Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[Pappytech]

>Greg: Your dramatic music heralds the appearence of another pair of BASILISKS, as well as a few OGRES. Oh dear.

On the plus side, Perrywinkle has been rejuvenated by the food and water you gave him! He stands by your side, ready to fight. LILYSPRITE is floating above you, ready to fight.

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>Connor:

Spoiler: map

For a sense of scale, the biggest island is about 2 miles across. And yes, I'm being lazy, shut up.

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>Dirk&Chas: Snake-Eyes lands. He takes quite a bit of damage from the fall, but you're pretty much fine.

Your clones begin to flicker, and fade away. The surviving GICLOPS manages to ABSCOND.

Level up! Chas is a level 22 Trainee-Peddler. +2,000,000 Boondollars.

Dirk is a level 21 Temporal Kid. +1,716,000 Boondollars.

 

[ArcNitemare]

Gregrepare for EPIC! fight

It would seem another pair of BASILISKS as well as a few OGRES have invaded your front lawn.Hardly EPIC! fight material.

Atleast you won't be fight this battle alone.Perrywi.......err that bloody CAT....is standing by your side,the food and water you gave him seems to have made him feel better.

Lily is floating above your head and looks ready to aid you.

You take a deep breath.While you would rather not fight these creatures you know there is no point in arguing with yourself.These creatures are here to kill you....probably...

With another deep breath and your STEEL KATANA ready,you walk outside.Looks like its time to....


>Greg:STRIFE!

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Get a move on

Oh, oh wow that was bad. You can't help but feel a twinge of REMORSE for SNAKE EYES. You offer him a spot in your SYLLADEX to REST IN before you lead CHAS and the others through the SECOND GATE.

You decide to stop there before your entire post is CAPITALIZED.

 

[senorcromas]

> Rich: Kill IMPS. Acquire CURRENCY.

Oh, you are going to kill SO MANY IMPS. It's going to be REALLY RATHER RIDICULOUS. Just as soon as you get OUTSIDE. You figure that's where the majority of THEM will be. At the very least, you'll find the ONES YOU LET ESCAPE.

BESIDES, you were getting pretty ANXIOUS to SURVEY your SURROUNDINGS. It's your DUTY, as a WATCHER OF WINGED CREATURES. You guess. Really you just wanna get out of the HOUSE before your UNCLE REALIZES what's going down.

>Step outside.

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: LILYSPRITE begins battling the BASILISKS, and Perrywinkle attacks the OGRES. It looks like both of them could use a hand.

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>Dirk&Chas: Stepping through the Second Gate takes back to the middle of the desert. You can see the TEMPLE ENTRANCE, which is still smoking from Dirk's last BARBASOL-RELATED ESCAPADES.

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>Rich: As you step outside,you are faced with a group of five IMPS. As soon as they spot you, they begin to attack.

Spoiler: OOC

Gah, sorry about all the low-content posts of late. Life is throwing all the shenanigans at me. All of them.

But, life should be back to a reasonable schedule sometime this next week, so I should be able to do some awesomer stuff then.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Help someone

Lily and that bloody CAT jump into the fray ahead of you,Lily squaring off against the BASILISKS while Perrywin......the bloody CAT jumps at the OGRES.Looks like they will need some help.

You watch the fights for a moment then decide to help the CAT.You know Lily can hold her own for a bit but you wouldn't want to face the wrath of your MOTHER if the CAT got hurt.She doesn't get mad.She just...stares at you....and doesn't stop staring at you...like she is peering into your soul...

You shout to Lily that you will help her with the BASILISKS as soon as you help your MOTHER'S CAT deal with the OGRES and to hold as long as she can but to let you know if she needs help.

>Greg:Strife with Ogres!

Spoiler: OOC

Its all good Pappy.Real Life > Internet.I'd say we have been doing fine so far anyways considering we've got to 21 pages

 

[senorcromas]

>Rich: Diplomatic Approach.
Nope. They've had enough chances. You have put up with SHENANIGANS for LONG ENOUGH. It's time to LET LOOSE. And by 'LET LOOSE', you mean 'DO PRETTY MUCH THE EXACT SAME THING YOU'VE BEEN DOING, BUT ON A SLIGHTLY LARGER SCALE'.

The mass of capitalized words cannot lie; now is the time to

STRIFE!

