IrisEver said:
I like my women with a bit of fire to them. That being said, I don't like them to be douchebags or obnoxious, no more than I like the same in men. I've met many women who take the whole "strong and in-your-face" thing too far and then think it justified because they are women, when that same behaviour in men would be considered extremely rude.
As for the expectations, it's a complicated thing. For one thing, you use the word violent. Women are expected to be non-violent, that's true, but at the same time social norm prohibits violence toward women (to a greater degree than violence against men). And it's not just physical violence, it's agression in general - verbal agression, agressive attitude, etc.
So look at it from a male perspective - you aren't supposed to be agressive towards women, but there are women who are agressive towards you. If you respond to that agression in the same way you'd respont to a man doing the same, your behaviour will be considered inappropriate. So by and large, there is pressure on women to be less agressive to avoid such situations.
Example: You are a man. Another man walks up to you and punches you in the face. You punch him back. Sure, it's not a pretty situation, but you would likely be considered justified in your actions. Now, a woman walks up to you and punches you in the face. What do you do? Punch her? Congrats, you are now a prime target for every feminist in the world.
I agree that double standards should be done away with, but if you're fighting against double standards, make sure you're fighting against ALL double standars, even those that benefit you.
