Poll: Do you believe the Friend Zone exists?

[Use_Imagination_here]

Love isn't easy. Sometimes you like someone and they don't like you back. Or if you're on the flip side, sometimes someone likes you and you cant like them back, even if you may want to.

We don't get to choose who we love. So in that sense, the friendzone does exist.

But the idea that you're entitled to someones love because you were nice to them is not only selfish but completely ridiculous. People don't choose who they're attracted to, romantically or sexually, so the concept of entitlement really doesn't fit anywhere into the situation.

 

[L. Declis]

And the Omega males, the Bronies and Warhammer nerds and computer geeks? Well, they're the worst. They've long given up on forming a relationship with a female, at least outside of their anime figurines. What losers! What sad specimen resigns himself to celibacy? Point and laugh, people; point and laugh.

And the Omega males, the Bronies and Warhammer nerds and computer geeks?

Warhammer nerds

Warhammer

That's okay, my Dark Eldar, I think you're cool, even if no one else will.

*sniff sniff*

But all the other stuff, hard to disagree with. I'm glad you typed it up though because that was a lot to say.

 

[BoredRolePlayer]

snip

It honestly sounds like the person who was "Friendzoned" has a problem of getting over it. I get rejection is hard, I've been rejected a lot of times in college. But I didn't act like the world was over and held a burning torch for each one, I just moved on with my life. It's not really healthy to let that control you either, you have to hit a point to where you realize it isn't the end of the world. I just don't understand the need to just have your world be controlled by something you don't have control over.

snip

I think it's that a lot of the more vocal people who complain about this seem to think it's their right to get something out of being nice. Which comes off as trying to be mulipultive to get what you want, something my old girlfriend told me a few weeks ago was that she had a hard time believing people would do nice things without something in return (In reference to how I don't like the idea of people feeling they "owe" me something just cause I do something for them). I do get what your saying about the "Omega Nerd" thing, I remember my mother telling me if I ever have a girl in my car that I shouldn't play my J-Rock. I told her, if she can't at least tolerate (not like) my music why should I even bother? I say that because I enjoy music and I don't feel like someone should tell me what I should play in my car when I wouldn't do that to them. Only time I ever suggested something was when asked, outside of that it's driver's choice (Hell I try to be accommodating and make a play list that everyone can enjoy). Hell my apartment is full of different figures (MLP, Disney Infinity, Panty and Stocking, Zelda, Final Fantasy, I plan on adding a Yuki Nagato Figure next month), but it's my apartment and I pay the rent so if the person has issue with that they can walk. I just don't like the idea of having to change everything (I know there has to be some give, both sides have to compromise) about myself to please someone.

 

[Fappy]

"Number of Days since the Last Friend-Zone Thread: 45 0."

It exists in the sense that someone may want to bang a friend who doesn't feel the same way, but that's where the definition ends for me. Using the phrase un-ironically is tacky as fuck.

 

[L. Declis]

The Lady Doth Snip Too Much

Only a Snip Deals in Absolutes

That's my point; the correct thing to do is to get over it, but men are told to both "Man up" but also "Don't give up"; "Get over her" but "Quitters never win"; "If you were going to, you would have" but "Good things come to those who wait"; "Move on" but "If you don't stay friends, you're a bad person".

I am glad I am not a teenager anymore, but men are given a thousand different, conflicting messages and it messes with the head.

 

[BoredRolePlayer]

The Lady Doth Snip Too Much

Only a Snip Deals in Absolutes

That's my point; the correct thing to do is to get over it, but men are told to both "Man up" but also "Don't give up"; "Get over her" but "Quitters never win"; "If you were going to, you would have" but "Good things come to those who wait"; "Move on" but "If you don't stay friends, you're a bad person".

I am glad I am not a teenager anymore, but men are given a thousand different, conflicting messages and it messes with the head.

I think the problem is people take to much stock into what others are telling them then. There is a line between taking advice to form an thought and doing what are told is right. What your saying sounds more like not thinking for yourself.

