is this romantic or creepy?

[Blitzwarp]

Yeah man, doing that in front of the other people will just make everyone involved uncomfortable. There's a time and place for everything, you know? Band practice is not one of them.

I agree. It possibly might embarrass her as much as it embarrasses you if it goes wrong. You need to just tell her how you feel straight to her face - after all, if she really despised you, she wouldn't have let you into her band at all, even if you are the only drummer she knows. Besides, if you can't even ask her on a date or express your feelings for her, this may cause communications issues somewhere down the line. Girls are people too. Just suck it up and tell her.

 

[Krantos]

"Is this Romantic or Creepy?"

The answer to that question is always creepy.

Writing a song for your S.O. can be romantic or cheesy depending on the quality. Writing a song for someone who does not yet know how you feel... Creepy. Ask her on a date first.

 

[Random berk]

Seems like a decent idea to me, as long as the song is upbeat and says that you quite like her, rather than howling your undying love for her. That would be creepy. As for the band vs solo performance though, I don't know. On the one hand, the other escapists who are presumably in bands seem to think it'd be bad for your band, but if you are the drummer then unless you happen to be a good all-round musician I don't see how you can perform it alone.

 

[Hectix777]

So theres this girl I like. She wanted to start a band and I'm the only drummer she knows, because of that I'm in the band and I also was asked to write a song because I also happen to be good at that.
I then wrote a song describing my feelings for her, I would like to ask the people of the escapist if it would be wierd if I suggest we play that song during the next band meeting.

I didn't go so far as to use her name in the song, but everyone who sees the lyrics will figure it out.

so should I give her the song or not?

edit: nobody has yet to see the song so I don't have to bring it up if it's a bad idea

and the band is only starting to form really. right now it's just her on guitar, me on drums and possibly one of my friends on bass. if this doesn't work than it won't really disrupt the band.

DAMMIT SON, yo' a musician not an idyot! Ya make it aloof, to where only she can understand it! GODDAYMN SONE!

 

[MasterChief892039]

So theres this girl I like. She wanted to start a band and I'm the only drummer she knows, because of that I'm in the band and I also was asked to write a song because I also happen to be good at that.
I then wrote a song describing my feelings for her, I would like to ask the people of the escapist if it would be wierd if I suggest we play that song during the next band meeting.

I didn't go so far as to use her name in the song, but everyone who sees the lyrics will figure it out.

so should I give her the song or not?

edit: nobody has yet to see the song so I don't have to bring it up if it's a bad idea

and the band is only starting to form really. right now it's just her on guitar, me on drums and possibly one of my friends on bass. if this doesn't work than it won't really disrupt the band.

I think a point that a lot of people are missing (perhaps because they're all male) is that being on the receiving side of a song, whether you like the person or not, is incredibly awkward because you don't know what to do while the person is playing the song. Especially if you do it in front of a bunch of people, suddenly there's a bunch of attention on her and she just has to stand there for about 3 minutes feeling uncomfortable. It's the same thing for reciting poetry too - do you look the person in the eye? Are you supposed to smile? Are you supposed to fake a "I-think-this-is-super-profound-and-deep" face?

The song itself isn't necessarily creepy, unless you're writing creepy lyrics. I suggest that you ask her out in person first, save the song, and if things are going well then you should record it and give it to her to listen to on her own. Then she won't have to worry about whether she's giving you the right reaction and she can just enjoy the song.

 

[GeorgW]

Just ask her out. If she doesn't find that creepy, then that's great. But if she does, then your chances are blown before you even have a chance. Take the safe option and just tell her.

 

[Liiizard]

I'd say that you give her the lyric sheet and ask her what she thinks. If she asks any questions about it, tell her the truth, though maybe tone it down a bit, ie. change "love" to "like" to avoid freaking her out.

 

[Dieter Meyer]

How about not preforming the song but just walk up to her and say "Hey... I wrote this song for you/about you" - and then proceed to tell her how you feel etc.etc.etc.... Maybe she'll find the song romantic and suggest you sing it i the band?

