Generally Accepted Gaming Facts

[HeySeansOnline]

No matter how good the rest of the game and it's AI is, the escort missions target will always be a moron who gets him/herself killed at every possible oppurtunity.

No matter how awesome a weapon in an RPG is, there will always be one better than it in the next dungeon, the infinity plus one sword is exempt from this rule.

When confronted with frustration or anger over a level, your first instinct will be to chuck your fifty dollar controller at the wall rather than take a breath or count to ten.

The computer is a fucking bastard and will always cheat in order to win.

 

[Anchupom]

Not being hideous means you're on the good side.
Movie games are terrible.
Your father-figure/trusted friend will try to kill you.
If you find a strange substance lying on the ground, drinking it will make you better.

 

[Anchupom]

Oh L and R triggers will always be the first things to screw up on a controler.

Strangely, I have a controller that disproves that rule.
My left analouge stick well... stuck. Then the entire controller shorted out about a minute later.

 

[Purplefood1]

You will always use all of your grenades to get pass a section really quickly and then have no grenades for the section where you have to charge a machine gun position.

 

[th3xile]

You will always avoid water like the plague unless it is obvious you are able to swim.
Oppositely, you will always jump into the lava/fire to see what damage it will cause.

 

[AdmanUK]

There will never be a good 3D pokemon game.

Nintendo fans will buy anything Nintendo makes.

Capcom will always see the need to add at least one incredibly annoying game mechanic to it's games.

Luigi is better than Mario.

Fable games will never be good.

Sorry dude but Aside from the living pile of shit that was Fable two, you are completely wrong about the Fable games. Fable and Fable III were absolutely awesome.

 

[K4ndY]

1- If there is a creepy castle to be found, it's a safe bet that it probably belongs to your Arch Nemesis and will be crawling with his henchmen.
2- If you fight a skeleton and it crumbles into a pile of bones, it will always, ALWAYS, get back together again.
3- No NPC will ever question your God Given right to carry around a ridiculous amount of weapons on you.

 

[Dragonforce525]

Sorry dude but Aside from the living pile of shit that was Fable two, you are completely wrong about the Fable games. Fable and Fable III were absolutely awesome.

Fable was ok I guess, it wasn't awful but nothing spectacular, Fable 2 was a hype sandwich with hype spread and a tall glass of boring story and boring jobs/missions/NPCs for dessert, Fable 3 I found lessened the hype a tad, even if the creepiness of Peter's "Touch" speeches made me miss the hype speeches, the story was alot better but the weapons/customization/interactions/ and that fucking room made the whole experience a chore.

 

[noble cookie]

Most games based on movies suck, if there is an exception, I haven't found it.

Most players on Halo or CoD are annoying assholes that have stupid gamertags (Not hating I love both games)

Somehow no one gets tired of Mario or Zelda, including me.

 

[irani_che]

QTEs or combos or rapid parkour races suck immensely if your computer lags for that crucial 0.2seconds.

Any character who is likeable, respectable, or helps you is either there as a narrator and will betray you or need saving or get killed in a cutscene or you will be offered the opportunity to betray them

you always end up with a glut of shit you dont use when collecting stuff.
you will have a rare ammo type which you plan on saving for the big bosses but never end up using

left joystick move right joystick camera, is he gonna jump? well then space bar or the button on the bottom (x or a)

doing the immoral choice always ends in a depressing cutscene

If a game is good, prepare for cosplay and sequels to be crapped out like afterbirth.

if its a nazi or russian or has any sort of tan, kill it

 

[irani_che]

your pockets CAN carry 8 different guns, each for its own special situation.

if its a big capitalist company of any sort, it is evil, NO EXCEPTONS

 

[irani_che]

killing someone with a knife is always funny
if you a killed by a mele weapon then prepare for ur avatar to be teabagged

 

[Minky_man]

At some point all FPS gamers will unload a whole Assault Rifle clip into a dead enemy in a fit of Pwnage.

If the NPC can die, you will save, kill them then reload.

If an NPC is somewhere you can't go, you will always attempt to jump up to it and fail

XBL will be always be filled with children, PSN will always be empty and PC gamers will brag their superiority at spending money in any and all debates.

In fighting games, you could survive fireballs, roundhouse kicks to the face, being slammed to the floor again and again but eventually die to a couched low kick.

In FPS Multiplayer, the best weapon in the game will be known as the n00b weapon.

The lock is always jammed or broken, even in well kept houses

If there is a large percentage bar at the top right corner of the screen, you will stop at nothing to see it hit 100%

Taunting in action games either does nothing or raises a special gauge when used in front of enemies.

Characters never think to drop and roll when set on fire.

No one in a game world will question why there is a box of Molatov Cocktails in a military base.

Molatov Cocktails will magaically light themselves when thrown.

 

[irani_che]

if there is a stealthy invisible killer, he must give some sign that he is there, either a haze or some sort of noise, just ti make it fair

jumping on bullets kills them

 

[tigermilk]

Headshots while playing online directly effect your mothers sex life (which ever end of the bullet you are on).

Every COD game inexplicably will have at least one overpowered weapon.

Games from previous generations of consoles are often best not revisited.

If an FPS has yearly sequels its deemed a sellout. If it doesn't Valve need to pull their fucking finger out.

 

[Con Carne]

Water levels in any game (especially Zelda) suck balls.
Red is for health, Blue is for mana.
Games based on movies are 99% of the time god awful...sadly Movies that are based on games have the same track record.
Quick time events, although "quick" are horrible ideas and should be completely obliterated.
If you're a female protagonist, the skimpier your armor is, the better its DR.
If a game gives you something you don't already have, it's usually a wise idea to keep it for a bit before selling it off. It'll probably be used for the next stage/boss.

 

[serenityzero]

Generally accepted yet entirely incorrect (or I am a freak of nature): few girls play video games. Fewer girls play violent video games. No girls play FPS games.

 

[spinFX]

I love the sheer amount of opinion in this thread. Only a few people deliver real facts.

 

[Harrowdown]

I realise I won't be the first to say this one, and I expect, even condone the immediate flaming of myself for sinking so low, but...

The one objective fact of gaming: The cake is a lie.

Needed to be said.

 

[irani_che]

whereever you are, if you see food you eat it

mooching enough free food in a warzone or post apocalypitc area and it will undo all the damage you received from being shot repeatedly.

NPCs have a terrible memory from between one game and its prequels