Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Headsprouter]

Done, turns out it was all nostalgia.

I wish for a turtle neck.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's old, brittle, and slow as fuck overall...

I wish to meta out!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You meta out. . . right out of a 20th story window!

I wish my lawn would mow itself.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will mow you down for unknown known vengeance!

I wish I was King of the Road!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, so many people are now challenging you for that title.

I wish I didn't have to burn to get tan.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, now you will freeze to death to get a tan... It's called frostbite!

I wish my package wasn't taken!

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Your package isn't taken from you, because you swallowed it, only to be arrested for contraband when going through a checkpoint.

I wish to become an omnipotent, everlasting and all knowing consciousness living on a higher plane of existance, whilst retaining my sanity and memories.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you still subcome to pure loniness and live the rest of your days as a born-again hypocrite...

I wish for uncensored content!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you cannot erase the horrific imagery from your mind.

I wish old games to be added to existing consoles every week and new games announced every month.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

The only add the absolute worst, and the new games are just remakes of the old shitty games.

I wish anyone disposing of their trash from home at bicentennial park in Eden would have said trash teleported to their yard upon which it instantly explodes all over their yard.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, after some paperwork, it's all redirected back at you, wish-maker!

I wish I saw a fully-animated documentary!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. It is the worst documentary ever, is 10 hours long, and you have to watch every second.

I wish the next poster would get laid tomorrow.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it was 100% incest! *shivers* Fuck me...

I wish the foreshadowing wasn't true!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. foreshadowing loses all use as a storytelling tool

I wish this thread had been my idea.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it barely last a single page before it gets auto-locked...

I wish I knew where the smell came from!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you stink, man!

I wish I could do mercenary work.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted you are a mercenary outhouse cleaner.

I wish Heath Ledger was still alive.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, he takes a downward spiral.

I wish there was bigger rewards for achievements/trophies.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. They now take far more effort to earn than you are willing to invest
t
I wish for bacon.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's all burnt-to-a-crisp kind...

I wish to put a shock in the system!