Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Pester friends

As much fun as you're having with the senseless slaughter of these IMPS, you feel you should really get some stuff done. You pull up PESTERCHUM on your SIS' phone to try and find someone to talk to. It appears that CONNOR and BETH are both online. After almost THREE SECONDS of thought you pick CONNOR to PESTER.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[01:48] -- stabsSalesman [SS] began pestering backroomSix [BS] at 13:48 --
[01:48] BS: OMG PLEASE HELP ME
[01:48] BS: I'M GONNA DIE
[01:48] SS: =]=> Whoa hey man I was just checking in on how you were doing with the not getting crushed by meteors thing
[01:48] SS: =]=> I guess I came just in time
[01:48] SS: =]=> So what's the issue
[01:49] BS: the not getting crushed my meteor thing is not going well...
[01:49] SS: =]=> And why's that
[01:49] SS: =]=> You got a server player yet
[01:49] BS: I am a server player
[01:49] SS: =]=> Yeah but
[01:49] SS: =]=> Do you have one
[01:49] SS: =]=> Somebody to save your sorry ass from the meteors
[01:49] BS: Can you?
[01:50] BS: Please say yes
[01:50] SS: =]=> No I'm Chas' server player
[01:50] SS: =]=> You can only do it for one I think
[01:50] SS: =]=> BUT
[01:50] BS: CHAS, that it!
[01:50] SS: =]=> I don't think Chas has anybody yet
[01:50] BS: GREAT
[01:50] SS: =]=> So see if you can get ahold of him
[01:50] BS: Gonna mesage him now, bbe
[01:50] SS: =]=> All right good luck with the meteor
[01:51] SS: =]=> I'm just gonna get back to murdering these crazy ink creatures
[01:52] -- backroomSix [BS] ceased pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 13:52 --

Despite what you said, you don't really feel like SLAUGHTERING IMPS right now. Instead you go and check on Chas. You see to your surprise that he is... making items on the ALCHEMITER. Hey, that looks FUN! You'd like to do that, but you don't have access to those items. You attempt to contact your SERVER PLAYER.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[02:05] -- stabsSalesman [SS] began pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 14:05 --
[02:07] SS: =]=> Hey GK you there
[02:07] SS: =]=> Needed to talk about something
[02:07] GK: Yes...barely
[02:07] SS: =]=> Barely
[02:07] SS: =]=> Why barely
[02:08] GK: I'm still out of it and Rich is moving stuff around
[02:08] SS: =]=> Ah
[02:08] GK: What do you need?Seems you have been going a bit....kill crazy if your house is anything to go by >.>
[02:09] SS: =]=> Well yeah it's about time somebody taught those imps to stay out of my house
[02:09] SS: =]=> I'm amazed any are even left
[02:09] SS: =]=> You'd think my sis would be laying the smackdown
[02:09] SS: =]=> But the reason I contacted you was Chas
[02:09] GK: Problem?
[02:10] SS: =]=> Looks like he's making all sorts of items and shit on his Alchemitor (ter or however the hell you spell it)
[02:10] SS: =]=> Just made this awesome axe
[02:10] SS: =]=> And I'm thinking I should get to trying that too but I don't think I have all the items
[02:10] SS: =]=> Are there any others you can put down
[02:10] GK: I see.Well let me see what i can do
[02:11] GK: Seems for the moment I can deploy this "Alchemiter"
[02:12] GK: I might have to deploy that to unlock the other items
[02:15] GK: Hmm seems to me i deployed that item already...however it says I can deploy something called a "Punch Designix"
[02:15] SS: =]=> Yeah it looks like he is using that
[02:16] SS: =]=> Just set that down anywhere
[02:16] GK: I will deploy it next to your other things
[02:16] GK: And done
[02:17] GK: Seems there are oth things I could build....if they didn't cost so much :/
[02:17] SS: =]=> Well I think I know how to solve that issue
[02:17] SS: =]=> Time to MURDER SHIT
[02:17] GK: Yes good luck with that
[02:18] SS: =]=> Anyways thanks for the help
[02:18] SS: =]=> Good luck with whatever you've been up to
[02:18] GK: Glad to help,I hope to be join you in...where ever you are...soon
[02:18] SS: =]=> All right sounds good
[02:18] SS: =]=> Back to the grind I guess
[02:19] -- stabsSalesman [SS] ceased pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 14:19 --

LIFE is GOOD.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Look out the window
All you see is endless clouds and falling feathers, it so peaceful and beautiful; its almost as this is the resting place for lost souls, you gotta tell someone about this.

> Xavier: Pester Connor

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[6:09]LA: Connor!

> ==>
My phone dies.
Sonofabitch!

> Xavier: Throw phone is disgust
I do so.
Lousy goddamn technology!

Xavier: Use your Father's computer
I do so.
Looks like Father has a new woman on his hands.

> Xavier: Read what she wrote
"hey cutie
just checkin out your profile, i think ur pretty cute.
write me back k "
Wait, the hell are you doing!? You have no time for random bitches!

