How do you react to being hit on/checked out?

[blazeykins]

Well, I'm really dense(I mean REALLY dense), so I wouldn't notice. I didn't even notice my last girlfriend liked me until she kissed me.. even though in retrospect it was really obvious..

So I wouldn't even notice... But if I did, I'd try and fail to flirt with said girl or get really shy and avoid eye contact/try to flee.

 

[Evil Moo]

Due to a complete lack of self esteem I would either not notice at all, notice but rationalise it as something that doesn't imply someone thinks I'm attractive, or if it is somewhat unambiguous I would either ignore it completely or actively point out that the one doing the checking must be delusional, insane, or possibly harbouring an ulterior motive masked by their actions.

In any case I would probably just try to avoid the situation and make as little of it as I could should it arise.

 

[Gone Rampant]

I'm kinda sheepish about it, since as I'm asexual, I have to explain such. Also, I'm the kind of guy who sets himself down in every way, shape and form after some... pretty fucked up bullying. Which means that I tend to think I'm being set up for a trap of some sort whenever people pay attention to me.

 

[CAPTCHA]

There's only one right answer: take in in my stride, compliment her back, talk for a bit, then walk home feeling boss.

 

[Slayer_2]

Ever seen a deer in the headlights? Yeah, that's like me, except less responsive.

Jokes aside, I honestly can say I'm either too clueless (and I generally am about these things), or too ugly for such a thing to have ever been noticed, or happened. I prefer to think the first one, hahaha.

 

[Asuka Soryu]

I don't really check people out and I am quite assured that people don't check me out. I've lost interest in looking at people anyway, so I tend to not focus on anyone going by.

 

[tabristhegreat]

It's a matter of the person/their persistence. I've been with my current partner for 4 and a half years occasionally guys hit on me or him when we go out usually I laugh it off or I'll turn to him and say something like "see other people still think I'm pretty, watch out" doesn't really matter who it is that's my standard reaction i think it's a nice way of saying thanks but I'm not on the market.

I only get annoyed if that fails and they keep going. I was out one night and this guy just would not stop hitting on me whenever my partner walked away. I told him flat out to leave me alone as he was now being disrespectful to me and my partner. I generally try to avoid getting annoyed about it (even if I don't find the person attracted it's always nice to know someone thinks I'm attractive) but if they cross a line I will let them know.

 

[CleverCover]

Have I noticed it? Because there is a high chance I would never even notice someone checking me out unless the person eventually came up to me. More often than not, friends and family tell me after the moment is gone that "You know that guy was checking you out?"

If I did notice it, I'd flip between happy/swooning and suspicious/doubting, unless it's an old dude and I'm just annoyed.

 

[Unia]

As someone who used to be bullied and referred to simply as the ugly one, I tend to assume ulterior motives first.
If I notice at all that is, which usually is not the case.

In highschool there was this one guy with a stutter(sp?).
Being polite and not wanting to make him more awkward I never brought up his speech impediment. Then after he had moved
to another county a friend mentioned he only ever stuttered around me. Couldn't bring that up sooner, could you? :/
In general people who know me have rolled their eyes more than once at how oblivious to flirt I can be.

Then there were a few overt cases where I was too stunned to act cool. Like when some Indian tourist asked me on a date in a bookstore. While I was with my mother, no less.

Or when the African immigrant who lives in the same building approached me and started immediately talking about marriage and kids. Well there's ulteriour motives, duh. Also seriously, WHO DOES THAT?!

Guess I'm doomed to be the girl subtle guys think isn't interested in anyone ever, so I'm left with the...not subtle ones.

 

[Jux]

A lady friend of mine -that is, friend who is female- once told me I'm her most attractive male friend and has at different times stated I have a nice rear. At the time I was kind of flattered, if not confused since, well, they're not 'into' me, really. When people do compliment my form, I usually accept it as flattering. Then again, the only people who ever hit on me are usually much older than me and mistakenly think I'm much older so... sometimes it's scary...

Nothing wrong getting with a woman older than you. Last one I was with had 20 years on me. Overall, it was pretty awesome.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I can only remember being hit on twice in my life. One was when I was 14 by a middle aged man (I was creeped out, but tried to be polite) and the other was on my graduating class' year end trip (I pretty much shrunk and slowly crept behind the nearest friend, but still tried to be polite).

 

[Insanely Asinine]

I tend to be unobservant on being hit on. I usually can't see the signs until I have time to ponder the day.