You charge the GROUP, EARBUDS flailing. Swift EARPIECE JUSTICE ought to bring them to... Justice? You're not very good at coming up with these things on the spot.

 

[SamuelT]

<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>-- equilibricConcilate [EC] began pestering tenaciousConifer [TC] at ??:?? --
EC: V watch out im going to throw a moisture trap through your wall

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Try to figure out where you are and where to go.

You edit your map in Paint.

You go out to the island you pointed out, as it looks like from your somewhat better than average perception that is the island your on based on what you can see in the distance. You got to keep updating the map as you go on.

>Connor:Go out to that island

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: You approach the OGRES, who are already somewhat distracted by Perrywinkle's attacks. You are able to take one of them down before the other two even notice that you're there.

However, once they notice you, they change their tactics and begin double-teaming you.

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>Rich: Most of the IMPS are suddenly taken out when a BATH-TUB is hurled through your wall.

Level up! The BATH-TUB becomes a level 18 BATTLE-BASIN! +195,000,000 Boondollars!

The sole remaining IMP is in a state of shock. He doesn't seem to be able to move. As such, you are able to hit him repeatedly with your EAR-BUDS. Despite the EAR-BUDS ineffectivenss as weapons, you are able to eventually take down the IMP.

Level up! You are promoted to a level 3 GREEN-TOT. +250 Boondollars.

You also collect a decent amount of Grist from the battle. Huzzah!

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>Connor: Sadly, due to the INCREDIBLE SHITTINESS of the MAP, you are unable to figure out exactly where you are.

However, you do see a pretty big island. Might be a good idea just to head that-a-way.

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Spoiler: OOC

So, update. Yeah, that was pretty awesome.

 

[senorcromas]

<spoiler=OOC> Karkat is the best moirail.Rich: Survey battle scene.

Yessssss. You are the BEST. Okay, well, the trolls did help. You guess you are all the best. Good. Fairness problem: SOLVED.

Be more respectful to the dead.

Fiiiine. You loot the fallen IMPS' corpses and take what seem to be their INNARDS. Having obtained MUCHO GRIST, you rush back and try again to COMBINE.

>ITEM COMBINATION FUN TIMES HURRAY.

Combine: MP3 PLAYER && COMPUTER
Combine: EARBUDS && PIANO WIRE
Combine: CAPTCHALOGUE CARD && CAMERA

You shamelessly copy and paste your previous DEMANDS. Hopefully, your amazing TIME WASTING ABILITIES have allowed GRIST TORRENT to help supplement your newest WINNINGS.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Head to that big island.

Yeah, you already tried to do that, apparently THE FORCES THAT BE don't listen to you. You try to head for that island AGAIN!

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Gregown first Ogre

While the CAT is keeping the OGRES distracted,you leap behind them and drop the first OGRE with little effort.Looks like you hit the one that Perrywink......the CAT had been attacking.

Immediately you get the attention of the two remaining OGRES,who seem keen on double-teaming you.

Looks like you will need the CAT'S help on this one.You run to the CAT and ask him if he will be willing to help you like he does with your MOTHER during training.

While he decides on that you leap at the two remaining OGRES,using the multiple target attacks and dodges you learned from training.Who would have thought getting attacked by your MOTHER and her CAT everyday would pay off?

Spoiler: OOC

Only with Gamzee could Karkat seem the rational one of the bunch.Still a nice update though.

 

[Pappytech]

>Rich: You create a MACINTOSH! Well, what were you expecting? This was a pretty obvious combination.

You create the MUSICAL GARROTE! Looks like this thing could be used to either rock out to some SICK-BEATS or strangle a few enemies.

You have no idea what the CAPTCHALOGUE CARD && CAMERA combination creates, however. Looks like you still need some more Grist.

You also realize that you never installed GRISTTORRENT, and therefore cannot reap any of its spoils.

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>Connor: You start hearing a weird voice inside your head.

THE FORCES THAT BE were attempting to reference a joke in the webcomic HOMESTUCK, wherein a HEROIC PROTAGONIST is given a SHITTY MAP by an UNKNOWN BEING. The SHITTY MAP is so shitty, that it is impossible to use for navigation. However, the HEROIC PROTAGONIST eventually receives another MAP, one that is significantly less shitty then the SHITTY MAP. Some might have even refered to it as a PRETTY GOOD MAP.

