Make a Great Game Sound Boring

[Proverbial Jon]

Half-Life: You're a physicist and you do sciency stuff without the faintest idea of what you are doing.

That still sounds pretty cool actually!

You play an old man who runs around in a tight suit putting people to sleep.

Metal Gear Solid 4.

That actually sounds more interesting than MGS4 if I'm honest!


OT:

Metro 2033: Wander around an abandoned Russian metro network whilst fighting your biggest enemy, unresponsive controls!

Just Casue 2: Stop some guy from stealing oil, or something...

Mirror's Edge: You're a courier, you run a lot.

Any Assassin's Creed game: You walk really slowly through crowds and pretend to be an average person. Sometimes you might listen in on conversations.

Any Gears of War: Reloading your gun suddenly became something you can be bad at.

Deux Ex Human Revolution: You never asked for this.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: Get an arrow in the knee, stop being an adventurer. (Sorry)

 

[saxxon.de]

Minecraft: Farm endless.
World of Warcraft: Farm endless.

 

[shadyh8er]

-Go underwater, shoot at other dudes (led by a Russian) and get bossed around by an Irishman.

O__O I thought he was Australian!

OT:

Tekken 6: Pick Law, mash buttons.

LA Noir: Talking to people, the game!

God of War: RAAAR! GRAAAR! RIP! TEAR! ORGASM! *end credits*

 

[Proverbial Jon]

-Go underwater, shoot at other dudes (led by a Russian) and get bossed around by an Irishman.

O__O I thought he was Australian!

Lol, nope. Definately Irish.

 

[willis888]

Just watch Yatzee's review of Dragon Age 2.

"A hero piddles around for a while while gobbing off his handsome friend."

But this is coming from someone who enjoys multiplayer FPS, where lack of plot and playing on the same maps is kept interesting because of the combat mechanics. DA2 has the same thing going for it IMO.

 

[Black Arrow Officer]

Hitman: Play dress up and throw coins

 

[Burntpopcarn]

Uncharted 3: Jump around, shoot a guy, repeat.
Gears of war: A bunch of freakishly muscular soldiers with gravelly voices run around and kill a bunch of aliens.
Team Fortress 2: a bunch of morons who are either armed with extremely weak or extremely nooby weapons kill each other for fun.
Black ops: walk five inches and some douchebag quickscopes you.
Mass effect: an extremely boring soldier and his companions "takes deep breath" SAVE THE WORLD.

 

[maninahat]

A failing, office sales team member struggles to close any decent deals. He resorts to stealing one of his more competant team member's clients, and bungles that deal too. It results in his dismissal, along with an incompetant car mechanic. They visit a dam, a lighthouse, and a pretentious jazz club full of smug beatniks. The villain owns the sales company and has an interest in growing flowers. His greatest crime involves not giving clients the package holiday they deserve.

What game?

Pretty sure that's Grim Fandango.

Got it in one.

 

[ChickenZombie]

Battlefield

You get in vehicles, drive around, die. stand next to a flag. That's about it

Batman : Arkham city

You get to be batman....

Actually that second one still sounds awesome.

 

[War Penguin]

Skyrim: Lots of walking. Lots and lots and looots of walking.

 

[GTFOmysteak]

Catherine: While awake, press X next to people. While sleeping, push blocks.

 

[MammothBlade]

Pokemon: Just throw cricket balls at people who are trying to poke you.

 

[Xaio30]

Assassin's Creed: you are a bartender. But, throughout the course of the game, you learn about this bartender's genealogy. The first game is about a Arabic man called Altaïr, who has a dispute with his boss about his own questionable work ethics, and is fired and then rehired at a lower position. He then spends the game trying to get promoted. He tries to please his boss by picking up a shiny ball that his boss wants really, really badly. The climax of the game has Altaïr in another dispute with his boss, this time about his boss's business plan for the future, which results in Altaïr superseding his boss and taking back the shiny ball. The next game involves an Italian man called Ezio, who lost his father and brothers when he was 17. The game revolves around him wandering through Italy and picking fights with people who didn't like the organisation his father worked for. He is aided in his task by a painter, a thief, a philosopher, a prostitute, and his uncle. There are also side quests, wherein Ezio robs the graves of dead people so that he can pick up some clothes that are locked in his basement. He spends a considerable portion of the game trying to have sex with random women, and he spends most of the game in trouble with the police. The game's climax is a punch-up with a fat man in the basement of a church.

You fail, because that sounds awesome!

 

[putowtin]

Assassin's Creed series
You're a roofer (well you must be cause you spend all your time on other peoples roofs!)

 

[Tamrin]

Thought I would try something new here. Make a Great Game Sound Boring In An Exciting Way, But Still Sound Boring.

Beat up people.

That is every single fighting game summed up in three words.

Spoiler

Thanks to new technology you have soo many choices when playing a fighting game.

Option 1: Left punch, Right punch.
Option 2: Right punch, Left punch.
Option 3: Left punch, Left punch.
Option 4: Right punch, Right punch.
Option 5: Dodge punch.
Option 6: Get punched.

The possibilities are endless. Here is what people saying about fighting games;

"Playing my friend I thought he was going to throw a left punch and he threw a right!"

"The AI is challenging. They hit me with a left. Then another!"

"Playing against my brother I threw a right punch and he dodged so I changed tactics and got him with a left!"

"I got punched a lot!"

Fighting games

Puches. WILL. Be. Had.

Tell your friends. Get yours today.

And don't miss out on our next excited game coming this fall were we introduce KICKING.

 

[Moontouched-Moogle]

Half-Life: You're a physicist and you do sciency stuff without the faintest idea of what you are doing.

That still sounds pretty cool actually!

You play an old man who runs around in a tight suit putting people to sleep.

Metal Gear Solid 4.

That actually sounds more interesting than MGS4 if I'm honest!


OT:

Metro 2033: Wander around an abandoned Russian metro network whilst fighting your biggest enemy, unresponsive controls!

Just Casue 2: Stop some guy from stealing oil, or something...

Mirror's Edge: You're a courier, you run a lot.

Any Assassin's Creed game: You walk really slowly through crowds and pretend to be an average person. Sometimes you might listen in on conversations.

Any Gears of War: Reloading your gun suddenly became something you can be bad at.

Deux Ex Human Revolution: You never asked for this.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: Get an arrow in the knee, stop being an adventurer. (Sorry)

I saw what you did there.

 

[Suicida1 Midget]

Pikmin1 and 2-Throw midgets at things 4x your size and pray they die.

Chibi Robo- Clean up a house after a family of fatasses mess it up. O and other robots try to kill you.

Splinter Cell-Hide in the shadows until the gaurds need to jack off.

Gears of War (1,2, and 3.)-Wonder just what the F*UCK is going on.

Halo- Dont touch the hairy blue spiders.

The World Ends With You- Play as an emo kid who hates society.

 

[Skops]

TF2.

If you are red, shoot blue
If you are blue, shoot red

BF3.

Blue means defend.
Red means attack.

 

[Smeggs]

So yeah, this "Dead Island," all you do is run around on a beach and smack zombies with an oar. And then you drink some soda and talk to a guy.

 

[ConstantErasing]

Portal: Make blue and orange circles in order to get from point a to point b.
The World Ends With You: Scribble on tattoos
TF2: Run and shoot endlessly while waiting to get hats.
Fire Emblem games: Move one dude next to another then press a button to watch them take turns hitting each other.
Metroid Prime: All you do is jump, lock on, fire, and roll around.
Pokemon: Enslave helpless little animals (actually that doesn't really sound too boring does it)