Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Using the totem with the ALCEHMITER creates.... THE JIHA VILLAGE JACKET! Made of the finest materials, it bears the symbol of team Dai-Gurren on its back, proudly proclaiming the dreams of those who have fallen and the hopes of those who will follow! Just who the hell do they think you are!

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>Xavier: Level up! Defeating the AMBER IMP promotes you to the rank of GREENTIKE. You collect 20 units of Build Grist, and 12 of Amber Grist.

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>Chas: As you enter your FATHER'S ROOM, you see... nothing out of the ordinary. Just a bed, a dresser, and a closet. Huh.

You briefly wonder why you thought the SBURB SERVER DISC would be in here. After all, you found the SBURB SEVER DISC in your FATHER'S BRIEFCASE a few pages back. Wait, what's a page?

Oh wait, there is one thing. Over in the corner, you see an unopened box. Prominently displayed on it is a message saying: WARNING. DO NOT OPEN. DANGEROUS PROTOTYPE WITHIN.

 

[senorcromas]

<spoiler=OOC> Okay, so a problem has arisen.

Somebody else took tenaciousConifer as a chumhandle? I have no idea how that happened. Why would they even want it?

Anyway, does anyone have any idea what I should do?

 

[Pappytech]

<spoiler=OOC> Okay, so a problem has arisen.

Somebody else took tenaciousConifer as a chumhandle? I have no idea how that happened. Why would they even want it?

Anyway, does anyone have any idea what I should do?

Spoiler: OOC

If Benndak's solution doesn't work, just make a new chumhandle.

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>Chas: As you open the box, a small explosion occurs. You are blasted across the room, and take a pretty big hit to your HEALTH VIAL. You're down to 66%.

Well, what did you expect? The box said DO NOT OPEN.

Wait, it looks like something is still in the box. Is that... could it be... You got a LASER FORK! It's a FORK! That's made of LASERS! For easier cutting you suppose! Wow, this thing seems incredibly impractical as an eating device.

 

[senorcromas]

<spoiler=OOC> Okay, so a problem has arisen.

Somebody else took tenaciousConifer as a chumhandle? I have no idea how that happened. Why would they even want it?

Anyway, does anyone have any idea what I should do?

Spoiler: OOC

Likely you left Pesterchum on somewhere. You can't have two instances running at the same time with the same username.

<spoiler=OOC> Ooooh. Okay. Thanks for the info!

Turns out it was on my laptop. CARRY ON.

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: Move stuff.
While Greg sears your RETINAS and CREATES NEW FRIENDS, you try to move his STUFF around to try and fit in these FREE DOODADS. It seems as though the COUCH is going to have to go.

>: Careful, now.
Oh, please. You lost control once, sure, but that was the past! You are a much more mature and careful individual now. You CAREFULLY accidentally toss the COUCH to the ROOF. Carefully.

>: Place TOTEM LATHE.
Now, just place the 'TOTEM LATHE' there, and... done! Perfect, if you say so yourself. This ALCHEMITER, though... it's so big. It couldn't possibly fit in the room. You put it in the NEXT ROOM OVER, solving any potential SPACE ISSUES. Still, it sure would have been silly of you to put it somewhere INCONVENIENT, like RIGHT IN FRONT OF A DOOR OR SOMETHING. That would have been EXTRA SILLY WITH A SIDE OF COLESLAW, if you do say so yourself.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Look at new items

After the blinding light from the PCHOOOOOOOO settles,your KENERLSPRITE is now a DUMMYSPRITE.
Pretty much what you had hoped though you do hope that there is some NINJA in there,but you will have to wait and see.After quick look around the LIVING ROOM you see that Rich has deployed the TOTEM LATHE....right where your couch had been.Seeing that no walls are broken you figure he must have deleted it.Drat.Oh well,better that then your BOOKSHELVES FULL OF BOOKS.

You hear things being moved in the kitchen,and after a quick check,find that Rich has deployed the ALCHEMITER in the KITCHEN...in front of the fridge.Well looks like this mostly empty room came in use for something.You do hope you don't have to eat or drink later.

Now all Rich needs to do is deploy the PRE-PUNCHED CARD and you will be set to start into your own WEIRD PLOT SHIT.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Wear your Jacket with pride!

You wear the JIHA VILLAGE JACKET, and become likely the HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE. Which isn't hard, because the rest of the people that are still alive are likely your FRIENDS trying very hard not to die. You decide the next logical step is to make more CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS. You take your LUCKY STAR CARD out of the SYLLADEX, making it blank again, and punch it. You then take the TOTEM to the ALCHEMITER and decide to make an extra 10 CARDS, if possible.