That way the song you wrote wont go to waist, and no privacy lines are broken!

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

This is insane. You're a drummer! Those lyrics couldn't possibly be any good! Go hit something.

Ehem.

Well...

Burn the lyrics, foget you ever wrote them. If not creepy, it will come off as sad and desperate and possibly weird even if you were actually going out with her. Just write something awesome and hope she likes it, rather than running away.

 

[TheDarkestDerp]

In band romances are disasters for bands, find something else to hit.

Bingo. Last three times a few girlfriends and I have tried to put this group together, two or more of us fucked around, and then we blew up and spiraled apart.

If you like her, tell her, be up front and forthright, not dancing around the issue, sweet as the song is. She will be much more responsive to your openness and honesty, then you can give her the song for her group and be romantic as well. Just don't be in the group, duder. Trust me on this.

 

[MikeBrownYo]

I should elaborate. I know at first it's hard to go up to a girl and be like "Yo, I dig you. Wanna hang out sometime?" or whatever. But it's not going to get easier as you get older, so you may as well confront it now and move past it rather than be a lonely 40-something who didn't have the balls to approach any girls growing up.

The exact situation I'll be in in about 16 years time then...

I'm gonna side with all those saying just broach the subject normally, but then I'm really not someone who should be giving advice on this sort of thing.

I don't want to get too off topic here, but what is it about girls that makes them difficult to approach for you?

I was TERRIFIED of girls until I was like 14, and now I just go for it. Sometimes things worked out, sometimes they blew up in my face. All in all, I don't regret chasing any of them.

 

[mega48man]

ask if you wanna go out sometime like a normal person. writing a song isn't creepy, it's sweet, but sure is beating around the bush. trust me, i've learned from my first, don't waste any time being friends if you love her, just tell her.

 

[Black Phoenix]

I should elaborate. I know at first it's hard to go up to a girl and be like "Yo, I dig you. Wanna hang out sometime?" or whatever. But it's not going to get easier as you get older, so you may as well confront it now and move past it rather than be a lonely 40-something who didn't have the balls to approach any girls growing up.

The exact situation I'll be in in about 16 years time then...

I'm gonna side with all those saying just broach the subject normally, but then I'm really not someone who should be giving advice on this sort of thing.

I don't want to get too off topic here, but what is it about girls that makes them difficult to approach for you?

I was TERRIFIED of girls until I was like 14, and now I just go for it. Sometimes things worked out, sometimes they blew up in my face. All in all, I don't regret chasing any of them.

Total lack of self confidence coupled with a very negative view of myself (so basically, self esteem issues). Basically it's the same reasons I suck at socialising in general, even on the internet.

My current record is two false starts, both of which turned into disasters in less than a month each (the biggest problem there being not the fact I was rejected, but what I did to myself mentally afterwards), and another girl I really liked that I used to work with for a few years who I never had the courage to ask out, though given one of the lads she went out with, twice, I'm not convinced it would have worked out anyway.

 

[Risingblade]

Creepy AND awkward

 

[Sacman]

Sure it could be romantic... but you better damn well make sure that song is perfect...

 

[Master Kuja]

Rewrite it in the style of Fish (look him up, ex Marillion) and tell noone who its about. See how long it'll take for her to notice.

Fish is god, go with this.

---

Alternatively, just be up front about it and ditch the song, seriously, unless your life is some kind of cheesy romantic comedy then this plan will not work and will just come off as creepy.

 

[That Greek Guy]

give the song and be different.
If she is interested she will appreciate it

 

[Ambi]

Flirt with her a bit, get to know her well, make sure she likes you first, then show her.

 

[Angerwing]

As a general rule of thumb:

"If you're in doubt, it's most likely creepy"

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was going to say. If you have to ask, the answer is "creepy".

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Give her the song, but don't suggest you play it. Let her here it and see it, and be honest with her if she asks you if it's about her.

Whatever happens you don't want to have her realise as it's being played.

It's not creepy, it's not exactly romantic either, but it's definitely not creepy. Creppy would be performing it for her or with her without her knowledge of it beforehand.