Space Janitors: Episode One

jamart

New member
Feb 16, 2011
84
0
0
I... wasn't blown away I'll admit.
BUT, I gave the Jimquisition a chance, and this one deserves more than that did on the basis of the first episode.
 

Particulate

New member
May 27, 2011
235
0
0
That was four minutes I'll never get back.

I feel unwowed, unimpressed, and a little disappointed. For all the ads on the site I seriously expect more. At least Computer effects from this Decade.
 

Kris D'Arienzo

New member
May 12, 2011
13
0
0
Dialog was strong and well delivered. Very, very quotable. Agree w/ the Red Dwarfesque comments. To me, web series are a lot like sketch comedy, "Buy the Premise. Buy the bit. And throw out everything that isn't that." The episode was 3:52 and the before establishing the premise, the protagonist's love life is established and then dropped. If the show has only got 4 minutes and she's not going to be in them, then save that info for later episodes. On the event front, he only thematic development was the "rebels" not shooting at the protagonists. Which was a great "show, don't tell" moment that got stepped on by heavy-handed explanation. Off-the-top-of-my-head, better to have:

Throws down mop, big sigh, two finger "look at me" gesture. "A little eye contact would kill you? We're important, you know! Got access to the giant laser...and the hyper drive." (voice trails off at the end, which flows nicely back into the snarky comment about urinal cakes.)

But really anything that juxtaposes the character's impotence with actual desire would work. It shows promise, and I will definitely look forward to future episodes. Normally, it feels unfair to complain about a small webisode but if they're gonna put up a 20 second back-out shot demonstrating the technical cost and production value of the show (I assume to give the audience an overt sense of perspective of the characters vs. their world....btw a small piece of fairy cake off to the side would have been genius). I'm going to nitpick on dropping the ball with the story. Anyway, an excellent concept, good dialog, and solid acting is gonna make a lot of people (including me) watch and there's lots of reason to expect this group will only get better.
 

Extragorey

New member
Dec 24, 2010
566
0
0
MorganL4 said:
Anyone else immediately think Red Dwarf? Because the whole time that was all I could think of.
I know, right?
It's nowhere as good as RD, but it does show potential. Too bad new episodes don't come until April.

Also, I agree that with all the ads being shown recently my expectations were slightly higher, especially in the special effects department.
 

The Lugz

New member
Apr 23, 2011
1,371
0
0
So, you've basically re-made red dwarf?

this an interesting move escapist.. we'll see how it pans out allot better than some content you've had either way
 

dragonsshunter

New member
Dec 22, 2011
22
0
0
Ill keep watching, i love looking for all the little easter eggs. my favourite so far was the Reboot logo on their arms.
 

Keltrick

New member
Jun 7, 2010
108
0
0
Monoochrom said:
Fine

The effects are bad. I didn't want to say it, because it's obvious that they put effort into it, but they ended up with effects that obviously aren't real but are just good enough as to not get a pass by me.

The acting was stale

It wasn't funny, I didn't so much as smile. For instance, they could have had the Camera follow the Rebels for a moment longer to further underline how boring they are, that could have been funny. Seriously, if the joke is that they are so insignificant, then have the rebels practically become front and center the moment they enter, have them talk, have the janitors in the background talking to each other or generally being annoyed by the rebels, something like that. I get that Janitors are insignificant, simply pointing that out doesn't make it funny.

It didn't make much sense. So we have this go getter, who is just looking for a opportunity, yet when said opportunity presents itself he just stands there...yeah.

And the first shot also kind of annoyed me, it's obviously supposed to mirror Star Wars, the problem is that for the spray bottle to be in that perspective he would have to be holding it in a way that is anything but practical. Why would he do that if not to get that precise shot? It's as if they broke the fourth wall unintentionally.

You wanted me to be Nitpicky and go into detail, so there you have it.
I personally didn't think it sucked (wasn't enamored by it, but didn't think it sucked) but HERE are some good ideas.

Now that you point it out, the focus following the rebels for a bit longer down the corridor, getting the pace up and then suddenly breaking from the action back to the two janitors, back to just cleaning. That would have been priceless. A real missed opportunity for a sharp comedic contrast.
 

Odbarc

Elite Member
Jun 30, 2010
1,155
0
41
Better than I expected.
More Star Wars Janitors than Space Quest (Roger Wilco) for my tastes. We'll see episode 2 and such.
 

Adam Jensen_v1legacy

I never asked for this
Sep 8, 2011
6,651
0
0
That was pretty fun. I'm looking forward to some more.

Say, what happened to "Doraleus and Associates"? I used to lurk these boards and watch that show then suddenly it was gone.