THE FORCES THAT BE have already performed the first part of this reference, and are currently attempting to instigate the second. THE FORCES THAT BE hope that this broadcast explains the situation. You will probably never hear from us again. That is all.

And now the voice is gone. Well, that was weird.

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>Greg: Your YOUTH-ROLLING skills are incredibly useful in this STRIFE. The OGRES manage to land a few glancing blows on you, but nothing major. By contrast, you are able to hit them with several powerful strikes.

Perrywinkle just kind of ignores you for two reasons. First, he's a cat. He does what he wants, not what people ask. Second, he is already helping you. He cannot help you more than he already is. It is physically impossible to be more helpful then he is being.

The two of you manage to take down the OGRES!

LILYSPRITE has managed to finish off one of the BASILISKS, but another still remains.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Lead the way inside

You're kind of HAVING TROUBLE with that. As much as you want to LOOT AND PLUNDER, you're a little reluctant to go back in there. IT IS STUPID and you are absolutely aware of it, but it's still that little wriggling feeling that doesn't want to remember the inside of the TEMPLE. But you look and see that CHAS appears to be waiting on your indefinitely. You guess somebody has to take the first leap, so you walk inside and try to get your bearings on what rooms are left to explore.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Gregefeat Ogres,get loot,roll around in loot

You put up a good defense against the OGRES,them landing a few glancing blows on you, but nothing major.You get a few lucky blows in as well.Thankfully the CAT has joined in to help,though you think less because you asked and more because he wanted to.

As the fight goes,you hear a BEEP sound coming from your glasses and a message scrolls across the top of your lenses,letting you know someone is trying to contact you.A quick look lets you knwo its one of the trolls.You decide to see what he needs.It may be important.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

