Pick Your "Worthless" Super Power!

[Orekoya]

Small range sound wave control - have private conversation in public places, answer my phone wherever I want, have a fan run in my house without that awful whirring noise, and I can play video games while my roommate watches in same room while not having to hear each others stuff.

Either that or talk to all animals, that could be fun.

 

[Serinanth]

Yep, never ending drinks along with the ability to metabolize alcohol with no ill effects.

 

[jbm1986]

Being the Milk Man:

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

Being so boring and normal that magic, superpowers and super-science can't work around me.

 

[hazabaza1]

I just want the ability to fall asleep at will no matter the time. That'd be sweet.

That would be amazing.
I might actually get a decent night's sleep.

 

[Bigbomb94]

The power to make people grow OLD.

 

[MrMixelPixel]

My power would be... whenever I'm invited to a party, celebration, social gathering, event, etc of any sort; I become the host and get to do all the planning. The original owners still supply the funds for the planning.

 

[Twilight_guy]

You do realize how incredibly useful that superpower would be right? Its teleportation and you would instantly be able to track anyone from any internet connection. Imagine how many hackers and crooks you'd be able to catch by reaching through and putting a GPS on them.

A useless power I want is the ability to make my nails clip themselves (i.e. split off at a certain point at will). its not really useful for superness but its convenient.

 

[TheMadPunter]

My friends and I occasionally brainstorm worthless superpowers. Most of them you'd never want, such as:

*The ability to read someone's mind, but only while they're trash-talking you
(This one raised the clarifying question "do they have to be in your presence?" We determined they do not, meaning you could just be sitting at home and suddenly hear someone's voice in your head, saying how much you suck. Also you can't control it. This would be especially maddening if you were a celebrity.)

*The ability to melt. That's it. You can't resolidify. One-shot deal.

However, one power we came up with that I might actually want is this:

*The ability to fly, but only while having sex

You're welcome.

 

[ChocoFace]

The ability to irreversibly see everyone nude.
Sometimes glorious, but most of the time horrendous.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

The ability to properly season whatever I cook.

 

[Lancer873]

I'd like the ability to command squirrels to do my bidding. I'd have them guard my apartment, and annoy the living hell out of people I don't like.

Oh what's that Steve? Your car keys keep moving to weird places in your apartment?
[small]Muahahahahahahaha[/small]

Spoiler: Squirrels are serious business.

Yes, that is Doctor Doom. Go look up Squirrel Girl.

OT: The ability to lock my focus into one thing until it is done without any possibility of unlocking (aside from dire emergency, but that could be my weakness...). That'd be nice.

 

[Groxnax]

The ability to talk to moths

 

[The White Hunter]

My worthless power would be the ability to give every guy in a room an erection.

Surely you can already do that with just a little effort? XDD

What are you implying my good sir and/or m'am?

Oh just, y'know, stuff and things =p
Imaginaaaaaaation.

BUt seriously it was just open implication, nothing more.

 

[Flutterbrave]

I feel this is relevant.

Spoiler

 

[rayman56]

My worthless power would be the ability to give every guy in a room an erection.

Surely you can already do that with just a little effort? XDD

What are you implying my good sir and/or m'am?

Oh just, y'know, stuff and things =p
Imaginaaaaaaation.

BUt seriously it was just open implication, nothing more.

You think I'm a girl or that I'm gay don't you? I am a straight male, which is why being able to give every guy in a room an erection is useless. Also, I'm 14, which makes what you were probably thinking even creepier.

 

[hoboman29]

My useless power would be to play any video game just by having a copy. This means no more exclusives and no more of my shit computer that can't run anything before the neolithic era. It could be sorta useful...right?

 

[KiloFox]

...Would "Rain manipulation" (Ie, the ability to make it rain/stop raining (with the requisite secondary power of being able to prime conditions to make it rain, but nothing fancier than that)) count for these purposes? I mean on the one hand, it's absolutely worthless for crimefighting. On the other hand, it is VERY useful outside outside of it, especially for areas suffering from drought.

Talking to sea-life!

Can you imagine a superhero whose power is talking to sea life? Hahahahaha how lame would that be!

[small]I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.[/small]

Guess what lives in the sea...

OH GOOD GODS THE AWESOME!

i'd like a polymorph ability. restrictions being i have to keep my biomass constant and i cannot gain extra abilities from shifting (such as mimicking animal abilities) i guess theoretically i could shift biomass to the surface of my skin to harden it into a sort of "armour" or shift mass to muscles to gain strength, so lets add in a "one shift every hour" stipulation making it impossible to use effectively.

captcha: Hulk Smash
captcha... you have mad timing skillz

 

[The White Hunter]

My worthless power would be the ability to give every guy in a room an erection.

Surely you can already do that with just a little effort? XDD

What are you implying my good sir and/or m'am?

Oh just, y'know, stuff and things =p
Imaginaaaaaaation.

BUt seriously it was just open implication, nothing more.

You think I'm a girl or that I'm gay don't you? I am a straight male, which is why being able to give every guy in a room an erection is useless. Also, I'm 14, which makes what you were probably thinking even creepier.

No, in gaming forums I assume white heterosexual teenager. It was a joke, chill out > >

 

[Matthi205]

The ability to make my right foot invisible at will.