> Xavier: Download Pesterchum and pester someone
I do so.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[06:37] -- lionizedAnon [LA] began pestering backroomSix [BS] at 18:37 --
[06:37] LA: Connor!!!1
[06:37] LA:
[06:37] BS: God i'm going to die!!!!
[06:37] LA: Everything beatiful now!!!1
[06:37] BS: there is a medior coming at my house!
[06:37] LA: Wait what
[06:37] BS: I'M GONNA DIE!
[06:37] LA: Oh you started the game!!!1
[06:38] LA: Who's your server?
[06:38] BS: I didn't start playing yet, I need a server hoster
[06:38] BS: Waiting on chas
[06:38] BS: Deal god, this is taking forever.
[06:38] LA: Well...
[06:38] LA: I could...
[06:39] -- lionizedAnon [LA] writhes in disgust --
[06:39] LA: Be your server
[06:39] -- backroomSix [BS] gasph --
[06:39] LA: Yeah...
[06:39] LA: That would hurt both of us.,,
[06:40] BS: ...It's needed
[06:40] BS: I don't want to die
[06:40] BS: But I am gonna have to trust you.
[06:40] LA: ....
[06:40] -- lionizedAnon [LA] pukes --
[06:40] BS: Make a server and a password, I'll join.
[06:40] LA: You helped me, I guess I have to
[06:40] LA: I hate this.
[06:40] BS: Don't think I want to put my life in your hands ether
[06:41] -- lionizedAnon [LA] changed their mood to DISTRAUGHT --
[06:41] -- lionizedAnon [LA] ceased pestering backroomSix [BS] at 18:41 --

> ==>
You hate yourself, any good feeling you had has just up and left.

> Xavier: Make the goddamn server or something
You make an server and call it "Connor_is_uncool" and make the password "uncoolguysix"

(lololololololol)

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Wait patiently

You wait while Rich sets up the items you will need to avoid meteoric death,the bright orange KERNELSPRITE floating beside you.As you watch Rich make more of a mess of your LIVING ROOM you hear a beep on your PDA,telling you that a CHUM is pestering you.You look down to see that it is your CLIENT PLAYER.It would appear he needs you on your PC,so before you answer him you head back into your room,the KERNELSPRITE following behind you.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[02:05:03] -- stabsSalesman [SS] began pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 14:05 --
[02:07:42] SS: =]=> Hey GK you there
[02:07:46] SS: =]=> Needed to talk about something
[02:07:49] GK: Yes...barely
[02:07:56] SS: =]=> Barely
[02:07:57] SS: =]=> Why barely
[02:08:05] GK: I'm still out of it and Rich is moving stuff around
[02:08:22] SS: =]=> Ah
[02:08:52] GK: What do you need?Seems you have been going a bit....kill crazy if your house is anything to go by >.>
[02:09:11] SS: =]=> Well yeah it's about time somebody taught those imps to stay out of my house
[02:09:16] SS: =]=> I'm amazed any are even left
[02:09:25] SS: =]=> You'd think my sis would be laying the smackdown
[02:09:39] SS: =]=> But the reason I contacted you was Chas
[02:09:47] GK: Problem?
[02:09:59] SS: =]=> Looks like he's making all sorts of items and shit on his Alchemitor (ter or however the hell you spell it)
[02:10:09] SS: =]=> Just made this awesome axe
[02:10:22] SS: =]=> And I'm thinking I should get to trying that too but I don't think I have all the items
[02:10:30] SS: =]=> Are there any others you can put down
[02:10:37] GK: I see.Well let me see what i can do
[02:11:56] GK: Seems for the moment I can deploy this "Alchemiter"
[02:12:14] GK: I might have to deploy that to unlock the other items
[02:14:59] GK: Hmm seems to me i deployed that item already...however it says I can deploy something called a "Punch Designix"
[02:15:51] SS: =]=> Yeah it looks like he is using that
[02:16:00] SS: =]=> Just set that down anywhere
[02:16:11] GK: I will deploy it next to your other things
[02:16:17] GK: And done
[02:17:11] GK: Seems there are oth things I could build....if they didn't cost so much :/
[02:17:23] SS: =]=> Well I think I know how to solve that issue
[02:17:37] SS: =]=> Time to MURDER SHIT
[02:17:47] GK: Yes good luck with that
[02:18:04] SS: =]=> Anyways thanks for the help
[02:18:11] SS: =]=> Good luck with whatever you've been up to
[02:18:30] GK: Glad to help,I hope to be join you in...where ever you are...soon
[02:18:48] SS: =]=> All right sounds good
[02:18:52] SS: =]=> Back to the grind I guess
[02:19:19] -- stabsSalesman [SS] ceased pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 14:19 --

That should keep him out of trouble for awhile.However he has peeked your INTEREST and once Rich is done you definitely want to play around with this ALCHEMITER.Once you're safe from the IMPENDING METEORS of course.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor:Connect to Xavier's server.

