Is the question, "Are you gay?" offensive?
- Thread starter CrimsonBlaze
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It's all about context. If you use it as an insult of course I'm going to be offended. If you're just asking an honest question then I'll provide you with an honest answer.
The question, "Are you Gay?" is only offensive if it's bad to answer yes. Let me ask you this, original poster, Is it bad to be gay?
I wouldn't take it as something offensive; in fact, I'd be more amused than anything. Any issue would come from how and when it was asked.
I can't think of many ways that the question can be brought up as a casual part of conversation, but it would definitely cause a lot more awkward tension if it was just blurted out around judgmental family members. A person would be more likely to take offense in that instance because either that's what would be expected of them or because it had such horrible timing. Having it be asked as 'just between friends', as a point of simple curiosity, and not too big a deal made out of whatever the answer is, then it's less likely to cause a disaster.
I can't think of many ways that the question can be brought up as a casual part of conversation, but it would definitely cause a lot more awkward tension if it was just blurted out around judgmental family members. A person would be more likely to take offense in that instance because either that's what would be expected of them or because it had such horrible timing. Having it be asked as 'just between friends', as a point of simple curiosity, and not too big a deal made out of whatever the answer is, then it's less likely to cause a disaster.
People who find the question "Are you gay" offensive really betray themselves here. Because the only reason it would be offensive is if you think it is some how a bad thing to be gay. A lot of people think I am gay, and I have never once been offended by being asked, because, why should I care if people think I am gay?
No, it's not offensive. But it's about as subtle as knocking on a door by hitting it with your car. The question itself is more likely to get insecure folks up in arms if they aren't gay. As with most delicate topics, the way you say it is more important than what you say.
I find it's more effective to ask "Are you straight or gay?", and I usually slip it in during a conversation that's actually about sexual orientation instead of just popping it out of the blue. I am aware that there are other orientations, but if someone happens to be bi or pansexual or asexual they're going to understand what I'm asking.
If you're not sure about someone, and you really care enough about the answer, ask. Assuming one way or the other can make things kind of awkward. Some people might take offense to it, but that doesn't make it "offensive". It's a perfectly legitimate question to ask.
I find it's more effective to ask "Are you straight or gay?", and I usually slip it in during a conversation that's actually about sexual orientation instead of just popping it out of the blue. I am aware that there are other orientations, but if someone happens to be bi or pansexual or asexual they're going to understand what I'm asking.
If you're not sure about someone, and you really care enough about the answer, ask. Assuming one way or the other can make things kind of awkward. Some people might take offense to it, but that doesn't make it "offensive". It's a perfectly legitimate question to ask.
Been asked "are you gay?" twice in my life and both times I found the question amusing rather than offensive. If either of the people asking had been looking to pass judgement on my answer then I may have felt differently, but both times they were just curious and the question was harmless. One of the enquirers was actually quite sheepish when I said I was not gay, assuming I would be offended by the question.
First off, this thread would've benefited from a poll. Just sayin'.
Second off, of course it isn't. That's ridiculious. It's not offensive to say "are you straight," is it? No? So it goes the other way! I can see absolutely no reason why it would be offensive.
Second off, of course it isn't. That's ridiculious. It's not offensive to say "are you straight," is it? No? So it goes the other way! I can see absolutely no reason why it would be offensive.
Most of the gay guys I know would rather you just ask than having you awkwardly step around the topic whenever you're around them. I'm not sure if thats true for everyone, though.
Pretty much this.Jodah said:
It's probably like asking if they have some kind of mental disorder. If they have one, they'd answer honestly and probably be fine. If they don't, they could be insulted because you're implying they act like it.
For straight people, it can be like you're saying they act homosexual and some probably wouldn't like that.
It could be phrased better, it is quite a personal question and it depends on how it asked so yes it can be offensive or at the very least invasive.
