Warning: Don't Play Dance Central Naked

[Zing]

Sure it got "hot".

I bet he was flirting with his Kinect. Voice recognition and all that.

 

[Soylent Dave]

If you read the recently updated Terms & Conditions of Xbox Live (like we ALL DID, obviously, because accepting something without reading it would be really stupid...), then you'll notice there are bits in there covering Kinect's voyeurism.

Specifically:

In the event you are using the console with Kinect, we may also collect data about the way in which you interact with the console and the Service to improve Microsoft products and services.

That's nice of them. I couldn't be more certain that nobody at microsoft would dream of using any of that data for wanking purposes.

The [Kinect] sensor gathers shape and depth, the camera can see colors and shapes, and the microphone can hear your voice commands, and these let Kinect enable gameplay by collecting the following categories of information:

[...]

Audio information - Voice Commands, Words and phrases used by the gamer to interact with the Kinect device and games or services on the device.

With your explicit consent, samples of voice commands and background noise occurring while using Kinect will be collected and periodically sent to Microsoft when you are on Xbox LIVE.

Obviously 'explicit consent' means 'you have to turn the option off'. And 'background noise' means 'anything the Kinect sensor can hear' - like private conversations in the same room, people who forget their xbox is on and have sex in the room (even if they're off camera they're still providing the audio)

Photographs: Kinect games may photograph you while you are engaging in game play.

Photograph you, and anyone else walking past the camera. Like your children, say. And of course, the camera is on whenever your xbox is on (unless you remember to specifically turn it off).

Biometric Sign-In - For Kinect, ?Biometric sign-in? means the shape and shading of your face in combination with its position on the skeleton

So now microsoft are holding my credit card details, my e-mail address, my date of birth, my home address and telephone number... and a biometric identifier?

It's a good job all that data is super secure and that even if it did go missing nobody could ever use it to make a fake passport and steal my identity.

Some Kinect machine information is also gathered for troubleshooting gamer sessions.

Ah, 'some'. That's nice and informative, then.

-

You know the bit in 1984 where everyone has a camera in their house? You know how that was both a terrifying vision of a nightmare dystopia and also something that could NEVER EVER HAPPEN?

Hmm. I'm going to go and invest in some tinfoil.

 

[De-Moti]

I am so not getting Kinect now.

 

[samsonguy920]

It's getting hot in here, so baby take off all your clothes...
That would be the cherry on the sundae if that was the song playing.

If I was this person I'd be checking to see what is being done with those pics without their sayso. Microsoft could be in some trouble here.

 

[Weaver]

Oh God it looks like VG cats was right all along!

 

[duchaked]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I have no real comment on this, because I nearly died laughing when I read it.

^pretty much that...man (and I thought people calling Kinect a "racist" was silly)

 

[crudus]

Your Xbox 360 will watch you dance, no matter what you're wearing. It will take pictures. What does it do with these pictures? No one knows. Maybe it browses through them at night. While you sleep.

Why does that sound like a tag line to some kind of Kinect-oriented horror-stalker movie?

Actually, it really sounds like Microsoft is going to turn this into a selling point with at least once game.

 

[pretentiousname01]

It's interesting to me to hear people automatically fault the user in this case. It's not microsofts fault for having a device that automatically takes pics. Or not having an interface that makes it easy to manage what you want to do with this function or the pics that it takes. Delete? Someone had to go to a forum to ask other users how to use this function, assuming it is a function.

perhaps I need to introduce you to the world at large. People are dumb.

I had a guy call up saying he just setup his kinect and it wasn't working. Turns out his system wasn't connected online. So he didn't get the new dash board. As he started getting irate I ask if he put the game that came with it in. Turns out he didn't. After being put on hold as he had to unshrink wrap it. He mentioned that it prompted him for an update.

I can almost guarantee that somewhere in, on around, with that box told him to do that. I can almost imagine that you could delete the pictures normally through the memory management part of your system.

Perhaps it shouldn't be an auto on feature. Regardless I'd bed dollars to donuts the paperwork is in there somewhere stating.

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

1st thought: why were you naked when in front of Kinect cameras?

2nd thought: Why the f**k are you using Kinect?!

 

[ShadowsofHope]

That is quite frankly very hilarious.

Phear the Kinect. Phear it good!

 

[Benny Blanco]

Spoiler: Just as the prophecy foretold...

Wow, dancin' naked, eh? S/He could have come up with a better excuse than "I was hot", I mean, we all know s/he just wanted to dance nekkid.

Alcohol. No doubt. That's how it goes when Rock Banding. One minute you're fully clothed, next your completely newd.

Yeah, but with Rock Band your musical instrument may cover your ahem... "instrument" (depending on the size of peripherals used and the nature and size of your naughty bits) and there is always the following excuse:

"We always go do this as a tribute to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Think the elastic must have gone in the gym sock."

 

[ffxfriek]

"xBox! Delete my naked dance photos."

"xBox... can you hear me?"

"xBox... why aren't you responding."

"xBox... please respond."

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

You good sir win 5 internets!

OT: this is one of the best reads in a long time. sooo funny

 

[WhiteTigerShiro]

Three pages of posts and I'm the only one who thought of this [http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=294] when I read that article?

 

[FlyAwayAutumn]

Don't play Dance Central naked....

Unless you're *Ahem* very proud of the goods down there *Cough, Cough*

 

[Lilani]

VG Cats called it. I have nothing more to add to this discussion.

Indeed they did. [http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=294]

 

[voetballeeuw]

Anyone else thinking Skynet is now active? Arnold isn't governor anymore, I think it's time he kicked some more robo ass.

OT: Damn it. My Saturday night is ruined.

 

[latenightapplepie]

But I do all my best dancing naked!

 

[RicoADF]

Surely they ask if you want the photos uploaded before they actually do it, right?

RIGHT?

Actually more and more stuff is going to automatic syncing with facebook etc bull crap.

 

[Lt. Vinciti]

Yeha thats not creepy in any sorta way


Kinect - BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU...

Dance
Adventure
Moar to come!

 

[unacomn]

VG Cats predicted this:
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=294