I'm perfectly-
Oh, who am I kidding? It sucks. It really sucks.
...get your minds out of the gutter.
Oh, who am I kidding? It sucks. It really sucks.
...get your minds out of the gutter.
Poll: How Happy Are You Being Single?
- Thread starter Jacco
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i'm in a relationship now... i'm 20 now but we met when i was 19, and he was my first relationship... ever... i'm being serious here... i had honestly no interest in finding a relationship before we met and i was perfectly happy at the time. and looking back on it, if we hadn't ever met, i STILL wouldn't have been interested in a relationship and been perfectly happy. so i think it's a personal thing, buy hypothetically if i suddenly ended up single again... i wouldn't be nearly as happy as i used to be when i was single... so being in a great relationship once will probably screw up being happy alone for me at least.
This. So much this. Especially seeing the one you love among those happy couples.CleverCover said:
I'm NOT exactly unhappy alone, but there are times when I think I'm going insane.
As I said earlier in the thread I'm single and will be staying that way if I have any say in the matter. It makes me kind of sad though to see people that are single that are of the impression that ya can't play a little noncommittal slap and tickle just because you don't want a relationship. Just because you like your freedom doesn't mean you need to take a vow of celibacy. I can promise you there are plenty of women and men both out there that share this opinion.
I've found that if you hang out with a group of friends someplace like a bar or club or some such place and make it a point to mingle with the opposite sex your odds of finding someone looking for the same thing you are are pretty damn good as long as you dress presentably, smell nice and don't look like you are taking time off of your job guarding a bridge.
Hell, even if you do look like a bridge troll you can still find a young lady "with a nice personality" and deservedly low self esteem to share your bridge with for the evening. If you have a little charisma you may even be able to pick up a lady a little easier on the eyes if your lucky.
Bottom line you really shouldn't feel the need to jump into a relationship just because you are looking to get laid. There's a lot to be said for meaningless sex.
I've found that if you hang out with a group of friends someplace like a bar or club or some such place and make it a point to mingle with the opposite sex your odds of finding someone looking for the same thing you are are pretty damn good as long as you dress presentably, smell nice and don't look like you are taking time off of your job guarding a bridge.
Hell, even if you do look like a bridge troll you can still find a young lady "with a nice personality" and deservedly low self esteem to share your bridge with for the evening. If you have a little charisma you may even be able to pick up a lady a little easier on the eyes if your lucky.
Bottom line you really shouldn't feel the need to jump into a relationship just because you are looking to get laid. There's a lot to be said for meaningless sex.
I'm explicitly happy being by myself. The fact is, I don't like people. At all. I put on a nice face when I go out, but I legit loathe people very intensly. If not for the fact that it's hard ot make a living being a misanthrope, I'd be a misanthrope. I like forums, though. Interaction without interaction. It's great.
I would say content about being single. Im more upset at what happened after I left school. I left high school with only a few good friends. We aren't that social so we never go to parties. I hate how I haven't met anyone new my age in over a year more like 2.
The sad thing is the the people I am meeting. They are old enough to be my parents. The closes to my age is 6-7yr older. At the stage in life Im at thats huge. They are stable in jobs and family and Im working towards that.
The sad thing is the the people I am meeting. They are old enough to be my parents. The closes to my age is 6-7yr older. At the stage in life Im at thats huge. They are stable in jobs and family and Im working towards that.
Not single at the moment.
Been through long, long periods between relationships, though. I think I'm happier being single than to be in a relationship for the sake of "not being forever alone" or something. I don't always seek out long relationships, but when I do it's with someone that I really click with- not with someone I like having sex with, etc etc.
Another lesson I learned is that if someone isn't willing to publicly admit they want to be in a relationship with you, it's best to end the relationship and be single again. Even if your sex life returns to "masturbating alone in your bedroom" it's better than sex with someone who is somewhat ashamed of people knowing you had sex with them.
Been through long, long periods between relationships, though. I think I'm happier being single than to be in a relationship for the sake of "not being forever alone" or something. I don't always seek out long relationships, but when I do it's with someone that I really click with- not with someone I like having sex with, etc etc.
Another lesson I learned is that if someone isn't willing to publicly admit they want to be in a relationship with you, it's best to end the relationship and be single again. Even if your sex life returns to "masturbating alone in your bedroom" it's better than sex with someone who is somewhat ashamed of people knowing you had sex with them.
MidnightCat said:
In reading these replies to my post, I am seeing a lot of people saying the same thing. So perhaps you/we are not so far behind as it seems. For me, what is frustrating is that is seems like its the easiest thing in the world for those around me to get into relationships but I can't seem to at all.J4RD said:
I gotta ask. Are you friends with a bunch of swingers or something? I just can't see what in the blue hell your friends would be doing that would exclude you on the basis of your lack of a significant other.Jacco said:
Is it a case of them not inviting you based on your lack of a relationship or is it you simply not wanting to participate because you don't like being around couples? Because if you are excluding yourself and you are looking for a relationship you're really missing out. Couples can't help themselves when it comes to setting up their single friends with one another.