FUUUUUUUUUUUU, you can't. This sucks. You pester Chas.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- backroomSix [BS] began pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 06:25 --
BS: CHAS
BS: Cool guy chas!
BS: Did I ever say how cool you are?
BS: Your really damn cool
SS: dude i'm sort of laying the smackdown on some little sax-loving assholes right now.
SS: my fork is COVERED in imp chunks.
BS: ...I'll predend I didn't hear that
SS: mostly bits of eye.
BS: Anyways, please be my server!
BS: I'm gonna die!
SS: i don't like you like that, man, we've been over this!
SS: haha, just kidding.
BS: So you'll instul the server disk and make a server and stuff?
SS: i would love to be your server player, but i don't actually think i ever got my server disk.
BS: FUUUUUUUUUUUU
SS: oh, man, i hope some deus ex machina stuff doesn't drop it into my hands.
BS: I'm gonna die
SS: like, the next imp i kill might have eaten it.
SS: OH WAIT
SS: it might be in my dad's room!
BS: Can you get it?
SS: and i think dirk can break through the wall with my bathtub.
BS: Well have him do that!
BS: Mesage me when you do!
SS: sure, okay. let me just alchemize my shit into some seriously sweet duds.
SS: i am going to be like the salesman to the gods of motherfucking olympus.
BS: That medior is getting pretty close chas
BS: pretty fucking close
SS: zeus would be up in my grill trying to get a pinch of my velvet fucking suit.
BS: Yeah, I'm doomed
SS: it will have a little pocket square, too.
SS: oh shit, man, my mouth is pretty much watering.
SS: but i've got to kill more dudes first.
BS: Ether I get a ass hole like Xavier to kill me with my own stuff, or I get ingnored to dead by ass hole with bad taste in music and outfits
BS: This sucks
BS: bbe
-- backroomSix [BS] ceased pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 06:30 --

>==>

Well your fucked. You head up to the roof with your lap top and sit next to your dad at the edge and offer him some nachos. THIS! SUCKS!

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Watch Chas

Spoiler

Oh HOLY SHIT, you can COMBINE ITEMS? That is so amazing you are going to do that as soon as possible. But before you accomplish that, you are interrupted by someone UNEXPECTED.

