Self Harm and You

[Lieju]

Nope. I say this in the nicest way possible, but I fail to understand how self-harm can ever make you feel better.

I can only speak for myself, but if you feel really horrible mentally, making the pain physical and clear instead can help.

Especially since there is often a stigma against mental issues, so people who are depressed can feel like they are sad over nothing. Physical pain, which is far more acceptable to be sad over, can help alleviate the quilt.

26, female, lesbian.
I would never cut, leaves marks.

But I have hurt myself in other ways.

Well since we are sharing, I attempted suicide around 16. Oddly I think this post will be among the few where sexual orientation comes makes sense. I had recently come out, and well, I lived in a republican suburb in ohio. Some of my best friends stopped talking to me. That combined with watching everyone else go through their first romances, losing their virginities ect. It was actually really hard for me to see I would ever have it for myself, so the depression led me to slit my wrists. I recovered naturally, I guess I did it becuase I was too stupid to understand my life would change after highschool. Now I'm married and have made peace with all but one of my friends. We were all immature back then, if I could attempt suicide I could forgive them for their unworldly beliefs.

24, Male, Gay

Unfortunately, I know several people with similar stories to yours.
With me, being straigth would have probably helped (because it's likely I would have gotten into a relationship), but my Aspergers and difficulty in social relationships was a bigger problem for me.

Although if I weren't someone with Asperger's I might have cared more about people being shitty to me over being gay.

 

[The White Hunter]

... Whow ...

I'm deeply sorry to hear- literally, that got me worked up when reading. I know I am just an online user who's quite limited but... if you want, please feel free to PM me. I'll listen and give you whatever advise I can. That is entirely your choice of course, plus I would hate to see someone suffering. Wow, I am truly sorry for whatever is causing you to inflict yourself man.

Hopefully others have offered their help but regardless, I promise to be here for you if you'd like that. No one deserves to suffer and I sure won't sit idly by as crap happens to yah. So again I am all ears if you want to talk. God bless you..

OT: I never cut myself before, but one time it was accidental. Thought a small pink knife was a toy- only to find out it was a small kitchen knife meant to cut turkey. Boy did it sting really badly and bled out quite a bit.

A large part of what causes it is my own madness, don't worry about it. Thanks for the offer of help though.

 

[doggy go 7]

I haven't, but my now girlfriend used to. She stopped around the time she started going out with me (apparently those two things are related, which is a nice thought), but we were friends beforehand when she was going through some of the worst of it, and talked to me about it quite a bit, which made me quite aware of the world of depression and self harm and things like that, stuff that'd never really been part of my life before then.
If people are wondering, her reasons for doing it fell something along the lines of feeling she was worthless, and that she deserved it, and should be punished for her supposed transgressions. Obviously I didn't think she did, but the state her mind was in meant that it was so hard for her to see the good things in her life.
I'm, 18 male straight, she was 17 (is now 18) (and on the bias point, when I was googling this stuff, supposedly 90% of the people that self harm in the UK are teenage girls)

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

I put a knife to my arm once. Then I put it back. I think had I not done so things would be different now, but I have never self harmed. Straight male, typical age.

 

[default]

... Whow ...

I'm deeply sorry to hear- literally, that got me worked up when reading. I know I am just an online user who's quite limited but... if you want, please feel free to PM me. I'll listen and give you whatever advise I can. That is entirely your choice of course, plus I would hate to see someone suffering. Wow, I am truly sorry for whatever is causing you to inflict yourself man.

Hopefully others have offered their help but regardless, I promise to be here for you if you'd like that. No one deserves to suffer and I sure won't sit idly by as crap happens to yah. So again I am all ears if you want to talk. God bless you..

OT: I never cut myself before, but one time it was accidental. Thought a small pink knife was a toy- only to find out it was a small kitchen knife meant to cut turkey. Boy did it sting really badly and bled out quite a bit.

A large part of what causes it is my own madness, don't worry about it. Thanks for the offer of help though.

I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times before (because God knows I have) but it will get better my friend. It may not be for a while, but you will get there.

Are you seeing anyone professional at the moment? I hated the idea for years but after I nearly died 10 months ago it has really helped. And it's not because of the cognitive therapy (I still feel about as fucking awful as ever, Christmas was anguish), it's having that person completely out of your social sphere to just... talk to. It's such a release in a way that not even the closest of friends can replicate.

 

[Multi-Hobbyist]

Christ. I just wanna bash the self-harmers in this thread, but I just can't bring myself to care anymore.
Welp, that and I've done far stupider crap in this lifetime so I have no place for judging. 23, Male, mostly straight.

 

[AVATAR_RAGE]

21, Male, Straight.

Have not self harmed. Though I can't say for sure I did go through a time in my late teens where I became incredibly depressed, it is possible I could have considered it but honestly I can't remember.

Though I do accidentally cut my head when my nails are too long. Long story but to summarize, dry scalp, occasionally scabby and that gets itchy. Kinda gross but it does get hard to to scratch.

 

[The White Hunter]

... Whow ...

