The cake game

[Sassafrass]

Bad news for you, I also am in Cthulhu stomach and throw you in a pool of his stomach acid, which leads you to die a slow and painful death and leaves me free to grab the cake.

I escape Cthulhu (DO NOT ASK HOW!) and hide the cake in the Sasquatch Militia.

 

[SteakHeart]

I read the notepad on the cover, revealing to me how to find the cake.

I hide the cake on the set of Manhunt's snuff film.

 

[SimpleChimp]

Being a teenager i play man hunt one and two and decide to join in all the fun. i am convicted of murder and drafted into the snuff film. I find the cake and use it to murder you. Seeing what i have done i cry tears of the deepest remorse. The cake is dead.

Remembering the voodoo class i took in Jr. College i resurrect the cake into a ZOMBIE CAKE, the cake ironicly eats birthday kids and turns them into zombies who then revere and protect the cake like a GOD

 

[Earthbound Engineer]

I recruit Jack Thompson, who sues Rockstar, forcing them into bankruptcy, at which point I steal the virtual cake.

Edit:

I convince the zombie cake that it is a lie. Its zombie brain short-circuits and he collapses into himself like a neutron star. The radiation from this event turns every life form in the Universe into a cake.

I travel to another universe located on a separate dimensional plane and find the same cake, and using my magical powers, I poly morph the cake into a cat.

 

[Sam G]

I grab the cat, squish it into a cake-like shape, paint it to look like a cake, and voila! It's a cake!

I throw the cake at the next poster.

 

[Sven und EIN HUND]

I eat the cake, mmmmhmmmm.

The cake is sliding in portions down my esophagus

 

[Azraellod]

I rip you open and remove it, as always. It's repulsive now though, so I make a new one.

I place the new cake inside the glass clock.

 

[Sam G]

I smash it with a hammer. Wow, that was easy!

I freeze the cake in a block of ice.

 

[Azraellod]

I cut your head off and it becomes a gruesome attachment to the cake.

I place the cake in a cryogenics laboratory.

 

[Sam G]

I burn the lab down, defrosting the cake. I pluck Bryghtside's head off it and boot it off into the distance, then take the cake and throw it to mars.

 

[Azraellod]

I check to make sure Mars doesn't have a sandstorm going on, then I hijack a rocket from NASA and take it there to retrieve the cake.

I barricade the door of an empty room, leave the cake in there, and then teleport away.

 

[Sam G]

I build a wall at the exact spot where you were going to teleport, causing your mollecules to explode. I then take your teleportation device and use it to warp into the room.

I hide the cake in a mall. A very particular mall, full of idiots fighting...

 

[Azraellod]

I get up, brush off my rib-hole wounds and pick up my trusty old staple gun and golf club. I look down at the ground and spy a cake, but decide to just leave it there. Something told me that this cake had been through much hardship, but that that was someone else's story...

Got it.

I place the cake in a whirlpool.

 

[COR 2000]

I dive in, wind up in some godforsaken place resembling an ocean, then find a soggy cake and take it.

I place it right by Rush Limbaugh's mouth in order to heat up. Ba-Zing!

 

[Dumbfish1]

Unknown to you, Ba-Zing is the activation word to launch a nuclear blast on your position.

I retrieve the (now crispy) cake and hide it on the dark side of the sun

 

[Sam G]

I jump up and down on the haystack until it ignites. I then brave the flames and reclaim the cake.

I jam the cake into the Generator.

 

[heyheysg]

I use an ageing machine on him until all his hair drops off.

I pick up the Cake and put it in the 11th dimension

 

[Azraellod]

I use my portal gun to reach into there and retrieve the cake.

I place the cake behind a 10ft steel wall.