[04:11:38] -- unopressedAgitator [UA] began pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 16:11 --
[04:11:45] UA: RiGht i Got stRoNGARmEd iNto this
[04:11:55] GK: Hey UA...bad time for this my friend
[04:12:10] UA: fuck mE you cANt multitAsk?
[04:12:22] GK: Kinda busy..as you probably know..What do you need?
[04:13:02] UA: lEtAGE told mE to tEll you About tRoll RomANcE
[04:13:38] GK: Ya I remember asking here to tell me about it after I was done dealing with the whole Beth thing
[04:14:28] UA: RiGht
[04:14:30] GK: However..while I'm happy one of you will tell me about it...I'm curious why she is getting you to tell me...
[04:14:41] UA: i hAvE No fuckiNG cluE bRo
[04:14:59] UA: shE sEEms to oNly tAlk to thE spAcE AN timE Guys
[04:15:08] UA: ANd youR fuckiNG lEAdER
[04:16:00] GK: Hmm I see...this may be a bad time for this...but I'm curious why you two don't like each other...or is that too personal?
[04:17:05] UA: wEll foR thAt i thiNk you GottA kNow tRoll RomANcE
[04:17:35] UA: soRRy bRo but this shit doEsNt hAvE cliffNotEs
[04:18:38] GK: Hmm i see..well tell me what you can...I never thought I would say this but...the daily fights with my Mother and her cat seem to be paying off....I'm having no trouble dodging the ogres right now...course I'm not landing any hits but...
[04:20:08] UA: RiGht ok
[04:20:16] UA: this thiNG you Guys hAvE with 'lovE'
[04:20:38] UA: wE Got vARiAtioNs of thAt
[04:20:59] GK: How many variations?
[04:21:00] UA: thE lovE is oNE wE cAll it mAtEspRitship which is <3
[04:21:03] UA: fouR
[04:21:06] UA: quAdRANts
[04:21:33] GK: and here I thought human love was complex...anyway i'm being rude...please continue
[04:22:28] UA: thEN wE Got thE pAlE quAdRANt which is tRolls bEiNG foR thERE foR oNE ANothER
[04:22:35] UA: its cAllEd moiRAilship
[04:23:06] UA: shit likE fEEliNGjAms ANd lookiNG out foR othERs
[04:23:12] UA: likE whAt you do but moRE pERsoNAl
[04:23:18] GK: Hmm I see
[04:23:40] UA: thEN wE Got REAl GoddAmN hAtREd cAllEd kismEsis
[04:23:52] UA: polAR oppositE of whAt mAtEspRits ARE
[04:24:12] UA: its Not just ENouGh to dislikE but you REAlly GottA fuckiNG hAtE thAt othER tRoll
[04:24:31] UA: ANd thEN wEvE Got bEiNG AN AuspicE which is bEiNG thE mEdiAtoR bEtwEEN two tRolls whEN thEiR shit isNt woRkiNG out
[04:24:56] GK: Basiclly what i do..with humans anyway
[04:25:47] UA: Not REAlly
[04:26:05] UA: you doNt tRy to GEt youR pAls to hAtEsNoG oR lovEsNoG
[04:26:17] UA: you soRt thEiR shit out
[04:26:19] UA: youRE A moiRAil
[04:26:38] UA: if you wERE A tRoll ANywAy
[04:26:50] GK: Hmm I se..so where do you and Ec land on this scale of yours?
[04:28:05] UA: shEs coNviNcEd wE wERE fAtEd mAtEspRits
[04:28:11] UA: ANd thEN switchEd ovER to kismEsis
[04:29:13] GK: hmm matesprit=soulmate in human terms..or the closest anyway....So why did she believe this?
[04:29:42] GK: Or is that one of those"only she knows" kind of thing?
[04:29:59] UA: NAw Not REAlly
[04:30:15] UA: shE hAd A bANd of bluEbloods shE huNG with ANd plAyEd with
[04:30:43] UA: i spENt All my timE At thE othER sidE of thE fuckiNG woRld ANd wE chAttEd ovER tRolliAN
[04:31:00] GK: I see..so your friends then?Or were?
[04:31:33] UA: whEN wE wERE just GRubs suRE
[04:31:40] UA: thEN shE stARtEd to GEt iNto thE blood thiNG
[04:31:58] GK: Yes,what is this blood thing?
[04:32:25] UA: thAt im At thE fuckiNG bottom of thE sociEty
[04:32:29] UA: ANd shEs Almost At thE top
[04:32:34] UA: so shEs fuckiNG bEttER thAN mE
[04:33:27] GK: Does she believe that?
[04:33:54] UA: shE did yEAh
[04:34:27] UA: thAts why shE fuckiN clAppEd mE iNto iRoNs AftER killiNG my bloodbRothERs
[04:35:14] GK: ...she killed your brothers?...
[04:35:46] UA: shE AN hER mERRy bANd of fuckiNG sEAbloods
[04:36:07] GK: I'm sorry for your loss...I guess
[04:36:19] UA: Eh doNt woRRy bRo
[04:36:25] UA: thAt wAs Almost A swEEp AGo
[04:37:16] UA: ANywAy you up to dAtE with tRoll RomANcE?
[04:37:42] GK: Yes thank you...I'll be able to help you and EC better now
[04:37:58] UA: fuckiNG hEll
[04:38:01] UA: No offENsE bRo
[04:38:09] GK: Hmm?
[04:38:17] UA: but it is vERy stRANGE to Ask A humAN do AuspicEiAtE
[04:38:36] GK: Well there are only two of you right?
[04:39:06] GK: And i dont mean to sound rude but...do you really have alot of options on that regard?
[04:39:34] UA: yEAh but still
[04:39:45] UA: its cAllEd TROLL ROMANCE foR A REAsoN
[04:39:56] UA: A humAN iNvolviNG iNto it is...pREtty NAsty
[04:40:23] GK: I'm aware..if you don't wish me to get involved I won't
[04:40:51] UA: if you cAN GEt hER to stop killiNG mE
[04:40:56] UA: thAt would bE AppREciAtEd
[04:41:11] GK: ...killing you?..Ok I have to ask...what?
[04:41:24] UA: its A sGRub thiNG
[04:41:52] GK: Um ok..not sure what that is
[04:42:11] UA: thE GAmE you ARE cuRRENtly plAyiNG dudE
[04:42:35] UA: itll comE to pAss im suRE dudE
[04:42:38] GK: Hmm we are playing Sburb..interesting
[04:43:03] GK: But anyway..I'll help you by having her not...kill you?...I guess?
[04:44:15] UA: thAtd bE GREAt thANks
[04:45:01] GK: Oh...I have a quick question...about powers..what power lets you move objects?or fire anyway...
[04:45:33] UA: fiRE?
[04:46:32] GK: Yay my house was kind of...on fire when i woke up from being on Prospit..
[04:47:01] GK: A voice told me to focus on it..I did and i moved it somewhere were it couldn't burn
[04:47:03] UA: oh shit i just scRollEd dowN A littlE
[04:47:29] UA: i thiNk youR spAcE powERs ARE At woRk hERE
[04:48:39] GK: Space powers huh? well that would explain that I guess
[04:48:54] UA: yEAh i just sAw
[04:49:03] UA: this is totAlly hERo of spAcE stuff
[04:49:52] GK: What kind of stuff can space do?Just move stuff?Please tell me I'm not going to get laser eyes or something d
[04:50:01] GK: D:
[04:50:06] UA: lAsER EyEs ARE stupid
[04:50:21] GK: You probably don't want to tell Chas that
[04:50:31] UA: i told him his foRks suck
[04:50:38] UA: i doNt thiNk i cAN piss thE dudE off ANymoRE
[04:50:52] GK: Hmm taht may be why he wants to hurt you
[04:51:37] UA: im Not ExActly scAREd of him but ANywAy
[04:51:44] UA: spAcE powERs pREtty much RulE
[04:52:05] UA: you hAvE A hold of objEcts ANd AppARifyicAtioN ANd disAppARificAtioN
[04:52:29] GK: Hmm sounds useful
[04:53:08] UA: ANd youR fRAymotifs ARE just thE fuckiNG bomb
[04:53:18] UA: i thiNk thEy outwEiGh timE At thAt
[04:53:21] GK: Fraymotifs?
[04:53:53] UA: powERAttAcks
[04:54:09] GK: I see
[04:54:58] GK: This game is in no way shape or form as simple as I had hoped it would be :/
[04:55:58] UA: oh mAN you doNt EvEN kNow
[04:57:32] GK: Lovely...oh and this may be a bit rude but..may i ask your name? I'd rather have something to call you other then UA
[04:57:44] UA: oh suRE
[04:57:46] UA: IlliRE
[04:58:17] GK: Illire eh?Well thank you Illire
[04:58:29] UA: just to bE clEAR
[04:58:40] UA: thAt is I - L - L - I - R - E
[04:59:02] UA: chAs Got thAt fuckiNG wRoNG
[04:59:20] GK: I see...well i'll try not to get it wrong
[05:00:52] UA: Good
[05:01:13] UA: ANywAy i thiNk im GoNNA stop tRyiNG to GEt you killEd with coNvERsAtioNs
[05:01:42] GK: I'd appreciate that..but again I'm used to getting double teamed so its all good
[05:04:29] GK: I should finish this fight because I think Lily might need help so...Until next time Illire /bow
[05:04:38] UA: lAtER GREG
[05:04:43] UA: youRE A cool dudE
[05:04:45] -- unopressedAgitator [UA] ceased pestering ghostKnight [GK] at 17:04 --