I'm deeply sorry to hear- literally, that got me worked up when reading. I know I am just an online user who's quite limited but... if you want, please feel free to PM me. I'll listen and give you whatever advise I can. That is entirely your choice of course, plus I would hate to see someone suffering. Wow, I am truly sorry for whatever is causing you to inflict yourself man.

Hopefully others have offered their help but regardless, I promise to be here for you if you'd like that. No one deserves to suffer and I sure won't sit idly by as crap happens to yah. So again I am all ears if you want to talk. God bless you..

OT: I never cut myself before, but one time it was accidental. Thought a small pink knife was a toy- only to find out it was a small kitchen knife meant to cut turkey. Boy did it sting really badly and bled out quite a bit.

A large part of what causes it is my own madness, don't worry about it. Thanks for the offer of help though.

I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times before (because God knows I have) but it will get better my friend. It may not be for a while, but you will get there.

Are you seeing anyone professional at the moment? I hated the idea for years but after I nearly died 10 months ago it has really helped. And it's not because of the cognitive therapy (I still feel about as fucking awful as ever, Christmas was anguish), it's having that person completely out of your social sphere to just... talk to. It's such a release in a way that not even the closest of friends can replicate.

Ehh not at the moment, going to in the new year but willing to wager my GP will be dismissive or throw drugs I won't take at the problem, since that's the quality of medical care in my area.

 

[default]

... Whow ...

I'm deeply sorry to hear- literally, that got me worked up when reading. I know I am just an online user who's quite limited but... if you want, please feel free to PM me. I'll listen and give you whatever advise I can. That is entirely your choice of course, plus I would hate to see someone suffering. Wow, I am truly sorry for whatever is causing you to inflict yourself man.

Hopefully others have offered their help but regardless, I promise to be here for you if you'd like that. No one deserves to suffer and I sure won't sit idly by as crap happens to yah. So again I am all ears if you want to talk. God bless you..

OT: I never cut myself before, but one time it was accidental. Thought a small pink knife was a toy- only to find out it was a small kitchen knife meant to cut turkey. Boy did it sting really badly and bled out quite a bit.

A large part of what causes it is my own madness, don't worry about it. Thanks for the offer of help though.

I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times before (because God knows I have) but it will get better my friend. It may not be for a while, but you will get there.

Are you seeing anyone professional at the moment? I hated the idea for years but after I nearly died 10 months ago it has really helped. And it's not because of the cognitive therapy (I still feel about as fucking awful as ever, Christmas was anguish), it's having that person completely out of your social sphere to just... talk to. It's such a release in a way that not even the closest of friends can replicate.

Ehh not at the moment, going to in the new year but willing to wager my GP will be dismissive or throw drugs I won't take at the problem, since that's the quality of medical care in my area.

Meh, just do your best to insist for a referral. I know what the pill poppers are like, throwing them at every problem. I went through about 8 different kinds of medication over 3-4 years before just giving up on it. Much better for it too, I fucking hated facing every day with a head full of bees and clouds.

 

[Eamar]

I have bipolar disorder, and I've self-harmed (some minor cutting, but mostly burning/branding my arms) in the past. My experiences are slightly different from the stereotypical ones in that it's never been habitual or even deliberate for me. It's like I go into a trance and just find myself doing it - I've never actually want to. Then I snap out of it and completely freak out when I realise what I've done. It's absolutely terrifying and deeply upsetting. I'm immediately filled with an overwhelming sense of shame and go to great lengths to keep the marks hidden (the whole trance thing means I don't have the forethought to do it somewhere like my thighs or upper arms). Fortunately I haven't been left with any obvious scars, and the few I do have aren't really "suspicious."

That said, the fact that it's such a rare occurrence means that I can use it as an indicator that I really need to do something about my illness. The first time I did it was when I was first running into serious problems with the bipolar (though it wasn't diagnosed until years later), and no one around me was taking me seriously. I was completely overcome with anger and frustration and ended up burning myself. However, that made me realise that I needed to talk to someone, so I started to open up about the problems I was having to a trusted teacher. The last time I did it, last summer, the bipolar meds I was on at the time just weren't helping at all and the side effects were awful, but I denied there was a problem for months (I'm sure lots of you with experience of mental illness will know the feeling). When I found myself cutting, it was the kick up the backside I needed to go to the doctor, get referred to a psychiatrist again and change the medication.

I was also bulimic as a teenager, and I think that plays into the same self-destructive mindset, which can also be a feature of bipolar.

For the record, I'm 22, female and bisexual, so I guess at one point I fitted in with the teenage girl stereotype. I was all too aware of that at the time and felt so disappointed in myself for becoming stereotypical, what with the eating disorder and everything as well. Stupid way to think about mental illness, but I was young and uneducated about this stuff back then.

 

[Eamar]

Ehh not at the moment, going to in the new year but willing to wager my GP will be dismissive or throw drugs I won't take at the problem, since that's the quality of medical care in my area.

My dad's a GP, and he freely admits that 9 times out of 10 they know fuck all about mental health. As others have said, push for a referral. Believe me, it's worth it.

