Self Harm and You
- Thread starter The White Hunter
- Start date
I've thought of doing it, merely so as to shock relatives into not doing something particularly stupid. Then I realized that cutting or stabbing myself would be more idiotic than the thing they were planning on doing, and I also realized that it's not right to blackmail someone into not doing something by threatening self-harm. I was thinking of doing it merely as a means to try and control someone's actions, and that's not right. Not right at all.
If banging my head against a wall for comedic effect doesn't count, no, I've never done it. I had my fair share of teen angst back in the day, being the ugly, geeky reject in middle school, but my success in school, good life outside of it and fairly good physical shape kept me from going further. I thought of suicide a few times (who doesn't at that age?) but drawing blood on myself just seemed terribly messy and unnecessary. Plus my dad is a doctor, so he would have noticed.
Over the years I've become more extroverted, so if I'm feeling cranky or depressed, I generally let people know, and then let it out by ranting about whatever has gotten under my skin.
21, male, straight as a ruler.
Edit: Oh wait, this was a bout self-harm, not necessarily pain... well ok.
Over the years I've become more extroverted, so if I'm feeling cranky or depressed, I generally let people know, and then let it out by ranting about whatever has gotten under my skin.
21, male, straight as a ruler.
Edit: Oh wait, this was a bout self-harm, not necessarily pain... well ok.
My crotch area has gotten so hairy it itches very often. Instead of trimming, I tend to scratch it, often to the point where the flesh is almost raw. It doesn't hurt, it actually feels really good, which is why I like doing it, but I think I should stop doing it and just shave instead.
18, male, gay.
No, I've never self harmed before. I have done stupid things like banging my fist against my wall out of anger, but I'm much too fickle and fearful of blood to ever attempt doing something like that. The sight of blood and the idea of spilling blood is way too good of a deterrent for me.
It might be that my life thus far has been low on stress but I've always felt that time and a little bit of rest were always enough to clear my head. I suppose that just means that I've been fortunate enough to have a relatively calm life so far and I haven't dealt with the kind of stress many of the other posters here have.
No, I've never self harmed before. I have done stupid things like banging my fist against my wall out of anger, but I'm much too fickle and fearful of blood to ever attempt doing something like that. The sight of blood and the idea of spilling blood is way too good of a deterrent for me.
It might be that my life thus far has been low on stress but I've always felt that time and a little bit of rest were always enough to clear my head. I suppose that just means that I've been fortunate enough to have a relatively calm life so far and I haven't dealt with the kind of stress many of the other posters here have.
But I need those hit points!SkarKrow said:
No self-cutting here. I've hurt myself with some physical training before, and taken a hit (shoulder, forearms, elbows, glance to the head) to get into a better position in sparring or to let off a sweet counter; but never sat down and carved myself up for peace and enlightenment. I have tea and meditation for that. You know you can shut down and silence all the mental noise right? It just takes practice and determination.
As for the instruments of self harm, I was always taught to respect knives and never point them towards myself. So how I was raised has helped me to never consider slicing for some peace.
28, male, straight and happily married.
That's nice, why exactly did you quote me directly to tell me that you need those hit points?Elf Defiler Korgan said:
I'm glad you've never done it, because at least it's an indicator that you've never experienced the swelling miserable void that is absolute despair.
Oh I have felt despair my friend. My parents died slow of diseases (they got to lose their minds first), a former gf died in a ridiculously "safe" operation (where nothing could possibly go wrong), a gaming pal and genuinely good guy died this year in a motorcycle accident (his head kind of exploded as he collided with a pole). I have also been washed away in a flood, being alone for some time where the only thing I could hold on to above water was covered with spiders.SkarKrow said:
Life is rough, but self harm is not a real solution, you are just maiming yourself for a release. It is not a good idea.
28, male, straight.
Never cut myself or seriously hurt myself otherwise, but at times I've felt an overwhelming desire to hit myself for some perceived failing or to ease anxiety in some twisted way. Basically it results in a few hard smacks to my forehead before the pain kicks in and I sorta snap back to reality.
I've kinda worried about it before but it seems to happen less these days, so I'm hoping that's a good sign.
Never cut myself or seriously hurt myself otherwise, but at times I've felt an overwhelming desire to hit myself for some perceived failing or to ease anxiety in some twisted way. Basically it results in a few hard smacks to my forehead before the pain kicks in and I sorta snap back to reality.
I've kinda worried about it before but it seems to happen less these days, so I'm hoping that's a good sign.
I've lost people important to me too, I've had friends kill themselves, grandparents die, distant cousins disappear.Elf Defiler Korgan said:
To feel despair from those is rational an human, and does not constitute the same experience as irrational, all consuming misery, it's not the same as having your own mind attack your very being and pick you apart from within over absolutely nothing, no trigger, nothing, or even something pathetic like somebody looked at me differently and something snapped inside.
