Anyone who tries to use the "two wrongs don't make things right" on people who are abused or the ones being provoked really need to rethink their so called "values". Almost every time I've seen it used, it protects the bullies and assholes who want to keep being assholes. Punishing those defending the victims or the victims defending themselves.
See, this is the thing always. You ask to be treated like children but don't like the loss of respect that that entails.
You can either stand strong and do your best or you can ask someone to take it easy on you as you take a step back from their status. If you want to be treated equally and you lack the power to take it you still should do so anyways because that's actual equality. Anything else is charity and condescension.
Unlike the child, I expect you to know not to punch someone who'd hospitalize you with their reciprocation. If you're too dumb to be able to tell or expect them to treat you as special despite asking them to treat you with equality that's your fault at this point.
If someone has nothing else about themselves that they can found an identity or personality through, they substitute arbitrary traits like their race or sex for it. If you're a boring asshole but you're gay you're not just a gay boring asshole if you make being gay your defining characteristic, you're a gay person who has to live with all the difficulties of society like a valiant martyr. Such a thing is very appealing to people seeking attention.