 

[Pappytech]

Spoiler: Updated Stats

Alright, figured I'd finally get organized and upload people's stats. Here we go.

Chas: Level 7 Kid Trainee. Health Vial 73%. Grist Limit: 150.

Grist Cache:
Build: 101.
Chalk: 47.
Shale: 38.
Amber: 16.

Boondollars: 15875.



Dirk: Level 5 Plucky Kid. Health Vial 82%. Grist Limit: 350.

Grist Cache:
Build: 220.
Chalk: 42.
Shale: 60.
Amber: 12.

Boondollars: 7875.



Xavier: Level 2 Greentike. Health Vial 100%. Grist Limit: 2050.

Grist Cache:
Build: 2024.
Amber: 12.

Boondollars: 375.

And, that's everyone who's entered the Medium so far. Alright, putting actual content in my next post.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: Your most recent IMP massacre has increased your level and Grist Caches again.

As you begin to install the SBURB SERVER DISC, you begin to feel a strange rumbling. It's not nearly as strong as the one that you felt being transported to the Medium, but you can feel it all the same.

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>Rich: As you place the TOTEM LATHE and ALCHEMITER, you also take a look at Greg's PRE-PUNCHED CARD. It appears to be... an ARCHERY TARGET.

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>Dirk: You successfully expand your SYLLADEX with 10 new CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS.

As you have fun with your alchemizing, you see a few IMPS hanging around. They're pointing and laughing at your HEADBAND.

Spoiler: OOC

Man, page 7? Already? Awesome.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Spoiler: OOC

Jegus, who'd I get so much grist?

 

[Pappytech]

Spoiler: OOC

Jegus, who'd I get so much grist?

Spoiler: Explanation

Every time a new player joins the chain, they get 10x as much Build Grist as the last player did. So, Greg has access to 20,000 Build Grist, and Beth 200,000.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Spoiler: OOC

Makes sense.

> Xavier: Lick your enemy's blood off your knife
I do so.
Victory tastes like-

> ==>
[HEADING=1]BLUH![/HEADING]
Like tomato sauce and dirt! Why the fuck did you do that?!

> Mage, help your blond friend
Who, Beth? She might not have a server yet, you better check.

> Xavier: Pester Beth

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- lionizedAnon [LA] began pestering avouLeance [AL] at 11:59 --
[12:00] LA: Blondie
[12:00] AL: Hey
[12:00] LA: You have a sever yet?
[12:00] AL: Apparently there's something i have to do
[12:00] LA: ?
[12:00] AL: I'm on but winston's saying there's something i have to do
[12:00] LA: Ok...
[12:00] LA: What?
[12:01] AL: Make a sprite or something
[12:01] LA: Oh the sprite!!!1
[12:01] LA: Don't use something stupid...
[12:01] AL: And other stuff apparently
[12:01] LA: Like an Oprah bust...
[12:01] LA: You have a sever yet/
[12:01] LA: ?
[12:01] AL: Could win do it?
[12:01] AL: I'm not sure
[12:01] LA: Sure.
[12:01] LA: No prob
[12:02] AL: I mean winston
[12:02] AL: He could work right?
[12:02] LA: I mean no.
[12:02] AL: Why not?
[12:02] LA: No he can't
[12:02] LA: It has to be someone from far away.
[12:02] AL: I trust him
[12:02] LA: You don't trust me?
[12:02] AL: No i mean winston as my sprite
[12:02] LA: Oh,
[12:02] LA: Perfect.
[12:03] AL: He seems to know hos stuff
[12:03] LA: Your gonna need something else too, y'know.
[12:04] AL: What will i need?
[12:04] AL: Tell me everything
[12:04] LA: Um...
[12:04] LA: The sprite thingy...
[12:04] LA: The platform thingy...
[12:04] LA: The desk thingy...
[12:04] AL: How do i make these anyway?
[12:05] LA: I have to make em
[12:05] AL: Oh ok
[12:05] LA: Or, place them rather
[12:05] LA: So...
[12:05] LA: It set.
[12:05] AL: Tell me when there their for me to use
[12:05] LA: Awesome
[12:05] LA: Oh wait.
[12:05] AL: yh?
[12:05] LA: I have to give the server!!!1
[12:05] LA: Hang on.
[12:05] AL: Ok sure
[12:06] AL: I'll be right back
[12:06] LA: Connor_is_uncool
[12:06] LA: the password is "uncoolguysix"
[12:06] LA: Don't ask.
[12:06] AL: Ok sure
[12:06] LA: Sign in
[12:07] AL: Just a sec
[12:07] LA: K
-- avouLeance [AL] ceased pestering lionizedAnon [LA] at 12:11 --
-- avouLeance [AL] changed their mood to OFFLINE &#65532; --

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Stare down imps

Spoiler

What the fuck are THEY staring at? Certainly not YOU. CERTAINLY NOT YOUR HEADBAND. Do they even know who they are fucking dealing with? Do they know how AWESOME you are? You are SO AWESOME, nobody will even notice that your T-SHIRT is now GRAY. You are so AWESOME that you will take it upon yourself to personally show these IMPS why nobody messes with the DIRK.

