapons at the first given chance.

 

[eggy32]

Characters are way better in cutscenes than at any point in gameplay.

 

[MrJKapowey]

In any fps you will always pick up your enemies weapons at the first given chance.

And the US military doesn't care that you shiny new M4A1 with EOTech Holographic sight and M203 is gone. In return you give them an AK47.

 

[stvncpr236]

In any fps you will always pick up your enemies weapons at the first given chance.

And the US military doesn't care that you shiny new M4A1 with EOTech Holographic sight and M203 is gone. In return you give them an AK47.

On a related note your (Insert Military Organisation Here) Never seems to care how much property damage you cause.