Monkey Paw thread

[Shadyside]

Republicans would hate you and they would kick you out.

I wish someone would make an actual good Anarchist Cookbook that would be perfect for todays world. The book just has recipes for making bombs, and that's just not very useful in western surveillance states. It should be about actual crippling state infrastructure like hacking the power grid and cyber attacks in general. Causing rioters to attack key locations so that you can take advantage of the situation.

 

[CM156]

Done, but the anarchists who act on it first are Anarcho-Capitalists

I wish for a new and good Paper Mario game to come out for the Nintendo Switch

 

[Shadyside]

It's only released for a limited time, and you won't be able to get it.

I wish for all of Andrew Yangs policies to be implemented and work properly.

(Btw anarcho capitalists are basically libertarians on steroids imo.)

 

[CM156]

They are unpopular and Yang is overthrown in a coup lead by Donald Trump.

I wish humans were smarter

 

[Mister Mumbler]

Done, but humanity as a whole becomes smug and completely unbearable to be around.

I wish I had more free time.

 

[Kae]

Granted but you get a crippling depression that removes all motivation to do anything during that free.

I wish I was real.

 

[Mister Mumbler]

Granted. You are a very real, but non-sentient, wooden puppet. For some reason you also have whales in your future...

I wish I knew how to play the piano.

 

[CM156]

You know how to play the piano. However, pianos no longer exist.

I wish we had more examples of literature that survived from the ancient world.

 

[Shadyside]

They are banned and never to be seen by the public.

I wish congress would pass a good stimulus bill that people needed a long time ago.

 

[Mister Mumbler]

Granted. It gets passed in 2045.

I wish Arizona would remember that it's not in the Southern Hemisphere and to knock it off with the 90 ° weather in November.

 

[Shadyside]

That causes the final chain reaction for irreversible climate change.

I wish everyone regardless of who they are would be able to enjoy locker room talk without consequences.

 

[Mister Mumbler]

Granted, but everyone becomes so grossed out and uncomfortable around one another that humanity dies out in a couple of generations.

I wish cartoons these days weren't so afraid of shading.

 

[Shadyside]

Cartoons then become over shaded.

I wish we had true free speech where everyone can say anything damaging, destructive, and horrific without consequences.

 

[Tireseas]

In order for this to occur, the machines take over and put everyone in their own little virtual reality where nothing they say can be heard by anybody.

I wish I had the unaging immortal body of a fit cis 25 year-old woman.

 

[CM156]

You get what you ask for. You are kidnapped by the government and used in experiments for several decades before the world is destroyed in an atomic war, leaving you alone for all eternity on a dead rock.

I wish that China becomes an actual democracy

 

[Mister Mumbler]

Granted, but they do democracy American style. Not much changes.

I wish I owned a pool table.

 

[Shadyside]

It doesn't have pool balls.

I wish platforms wouldn't ban or censor anyone.

 

[Kae]

Granted, all platforms are now 99% bots and also most of the few people you can find are trolls spewing nonsense.

I wish there was a way to move my consciousness away from this flesh prison

 

[Shadyside]

You will quickly regret it.

I wish muricans would always riot whenever the government doesn't give them what they want.

 

[Shadyside]

You will quickly regret it.

I wish muricans would always riot whenever the government doesn't give them what they want.

Looks like my wish came true. It just happened with Trump supporters and white supremacists.