>Dirk: Teach those inky bastards a lesson

You decide it's time to make a new WEAPON. Though it pains you do so, you take your friend's advice.

Spoiler

You fill out a D&D CHARACTER SHEET of yourself, with the most badass stats possible for a LEVEL 5 CHARACTER. You give him a special HOMEBREW CLASS called THE INK SLAYER, dedicated to fighting and beating the ever-loving shit out of creatures found within SBURB.

You then toss it in a LUCKY STAR CAPTCHALOGUE CARD, being just vaguely nerdy enough to fit the show, and punch it alongside your RAD KATANA. A trip to the ALCHEMITER later and PCHOOOOOOOO

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Be pestered by Beth

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- avouLeance [AL] began pestering lionizedAnon [LA] at 14:22 --
[02:27] AL: Hey
[02:27] AL: again
[02:28] LA: Hey
[02:28] AL: Is the stuff ready for me?
[02:28] LA: Not yet.
[02:28] LA: You ready?
[02:28] AL: I am yeah
[02:28] LA: Awesome, I'll pop in the disk
[02:28] AL: Ok cool

> Xavier: Pop in the disk
I do so.
DO-DO-DO-DODODODO-DO-DO-DO-DODODODO-.

> Xavier: Continue your talk with Beth

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[02:29] LA: Ok, you need to pop in the player disk and join my server.
[02:31] AL: I think I've auto connected some how
[02:31] LA: Well, that's weird...
[02:32] AL: But yeah auto connected
[02:32] LA: Huh...
[02:32] LA: So just join the server
[02:32] AL: Then?
[02:33] LA: Then I set the thingys and we're set.
[02:33] AL: Ok Tell me when
[02:33] LA: K
[02:33] LA: Just join
[02:33] AL: I aleready joined
[02:33] LA: Oh.
[02:34] LA: I feel stupid.
[02:34] AL: It ok
[02:34] LA: All righty then time to set up some thingys!!!1
[02:34] AL: Cool
[02:34] AL: You have any little brothers or sisters?
[02:34] LA: No, why?
[02:35] AL: Just wondered
[02:35] LA: You?
[02:35] AL: Completly hypothetically
[02:35] AL: No I'm an only child
[02:35] LA: Me too.
[02:35] LA: Is it cool if I put the platform-y thing in the kitchen?
[02:35] AL: You spend any time with small children?
[02:36] AL: Kitchen
[02:36] AL: oh right
[02:36] AL: Yeah sure
[02:36] LA: ...Define small,
[02:36] AL: Likr toddlers or babies?
[02:36] AL: Just wondering

> Xavier: Put the platform thingy in the kitchen
I do so.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[02:36] LA: Not really.
[02:36] AL: Just wondering
[02:36] AL: It's not like it's importnant or anything
[02:37] AL: I wonder if winston has any
[02:37] LA: If you say so.
[02:37] LA: There's a lot you don't know about him huh/
[02:37] LA: ?
[02:37] AL: There kinda is
[02:37] LA: I feel your pain
[02:37] AL: What have i told you about him?
[02:38] LA: ....
[02:38] LA: You said he was really smart once.
[02:38] AL: Oh yeah

> Xavier: Put the sprite thingy in her room
I do so.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[02:38] AL: Well he's pratical at least
[02:39] AL: I don#t even know if he is the word
[02:39] AL: Ignore that
[02:39] LA: I placed a sprite thingy in your room.
[02:39] AL: Ok thanks
[02:39] AL: So you think winston will make a good guide?
[02:39] LA: Yeah!!!1
[02:39] LA: Better than Oprah...
[02:40] AL: Who?
[02:40] LA: The talk show host?
[02:40] AL: What show?
[02:40] LA: Oprah.
[02:40] AL: You mean on tv right?
[02:40] LA: Yeah.
[02:40] LA: Wow what rock have you been under?
[02:40] AL: Oh then i wouldn't know it
[02:40] AL: And i'm not under a rock
[02:41] LA: Suuuuuuuuure your not
[02:41] AL: Just because i don't know who some guy is
[02:41] LA: Woman
[02:41] AL: Yes
[02:41] AL: I have a name you know?
[02:41] LA: No, she's a woman.
[02:41] LA: Beth.
[02:41] AL: Oh
[02:41] AL: ok
[02:42] -- lionizedAnon [LA] snickers at AL --
[02:42] AL: Hey Just because i don't know one obscuse person
[02:42] LA: She's very famous
[02:42] AL: Is she?
[02:43] LA: Yes she is
[02:43] AL: Why?
[02:43] AL: Did she invent something?
[02:43] LA: She has a talk show.
[02:43] LA: That's it
[02:43] AL: Oh
[02:43] AL: ok
[02:43] AL: So you know anything about children?

