Make a Great Game Sound Boring

GeneralSeasick

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Feb 3, 2011
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Bioshock: So you're a dude who goes Underwater....and you save little girls.

GTA IV: So you're this guy who comes to a city on a boat and moves in with his cousin. You can eat Hot Dogs and watch TV.

Assassin's Creed: Revelations: So you're this Italian guy who takes control of this other Italian guy who takes control of a Third Italian guy, but two of the Italian guys wear cool robes.

Minecraft: So you get wood, then go find some metal, then get some bricks, then build a fort and hide from green things for the entire game.

World of Warcraft: So you're this guy, but you can also be an Elf or a Cow person or some shit, then you go hit things until you don't get anything as a reward for hitting things. Then you make another guy and do it all over again.

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Brawndo

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Jun 29, 2010
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I want to take credit for inspiring this thread :D

My personal issues with Skyrim's combat still stand though.
 

hwarang

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Oct 12, 2009
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Metal Gear Solid - the best game of 1998:

Crawl through an absurdly huge grey facility actively avoiding as many conflicts as possible.
 

SenorNemo

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Mar 14, 2011
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Touhou games: You're some lazy girl who moves forward and shoots and moves a little left or right so people will stop bugging her. (Alternatively: You're some tomboy who moves forward and shoots and moves a little left or right so she can borrow stuff and never return it).
 

ThrobbingEgo

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Nov 17, 2008
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Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup: You are in a dank, dirty basement looking for this magic ball that's allegedly at the bottom. You will never get the magic ball. You just can't have it.

Dwarf Fortress: The games' controls are about as complex and intuitive as a mensa brainteaser. If you mismanage the number of cats, everyone will die. Everyone will die.

Half-Life 2: The highlight of the game is a gun that lets you pick up garbage. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

DEFCON: You have a map. You can occasionally hear people coughing. You can slow down the games speed so slow that nothing seems to happen.
 

mcattack92

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Feb 2, 2011
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World of Warcraft: Beat things with a stick till it dies, get xp, rinse and repeat.
Grand Theft Auto 4: Drive around going on dates with your Cousin.
 

Yopaz

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Jun 3, 2009
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Tales of Symphonia. Fight racism and discrimination.
Need For Speed. You get to drive on roads far from any city all alone for huge chunks of time.
Super Mario bros. Walk right and time some jumps until you get to a flagpole.
 

bz316

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Feb 10, 2010
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Mass Effect: You're a human soldier tasked with saving the galaxy from an ancient evil...yet again. le sigh...
 

Scrustle

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Apr 30, 2011
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Any racing game: go as fast as you can until the game tells you to stop.

I love racing games but I admit that's pretty much what they all boil down to when you think about it. All genres do the same. Like all in shooters all you have to do is press a button after correctly guiding a cross over the screen or else you won't be able to continue.
 

tseroff

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Jun 8, 2009
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Windwaker: Voyage of the Dawn Treader with less character development. And less action.

FIFA and Madden: Play football. No, really. If you don't actually want to play football, you still can!
 

Weealzabob

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Jun 4, 2011
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Wind Waker. Sail across the sea for minutes at a time, kill random easy monsters, and then go to 16 agonizingly precise spots scattered across the world to progress.

Goldeneye (N64). Walk around levels and point in the general direction of people and autoaim will kill them all.

Batman: Arkham Asylum. Play as a slow moving billionaire who only needs the square button, and build in X-ray vision to succeed against lowlife thugs.
 

xmbts

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LightUpTheHal0

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Apr 15, 2011
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Alan Wake: Point a flashlight at bad guys until they aren't scary at all. Then shoot them.
Far Cry 2: Take a jungle safari with hardly any animals.
COD Black Ops: Do whatever you imaginary friend tells you to do.
Deus Ex Human Revolution: Pick up boxes in new and creative ways.
 

Da Chi

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Sep 6, 2010
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Resident Evil 4 - Only fun if you like shooting Spaniards.

Dance Dance Revolution - Step on Arrow. Repeat

Worms - There are small cartoon worms with accents trying to get rid off worms with different accents.

Goldeneye 64 - Die repeatedly until you manage to pick oddjob.

CoD World at War (Nazi Zombies) - Stop enemies from hitting planks. Replace planks. Repeat

Warioware - Blink and you fail
 

Commander of pie

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Oct 8, 2011
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Team Fortress 2-You kill guys that are not the same color and push a bomb/capture circular metal things or get a briefcase

Oh and stand around for hats and trade them off for metal or hats that are not the same as yours