WARNING: LONG EMO POST
I wish I had friends who weren't depressed. I have a friend who is bi-polar and clinically depressed and she wants to talk to me about it all the time. I am also depressed - although not as deeply as her - and I can't handle it any more. Especially since she goes in circles, repeating awful things that have happened to her; it feels like she's wallowing in it.
Even though the situations are wholly different, she sometimes makes me feel like my dad did when he'd bring out his bottle of
brännvin and say, "This bottle loves me more than you do. It's my only friend." And I HATE that feeling, that sinking feeling that you can't do anything to make it better, because no matter what you say they will sooner or later twist it into something else or they won't listen at all.
I love her, and she's a good friend, but I'm so
tired.
Then there is my sister-in-law; we have nothing in common with really, but she often wants to spend time with me. She's also depressed btw, but she's working full-time and doing her best to get out of it. But she'll invite me over - usually when my brother is at work - and she'll either space out, complain over how much she misses my brother, tell me the status of their sex life(!), or ask me awkward questions that I either don't want to answer or can't answer. And now she's angry at me because I never call her - I hardly ever call anyone - that I haven't asked her to go swimming with me, and probably some other reason I haven't figured out yet from her pointed comments.
I sometimes avoid answering the phone because I just can't handle her. She can be fun too of course, and I admire her a lot, but she can also drive me crazy!
Both of them live 1 to 5 minutes walking distance away.
I wish I had more friends, friends who's biggest problem on a weekly basis is a hangnail or an irate boss.
I haven't even scratched the surface of what I need to vent, but this is getting too emo for me. Cheers for the opportunity =)