Spoiler: Show pesterlog

[06:39] -- unopressedAgitator [UA] began pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 18:39 --
[06:39] UA: hEy mAN
[06:40] UA: just scopiNG out thE lot of you hERE
[06:40] SS: =]=> Yeah that's what I've been hearing
[06:40] UA: sEE youvE bEEN whoopiNG somE sERious ARsE with thAt blAdE of youRs i mEAN dAmN
[06:40] SS: =]=> Yeah don't even remind me
[06:40] SS: =]=> I might even blow my own mind
[06:40] SS: =]=> Those moves were so fucking sick
[06:41] UA: totAlly fuckiNG sick dudE
[06:41] UA: thouGh youR GuARdiAN GAvE you tRoublE just Now why doNt you just bEAt hER iNto submissioN?
[06:41] SS: =]=> You mean my sis
[06:42] UA: whAts A sis?
[06:42] SS: =]=> You know
[06:42] SS: =]=> A kid from the same parents as you
[06:42] SS: =]=> Except this one's twenty and a psycho *****
[06:43] UA: uh i doNt REAlly GEt it but okAy
[06:43] SS: =]=> Is english not your first language or something
[06:43] UA: Not REAlly No
[06:43] SS: =]=> All right well the point is you mean the girl living with me right
[06:43] UA: yEs thE fEmAlE
[06:44] SS: =]=> OK well let me tell you something important
[06:44] SS: =]=> No matter how sick and badass my moves may have been on those imps
[06:44] SS: =]=> My sis can--and has-- beaten me eight ways to fucking sunday without even looking at me
[06:44] SS: =]=> She can wave hello and knock the wind out of you with the buffeting
[06:45] SS: =]=> And even if I was stronger than her which I am sadly not I am not quite enough of a monster as her to do that to a sibling
[06:45] UA: wEll sEEiNG As you didNt fREAk out whEN A lowblood cAmE AwAviN' ANd youRE hidiNG bEhiNd ANoNimousity i cAN oNly GuEss youR blood is REd RiGht
[06:46] UA: ANd i AlwAys hElp out A fEllow lowblood
[06:46] SS: =]=> Well yeah my blood's red
[06:46] SS: =]=> But everybody's blood is red
[06:46] UA: hA! yEAh somEtimEs it sEEms likE thAt
[06:46] SS: =]=> I don't see why it's a big deal
[06:46] SS: =]=> Hm
[06:46] UA: NEithER do i bRothER but somE sEAbloods fuck with us somEtimEs
[06:46] SS: =]=> You're talking some weird shit man lowbloods and seabloods what are you some kind of alien
[06:47] SS: =]=> There's only one blood as far as I know
[06:47] UA: soRt of yEAh
[06:47] SS: =]=> ?
[06:47] UA: uuh its All vERy complicAtEd ANd i pRobAbly should tAlk About it
[06:47] SS: =]=> OK now I am fucking intrigued tell me more about it
[06:47] UA: um
[06:47] SS: =]=> I've got plenty of time while I lay the smackdown on these inky motherfuckers
[06:48] UA: hoNEstly bRo ivE Got my owN sis ovER hERE
[06:48] UA: ANd EvEN thouGh i cAN totAlly fuck with hER thRouGh timE ANd spAcE shE kNows EvERythiNG im GoNNA do bEfoRE i do it
[06:48] UA: so i Am Not AllowEd to spEAk to you About this soRRy bRothER
[06:48] SS: =]=> Well that's alright man but I'm expecting a full report sooner or later
[06:49] UA: will do
[06:49] UA: but ARE you iNtEREstEd iN GEttiNG A littlE hElp ANd powER?
[06:49] SS: =]=> Help and power is a nice combination man give me some details
[06:49] UA: ok hEREs thE dEAl
[06:50] UA: you GottA tAlk to youR spRitE ANd GEts thE whAt is whAt oN thE GAmE
[06:50] SS: =]=> Well I would
[06:50] SS: =]=> But right now he's kind of untalkative
[06:50] UA: did you pRototypE it twicE?
[06:50] SS: =]=> Twice
[06:50] SS: =]=> What's the second time do
[06:51] UA: jEGus you lot doNt REAlly tRy much do you?
[06:51] UA: thE sEcoNd timE you GEt thE thiNG to bEcomE somEthiNG
[06:51] UA: Now its just A fuckiNG bAll
[06:51] UA: oR Robot
[06:51] SS: =]=> So you're saying this gray fucker is gonna get smarter when I give it more stuff
[06:52] UA: yEAh but Now you tuRNEd it iNto A fuckiNG biG Robot
[06:52] UA: so doNt thRow iN A dRAGoN iN oR whAtEvER
[06:53] SS: =]=> So if I want it to be normal size I should throw in something smaller than a giant robot
[06:53] SS: =]=> That sounded way less obvious before I sent it
[06:54] UA: bRo if you doNt wANt to fiGht GiANt fuckiNG Robots combiNEd with somEthiNG ElsE REAlly dEAdly i thiNk you should thRow iN somEthiNG cutEsy
[06:55] SS: =]=> That sounds like fantastic advice
[06:55] SS: =]=> But what kind of Gundam fan would I be if I dared to taint it with fluffy pink shit
[06:55] SS: =]=> I think I know just what to prototype it with
[06:55] SS: =]=> Nothing too powerful but so fucking awesome it's worthy of the combination
[06:56] UA: okAy whAt thE fuck is thAt AbomiNAtioN
[06:56] SS: =]=> Sir are you familiar with a gentlemen by the name of Kamina
[06:56] UA: i wAs yEs
[06:57] UA: A fuckiNG pREtENtious swoRdkiNd usER
[06:57] SS: =]=> What
[06:57] SS: =]=> The fuck
[06:57] SS: =]=> Did you just say
[06:57] UA: whAt? this fuckER wAs muRdEREd swEEps AGo
[06:58] SS: =]=> Don't even dare diss the manliest fucker to ever grace existence
[06:59] SS: =]=> Listen up I'm about to tell you something even more important than the last time so you'd better pay close fucking attention
[07:00] SS: =]=> The reputation of the mighty Kamina-sama echoes far and wide
[07:00] UA: if you wERE ANyoNE ElsE but A RustbRothER dudE sERiously
[07:00] SS: =]=> When people talk about the most badass fearless man of all
[07:00] SS: =]=> With a soul of fire and a spine of steel
[07:00] SS: =]=> They're talking about him
[07:00] SS: =]=> THAT is why he is "The Mighty Kamina"
[07:01] SS: =]=> And THAT is why he's about to become half-Gundam
[07:01] UA: uhu
[07:01] UA: ANd you wANt to fiGht this KAmiNA dudE? cAusE if you do thAt you ARE GoNNA fiGht him likE A thousANd timEs
[07:02] SS: =]=> No I am gonna fight a thousand little posers who think they're Kamina
[07:02] SS: =]=> The real Kamina is gonna be the one crushing shit with his robot appendages
[07:03] UA: AlRiGht thAts okAy
[07:03] UA: youRE GoNNA do it ANywAy so i GuEss it wAs mEANt to bE
[07:03] SS: =]=> Damn right it was frankly I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner
[07:03] SS: =]=> Thanks for sparking the idea I guess
[07:03] UA: No pRoblEm mAN
[07:04] UA: but AftER you doNE youR fANboy squEElliNG
[07:04] UA: you should GEt thE GAmEs iNfodump
[07:04] UA: ANd thEN Go thRouGh thE fiRst GAtE
[07:04] SS: =]=> Right Chas told me about the gates
[07:04] SS: =]=> Gotta build up right
[07:04] UA: yEAh
[07:04] UA: AftER thAt you should coNtAct mE ANd ill hElp you fuRthER
[07:05] SS: =]=> All right I'll do that
[07:05] SS: =]=> Now if you'll excuse me I have to go find a flighty gray bastard and shove a poster down its throat
[07:05] UA: cool bRo
[07:05] UA: tAlk to you lAtER
[07:05] -- unopressedAgitator [UA] ceased pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 19:05 --

>Dirk: Prototype!