It's not the same. I'm sorry that stuff happened to you, I have experienced similar misfortunes and tragedies, I empathise and understand, but it is not the same as irrational hatred.
I don't mean to pick a fight with you here, but you don't really need to quote me, or the majority of OP's here on the Escapist, we tend to read our own threads and engage with the audience they attract. Some of us genuinely read every single post in a thread that we create.
I did not mean to dismiss or belittle your experiences. I apologise, but there is a distinction to be draw between rational mourning over loss and irrational despair over pathetic daily occurences or uncontrollable shifts in the minds of the mentall ill.
Yep, and how does cutting away some hp make you feel better? Does this good feeling last for a day? A week?
It is a cycle, a negative one. The problems are in your head (there sounds like a lot of fixation on mundane crap to me), but you can do something about it. You can improve your life and feel better about yourself. If you keep yourself busy improving daily the screams of anxiety will fade into the background. You will have shit to do and won't have so much time to think about them and deplete your health bar.
Also, check your diet. Good and wholesome stuff? Are you eating enough to replenish blood loss and body damage and the right sort of foods?
It is a cycle, a negative one. The problems are in your head (there sounds like a lot of fixation on mundane crap to me), but you can do something about it. You can improve your life and feel better about yourself. If you keep yourself busy improving daily the screams of anxiety will fade into the background. You will have shit to do and won't have so much time to think about them and deplete your health bar.
Also, check your diet. Good and wholesome stuff? Are you eating enough to replenish blood loss and body damage and the right sort of foods?
Reasons: Despair, self loathing, rage and a desire to enact self punishment to restore balance, and genuine attempts at suicide
Placement: My left arm and side and throat are covered with various cuts ranging from "oh look a kitty scratch" to "oh, so blood -does- spray out when you hit an artery". Various stitch and cauterizing scars also make an appearance.Though I haven't done it in a couple years (though my last suicide attempt was hanging so i guess i evolved methods)
Diagnosis: I suspect borderline personality disorder (explaining my inability to cope) or unipolar depression ("black moods" without any trigger) or autism spectrum as possible culprits
A/S/O 30 male straight (though i had my college phase)
That being said, don't. Distract, delay, daydream, anything until the desire to hurt yourself passes. It feeds the cycle and eventually can become an entire depressive focus. (as you begin to loathe yourself for being so weak as to need to self harm.)
There's help out there, don't be afraid and don't think you don't deserve to look. Sometimes it's in strange places.
edit: i suppose there was a component of attention seeking to it. But it was more wanting people to care. Not think i was cool.
Placement: My left arm and side and throat are covered with various cuts ranging from "oh look a kitty scratch" to "oh, so blood -does- spray out when you hit an artery". Various stitch and cauterizing scars also make an appearance.Though I haven't done it in a couple years (though my last suicide attempt was hanging so i guess i evolved methods)
Diagnosis: I suspect borderline personality disorder (explaining my inability to cope) or unipolar depression ("black moods" without any trigger) or autism spectrum as possible culprits
A/S/O 30 male straight (though i had my college phase)
That being said, don't. Distract, delay, daydream, anything until the desire to hurt yourself passes. It feeds the cycle and eventually can become an entire depressive focus. (as you begin to loathe yourself for being so weak as to need to self harm.)
There's help out there, don't be afraid and don't think you don't deserve to look. Sometimes it's in strange places.
edit: i suppose there was a component of attention seeking to it. But it was more wanting people to care. Not think i was cool.
I used to, all up my thigh, used to draw pretty pictures on myself (That's really fucked up thinking about it)
Nowadays, I manage to get the same feeling by sucking down cigarettes and alcohol, best coping method for 3 years of a constant depression I've found.
I'm 18, straight male.
Nowadays, I manage to get the same feeling by sucking down cigarettes and alcohol, best coping method for 3 years of a constant depression I've found.
I'm 18, straight male.
Like any high it is brief and passing.Elf Defiler Korgan said:
If it were a fixation on something mundane I would be able to deal with it much more directly, it isn't, there's no reason, it just happens, that's why it's a mental illness and not just feeling sad.Elf Defiler Korgan said:
Whole grains, fruit, vegetables and lean meat combined with a good hour minimum of rigorous excercise a day.Elf Defiler Korgan said:
Edit: I should point out this has been a rare relapse for me, I've been fine and stable for a good two years. This isn't normal for me and it tends to pass.
it's slow suicide dude. Granted you're young enough that your body can take it, but believe me it makes a difference when you hit 30.Mazza35 said:
I know it sounds preachy and disingenuous cause this is the internet... but you got to find another way. The last thing you want is to find something to live for then realize you can't. Believe me.