If you want a girlfriend hanging out with people in relationships is the way to go. As I said up above couples can't help themselves but to set up their single friends whether it be a sister, a friend, a cousin with a hair lip, or god knows what else.
Slight juxtaposition between your username and post there.iwinatlife said:
I couldn't resist pointing that out.
OT: Meh, different strokes.
I like being in a relationship and being single. I don't prefer either, but I do prefer being happy. If being with a person makes me happy then that's what I'll do, if being with a person doesn't make me happy, I'd be single.
It's not really all that hard to understand in my mind. You have a base of happiness (which is completely separate from your relationship status) if you find that you're falling for someone and think that being with them will make you happier you enter a relationship. If you don't think it'll make you happier (or it ceases to make you happier than you'd be on your own[footnote]Or heaven forbid makes you less happy than you'd be on your own[/footnote]) you choose to be single.
I don't see where the confusion lies.
I was bothered by the vast majority of the posts in this thread too but the thing you have to remember is this is a forum on The Escapist, while I like a lot of these people and thoroughly enjoy these forums, relationships are something a lot of them haven't and possibly never will manage to properly grasp. Our talk falls on deaf ears, friend.Xanthious said:
Not happy no.
But I currently have conflicting objectives here.
- Find someone I like.
- Pass college. (Third attempt)
I just don't see them both being achieved at the same time at this point. Especially with the former now I'm in Private school full of Grade-A assholes.
But I currently have conflicting objectives here.
- Find someone I like.
- Pass college. (Third attempt)
I just don't see them both being achieved at the same time at this point. Especially with the former now I'm in Private school full of Grade-A assholes.
I'm okay with being single. The idea of getting into a relationship doesn't appeal to me yet. Still young, still got lots to do.
I refuse hugs from some females I know that offer them. I have never been in a relationship. I have never wanted to be in a relationship. Am I happy? Yes, so long as I keep my life busy. The only time I am ever unhappy is when I have nothing to do, or am stuck doing the same thing for ages. From what I've seen of girlfriends so far, they would totally disrupt that due to their massive high maintenance of having to text them, call them, chat to them on Facebook, go out with them - its bad enough with my plain friends when they want to go do something and I'm busy. Of course I'll always accept, but I'll have other things that need doing too, either for politeness or because it is important to me (Mutually inclusive really), and it really annoys me when I am forced to leave a match half way through unannounced, or leave a Skype call with 15 friends without having time to say a proper goodbye, or complete work I promised someone I'd get done. Personally, I'm happy being single. Being in a couple doesn't seem like the life for me. Living together would likely fix a lot of the problems - as going out would be a way to get away from each other rather than see each other, and I could see them every day for a normal talk - but that would be creepy and inappropriate to ask of someone my age, especially when we start going out. Too much hassle, not enough reward.
in that you are right lol but the name fit better at one point when i got hit by a truck and lived namelyStBishop said:
nothing like that. I was talking about "couples" stuff. Last month during break, 3 of the four friends I have decided they would like to take a weekend into the mountains on a "couples retreat" thing. I didn't gather many details, but I got the impression it would not be appropriate for me to go as I was not a "couple". I was also left out of a sports game outing because there were and even number of tickets and the two people that had them (rightfully) put their significant other before me in choosing who to take/invite. It's those kinds of thing I meant.Xanthious said:
Though one could argue that you get left out of something as simple as going to a movie by going with a couple as they will spend most of the movie together.
Also, it is difficult to hang out with a friend and their significant other as it's almost like you are intruding on their time together.
im okay with being single again, but the worst part is the lack of poon back home since everyone is in school. and thats where all the poon went.
I'm content. I hsve things I want to get out of my way, things about myself that I want to improve before I get into a relationship, because if I didn't, I'd mess it up. If and when that's sorted and I meet the right girl, I'll go for it. Unless I chicken out, or they beat me to the punch, but hey.
So as to your happy not being single thing, given the choice between being single and not single right now, I'd choose not, because the circumstances aren't right. I know some other folks in similar situations, bad breakups and whatnot, who would probably choose the same. Might we eventually resolve that? Yes.
If you mean 'is it possible to always want to be single', the answer is a more limited yes, it just takes a certain kind of personality, who doesn't want or need companionship. Anything's possible
So as to your happy not being single thing, given the choice between being single and not single right now, I'd choose not, because the circumstances aren't right. I know some other folks in similar situations, bad breakups and whatnot, who would probably choose the same. Might we eventually resolve that? Yes.
If you mean 'is it possible to always want to be single', the answer is a more limited yes, it just takes a certain kind of personality, who doesn't want or need companionship. Anything's possible