You head back to your ROOM and grab a poster off the wall.

Spoiler

Yeah. THAT'll do nicely. You take a quick look at your SYLLADEX to see if there's any CARDS open.

Spoiler: Sylladex

CARD 1 (TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN): RAD KATANA
CARD 2 (TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN): empty
CARD 3 (LUCKY STAR): empty
CARD 4 (NARUTO): HEADBAND
CARD 5 (MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM): CHAR MASK
CARD 6 (PRINCE OF TENNIS): TENNIS BALL
CARD 7 (FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST): GREED-STYLE SHADES

Yeah, there is some pretty crazy stuff in there. You make a mental note to ditch the STUPID PRINCE OF TENNIS CARD and make some new CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS at the ALCHEMITER to replace it. You stick the POSTER in the TTGL CARD that was emptied after you grabbed your SPARE SHADES to wear. You then walk out into the GAME ROOM to find GUNDAMSPRITE enthralled by your BIG SIS' D&D GAME TABLE. You decide to make your move quickly, before it moves. You grab your KAMINA POSTER and smack the GUNDAMSPRITE upside the head with it, only to be caught in a BLINDING LIGHT.

PCHOOOOOOOO

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Fuck death! Be the cool guy!

Your right, YOU ARE THE COOL GUY, AND YOUR NOT GONNA GIVE UP!

You tell your dad you got to go save him and yourself! YOU ARE ON A MISSION! You open up pester chum and pester Chas.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- backroomSix [BS] began pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 19:55 --
BS: First of all.
BS: Shut up
BS: Second of all
BS: Your gonna be my server player wether you like it or not!
BS: have Dirk send you his server game
SS: i don't see how this is a point of debate.
SS: we went over this! i'm sort of in a climactic moment here.
BS: The point is me not dieing
BS: That medior is gonna hit here very soon
BS: I'm not gonna die
SS: chill, i said i'd get my server disk from my dad's room.
BS: NO, GET IT FUCKING NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU MY SELF IN HELL!
SS: chill the fork out, man.
BS: Get. The. Server. Disk.
SS: i am your charismatic leader, i would never let you down.
BS: Then don't, and get the damn disk!
SS: i can't get my server disk without a battle-fork!
SS: or a fork-ax!
SS: or a laser fork!
BS: ...
SS: oh gog i want a laser fork.
SS: or maybe i'll make them all.
SS: and then i need a new suit.
BS: ENOUGH WITH THE CRAFTING BULL SHIT
BS: You have been at it for like, 30 minuets and you can't even make one good item
SS: 30 minutes?
SS: what?
SS: i just got back to the alchemiter.
BS: And your fucking weapon is a fork?
SS: i spent my last 30 minutes killing imps.
BS: Who the fuck fights with forks?
SS: a forking hero, that's what.
BS: bats are pratical
SS: if you want to flip the fork out, you know, that's fine with me.
BS: How long does it take you to kill one guy cool guy?
SS: but i am supposed to be saving your life.
SS: so maybe you should not insult me.
SS: or my forks.
BS: Well your not saving my life
SS: i am in the process of saving your life
SS: .
BS: You ignoring me and the fact that I am about to die
BS: *your
SS: i am not ignoring me how am i ignoring you if i am talking to you right now.
BS: Just get the damn disk!
SS: you're wasting valuable time that could be used getting my sweet duds, and the faster i get my sweet duds the faster i save your life.
SS: just remember, at the end of this, your entire city's going to get wiped out, and your dad's survival is up for debate.
BS: My dad will be fine, and NYC can fuck itself
BS: And how do you know all this?
SS: because it happened to me!
BS: Your dad is dead?
BS: That sucks
SS: i actually don't know for sure.
BS: Well... Sorry and stuff
SS: but my dead grandpa says he's fine.
BS: Just don't let me die
BS: I don't want to die ether guy
BS: Just please, can the clothing wait and can you get the disk?
SS: yes, you're pretty much flipping the fork out right now.
SS: i did it too.
BS: Please
BS: I don't want to ide
BS: *die
BS: and stuff
SS: sometimes wish you'd never been born at all.
SS: haham song lyrics.
BS: Don't start with that
BS: Just please, get the disk already!
SS: why don't you just look in the sky and watch the colors?
SS: maybe you can think of some philosophy.
SS: i did it, it was pretty cool!
BS: Your an ass.
BS: Just get the disk
BS: bbe
-- backroomSix [BS] ceased pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 20:04 --

> ==>

Aw who are you kidding, your gonna die. You start browsing 4chan again, go to /h/, and view porn for the last time. Then your dad turns around and gets a glimpse of your screen.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Wait for the 'cool guy'
Yeah, he's not joining. Thank Gog.
You mean God.

> Xavier: Inspect your inventory
You have nothing better to do.

