Poll: Paying for dates

rutger5000

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Oct 19, 2010
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It's a silly tradition, but one that ought to be upheld non the less. However it ought to be changed a little bit, since emancipation and stuff. Now a guy should always offer to pay for the meal, if the girl refuses, he should at least offer to pay for the tip.
I myself wouldn't be inclined to pay for anything else then food though. I wouldn't offer a girl to pay for movie ticket or anything like that.
Semi relevant, I utterly refuse to keep tap on buying stuff for someone else if that stuff is under 5 euro ~ 8$. That's becuase some of my old friends had the repulsive habbit to keep track of every penny.
So besides dinner, I wouldn't mind paying for a few drinks in a bar or something.
 

Realitycrash

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Dec 12, 2010
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I expect people to be able to pay for their own meals. I might pay if I actually KNOW the person, but on a date, no. I won't pay for drinks in a bar when picking up girls, and I won't pay for their meals.
They can feel free to offer to pay for mine, though, but I don't expect them too and in general I don't want them too.
 

Elate

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Nov 21, 2010
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thaluikhain said:
Do gay couples have to pay twice, and lesbian couples eat for free?
Soviet Heavy said:
If you ask someone out to dinner, you pay the bill. If they ask you out, they pay the bill.
Pretty much that. If you can't pay, then don't offer.
 

Bradeck

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Sep 5, 2011
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If you pay for the date, it shows your considerate and kind, and has in my own experience, never been a bad decision. If you go halves, or declare that "dutch" rules are in order, it sends the immediate signal to the female that the date went bad, and you are not interested in pursuing any sort of relationship, let alone pay for the meal. If you make her pay for it, she's going to assume you have money issues, if you haven't discussed any before hand, or that you're cheap.

Hey, it's stereotypical gender reinforcement, but if you wanna get on base, you gotta play by the umpire's rules. Or you can wage a mini gender political war, not do anything minutely related to gender roles, and get that nice firm handshake after the date. That's almost better then the first date kiss. Except not really.

The only rules I take issue with are the ever changing sexual rules regarding women's date schedules. First date: Kiss on the cheek. Second date: Make out. Third date: 2-3rd base. Fourth date: Assuming it's about a month now, crushing guts. Now, I try to follow this like a law, but recently there has been a sort of secret women's sexual liberation, and these rules got nuked. I was told I was being "wicked queeah" (Boston girl) because I was resisting going up to her place on the second date. Now I'm not one to turn down a slice of strange, but I thought I was doing the "be respectful, let it peculate". Nope. I cannot find where women are setting their bar anymore on sex. It has me totally backwards.
 

Aetera

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Jan 19, 2011
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I've always been of the opinion that the person who does the asking out for that particular date should pay for that time. If it's your idea to go to the fancy restaurant, then you should pay for it. If you're dying to drag your S.O. to an arts festival, then the cost(or lack thereof) should be on you.

What really sucks is that the masculine half of the couple being expected to pay for dates isn't just limited to heterosexual couples. I'm gay, and just because I'm a tomboy that usually dates more feminine girls I'm expected to be the one to pay. It sucks. So, guys, I feel your pain. It's not fair.
 

The Night Angel

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Dec 30, 2011
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To be honest, money shouldn't matter in a relationship, but I suppose I'm quite hypocritical saying that, as I will nearly always insist on paying, or at least going half and half. Except with my current girlfriend, she's too stubborn, if she decides to pay, I can't talk her out of it.
 

Radoh

Bans for the Ban God~
Jun 10, 2010
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Well you'd better pay for the dates, otherwise you'd be shoplifting them, and that's not a very nice thing to do to the store.
 

wooty

Vi Britannia
Aug 1, 2009
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If I ask them out, then I'll pay for them. If its spontanious, then you only pay for yourself.
 

nekoali

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Aug 25, 2009
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I've always followed the rule of the person who asks the other out is the one who pays for the date, unless they agree to split it. I am a girl, and I follow that rule if I'm going out with a guy or another girl... gender doesn't enter into it. I don't ask someone out if I can't afford to pay for the date. If they insist on splitting the bill I don't mind that. But if I'm doing the asking I will automatically assume I'm doing the paying.