So I'm currently studying to become a GP one day (a long way off yet) but I have just been doing this short course in first aid for mental health and I thought I might share some of the information given on non-suicidal self-injury. This is from a book called "Mental Health First Aid Manual" 3rd edition by Kitchener, B., Jorm, A. & Kelly, C. for an organisation called Mental Health First Aid International.
"Self-injury can indicate a number of different things. Someone who is hurting themselves may be at risk of suicide. Others engage in a pattern of self-injury over weeks, months or years and are not necessarily suicidal."
"The most common motivations people gave for self-injury (from an Australian survey) were to manage painful feelings (57%) and to punish themselves (25%). Less than 3% said they engaged in the behaviour to combat suicidal thoughts, seek a rush or high, or to deliberately scar themselves."
"Of the people who self-injured in the past month, 61% had a mood disorder and 58% an anxiety disorder. Although it can occur at any age, self-injury was most common in adolescents and young adults."
Finally it says that "self-injury is not an illness in itself, but usually a symptom of either a mental illness or serious psychological distress which needs treatment."
I read the earlier post that a GP would probably just try to put you on medication and that probably is what the majority of GPs would do but there are many other alternatives such as a psychologist, CBT, natural therapies, meditation, or something else that gives you some clarity.
I did self harm when I was 14 and I think I did it because I couldn't cope with my depression and emotions anymore and so it was a physical manifestation of how I felt inside. I also have very low self-esteem sometimes and an anxiety disorder so I would say its a symptom of those.
Also if anyone is interested http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm this website has some self-directed CBT modules for depression, self-esteem, anxiety and some other things just to give you an idea of what CBT is about.
26/F/Straight
"Self-injury can indicate a number of different things. Someone who is hurting themselves may be at risk of suicide. Others engage in a pattern of self-injury over weeks, months or years and are not necessarily suicidal."
"The most common motivations people gave for self-injury (from an Australian survey) were to manage painful feelings (57%) and to punish themselves (25%). Less than 3% said they engaged in the behaviour to combat suicidal thoughts, seek a rush or high, or to deliberately scar themselves."
"Of the people who self-injured in the past month, 61% had a mood disorder and 58% an anxiety disorder. Although it can occur at any age, self-injury was most common in adolescents and young adults."
Finally it says that "self-injury is not an illness in itself, but usually a symptom of either a mental illness or serious psychological distress which needs treatment."
I read the earlier post that a GP would probably just try to put you on medication and that probably is what the majority of GPs would do but there are many other alternatives such as a psychologist, CBT, natural therapies, meditation, or something else that gives you some clarity.
I did self harm when I was 14 and I think I did it because I couldn't cope with my depression and emotions anymore and so it was a physical manifestation of how I felt inside. I also have very low self-esteem sometimes and an anxiety disorder so I would say its a symptom of those.
Also if anyone is interested http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm this website has some self-directed CBT modules for depression, self-esteem, anxiety and some other things just to give you an idea of what CBT is about.
26/F/Straight
19 male straight. I dont ever want to cut myself because frankly I never want to cause any lasting harm or scars. Im a vain person. That said I wouldnt ever judge someone else with scars, id just be scared of them judging me. I bite my knuckles and hands instead. Hard. Just over and over. When im stressed I chew things, my hoody sleeve and stuff. When Im depressed im stressed and the urge to chew just directly goes to my hands and arms. It hurts which I guess I find relieving of the depression and the chewing releases the stress. I know thats weird. I always do it to punish myself since my depression always stemmed from guilt.
Ive thought about suicide a lot before but only during a very short burst of intense depression, over the course of 2 months when my life was going into a tail spin. Im better. But im still leaning toward self destructive and stupid tendencies. I guess I definitely was depressed. I still have bursts of huge sadness where I'll sort of self destruct internally and feel like ive ruined my life and I have nothing to look forward too. I dont think about suicide anymore though, I know rationally I DO have stuff to live for and that keeps me from even considering it. Maybe I'm still depressed. I dnt know. Im getting better at any rate. Its just a matter of waiting it out.
Ive thought about suicide a lot before but only during a very short burst of intense depression, over the course of 2 months when my life was going into a tail spin. Im better. But im still leaning toward self destructive and stupid tendencies. I guess I definitely was depressed. I still have bursts of huge sadness where I'll sort of self destruct internally and feel like ive ruined my life and I have nothing to look forward too. I dont think about suicide anymore though, I know rationally I DO have stuff to live for and that keeps me from even considering it. Maybe I'm still depressed. I dnt know. Im getting better at any rate. Its just a matter of waiting it out.
22, male, straight. Briefly thought about it before, even to the extent of suicide, but never considered it a real option. I just don't see it solving anything. Also cutting myself doesn't seem like a good time. Cuts aren't fun, and I hate bleeding. I'd rather live on, in case things get better, or I find a better way to go about my life, even if I'm in mental pain.