Well that was a helpful conversation.You hope this information will help in the future.And you know one of the troll's names now .Now then back to the battle.

And in a few short,somewhat tense,moments its over.You breath a sigh of relief and collect your GRIST.You cross your arms over you chest once again as a sign of respect to the fallen.

You look over to see Lily has taken out one of the BASILISKS but could still use help.

You rush over and try to SNEAK ATTACK the BASILISK.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>The fourth wall's crying. Let's see why.

[insert image of Connor's in Hussie style sitting at his desk here]

Oh what, I mean, fuck, I'm not even up to the part where he gets the better map? God, I got to finish this comic if it kills me. Shit, this sucks.

>Real Connor:Think of a way to write out of this.

[insert image of real Connor rubbing his chin]

Hummm, what do? I mean, seriously? What do?

[pic of him looking at the window of the fourth wall hoping the GM can see]

OK, look, sorry for not posting much, but I've been up to shit. Keeping alive a dieing RP that's supposed to be a forum game that's at 169 pages is hard fucking work. I'll fix your shit, just give me some time. For now, my plot needs to be moving a little faster. Look GM guy, can't you find it in your big tech programer heart to make things a little easier for me? Just one thing that will somewhat advance my plot a little, instead of just swimming around the islands doing pointless bullshit. Please?

>Real Connor: Go back to you Sburb you.

Sure, I got time to kill. Hell, I could put the Exile back in. That would be cool. I start typing.

>why are you swimming/ get to land dude.

You swim to the closest land mass. Also, your think your going insane.

Spoiler: OOC

Derp