Spoiler: SYLLADEX

CARD 1:
CARD 2: SBURB SERVER COPY
CARD 3: OUJIA BOARD
CARD 4:
CARD 5: GLASSES YOU NEVER WORE
CARD 6:
CARD 7:
CARD 8: FAKE FANGS
CARD 9:
CARD 10: GLUE

> ==>
Its all pretty unimportant, once you reflect on it.

> Xavier: Explain your sylladex
Its a RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR, to put something in a RANDOM NUMBER is picked, to get something out a RANDOM NUMBER is picked. If there's ever a CONFLICT, the original PLACEHOLDER is ejected. Its a cruel mistress but it has a lot of cards for just a beginning modus.

> Xavier: Inspect your weaponry
Okay.

Spoiler: STRIFE SPECIBUS

KNIFEKIND: CRUMMY KNIFE
SCARYTEDDYBEARKIND: MR.FLUFFYSTEIN

> Xavier: Have a realization
I look over at TEDDYSPRITE, then my SYLLADEX, then my STRIFE SPECIBUS.
Wow, I suck.

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: Man wiping out all those IMPS really boosted your stats! You're now a level 5 Plucky Kid, and have 247 units of Build Grist, 36 of Shale Grist, and 21 of Chalk.

You also create KAMINASPRITE! You proceed to have this conversation:

Spoiler: Spritelog

-- kaminaSprite [KS] began pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 22:33 --
KS: Bro!
SS: =]=> Yes
SS: =]=> YES
SS: =]=> THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE
KS: Yes it is.
SS: =]=> I mean wow I mean where do I even begin
SS: =]=> Hi
SS: =]=> I'm Dirk
SS: =]=> Big fan
KS: Hi? Is that how you great Kamina, the founder of team Dai-Gurren?>
SS: =]=> OH CRAP SORRY SORRY
SS: =]=> It's just
SS: =]=> I mean I always knew you were just a character and I'd accepted that you didn't exist
SS: =]=> And now you're here standing
KS: Let's see you grit those teeth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SS: =]=> OK, yeah, you definitely punched me
SS: =]=> And I am definitely bleeding
SS: =]=> But
SS: =]=> That is okay
KS: Glad to hear it Bro!
SS: =]=> I didn't expect much less after bringing a character to life from a poster and flying robot head
KS: Wait, is that why I'm half Gunman?
SS: =]=> Well technically you're half Gunda--nevermind essentially yeah half Gunman
SS: =]=> I needed a guide for this game to escape the end of the world I'm playing
KS: Well, this is unexpected.
SS: =]=> And I had the Gunman helping but he couldn't talk
KS: And you thought who better than Kamina, the hero of Jiha Village?
SS: =]=> Yes that is exactly what I thought
KS: Excellent choice.
SS: =]=> Yeah that's what I thought so anyways
SS: =]=> My friend Chas is in the game too
SS: =]=> And he made a guide from his dead grandpa
KS: Now that you mention it, I do seem to have a lot of knowledge i didn't before. What do you want to know?
SS: =]=> Wow that was just what I was getting to you are on the ball man
SS: =]=> I guess the lowdown on what the hell is happening here would be good
SS: =]=> I still don't really understand what's going on besides I'm in a dimension full of crazy evil imps
KS: Alright Bro, here's the deal.
KS: You are playing Sburb.
KS: Right now, on the Battlefield, two armies are duking it out for dominence.
SS: =]=> The Battlefield
KS: Yes.
KS: The Battlefield.
SS: =]=> What is the Battlefield Chas didn't mention that
KS: It's a very important part of Sburb, one that you will soon see.
KS: I doubt your friend knows about it yet.
KS: It
KS: 's possible he neglected to ask his guide about it.
SS: =]=> Oh all right
SS: =]=> So you were saying about two armies
KS: Anyway, there's an army of light, and an army of darkness fighting for the Battlefield.
KS: It's a battle that the army of light is always destined to lose.
SS: =]=> Well that sucks
KS: And once he's defeated his opponent, The Black King, leader of the dark army, will initiate the Reckoning.
SS: =]=> I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess something called The Reckoning is pretty bad
KS: The Reckoning is a storm of metors, that the Black King will use to destroy the Battlefield once and for all.
KS: Yes, it is very bad.
SS: =]=> So what
SS: =]=> Are we trying to stop it
KS: However, if you are going to win Sburb, you must not let the Battlefield be destroyed!
KS: It is your duty to stop the Black King before the Reckoning ends/
SS: =]=> OK I'm game for that
SS: =]=> So what's this Black King like
SS: =]=> What're his powers
KS: Well, he's got the powers of the Gunman you first prototyped your Sprite with.
SS: =]=> That is
SS: =]=> Not good
KS: If any of your other friends have entered the Medium yet, then he'll also have their Sprite's powers as well.
SS: =]=> Oh so he's Burning Gundam mixed with George Michael
KS: Who?
SS: =]=> Some 1980s idiot superstar Chas prototyped his sprite with
SS: =]=> I don't think you'd know him we're kind of on a different Earth than the one you knew
SS: =]=> Or were on a different Earth
KS: Huh.
SS: =]=> Where are we anyway exactly
KS: The Black King.
SS: =]=> No I mean
SS: =]=> Where are we located
KS: Oh.
KS: We are in the Medium.
SS: =]=> What's that exactly
KS: It's a miniature universe created by Sburb for you and your friends to "play" in.
KS: You'll explore it and use it's secrets to help defeat the Black King.
SS: =]=> Wow
SS: =]=> Where in the hell did this game come from anyway
SS: =]=> This is borderline magic here
KS: That's something I can't tell you.
SS: =]=> Why not
KS: I'm not allowed to yet.
SS: =]=> Not allowed by who
SS: =]=> The game
KS: No. Someone else.
SS: =]=> That is
SS: =]=> Curious
KS: Yes it is.
SS: =]=> I'll look into it later
KS: You should.
SS: =]=> I guess it'd be best if I asked other stuff first
KS: Probably.
KS: What else would you like to know.
SS: =]=> Uh let me think
SS: =]=> Oh I know
SS: =]=> I don't know if you've got any memories from Gundamsprite left but have you seen my sis around
SS: =]=> She disappeared after I came into the Medium
KS: Oh, she's around.
SS: =]=> That is both assuring and terrifying
KS: I don't know exactly where, but she's definetly somewhere close by.
SS: =]=> All right well
SS: =]=> At least she's not trying to kill me
SS: =]=> Just brutalize me
KS: That's good.
SS: =]=> OK two more questions for now
KS: Everyone needs a little pain to help them grow.
KS: Let
KS: 's hear them.
SS: =]=> OK first this is a game of sorts and I somehow "leveled up" after I killed a couple imps
SS: =]=> Are the enemies going to get tougher too
KS: Of course!
SS: =]=> Any hints at what I'm in for
KS: It wouldn't be fun if the game didn't get harder.
SS: =]=> To help prepare
KS: Let's see what I can tell you...
KS: They get bigger.
SS: =]=> All right I can handle bigger I think
KS: Of course you can!
SS: =]=> Second question (sorry but I thought of an extra) are you able to help me fight
KS: You bet! There isn't a fight you can keep the great Kamina away from!
SS: =]=> All right that is awesome
SS: =]=> And one final question I saw Chas trying to combine items with that Alchemiter thing
SS: =]=> Any hints on how that works exactly
KS: Yes.
KS: So, I take it you understand how to punch cards and use those to create totems.
SS: =]=> Yeah I got that down
KS: If you use more than one punched card to create a totem, that totem will have properties from both those items.
SS: =]=> Sweet in that case I have one tiny request and then I'm gonna get to work
KS: What's up Bro?
SS: =]=> Can I use a strip of your cape
KS: I suppose so. Here.
SS: =]=> All right thanks for all the help man I guess it's time I get to work
SS: =]=> I should probably tell the others what I've learned too
KS: One last thing Bro:
KS: If you ever feel like doubting yourself or your friends, I want you to do one thing.
KS: Don't believe in yourself, believe in the me that believes in you!
SS: =]=> ...
KS: Your sword is the sword that will pierce the heavens!
SS: =]=> WHATEVER YOU SAY KAMINA! Thanks again!
KS: Alright, good luck Bro. I'll be around if you need me.
SS: =]=> (Exclamation points were intentional)
-- kaminaSprite [KS] ceased pestering stabsSalesman [SS] at 22:59 --

