Generally Accepted Gaming Facts

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zehydra

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Oct 25, 2009
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1. Whether people like it or not, Halo has made enough money to warrant it's popularity.
2. Some of the best RPGs you'll ever play will be Bioware RPGs.
3. Gabe Newell ate HL2E3.

The first two statemets are not facts; they're opinions. What I mean is, they're statements about how things ought to be perceived.
 

GeorgW

ALL GLORY TO ME!
Aug 27, 2010
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There's always a save point before a boss.
Almost every RPG have chests.
 

chromewarriorXIII

The One with the Cake
Oct 17, 2008
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Macabre9037 said:
IamQ said:
Red barrels explode.
Unless you are in Saints Row, in which case the white ones do.
Or if you're in Borderlands, in which case they all explode.

If you're in a racing game, you are invincible and no matter how bad the crash, you will be able to keep driving.
 

Professor James

Elite Member
Aug 5, 2010
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this is not exclusively for games, but it still a pretty good fact:

the more liked something is, the more hate it gets.
 

Yan Hunt

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Oct 23, 2010
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despite killing everything or everyone you've ever met, you'll still have to do what the city guard says.

Even when your sword can cut through a dragon in a single blow, you'll still need to find a key to get through that flimsy wooden door.

Anyone with more than two dialogue options is a love intrest

even though they were carrying them, guards never actually drink the health potions they have with them.

no matter how often you change clips, you'll never have to actually load any bullets into a magazine or sort through all the half spent ones you've ejected to find a full one. there are only 4 calibres of bullet in the world: pistol/smg, rifle, sniper rifle and shotgun shell. all the armies of the world adhere to these strict classes and make all their weapons interchangable.

in fantasy games no one minds sleeping outside, although nowadays thats called being homeless - and we all know how cold and sucky that is.

no equipment will clatter, or fall out, get tangled up if you attempt some stupid acrobatics. anyone who has done any re-enactment/larp will know just climbing over a fallen tree will instantly cause all your arrows to leap out of your quiver and on to the ground just where you need to put your feet. No equipment will rust, float away, go soggy, or rot no matter how often you go swimming. On a similar note cloaks and robes, and long coats are a ***** to fight in. a simple bramble bush would defeat most people in a cloak. oh yeah, and in games you can swim in a cloak, and not just drown.

a chest high wall is impervious to all harm and is utterly unclimbable. in a game no-one ever just brings a rope.

in games, any problem is either utterly insurmountable or capable of being solved by going to far away places and doing stupid shit for random people.

if there's a perfectly good postal service, why have i got to go all the way there to hand in some crap, ask advice, receive my reward etc.

no matter that an earth-like planet might have a land surface of 150,000,000 km2 (earth does) you'll always land right next to the quest start, find a person/object from orbit, and find it only has a maximum of 8 shops no matter how many people live there.

Lastly, no matter how weak and pitiful an NPC is, you can never just kill them and take the reward they offered you instead of doing their innane bloody quest.
 

natster43

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Jul 10, 2009
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Nighthief said:
Timed underwater stealth escort missions will always be the worst.
Can you tell me what game has that in it? I am curious.
OT: You will be ridiculed for what ever preference you have in weapons/items/armors/abilities by at least one person who disagrees with your choices.
 
Sep 13, 2009
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EverydayHeretic said:
Left is almost always the correct direction to travel.

That one item you really need will only drop when you've stopped thinking/caring about it.

It's still going to be about 10 years before people realize that clever art direction is more valuable than pretty graphics.
Amen to that last one.

-Small, plot important objects lying on the ground ALWAYS sparkle.
-Whenever someone tries to reboot a series you loved you will always be disappointed (I'm looking at you Phantasy star universe)
-If there's an ugly/negative character in any JRPG they are evil.
 

wildpeaks

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
Dec 25, 2008
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EverydayHeretic said:
-Small, plot important objects lying on the ground ALWAYS sparkle.
Not always: the first Bioshock had an option to turn this off and there is no glow at all in You are empty [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Oyct4mOR_w] (yes I know that game kinda sucks, but I very much enjoyed it nonetheless :) )
 

wildpeaks

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
Dec 25, 2008
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rokkolpo said:
*Checkpoint* means Fuck YOU!

Always.
Also, they are 90% of the time right before an unskippable cutscene and a frakking hard boss sequence that you will fail at least 10 times.
 

DeathWing007

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Jan 10, 2011
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Everyone on multi-player is Black, Jewish, and/or homosexual, but with more...colourful ways of calling them that.

Anyone who loses are considered n00bs and says the winning team are haxz0rz.

Winning team are haxz0rz along with being Black, Jewish and/or homosexual.

These are well known Gaming Facts =)
 

tigermilk

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Sep 4, 2010
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I am a noob because:

If you like very highly polished graphics you are a noob and are incapable of appreciatting, or even having an opinion on gameplay mechanics.

If you don't acknowledge Half Life 2 as a highpoint of civilisation you are a noob who wouldn't know a good game if it kicked you up the arse.

If you don't hate Justin Beiber (pretty indifferent) you are a noob.

Scripts for computer games are pretty much never strong enough to justify an unskippable cut scene.

If you only buy about one game a month you are a noob, it has nothing to do with funding your Masters Degree by working full time only leaving enough free time to play about one game a month.
 

Recron

Professional Procrastinator
Jun 10, 2010
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I got some more for ya:
In any given JRPG where an enemy will join your party, Defeat means friendship and your friendship is anti power and will cause any enemy who joins you to loose at least 2 digits of all of their stats.

Yahtzee's word is LAW
the AVGN's word is also LAW, infact pretty much every popular game reviewer/crittic's word is LAW and anyone who thinks otherwise is Betraying the LAW

If you don't like X game or have Y console, you are not a true gamer

and Nintendo never does anything new and the fact that they are the first of the 3 main console makers to take the risk of putting their focus on motion controls and and introducing touch screen gaming and 3D gaming on a hand held console means nothing.
 

Tonythion

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Aug 28, 2010
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BlastedTheWorm said:
The Halo community don't deserve Bungie.
D:...I...I think I deserve Bungie...I'm not a little douche bag asking for achievements and I don't try to shove Halo down CoD fans throats...I...iz sad you say this ....

OT: NPCs are either the stupidest things around or they are stronger than you since they never die even when they stand there being eaten by zombies....
 

BlackStar42

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Jan 23, 2010
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If Valve Time and normal time ever converge, the world will be rewarded with cake.

Followed by death.