yeah, i'd agree.Gralian said:
when my friends ask if i'm gay, i dont get offended unless thats how they mean it.
Is the question, "Are you gay?" offensive?
- Thread starter CrimsonBlaze
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when my friends ask if i'm gay, i dont get offended unless thats how they mean it.
let me quote a guy from my class when he saw that i was checking some back views of girls, exact quote:
"wait, you're not gay?!"
for 4 years apparently i was(or maybe still being) rumored to be gay... i think saying the question like this IS offensive.
oh and best part they think that because i haven't got a girlfriend yet.
"wait, you're not gay?!"
for 4 years apparently i was(or maybe still being) rumored to be gay... i think saying the question like this IS offensive.
oh and best part they think that because i haven't got a girlfriend yet.
It matters more how you say it than the question itself. But if politely asked I think it's perfectly legitimate especially if we're to say we live in a society that tolerates homosexuality. Obviously just dropping the quesiton out of nowhere is rather rude just like asking if someone is a virgin or something.
Unless you have a vested interest in the person's sexuality (for example, you are interested in dating them, or MAYBE if you're thinking of trying to set them up on a date), then the question's inappropriate. Why does it matter? If you're asking because they exhibit stereotypical traits (such as the liking Glee example from above), shame on you for thinking that there should be such a thing as stereotypical gender traits.
If you're already dating them, you should have your answer already - and being bisexual is a valid response too. Sexuality isn't an on/of switch, and someone can be attracted both to you and to the opposite sex. A better question to ask might be, "Are you attracted to me?" If their sexual preference is an issue, they have an opening to bring it up.
If you're already dating them, you should have your answer already - and being bisexual is a valid response too. Sexuality isn't an on/of switch, and someone can be attracted both to you and to the opposite sex. A better question to ask might be, "Are you attracted to me?" If their sexual preference is an issue, they have an opening to bring it up.
Depends on the situation and the tone I think. If it's an honest question then it's not, if it's said with disdain then it is.
It's all about context. If you use it as an insult of course I'm going to be offended. If you're just asking an honest question then I'll provide you with an honest answer.
The question, "Are you Gay?" is only offensive if it's bad to answer yes. Let me ask you this, original poster, Is it bad to be gay?
I wouldn't take it as something offensive; in fact, I'd be more amused than anything. Any issue would come from how and when it was asked.
I can't think of many ways that the question can be brought up as a casual part of conversation, but it would definitely cause a lot more awkward tension if it was just blurted out around judgmental family members. A person would be more likely to take offense in that instance because either that's what would be expected of them or because it had such horrible timing. Having it be asked as 'just between friends', as a point of simple curiosity, and not too big a deal made out of whatever the answer is, then it's less likely to cause a disaster.
I can't think of many ways that the question can be brought up as a casual part of conversation, but it would definitely cause a lot more awkward tension if it was just blurted out around judgmental family members. A person would be more likely to take offense in that instance because either that's what would be expected of them or because it had such horrible timing. Having it be asked as 'just between friends', as a point of simple curiosity, and not too big a deal made out of whatever the answer is, then it's less likely to cause a disaster.
People who find the question "Are you gay" offensive really betray themselves here. Because the only reason it would be offensive is if you think it is some how a bad thing to be gay. A lot of people think I am gay, and I have never once been offended by being asked, because, why should I care if people think I am gay?
No, it's not offensive. But it's about as subtle as knocking on a door by hitting it with your car. The question itself is more likely to get insecure folks up in arms if they aren't gay. As with most delicate topics, the way you say it is more important than what you say.
I find it's more effective to ask "Are you straight or gay?", and I usually slip it in during a conversation that's actually about sexual orientation instead of just popping it out of the blue. I am aware that there are other orientations, but if someone happens to be bi or pansexual or asexual they're going to understand what I'm asking.
If you're not sure about someone, and you really care enough about the answer, ask. Assuming one way or the other can make things kind of awkward. Some people might take offense to it, but that doesn't make it "offensive". It's a perfectly legitimate question to ask.
I find it's more effective to ask "Are you straight or gay?", and I usually slip it in during a conversation that's actually about sexual orientation instead of just popping it out of the blue. I am aware that there are other orientations, but if someone happens to be bi or pansexual or asexual they're going to understand what I'm asking.
If you're not sure about someone, and you really care enough about the answer, ask. Assuming one way or the other can make things kind of awkward. Some people might take offense to it, but that doesn't make it "offensive". It's a perfectly legitimate question to ask.