Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Have chat with FutureDirk

Spoiler: Show Talklog

[09:11:43] SS: Hey Greg.
[09:12:05] GK: Oh...Hey...Future Dirk,was it?
[09:12:49] SS: Yeah, pretty much.
[09:13:01] SS: So I understand Chas fucked up royal up here in a matter of five minutes or so?
[09:13:15] GK: You could say that
[09:13:51] GK: You could say that a train hitting a car at full speed would be "fucked up royal"
[09:14:50] SS: Well, I guess I'm here to try and fix that car.
[09:14:54] SS: Or at least tow it or something.
[09:14:59] SS: So I'll try and answer any questions you've got.
[09:16:09] GK: Well the first thing I would like to know...and forgive me if this is impolite or something...but the whole future thing...is it a Parallel,Alternate,or future future?
[09:16:32] SS: Parallel, hopefully not alternate.
[09:16:40] SS: But definitely not your future.
[09:16:40] GK: I see
[09:16:54] GK: That just raises more questions...
[09:17:23] GK: If you aren't from my future..then what future are you from?
[09:19:18] SS: A future where our reality-crushing stupidity came to a peak.
[09:19:26] SS: To the point where I was the only one that survived.
[09:19:43] GK: Ooook....that sounds...bad
[09:21:46] SS: Very, very bad.
[09:21:48] SS: But don't worry,
[09:21:53] SS: I'm here to make sure that doesn't happen.
[09:22:43] GK: Ok...I guess thats good?...I don't know...time isn't my thing :/..I mean I've read boos about it..but I don't think the rules in those books apply here :/
[09:35:03] SS: Yeah they probably don't. It's a lot more contrived and unnecessarily overcomplicated than most people think.
[09:36:13] GK: I believe it..but I won't both asking you...I'm sure you have enough problems on your plate as it is without some one bugging you about pointless stuff.
[09:37:16] GK: So I guess my next question is..How do you fix the problem with Chas?...I mean slapping him a few times probably won't work :/
[09:53:02] SS: Well, simply put, I can't fix Chas.
[09:53:21] SS: He is pretty much going to be an overconfident dick as long as we keep winning.
[09:53:41] GK: I see
[09:53:47] SS: The problem is, the only way to stop that is to lose.
[09:53:48] SS: And that would be bad.
[09:53:54] SS: So all I can do is perform damage control on him.
[09:54:32] GK: Well...there is a problem going on in Prospit...though I don't know if that would help us...or get us killed :/
[09:59:56] SS: Which problem?
[10:00:42] GK: Well...The whole Prospit winning the war thing...please don't tell me there is another problem ...D:
[10:08:03] SS: Oh, so they were winning right now?
[10:08:12] GK: Yes
[10:08:12] SS: That is quite a hope spot.
[10:08:48] SS: I don't want to spoil anything... but I'd suggest getting anything you need off of Prospit. And soon.
[10:08:55] GK: I've been told by the Queen,Lily and Illire that prospit winning is a bad thing... >.>
[10:08:58] GK: And why? >.>
[10:09:24] SS: Normally you'd have to wait for your sprite to get off its flighty ass and tell you all about it through riddles and shit.
[10:09:29] SS: But the truth is Prospit is fucked.
[10:09:35] SS: Permanently.
[10:09:39] SS: In a cosmic sense.
[10:09:41] GK: ....what...
[10:10:39] SS: In absolutely every single session ever,
[10:10:43] SS: Prospit loses.
[10:10:57] SS: It is destiny, in the most soul-crushingly hopeless way.
[10:11:47] GK: I understand that Propsit must lose...the whole Derse wins,Prospit loses I understand...but is there a way to see to it that Prospit is..saved at the least?
[10:13:14] SS: Prospit itself can be saved, but it's never easy, and never without pretty painful sacrifices.
[10:14:15] GK: Hmm..a chance is better then none at all I guess
[10:14:34] SS: Like I said, though, I'm here to cut losses.
[10:14:40] SS: I might be able to make it a little less painful.
[10:14:51] SS: For you, at least. I'm pretty much guaranteed a bloody and fucking awful death.
[10:15:14] GK: ...wha...huh...what?...
[10:16:15] GK: Your going to die? D:
[10:16:38] SS: Oh, shit.
[10:16:39] SS: Sorry.
[10:16:48] SS: I kind of forget that it's a big deal.
[10:17:05] SS: See, I'm a beta timeline Dirk.
[10:17:13] GK: Beta?
[10:17:28] SS: OK, there are two classifications of timeline.
[10:17:48] SS: The Alpha timeline is the sole, singular timeline that is the cosmic determination of how events should be.
[10:17:54] SS: The one you are in.
[10:18:06] GK: I..see
[10:18:10] SS: I am from a timeline where things went wrong, a Beta (or Doomed) timeline.
[10:18:23] SS: Because they are doomed to cosmological failure or something bullshit like that.
[10:18:41] SS: So when I traveled back in time, I re-entered the Alpha timeline, and am now a Doomed Dirk.
[10:19:07] GK: And so...that means you're doomed to die?
[10:19:08] SS: As much as I'd enjoy living, and being the main character and shit, I'm not. The Alpha timeline will, sooner or later, get its bloody revenge on me for fucking around with time.
[10:19:25] SS: It's over-protective like that.
[10:19:27] GK: I see...
[10:19:37] GK: IS..there anything I can do?
[10:20:09] SS: Just do your job. As a hero and as a member of the team.
[10:20:28] SS: You do whatever you were going to do, and I'll stop it from going horribly wrong.
[10:20:33] GK: Well I want to do both...its just..its hard...
[10:20:49] GK: And I hope I don't do anything wrong :/
[10:21:24] SS: You won't. Besides, I'd rather die doing something useful.
[10:21:42] SS: Whether that be fixing some fuck-up or not doesn't much matter.
[10:21:50] GK: I guess...thats good?...
[10:22:20] GK: ..But with all that said...I can't let what Chas did go...
[10:24:59] SS: What did he do?
[10:25:06] SS: He bragged, but vaguely.
[10:25:37] GK: Well I wanted to see how power mad he had become..so I said Space > Light
[10:26:35] GK: and then he started accusing me of being insubordinate
[10:27:33] GK: Then I,stupidly,said that all Light seem to do was blind and maybe sunburn...So he Flashed me....and let me say that I could have done without that today..>.<
[10:28:17] SS: I may or may not kick his ass at some point for that, but trust me. We really need to work together on this.
[10:28:40] SS: If you insist on staying away from Chas get ahold of present me and maybe we can coordinate to some extent.
[10:29:35] GK: I was going to once I got a chance...Lily gave me an idea on how to help Prospit with the help of the Princes of Derse...
[10:30:23] GK: But for now...I think Chas and I keeping our distance is for the best...
[10:30:58] SS: Whichever is fine. But going it alone just isn't an option.
[10:31:12] GK: He refused to listen about Prospit...and any plans I come up with he will just think I'm trying to undermine his authority or leadership or whatever
[10:32:29] GK: As it seems right now...going it alone is really my only option..
[10:33:05] SS: Then at least get into contact with past me. He'll try and help.
[10:34:24] GK: I will once I get the chance..and hopeful once one of the trolls contacts me I can see if EC will try to talk some sense into Chas and get him to understand that what is happening on Propsit IS important..not something I'm making up
[10:35:52] SS: For all his talk on lasers he has this odd hatred for the fantastic.
[10:36:44] GK: So it would seem..I guess all the reading has just made me more....open I guess?....about all of this..
[10:37:46] SS: Maybe.
[10:37:59] SS: I stopped doubting anything about the time inky black creatures and meteors assaulted my house.
[10:38:11] GK: Ya,that would do it
[10:39:41] GK: I don't know...I guess I just sort of..accepted all of this..as our new reality :/
[10:40:17] SS: Yeah. Speaking of reality I should probably get back to it, specifically that Chas is going to get his ass killed without me.
[10:40:37] SS: So I'm going to get back to trailing him, and let you do what you do best, all right?
[10:41:23] GK: Ok.I'll contact your present self while I wait for you two to leave.I want to explore this place some more before I leave
[10:43:03] GK: But..thanks for everything here Dirk ..or FutureDirk..or whatever..
[10:43:03] SS: All right, good luck.
[10:43:10] SS: Anytime.
[10:43:13] SS: No pun intended.
[10:43:18] GK: Of course