> Xavier: Put the spinny thing in the bathroom
I do so.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[02:44] LA: I know there a lot to handle.
[02:44] AL: Oh ok
[02:44] LA: I place the spinny thing in your bathroom.
[02:44] AL: Ok
[02:44] AL: Thanks
[02:45] LA: Why so many questions about kids?
[02:45] AL: NO RESASON
[02:45] AL: sorry]
[02:45] LA: ....
[02:45] AL: I snaped there didn't o
[02:45] AL: but really no reason
[02:46] LA: Suuuuuuuuuure.
[02:46] AL: What are you implying?
[02:46] LA: Nothing, nothing
[02:46] AL: ok
[02:46] LA: (PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD)
[02:46] AL: (Actually no)
[02:46] AL: (definatly no)
[02:46] LA: I'm kidding
[02:47] AL: Just cause I'm a girl you assume it's some girl thing
[02:47] LA: ...
[02:47] AL: which it most certinally isn't
[02:47] LA: God, why did I say?
[02:47] AL: So is it just us?
[02:48] LA: Hm?
[02:48] AL: This metaor stuff is bad right
[02:48] LA: Yes, you gotta go quick.
[02:48] AL: So we are the only people on earth?
[02:49] LA: Well I think I used to live around are dead...
[02:49] LA:
[02:49] AL: And it's all guys appart from me?
[02:49] LA: Yup.
[02:49] AL: And winston
[02:49] AL: Dam
[02:49] LA: Far as I know.
[02:49] LA: Connor might be a girl.
[02:49] AL: Really
[02:50] AL: oh
[02:50] AL: and if he isn't?
[02:50] LA: Yeah, he told me once.
[02:50] LA: It'd be weird.
[02:50] AL: Ok
[02:50] AL: So