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Chas: Defeating more IMPS increases your stats! You're a level 6 Tough Tot! You have 78 units of Build Grist, 49 of Chalk, and 38 of Shale.

As you place the totem on the ALCHEMITER, you are rewarded with... something you can't make yet. You don't know what it is, but it costs 125 units of Build Grist, and 15 of a type you don't have yet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Connor: Your DAD looks at your monitor. He looks back to you. Now back to the screen. Now back to you.

He looks very disappointed. He walks away, but it's pretty likely he'll have something to say on this later. Assuming you both don't die.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Examine Living room

You return to the LIVING ROOM,Rich still moving and deploying items around the ROOM,the KERNELSPRITE floating behind you.You decide it may be smart to prototype this thing like Dirk did with his.You give it a moments thought as to what to prototype it with.It would need to be something that would make the SPRITE a useful ally in combat if need be while at the same time not something that will come back to bite you in the ass later.

Almost immediately a LIGHT BULB seems to go off in your head.You walk into a corner of the room that Rich hasn't touched yet and grab one of the PRACTICE DUMMIES that is clothed in NINJA ARMOR,what ever that is.You lift it up,having gotten used to the weight of these things,and throw it into the KERNELSPRITE.As it touches the SPRITE a bright light fills the ROOM.

PCHOOOOOOOO

Spoiler: OOC

I thought about combining it with a book about phoenixes but that would probably be one of those"come back to bite you in the ass later"moments

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Be more awesome!!!
Ya damn right! You've been a shitty player for the duration of this game! Time to get tough!