Also don't necessarily be too keen to dismiss medication out of hand. It's definitely not the right treatment for every person or disorder, and of course there are downsides, but when prescribed by someone who knows what they're doing (so again, a psychiatrist, NOT a GP) they can be life-savers. I know I'm coming at this from a slightly different angle to most (I have a condition that absolutely does require medication), but do think seriously about it if it's offered.

 

[kommando367]

I do enjoy pain, but I prefer it inflicted by others because I have too much self-control to deliberately harm myself.

21, Male, Straight

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Yes, I used to years ago in high school, cutting, stopped, regretted ever doing it.
Nothing is uglier than an arm covered in scars.

Why? Because I was a fucking attention seeking little emo gobshite,
who was too dumb to realize the world isn't out to get me.

Most recent self harm was a suicide attempt 2 years ago. That was a genuine depressive episode.

Since then I realized if I wanted to die, I would have died already.
So fuck everything and smile.

19, Male, Straight.

Spoiler

open letter to any current cutters, please stop while your ahead

 

[[REDACTED]]

I've never cut myself, but I did engage in some self-harm as a child, mainly tearing out clumps of my hair and bashing my head against walls. I don't think I actually wanted to do myself harm, though. I've always had some nervous ticks, and they simply became more wild and panicked the worse my depression was. It was caged-animal behaviour, not a conscious decision on my part.

I'm a mostly straight male, currently 16 years old. I was 6-8 years old when it was at its worst.

I would self harm after seeing plastic beach knowing the good albums that had come before

Suicide crosses my mind frequently in these kinds of times but I lack the .44 necessary to fulfill that desire.

Good to hear you're getting better and that I have a bastard to vaguely relate to.

If you're seriously contemplating suicide, then please, talk to someone. No matter how hopeless you feel, you are far from alone. There are countless people out there who are more than willing to help. If nothing else, get in contact with a suicide prevention group, like Samaritans.

I realize that when you've reached that point, optimism can come across as shallow or even condescending. I won't pretend I know your circumstances, but I can understand what you're going through. When life feels like a pointless, painful, unending slog, when the things you used to enjoy only serve to remind you that you can't anymore, it's far too easy to disregard the possibility that anything could change.

Escaping from that pit isn't easy. I fact, it could be the hardest thing you ever do. But I know from experience that it's worth it. No matter how awful it is right now, life will always have more to offer.

If at any point you want to talk about it, I'd be more than happy to listen. I just hate seeing another person going through this horrible shit, and I want to help in any way that I can.

 

[FalloutJack]

Interesting topic. Uhhh...

Man, straight, and 32.

{1} Have I? No, not really. The only reason I have any degree of masochism is that other people who have tried to hurt me have failed miserably, and then I practice my other trait: Sadism.

{2} Since I haven't, lemme change this to 'Why not?'. I have a formidable self-esteem, the kind that tells others who would try to drive it down to fuck off. People giving me a hard time have low self-esteem themselves, and therefore need to drag down others before them. Well, that's not for me.

{3} Uhhh...pass. Can't answer 'Too what ends?' if I haven't.

{4} Aaand...still no, and actually I try to get others off of self-abuse, 'cause I know people and it's not pretty.

 

[Seagoon]

Personally I've never self harmed or wanted to but I've had some pretty close experiences with it. Since coming to my new college, I've come into contact with a lot of people suffering from depression and self harm, the most notable of which ended up being my girlfriend. Having such an intimate relationship with someone who self harms was pretty fucking intense especially since she used me to vent her insecurities and ended up depending on me way too much - made worse by the fact that I'm naturally over empathetic and had a deep desire to help her. It sounds so horrible to say, but getting into a relationship with a cutter was a really bad decision and its only served to show me how fucking awful and ugly depression really is.

17.

Male.

Heterosexual. (But fuck that, labels are for losers)

 

[Aesir23]

Female, 25, Straight.

I was incredibly depressed for a variety of reasons during the period of time that I had been cutting, even to the point of having suicidal thoughts and very nearly making an attempt on my own life. The anxiety disorders probably didn't help either. Cutting was essentially a release from those emotions, especially when they became overwhelming for me at that point in time.

That was years ago and, as cheesy as it may sound, I genuinely think that I came out of it as a stronger person with more empathy for what a person may be privately going through. Essentially just being more accepting as a whole.

Obviously there are things about my life that I still wish I could change but after going through that and coming out of it in one piece, it has definitely reminded me that problems are not always permanent.

 

[Nokturos]

Never. I've known a lot of people who did, and I sort of understand the impulse, but I don't think I'll ever share it.

22, male, straight.

 

[Ryan Minns]

Never done it but I've met far so many people who have. In my youth I was the type that used to think those who did it were weak and pathetic but as I've gotten older I am VERY ashamed of that belief. I've met far too many wonderful people who do it and most of them are some of the strongest people I know.

Straight, male, 27

 

[sagitel]

yeeesh! so many guys with problems. this is sad.(i am in no way insulting anyone. thought it may need clearing up) anyway. suicide has crossed my mind once but nothing after that. i sometimes smack myself in the face stop doing whatever om doing and start being productive but nothing more serious.

im 18 male straight