 

[Adamantium93]

Does it exist? Heck yes, it does, thought I think most people have the wrong of it.

The "Friendzone" isn't "I've been Jane's friend for two years but she's not interested in me."

It's

"I'm not into Jack romantically, but I know he likes me. So, if I flirt with him and make him believe he has a shot at me I can get him to do anything." Basically, all the responsibilities of being in a relationship without any of the wholesome, fulfilling intimacy.

The difference being that in the first situation, Jane simply doesn't want to be in a relationship with Jack. She wants to stay friends. In the second, Jane still doesn't want to be in a relationship with Jack, but she intentionally uses Jack's feelings for her to control him.

And yes, that sort of thing does happen. I've seen girls do it. I've seen guys do it. People are manipulative. People are selfish. Some people are just scared of being alone. I'm not saying that everyone who claims they were "friendzoned" was actually in that sort of situation, nor am I giving any sort of value to the entitled masses who can't take "no" for an answer (which is a different matter entirely), but friendzoning does exist. People do it, and it can seriously screw up someone who is stuck in that sort of situation for a long time.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

SNIP

Utterly perfect response, my hat is off to you (and no, it's not a fedora).

The Lady Doth Snip Too Much

Only a Snip Deals in Absolutes

That's my point; the correct thing to do is to get over it, but men are told to both "Man up" but also "Don't give up"; "Get over her" but "Quitters never win"; "If you were going to, you would have" but "Good things come to those who wait"; "Move on" but "If you don't stay friends, you're a bad person".

I am glad I am not a teenager anymore, but men are given a thousand different, conflicting messages and it messes with the head.

Thanks for pointing this out. I've always found this interesting because I've read lots of stories of very old couples (80s and 90s) who've been married for 60+ years, and often times they jokingly tell about how the man asked the woman out 10 times (or whatever) before she finally agreed to go out with him. It's strange, because we treat this as being adorable and romantic, but if a modern man asked a woman out 10 times, he'd be an obsessive stalking creeper who needs to go away.

 

[Headbiter]

The "friend zone" as a concept of course exists, otherwise we wouldn't be able to have this discussion - which, for the record, wouldn't be a bad thing.

As an actual, tangible thing though, no. It's Bullshit, made up to excuse failure. Because god forbid people nowadays might actually not get what they want. It's the same thing as "heavy bones" for obese people. It's an excuse.

You were rejected in your proposal of a steady, intimate relationship. That's it, no more, no less. You didn't fall into some metaphysical nega-zone that seals away your natural, irrestistable charm, nor does a supernatural force dampen your social skills.

The person of your desire simply doesn't find you interesting/exciting/whatever enough to share his/her bed with you. Might change one day, might never change. But whatever happens, it's between you and said person of interest. There's no such thing as a friend zone that locks you away from your "well-deserved" reward.

So yes, the friend zone as a concept exists but its existance is hollow and apologetic in nature.

 

[Jandau]

Yes, I believe that it is possible for someone to be romantically interested in a person and to have that person only see him or her as a friend. In fact, I don't believe this, I know it, as I've been on both sides of it. I have fallen for girls who enjoyed my company, but didn't feel enough chemistry between us to want anything more than friendship. Some of these acquaintances I terminated, some I maintained.

One of my closest friends is a girl I've had an on-and-off crush for about 15 years, she's an awesome person and I want her in my life, even if it's not to the extent I'd like. She's a loyal friend and while I think we'd make a great couple, I accept she doesn't feel the same and enjoy the relationship we do have.

On the other hand, I've friendzoned several girls over the past decade. Once because I was interested in someone else at the time. Once because it was a girl whose company I enjoyed, but whose lifestyle I didn't entirely agree with and didn't want to be involved with to that extent. Once simply because the girl was very nice and we got along great, but I just didn't feel that spark, just a flatline. These were all girls who I liked hanging out with, but wanted nothing more and didn't want to lead them on or use them for sex, despite their interest. And before some jackhole suggests it, none of them were ugly. It wasn't an issue of physical attractiveness.

