Poll: You can have sex with the celebrity of your choice but they'll tell the world of your performance.

PsychedelicDiamond

Wild at Heart and weird on top
Legacy
Jan 30, 2011
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It's not like anyone not living in Germany would know who Daniela Katzenberger even is. I mean, if you'd know you'd think i'm a complete moron. Wouldn't that be embarassing?
 

Relish in Chaos

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Mar 7, 2012
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Rachel Riley (from Countdown). Not too famous, not too non-famous. Seems like quite a down-to-earth and intelligent lady, with awesome mathematic skills to boot. I would use a fake name, and maybe a bit of a disguise (e.g. sunglasses, do something different with my hair).

But if I can choose a porn star?Danni Daniels. 1) Because she?s a porn star, so even if I?m shit, I?d probably get some of the best sex I could ever dream of. And 2) I?m into transsexuals, so having sex with one would be another fantasy fulfilled (plus, she?s got a nice tomboyish edge to her). I?d still use a fake name and a bit of a disguise, though.

Even if my identity comes out, she blasts my performance, and someone tries to take the mickey, I could still just say, ?Whatever, I had sex with Rachel Riley/Danni Daniels. I wonder how good you would be in the same situation.?
 

Exius Xavarus

Casually hardcore. :}
May 19, 2010
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Mmmmmmnope. I'm pretty sure I would not get a very good review. Also, I've never really cared for celebrities as a whole.
 

kickyourass

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Apr 17, 2010
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Yes, as a virgin I know for a fact I'd be pretty terrible but even though I don't have any experience I make up for it with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment. Plus I'm a nice guy so maybe Emma Watson's forgiving enough to let me try to redeem my likely god awful performance.

boots said:
Yes. Ryan Gosling.

What's that you say? Potential for global gossip mag coverage and lifetime humiliation? Well, in that case...

Am I the only person alive who DOESN'T think Ryan Gosling is good looking? I've nothing against the guy it's just that in half the pictures I've seen him in his skin looks unnaturally smooth, I like smooth skin as much as the next person but not when it looks like you're made of lotion.
 

MrFlipFlops

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Apr 18, 2011
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Hell yeah, wouldn't even think about it. Even if we assume that the potential celebrity is going to act like a huge toolbag about the whole thing and paint me as the worst thing to happen to sex since since genital warts, at the end of the day I still got to bang someone I find endlessly attractive and out of my league by several light years. The hard part here is to choose the celebrity. Just looking through the thread gives me too many irresistible options.
 

LarenzoAOG

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Apr 28, 2010
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If Beyonce can still stand after a whole night of my red hot lovin' she can say whatever the fuck she wants to say to anyone, unless she utters some kind of spell, goes back in time and unsleeps with me, then I'll be very, very sad.
 

lettucethesallad

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Nov 18, 2009
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Hell yeah. The world can think I'm a shit lay if need be (though I'd totally pull out all the stops on this one, so I doubt it). If I get to bang k-pop band Big Bang's rapper TOP, I can die a happy woman.
 

Reeve

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Feb 8, 2013
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I voted yes. Now I can only hope that my biology professor wins the Nobel Prize and becomes famous, so that it counts.
 

bartholen_v1legacy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 24, 2009
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Hell effing yes. I'll just tell her a made-up name, and I'm cleared.

My choices would be:

- Purely for the sake of boinking someone, Katy Perry. I'd have to stick blu-tack up my nose to keep from getting a copious nosebleed every 5 seconds due to her killer body.

- For the sake of boinking someone but also getting to know them better over the weekend, Olivia Wilde. Something about her just looks mysterious, exotic and intriguing
 

Wadders

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Aug 16, 2008
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kyuzo3567 said:
Wadders said:
Evil Smurf said:
<spoiler=Porn Star>Feye Reaganhttp://beststarphoto.com/images/faye-reagan-01.jpg
Yesss!

I'd go with Emma Stone. Hnnng! Not too bothered what she'd say to be honest, it would all be justified.
See, I would say that but my girlfriend looks pretty similar to Emma Stone... and I'm not the only person who thinks so, so it's not just wishful thinking..
In that case, you are a very lucky fella!
 

Lynx

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Jul 24, 2009
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Oh dear. Uh... A five-way with Hugh Jackman, Mila Kunis, Marion Cotillard and Christian Bale?

In fantasy land ('cause let's face it, it's not gonna happen), I'd do it with either of those four. And I would make sure I was at the top of my game.
 

Random Argument Man

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May 21, 2008
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If I made a shitty performance, I'd go with Christen Stewart. She wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

If it was a good performance...well...Clémence Poésy



Because I'm a french canadian who's a sucker for french blondes.
 

Darken12

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Apr 16, 2011
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I'd be tempted to pick Matt Bomer, because he's married and has children, so the public humiliation of my less than stellar performance would be pretty underwhelming compared to the cheating scandal he'd get himself into, but I admire him as a person and role model far too much to hypothetically get in the way of his marriage.
 

bigredlyms

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May 25, 2010
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RedDeadFred said:
Lose my virginity to Taylor Swift (hater her music but she's very attractive IMO)? Ya I'll go for that. I don't care if I'm bad at it. If someone makes fun of me for my performance I can just say: "fuck you, I had sex with Taylor Swift. Besides my performance can only get better."
Taylor Swift is like the worst person to choose lol. She is literally famous for talking shit about previous lovers.
 

Bestival

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May 5, 2012
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Pff, if they wouldn't tell the world then I damn well would. Shit like that is total braggin' rights.

Also, I'd totally tape that shit, "HAAM RICH BIAATCH!"
 

Longstreet

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Jun 16, 2012
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well, i like these no-brainers.

YES.

Dont really care if they tell about my performance, you can just counter with the argument (in case it is bad) But i still had her in the sack! Win-win the way i see it.

First one that came to mind when i read the title was Emma Watson. Now since i realize that is a bit cliche i would also like to have a go at the singer from arch enemy *quick google* Angela Gossow. She's probably a beast.
 

FoolKiller

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Feb 8, 2008
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DevilWithaHalo said:
I have a hard time choosing between Oprah Winfrey and Margaret Thatcher.

Why you might ask?

Balls of steel man.

Balls. Of. Steel.
Well played.

I'm not sure who I would choose but hells yes to the idea. What is the downside to a 3 day weekend? After that you would have had lots of chances to do well or suck and get better. Hell, after three days they would probably want more and I would have to have the "talk" with her.
 

lechat

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Dec 5, 2012
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dammit got ninja'd to taylor swift cause the ***** is gonna tell the world anyway

i'd definitely take the offer. not too worried about my performance

as for who i would pick that would be a harder question





honestly you could roll a die on any of those and i wouldn't care.... actually i take back my answer. odds are i would mess my pants if i got too close to any of those fine ladies