 

[cthulhuspawn82]

I have the opposite problem, and I am sure many guys here will relate. I get the "weirdo" stares. You know, where a girl stares at you like you're Charles Manson. I don't know how to avoid it. I do my best to dress and act normal yet they keep looking over like they're afraid I am going to follow them to the parking lot and rape them. And its not like I am leering at them, I have no interest, I just catch it out of the corner of my eye.

I don't mean to be insulting, but this being a "gamer" site, I know there are a lot of guys here that illicit the same response. We really should start a petition to let women know how cruel they are being and how uncomfortable they are making us.

 

[Rellik San]

I run the whole gamut (downside of working with a drunk public), usually I'll have a laugh about it, (hey, hey, eyes up here, or something similar) but sometimes it does get creepy, really really really creepy... for which I normally get the message across by running away shrieking: "I NEED AN ADULT!"

But in truth typically it's rare I get hit on, as I definitely fall into the "unconventionally attractive" type... also probably doesn't help I live in a town mired by racist d-bags and it's often commented upon that I look Greek, Polish, Pakistani and Italian, it of course affects my chances, well that and having two brain cells to rub together too.

Generally speaking, I'm the one doing the hitting on and usually playing it up for laughs.

 

[Xaio30]

I don't always react to being hit on/checked out, but when I do It's the next day and all my chances are gone.

 

[themind]

... depends if my wife is with me or not. j/k

 

[Lynx]

Depends on how it's done! I quite enjoy being checked out, it's especially flattering when I'm not even dressed up and have no makeup on.

If, however, they're sleazy or grabby (like people can be in nightclubs), I'll walk away. But I'm still polite about it, even if they're not. I would certainly never snort or roll my eyes at anyone, that's just bad manners.

 

[FunnyBunny]

...and that's pretty much the worst thing you can be when trying to impress the ladies. They hate shorties.

Um, objection? Your ladies shouldn't be called ladies then.

 

[Simple Bluff]

...and that's pretty much the worst thing you can be when trying to impress the ladies. They hate shorties.

Um, objection? Your ladies shouldn't be called ladies then.

Well. Coming from a (I daresay) lady herself, I should take your word over my own preconceptions, no? Being the fool with so much to learn that I am.

But seriously, you're exactly right of course. And thanks.

 

[gazumped]

Ahhh, I try really hard not to check people out, even when I'm single, 'cause I know it freaks some people out and I feel bad about it. *checks pulse*

When I'm hit on, well, it depends on my mood and of course the manner of the, uh, hitting.
I mean, a couple of times I've been hit on when I've been feeling particularly shy/anxious and I reacted by panicking, flailing my arms around and making largely incomprehensible screeches involving something along the lines of 'I can't do this... I don't do this...' (one guy, bless him, went 'okay, okay!' and backed down immediately. Another one made some comment about how I couldn't take a compliment. o_o )

But when I'm not being half insane (which is the vast majority of the time) and the person's respectful (which is about 10% of the time) I smile, thank them and make my excuses (because I just don't date strangers. Gotta know a person rather well before romance is on the table.)

When they're, uh, a 'creeper', I ignore them, don't break my stride or look up if I'm walking in the street, or if I'm sitting on public transport or something I start making ugly yawn faces or picking my nose to ensure that I don't seem bothered or vulnerable.

I see the word creeper coming up. What do you define as a creeper hitting on you?

No one seemed to take this one so I will. I think (and people can correct me on this if not) most people mean 'creeper' as in a person who is disrespectful about their advances on you. This can range between:
A person leering at you or making suggestive gestures across the train car (these people are basically going out of their way to intimidate you)
Someone making a comment so forward that it's clear that they're only interested in rubbing their genitalia on you and/or feel entitled to it (see ShiningAmber's 'Hey Beautiful, are you single?' guy on the bottom of page 5 but this also includes someone saying something along the lines of 'Nice arse!' Or ass, if you're American. )
Someone who won't take 'no' for an answer (I had a guy 'test' me one time to prove that I really had a boyfriend, what the heck was he going to do if it turned out I didn't?)
Someone approaching you aggressively (some guys have thought a good way to get my attention is to thrust their face in front of mine and yell at me)
Someone feeling or stroking you without your consent. This can be any part of the body (I got a guy stroke my inner thigh as he sat down beside me as he got on the train once. Couldn't ward that off with funny faces so I did actually have a word with him about that, to his credit he seemed genuinely apologetic like it hadn't even occurred to him that women might be unhappy about their legs being stroked by strange men) but if it's somewhere like your boobs or your junk then of course at that point it starts moving from 'creepy' to 'sexual assault' (although a lot of that other stuff can fall under 'sexual harassment').