Pick Your "Worthless" Super Power!

[SnakeoilSage]

The ability to properly season whatever I cook.

 

[Lancer873]

I'd like the ability to command squirrels to do my bidding. I'd have them guard my apartment, and annoy the living hell out of people I don't like.

Oh what's that Steve? Your car keys keep moving to weird places in your apartment?
[small]Muahahahahahahaha[/small]

Spoiler: Squirrels are serious business.

Yes, that is Doctor Doom. Go look up Squirrel Girl.

OT: The ability to lock my focus into one thing until it is done without any possibility of unlocking (aside from dire emergency, but that could be my weakness...). That'd be nice.

 

[Groxnax]

The ability to talk to moths

 

[The White Hunter]

My worthless power would be the ability to give every guy in a room an erection.

Surely you can already do that with just a little effort? XDD

What are you implying my good sir and/or m'am?

Oh just, y'know, stuff and things =p
Imaginaaaaaaation.

BUt seriously it was just open implication, nothing more.

 

[Flutterbrave]

I feel this is relevant.

Spoiler

 

[rayman56]

My worthless power would be the ability to give every guy in a room an erection.

Surely you can already do that with just a little effort? XDD

What are you implying my good sir and/or m'am?

Oh just, y'know, stuff and things =p
Imaginaaaaaaation.

BUt seriously it was just open implication, nothing more.

You think I'm a girl or that I'm gay don't you? I am a straight male, which is why being able to give every guy in a room an erection is useless. Also, I'm 14, which makes what you were probably thinking even creepier.

 

[hoboman29]

My useless power would be to play any video game just by having a copy. This means no more exclusives and no more of my shit computer that can't run anything before the neolithic era. It could be sorta useful...right?

 

[KiloFox]

...Would "Rain manipulation" (Ie, the ability to make it rain/stop raining (with the requisite secondary power of being able to prime conditions to make it rain, but nothing fancier than that)) count for these purposes? I mean on the one hand, it's absolutely worthless for crimefighting. On the other hand, it is VERY useful outside outside of it, especially for areas suffering from drought.

Talking to sea-life!

Can you imagine a superhero whose power is talking to sea life? Hahahahaha how lame would that be!

[small]I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.[/small]

Guess what lives in the sea...

OH GOOD GODS THE AWESOME!

i'd like a polymorph ability. restrictions being i have to keep my biomass constant and i cannot gain extra abilities from shifting (such as mimicking animal abilities) i guess theoretically i could shift biomass to the surface of my skin to harden it into a sort of "armour" or shift mass to muscles to gain strength, so lets add in a "one shift every hour" stipulation making it impossible to use effectively.

captcha: Hulk Smash
captcha... you have mad timing skillz

 

[The White Hunter]

My worthless power would be the ability to give every guy in a room an erection.

Surely you can already do that with just a little effort? XDD

What are you implying my good sir and/or m'am?

Oh just, y'know, stuff and things =p
Imaginaaaaaaation.

BUt seriously it was just open implication, nothing more.

You think I'm a girl or that I'm gay don't you? I am a straight male, which is why being able to give every guy in a room an erection is useless. Also, I'm 14, which makes what you were probably thinking even creepier.

No, in gaming forums I assume white heterosexual teenager. It was a joke, chill out > >

 

[Matthi205]

The ability to make my right foot invisible at will.

 

[SystemZero]

The ability to read a closed book by staring at the cover, mostly just to weird out my friends and classmates.

 

[DrRockor]

The ability to open mail just by touching it but it only works on stuff addressed to me. I would never need to use a knife to open a parcel ever again.

 

[Vegosiux]

The ability to randomly photobomb people's photos with whatever I happen to be thinking about at the moment.

 

[DeltaEdge]

The ability to make all the dogs and cats within a 5 mile radius piss themselves. It would be very interesting.

 

[Qmonster]

Stir peanut butter with my mind.

 

[Bestival]

The ability that every picture/painting/poster I look at will forever after be slightly askew.

 

[daydreamerdeluxe]

I would have the ability to interpret exactly what mimes are saying.

This cracked me up.


A play on the classic "being able to see the future": ONLY being able to see the future. You would only be able to see where you would be in (half) an hour, thus both leaving you effectively blind and removing all free will, because you can only do things because you've seen yourself already doing it.
Alternately (no clue if this has been mentioned already), but Chrono-Displacement from the Time Traveller's Wife: involuntary time travel, in which you can't take anything either way, so you always arrive naked with no idea where or when you are. It can have positive results (they make a killing on the stock market, and once won the lottery) but the complications have gotta make it appropriate for this thread

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

The ability to point at anybody, concentrate, and give them the most explosive diarrhea of their life.

Imagine walking into a packed stadium, and like Moses, wave your hands through the air as everybody craps their pants.

[sub]Glorious.[/sub]

 

[Oly J]

telekenetic control over milkshake I think, I have no need for a glass, I shall just will it into my mouth, and be very annoying to others around me trying to drink milkshake,

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

The ability to give people a conscious or just at least better one.