> Xavier: Get some new weapons, motherfucka!
I go into the kitchen and get the BUTCHER'S KNIFE.
Aw yeah, bitches! You take the BUTCHER'S KNIFE, your Father won't miss it.

(Speaking of which, you wonder where he could be.)

> Xavier: Get more cool things, *****!
I head into the GARAGE/TRAINING ROOM.
Let's see PUNCHING BAG, no. BOXING GLOVES, hell no!
Gasp!

> ==>
I see a chainsaw.
YES! HELL YES! HELL FUCKING YES!

> Xavier: Imagine the possiblities
YES! ALL WHO OPPOSE YOU WILL QUAKE UNDER THE MEAR MENTION OF YOUR NAME! XAVIER THE CHOPPER!

> ==>
It's to heavy to lift, you decied to captcha the damned thing instead.

Spoiler: SYLLADEX

CARD 1:
CARD 2: SBURB SERVER COPY
CARD 3: OUJIA BOARD
CARD 4:
CARD 5: GLASSES YOU NEVER WORE
CARD 6: CHAINSAW
CARD 7:
CARD 8: FAKE FANGS
CARD 9:
CARD 10: GLUE

 

[CJ1145]

Spoiler: Avo

It takes a LOT more effort than that to get into the medium. I can't even recall you ever even describing all the steps it took up until that point. Seriously, we warned you about this, go read Homestuck, at LEAST until they are in the medium.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Wow, you douse bag.

You know, now your dad hates you. THIS! STILL! SUCKS!

You close 4chan and take Chas's advice and try to cool down while looking at the falling mediators. You get pestered by Beth. UGH!

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- backroomSix [BS] began pestering avouLeance [AL] at 16:59 --
AL: Hey
BS: Well, it's offical
AL: Um i need a little help
BS: I'm gonna die
AL: Wha;t wrong?
BS: I told you already
BS: God
BS: the medior?
BS: Jezz
AL: Oh right
AL: Sorry
BS: Ugh, thanks
AL: So you know how to set up
BS: Well to top it all off my dad hates me and thinks I'm a pervert
AL: Apparently i need to make stuff
BS: Yeah, your in the medium?
AL: Not yet actually
BS: ...
AL: Apparently there are some tests
AL: Or something i need to make
BS: You have to get the big thingie that make the blue blocks and hit the top with something
AL: What?
BS: have your server host do it
BS: The one with the clock
AL: ok sever host
AL: cya
BS: When you knock it open, the timer untill the medior for you house will hit will start
BS: WAIT
BS: When you open that thingie if you don't do the other stuff you gonna die
AL: ok sure
AL: I'm hunting down my server host
AL: bye
BS: K
BS: Bye
-- avouLeance [AL] ceased pestering backroomSix [BS] at 17:03 --
BS: Ok, you gonna post that?
AL: could you
BS: ...Fine
AL: ty]
BS: What does that mean
BS: I don't use abrivations very much
AL: thank you
BS: Cool
BS: Your welcom
BS: e
BS: Bye
AL: bye
-- avouLeance [AL] ceased pestering backroomSix [BS] at 17:04 --

Well, this is the end and stuff. You lie on the concrete of your roof and try to sleep.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You made the HARD-BROILED BUSINESS SUIT! An old-timey classic, combining the best aspects of exquisite salesman finery and intimidating P.S. duds. And, it comes with a matching FEDORA. Hey, free CANDY-CORN!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Greg: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You made DUMMYSPRITE! He floats around.

CRUXTRUDER TIMER: 18:17

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Xavier: While you go about your quest of picking things up, TEDDYSPRITE follows along. He seems to be trying to get your attention.

Suddenly, a yellow IMP pops out of nowhere! It seems to be wearing a scarf, has a mechanical arm, and has teddy-bear ears. Not a very threatening image.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Begin Alchemizing

You do as you have learned, and take the CAPE SCRAP CAPTCHALOGUE CARD over to the PUNCH DESIGNIX. You are ready to make your awesome new JACKE--wait. Where the hell are you going to put your current JACKET?? Oh shit you did not think this through. As awesome as your SYLLADEX is it is a pain to use mundane objects with it.

>Dirk: Wear the HEADBAND

Of course!

Spoiler

As much as you loathe this HEADBAND, you would feel wrong about just leaving it lying around. So you opt to wear it, and fill its former spot on the NARUTO CARD with YOUR JACKE--er, you mean SHINO'S JACKET. The CAPTCHALOGUE CARD accepts this bluff, and takes the card. You now punch both the JACKET and CAPE SHRED CARDS and create a single, oddly-shaped TOTEM. You drop it off at the ALCHEMITER and activate it.

PCHOOOOOOOO

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Laugh at your opponent
I do so.
You cannot believe SBURB would give you this shit!

> ==>
I fall over laughing.

> ==>
I pound on the ground laughing.

Fun time's over.
I throw the BUTCHER'S KNIFE at the IMP. Its lodged in.

> ==>
I grab take my KNIFE out if the IMP.

> ==>
I SHOW HIM MY STABS.