One-line confessions

[The Afrodactyl]

I'm Old Gregg!

You've got a man-gina!

 

[KnowYourOnion]

I ate all your bees...

Cookie for reference.

"JASON CAN HAVE MYYYYY BISCUIT!"
BLACK BOOKS FTW

 

[The_ModeRazor]

So, just a day like any other, right? Playing some minecraft, digging my pretty cool mine. And then I got this tingling sensation in the back of my skull. I went into lol editor, and gave me 255 blocks of lava. The kind that flows like water, that got taken out of the game. And I flooded my entire fucking mine with it. My house too. And everything around it. I had a tower some distance away, climbed to the top, and watched the fiery death flow. It was beautiful.

 

[eggy32]

I ate all your bees...

Cookie for reference.

Dammit, you beat me to it.
Also, Black Books, cookie now

 

[Private Custard]

I once punched a cow in the face when I was drunk. It was advancing relentlessly!

that isn't a confession it is just pure awesomeness!

I didn't knock it out though, it just moo'd at me and stood there. It stopped trying to push me around though!

Hurt my hand......cows have really tough heads!

 

[Geekosaurus]

I once killed a man.

 

[C95J]

I once punched a cow in the face when I was drunk. It was advancing relentlessly!

that isn't a confession it is just pure awesomeness!

I didn't knock it out though, it just moo'd at me and stood there. It stopped trying to push me around though!

Hurt my hand......cows have really tough heads!

I tell you what, next time your in a difficult situation. Just shout "C95J's Avatar" 3 times whilst tapping your feet on the ground and all will be taken care of for you

 

[reddfawks]

I chewed up the ends of all the pens at work. =_=

 

[DaBungalow]

Collapsed in hysterics in front of my best friend when he tearfully told me his girlfriend had passed away the night before.

Why? I still have no fucking clue.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I shot the sherriff.

But I did not shoot the deputy

 

[Private Custard]

I once punched a cow in the face when I was drunk. It was advancing relentlessly!

that isn't a confession it is just pure awesomeness!

I didn't knock it out though, it just moo'd at me and stood there. It stopped trying to push me around though!

Hurt my hand......cows have really tough heads!

I tell you what, next time your in a difficult situation. Just shout "C95J's Avatar" 3 times whilst tapping your feet on the ground and all will be taken care of for you

I'll carve it into my arm with a sharpened bulls horn!

 

[traineesword]

I am the man who arranges the blocks.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, you are so damn awesome!! Russian History via tetris for the win

My confession: I am a masochist which is why... no, is one of the reasons I changed girlfriends ... ¬_¬

 

[C95J]

snip

oh yeah! now your a real man!

 

[sayingmahalo]

Every morning at work, at *precisely* 11:05 am, I switch off the central heating because I know my boss can't stand it when the office is cold. Haven't been caught in over 3 months.

 

[SovietSecrets]

I am addicted to painkillers.

 

[InnerRebellion]

I was phone.

/thread

Aha, I get it.

I'll actually confess something.

My father is, basically, a WoW-bigot. I wanted to play the game, so I had a friend buy it, bring it to my house, I paid him, I waited till I was home alone, installed it on my laptop, hid the icon in a folder and renamed it, and I only go on when I'm sure everyone is asleep. I feel awful.

 

[Icarion (aka Stockholm)]

I like two and a half men.

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

I lied to my therapist about having thoughts of suicide because I wanted to end my therapy sessions as soon as possible.

No, that's not dark humor, I'm serious.

 

[scyrin]

i open the shower curtains every time i go to the bathroom to make sure there are no killers hiding there ><

 

[c0ld3r]

I'm pretty sure the condom had a hole in it.
I knew she was your wife the whole time.
It was lupus.
It wasn't lupus.
She WASN'T dead when I got there...

IN THAT ORDER.