The cake game

[Azraellod]

I disguise myself as one of your relatives, enter the room, and take the cake while mocking you for being unable to get up.

I place the cake in a store window, and leave a label on it saying Not For Sale.

 

[Sassafrass]

Well, seeing as it's not for sale, I just go in and take it.

I leave the cake in a pool full of syrup.

 

[Azraellod]

I get it out with a fishing rod.

I place the cake next to a sign that says Do Not Touch the Cake.

 

[Sassafrass]

I respect what the signs says and slide a shovel underneath to get the cake.

I then place the cake on a plane going to Timbuktu.

 

[Azraellod]

I hijack the plane and crash it into a building, diving out with the cake right before the impact.

I place the cake behind you.

 

[Sassafrass]

I don't realise it's there for a year and by the time I do, it's gone all mouldy.

I place the cake in a bin.

 

[Azraellod]

And a good thing too. It's time for a new one.

I bake a new cake, seal it in a plastic box, and throw it into a lake.

 

[Sassafrass]

I get the fish to carry it to the surface where I can receive it. Yeah, I can talk to fishes.

I place the cake slightly to the left of where you are now.

 

[Azraellod]

I... turn left and there it is. Hurray.

I place the cake inside your favorite hat.

 

[Sassafrass]

Seeing as I don't have any hats, you must have placed it somewhere else...I find where you place it and take it.

I place the cake in your nearest Lidl.

 

[Azraellod]

...where? I search around, and finally find a shop called Lidl, which I steal the cake from.

I place the cake on the other side of the cat flap.

 

[Sassafrass]

I put my hand through and grab the cake. Unfortunately for me, you were on the other side and cut off 2 fingers.

I place the now blood splattered cake in Davey Jones locker.

 

[Azraellod]

I sail my ship into the locker (I'm terrible at navigation, so it takes me a while), and get the cake. I then escape the locker with a portal gun.

I hold the cake behind my back and distract you with something shiny.

 

[Sassafrass]

Oh, look at the shiny shiny...

Hey, stop distracting me. I knock you down and grab the cake.

I place the cake in a pie.

 

[Earthbound Engineer]

I throw the pie at a clown who swallows it. The pie and the cake within it are digested and its "remnants" are flushed down the toilet.

 

[Dumbfish1]

I happen to be hiding in the sewer. Don't ask why.

I have the sewage covered cake in a secret vault on pandora.

 

[Sam G]

Pandora takes the cake off and hands it to me.

I put the cake in Pandora's box (that's not a euphamism).

 

[Earthbound Engineer]

You pass the sensors that activate the laser-guided missile systems on my satellites....needless to say, I now have the cake.

The satellite sucks in the cake and launches it into warp speed.

 

[SimpleChimp]

Threw a random accident, I Barry Allen, gain the ability to run at super speeds. I easily hit warp speed, grab the cake, and run at something called Super Fucking Fast

Leaving this plane of existence as we know it, I Barry Allen, enter a parallel universe where no one knows what cake is.

 

[Sam G]

You run into the realm of Cthulhu, who rips your limbs off and plays basketball with your carcass.

He then swallows the cake whole, where I, waiting patiently in his stomach, retrieve it!