> Xavier: Place the desk thingy
I do so.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[02:51] LA: And the Desk thingy is set!!!1
[02:51] LA: And that's everything!!!1@
[02:51] AL: But yeah
[02:51] LA: Hm?\
[02:51] AL: Do i have to spell it out?
[02:52] LA: I guess so.
[02:52] AL: Well if it's just us in the whole world
[02:52] LA: Oh......
[02:52] AL: Yeah
[02:52] LA: OH...............
[02:52] LA: ...
[02:52] LA: You got the shit job, huh.
[02:53] AL: I don't know
[02:53] AL: winston could be
[02:53] LA: I don't know either.
[02:53] LA: Just a couple of minutes ago, I killed a little demon thing.
[02:53] LA: There might be more out here than we know.
[02:54] AL: Think you'r charming enought?
[02:54] LA: I made you make me your server player didn't I?
[02:54] AL: I guess maybe
[02:54] LA:
[02:55] LA: But if push comes to shove,
[02:55] LA: You'll find a way to make you not the bearer.
[02:55] AL: Maybe i could build one
[02:55] LA: ?
[02:55] LA: A woman?
[02:55] AL: Wouldn't need the wole woman
[02:56] LA: O_O
[02:56] AL: But never mind
[02:56] LA: Um...
[02:56] LA: Yeah...
[02:56] AL: Maybe what ever winston is could be well
[02:56] LA: ...
[02:56] LA: He's not human?
[02:57] AL: Well
[02:57] AL: Like i said i don't even know if he is the word
[02:57] LA: Huh...
[02:58] LA: Weird.
[02:58] AL: Yeah
[02:58] AL: Don't tell the others
[02:58] LA: You're secret is safe with me.
[02:58] AL: Thanks
[02:58] LA: No prob.
[02:59] AL: Something gives me the idea we aren't incompatible
[02:59] LA: ...
[02:59] LA: Are you hitting on me?
[02:59] AL: No i meant me and winston
[02:59] LA: ....
[02:59] LA: Akward
[02:59] AL: Or winston and humans
[02:59] AL: Maybe he's your trype
[03:00] LA: Maybe...
[03:01] AL: So
[03:01] LA: Oh right!!!1
[03:01] AL: Well at least I'm not going to be the ones fighting over me
[03:01] LA: True...
[03:02] LA: It's gonna be diffuclt for the guys.
[03:02] AL: Yeah
[03:03] LA: ...
[03:03] LA: Oh yeah the game.
[03:03] AL: Yeah that
[03:03] LA: Go to your room and hit the thingy with something heavy,
[03:04] AL: Would the whatever it is be heavy enought?
[03:04] LA: Hm?
[03:05] LA: The what?
[03:05] AL: You know the whatever it is
[03:05] AL: That thing i made but can't name?
[03:05] AL: The fire laser
[03:05] LA: You have a fire laser?
[03:05] LA: Awesome.
[03:05] AL: I may or may not have a fire laser
[03:05] LA: Awesome.
[03:06] AL: Basically it fires hydrogen ions using magnets and sets them on fire
[03:06] AL: So yeah
[03:06] AL: I shoots fire beams
[03:06] LA: Fucking
[03:06] LA: Awesome
[03:06] LA: How much does it weight?
[03:06] AL: Yeah I made it last summer
[03:07] AL: Hard to say
[03:07] AL: It's pretty heavy
[03:07] LA: Yeah, that's it should be good.
[03:07] AL: Sure
[03:08] AL: I'll brb
[03:09] AL: brb
[03:13] AL: Hey
[03:13] LA: Your back.
[03:13] AL: Sorry had to inject again
[03:13] LA: K
[03:13] LA: Wait what.
[03:13] LA: Medicine?
[03:13] AL: Yeah
[03:13] LA: Ah.
[03:14] LA: So, where that hydrant/
[03:14] AL: Hydrant?
[03:14] AL: There won't be one for miles
[03:14] LA: The fire thingy?
[03:14] AL: Yeah i know
[03:14] LA: Ah.
[03:14] LA: So...
[03:14] AL: and I live about a hour or so away from any civilisation
[03:14] LA: Oh!!!1
[03:14] AL: So nothing's here
[03:15] LA: That makes sense!!!1
[03:15] AL: But yeah It's medicne
[03:15] AL: Don't worry it's not serious
[03:15] LA: Ok
[03:15] AL: I bought a bacterial collony to help
[03:15] LA: Ok
[03:15] AL: So i have pretty much unending supply
[03:16] AL: The marzels of genetic engerinering
[03:16] LA: K
[03:16] LA: Genetic engeriering?
[03:16] AL: Yeah
[03:16] LA: Huh.
[03:17] AL: they took out the insulin producing genes from a normal person and put it into some germs
[03:17] AL: So now I have my onw factory
[03:17] LA: Huh, sounds cool.
[03:17] AL: Yeah
[03:17] LA: Awesome!!!1
[03:18] AL: Yeah
[03:18] AL: And i only need to inject once a day
[03:18] LA: Ok,
[03:18] LA: But back to the game.
[03:18] AL: yeah
[03:18] LA: You need to drop something heavy on the thingy in your room.
[03:18] AL: Which i have
[03:19] AL: The whatever ir is
[03:19] LA: K
[03:19] LA: (K)
[03:19] AL: Well I'll go do that now]
-- avouLeance [AL] ceased pestering lionizedAnon [LA] at 15:20 --

 

[Pappytech]

>Xavier: While you help get Beth set up TEDDYSPRITE hovers around you. When he sees you're doing something important, he wanders off. You suppose he'll come back later when things have calmed down a bit.

As you look at Beth's PRE-PUNCHED CARD, you see that it appears to have a FLOWER on it.

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>Dirk: You have no idea what you're making, but it looks FREAKING AMAZING. The bad news is, it costs about 20,000 Build Grist, 50,000 Shale Grist, and 25,000 Amber Grist. It's gonna take awhile to get that much.

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>Beth: Dropping the WHATEVER-IT-IS on the CRUXTRUDER pops the lid open, releasing a black KERNALSPRITE and a black CRUXTRITE DOWL.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Seek another weapon type!

OK, that looks incredible, but it's not happening you guess. What a waste of your fucking time. Undeterred, you seek SOMETHING ELSE to alchemize.

Wait a minute. You have SUCH AN AWESOME IDEA. You rush to your room and open up a trunk full of random anime memorabilia, and come up with a single handgun. The gun that "belonged" to SPIKE SIEGEL from COWBOY BEBOP. You insert the rest of your CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS, and by luck one of your cards is labeled COWBOY BEBOP! What luck you're having with this thing today. You punch the SPIKE'S HANDGUN card along with your RAD KATANA and bring the resulting totem to the ALCHEMITER.

PCHOOOOOOOO again!