All in all, the friendzone exists, simply as an objective fact. However, I do acknowledge that the term has been tainted by frustrated misogynists looking for an excuse for their repeated failures with the opposite sex and as a result I tend to avoid it and most discussions regarding it.

 

[And Man]

"Friend zone" is a fucking stupid term that people need to stop using. If a girl rejects you, then say she rejected you.

 

[Verlander]

Friendzone, as in a person who becomes a friend to another person, with whom they have a romantic interest in, but in that second person's mind has now occupied the position of friend, and is excluded from entering into desired romantic relationship?

Nope. I don't believe it exists.

I believe that the "position of friend" is an excuse, a benevolent one as well - the original person is considered a friend, and the recipient doesn't wish to hurt their feelings. I don't think that "being a friend" is ever a serious reason for rejection.

 

[Nimcha]

It's a social concept, of course it exists. We're talking about it now aren't we? Silly question.

If you want to say you think people in that friendzone are losers you can do so without posing logical fallacies.

 

[jamail77]

It's kind of funny because the way I met my current (and only) girlfriend was thus: She walked up to me on the street outside of a shopping mall and asked 'You wanna fuck?' I told her no. Her response was 'That's okay, I can wait.' and then she grabbed me by the collar and literally dragged me into the mall for a date. And somehow that led to a fulfilling (but still platonic after month and a half) relationship. Somehow.

Huh. That's 1 way to start a relationship. Reminds me of this: For some reason, the clip stops there, but I found another clip with the rest of the scene
How similar would you say the event that began your relationship was on a scale of 1 to 10?

 

[Kopikatsu]

Huh. That's 1 way to start a relationship. Reminds me of this: For some reason, the clip stops there, but I found another clip with the rest of the scene
How similar would you say the event that began your relationship was on a scale of 1 to 10?

The first video, not at all. The second video by itself is pretty much 1 for 1 on what happened. So a 10, I guess.

Kinda makes me weirded out, because now that you brought it up, I realize that it's actually really similar to Eska and Bolin. She even gave me a personalized dog collar to wear. So... eh. I guess the difference is that Bolin was freaked out by it, but I'm pretty content.

Now that I think about, she even has an identical twin brother (although they're both blonde with very pale skin). They couldn't be further apart in personality and they don't hang together at all, so at least I don't have to spend all my time with both of them. That would probably make it awkward.

 

[jamail77]

Kinda makes me weirded out, because now that you brought it up, I realize that it's actually really similar to Eska and Bolin. She even gave me a personalized dog collar to wear. So... eh. I guess the difference is that Bolin was freaked out by it, but I'm pretty content.

Now that I think about, she even has an identical twin brother (although they're both blonde with very pale skin).

0_0
It's that similar? Even a dog collar? Jeez. You aren't...you aren't being physically and mentally abused are you? I mean, that is what Eska was doing to Bolin. You're content, so I guess that is a good sign.

Also, might seem like an intrusive question, but I accidentally clicked on your name and went to your profile. Before I left that page I noticed it says you're female. You sound like you're male though? Mistake when creating your profile?

 

[Wethisco]

I would say it does, kind of, but in this kind of way.

I believe it is possible to have a friendship with someone where, despite would've otherwise been attractive physically and mentally, don't want too due to not wanting to damage a friendship and/or find it weird, the idea of dating them, and more comfortable as friends. (Speaking as a male, I have a female friend I feel this way towards) Though, I think it's much more rare and uncommon and the internet makes it out to be, and that in 99% of the time when people are in the friendzone, she's one or more of the following:
A) not physically attracted
B) not mentally attracted
C) doesn't like being around you or of course
D) feels reserved for someone else.

Speaking from experience, it's a more preferable reality that girls be bitches man, rather than she just didn't desire you.

 

[mrbah]

people may or may not be attacted to you.
you can be friends with almost everyone, but to be in a relationship with someone, two people need to fit together or the relationship will not last, preventing a relationship with someone you are not attracted to or don't fit to is in your best self-interest.