The cake game

[Sam G]

Uh... Can't.

I fly around the world on the back of a bomb whilst waving a cowboy hat at such a speed that the earth starts rotating bacwards, so time reverses. I travel to the excact moment that you made this post, but before you can post it, I pilot my bomb into your house, causing the internet to crash. I then wrench the cake from the grip of your charred remains.

I surgically open up a bear's chest and put the cake in it.

 

[Suikun]

I watch as the bear in question is mutilated, feeling horrified that you would so such a thing to a poor, helpless animal. In turn, I put some calls in to PETA, and while they're petitioning for your arrest on the grounds of animal cruelty, I take the bear home, luring it along with salmon, and put a call in to a vet to see if I can have the cake surgically removed, with all it's cake'd glory still in tact.

I begin to pet the bear's head like an evil villain's cat, plotting what to do with my new-found cake.

 

[Azraellod]

i snatch it from you while you are daydreaming what to do with it.

i place the cake on a lightening-rod in a storm.

 

[Sam G]

I equip a full-body rubber suit, and scale the lightning rod totally unscathed.

I bury the cake in a carnivorous pig field.

 

[Azraellod]

i kill them all with a mini-uzi and take the cake.

i place the cake in a sealed container that will explode if opened.

 

[COR 2000]

I lock-pick it and deactivate the explosives. What? I have 100 science, Lock-pick, and explosives, what do you expect?

Since you have the real one, I eat it again and have my COR 200 nano-creatures consume the remains, This time, however, I seal myself behind 12 sonic emitters and 12 AA batteries, in hopes no one will reach me.

 

[Azraellod]

i use a virus program to detect and extract the original cake from you, while deleting you from the hard drive. i then use the artificial cake to create a real cake, and strike the current one from the records.

i throw the cake into a volcano crater.

 

[NinjaSkills]

I send my lava monsters to get it again and to kick you in the face.

I hide the cake in Deadpool's pants

 

[Dumbfish1]

Turns out dead pool is me

I have the cake in my pants

 

[Dumbfish1]

I beat caboose to death with his own skull.

I hide the cake in the heart of the sun

 

[Sam G]

I send my girlfriend in to get it.

I then send my girlfriend, along with the cake, to the end of the universe.

 

[Crayzor]

I'm there waiting for her and persuade her to give it to me after explaining to her what an awful boyfriend she has for sending her to the end of the universe.

 

[Dumbfish1]

I turn into a ninja, smoke fills the air. a breeze comes in, blows the smoke away, but the cake is already gone.

3 blocks away, I turn back into a pirate, cake in hand.

 

[Azraellod]

i smash the pokeball open with a mallet.
i get you drunk by offering you rum until you can no longer resist my attempts to steal the cake and run.

i nail the cake to the back of your head.

 

[Dumbfish1]

After running round in circles for a bit I realize I getting nowhere and sit down.

I have the cake, although it's stuck to the back of my head