In My Defense...

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, It's really cold!

You locked me in a freezer!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, I was trying to preserve you until we can be immortal!

You made me watch that film! *shudders*

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, that was our wedding video!

You stabbed me in the kidney!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, I was trying to drain the fluid in your thorax and you wouldn't stop moving!

You taped Batman & Robin over our wedding video!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, Satan got drunk and did it, not me!

You blame me for everything!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, it was really your fault this time!

It was your fault!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I'm not perfect!

You tried to turn me plastic!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, that will keep your skin from wrinkling.


You hit me!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, you surprised me!

You surprised me!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, it was your birthday!

You didn't get me a present for Christmas!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I was saving up to get you a super-present for your Birthday!

You forgot I existed!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, metaphysics states you don't.

You tied a bull to the back of a jeep!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, you disappeared for months, and I had to surgically remove my amygdala to forget about the pain.

You disappeared for months!

In my defence, how else was I supposed to take it home?

You broke into my house!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, I'm a ninja.

You're too slow!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, I'm on a wheelchair.

You made fun of my disability!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, it's fun to push you down stairs. *push*

You forgot to apply the hand break!

 

[Ren3004]

In my defence, my brakes were cut!

You cut my brakes!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, it's fun to-- wait I already said that. *push*

You grew an extra head! Then cut it off!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

In my defense, I was trying out a new look!

You yelled at me!

 

[Ren3004]

IN MY DEFENCE, I TURNED IT UP TO 11!


You broke my heart.