Now if someone asked me out and then asked me to pay or split the check I would have to seriously consider going out with them... If they genuinely couldn't afford it then maybe. If they were just being cheap then I would be walking.
 

FamoFunk

Dad, I'm in space.
Mar 10, 2010
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Depends. If they guy was the one who asked and wanted to take the Girl out, than yes, of course he should pay.

If it's a joint agreement thing, they should both pay or take in turns etc. unless someone really wants to pay for it all.
 

Wraithspine

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Aug 13, 2008
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ok My own personal view is; Why don't we both pay for it. I mean. Why should I pay for a meal? "Cause its the gentlemanly thing to do!" No. It isn't. Its a way of showing off how fat your wallet is. I do not have a fat wallet. :(

Yes, I have paid for a date's meal but then she brought a few drinks. She then paid for the next meal and I paid for the drinks. I call it: "Equality".
 
Aug 11, 2009
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Bradeck said:
Hey, it's stereotypical gender reinforcement, but if you wanna get on base, you gotta play by the umpire's rules. Or you can wage a mini gender political war, not do anything minutely related to gender roles, and get that nice firm handshake after the date. That's almost better then the first date kiss. Except not really.
See, that bothers me with that attitude. Basically your action doesn't say "i pay for her because i'm feeling nice" but "i pay for her so she better puts out"
Am I the only one who thinks that's pretty insulting?

Also i can't understand the attitude "you asked her/him out, you pay"
Most people don't ask the partner if they want to have free stuff, they ask
if they want to hang out and enjoy each others company.
And if both parties had a good time they can also both pay.
Of course you can ask to pay for all of it, but it should only be a question,
never an expectation.
 

Bradeck

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Sep 5, 2011
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NiceJobBreakingItHero said:
Bradeck said:
Hey, it's stereotypical gender reinforcement, but if you wanna get on base, you gotta play by the umpire's rules. Or you can wage a mini gender political war, not do anything minutely related to gender roles, and get that nice firm handshake after the date. That's almost better then the first date kiss. Except not really.
See, that bothers me with that attitude. Basically your action doesn't say "i pay for her because i'm feeling nice" but "i pay for her so she better puts out"
Am I the only one who thinks that's pretty insulting?

Also i can't understand the attitude "you asked her/him out, you pay"
Most people don't ask the partner if they want to have free stuff, they ask
if they want to hang out and enjoy each others company.
And if both parties had a good time they can also both pay.
Of course you can ask to pay for all of it, but it should only be a question,
never an expectation.
Then don't expect to have sex.

There are rules dude, alot of em. Put the toilet seat down. Always remember anniversaries. Don't ask to hang out with her friends, EVER. That's a big one. Don't look at other women when you're with her. Don't talk about other women you've been with, even if she talks about her ex's. If you're both doing something together, and she say's shes a. bored b. tired. or c. has a head ache, that means she wants you to take her somewhere else. Apologize twice a day, even if you haven't done anything wrong. You have, and she knows about it. If your friends want to have a guy's night out, and your girl doesn't have any reason to go out, you are staying in and watching Sex in the City. If your girl has recently had a really bad episode with a friend, do NOT insult the friend. Even if she provokes a insulting conversation, you just stare at the floor and say "I dunno."

And the most important lesson, You are never right in an argument. If you happen to win an argument, she will resent you for it, and you will pay for it later. If you don't accept the fact that she is right, she will resent you for it. If you make the cardinal sin of proving why she is wrong, she will not only resent you for it, but you will likely be talked about during her meetings with her friends, which will result in them urging her to break up with you.
 

LetalisK

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May 5, 2010
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It depends. If there is a good chance I'll get my dick wet, I'll pay. If not, I'm dining and dashing and leaving her with the tab. Had to do this a few times to my wife before she learned there is no such thing as a free meal.