You watch FutureDirk jump off the remains of the stairwell,no doubt to rejoin Chas,and you can't help but feel your spirits lift.There may yet be hope..and that is something you will hold on to...After all...There is always hope..

You sigh and continue to practice with your KUNAI..but you also take out your STEEL KATANA and try practice with both weapons at once with renewed vigor before you contact present Dirk.

 

[Pappytech]

>Xavier:

Spoiler: OOC

Send me a message or pester me whenever you want to have the chat. Sorry, I've just been kind of busy the past few days.

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>Greg: Although your duel-weapon wielding skills certainly aren't as good as your MOTHER'S, you find yourself getting better with the practice.

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>Chas: Indeed. It's quite impressive.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Dream Connor: Enter the Black Queen's throne room.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MetroidNut: Infiltrate this RP.

I have spread my nefarious influence to yet another Homestuck-themed RP! And I intend to keep doing things like this for a while. No one can stop me.

>MetroidNut: Brush up on previous happenings, to ensure you are fit to take over a PLAYABLE CHARACTER.

This shouldn't be too sweet zombie jegus there are 34 pages. How are there 34 pages.

>MetroidNut: Get to work.

thirty-four

thirty-four

>MetroidNut: There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy.

 

[Pappytech]

>GM: Confirm that this is a thing that is happening. Yes, Metroid will be taking senorcromas' place, since he's been MIA for a few weeks now.

I'd like to offer a brief apology for not being very active here lately; life's been keeping me pretty occupied, what with tests, homework, and lousy, no-good, supportive friends. But, yeah, still here, still being the GM.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Nitemare:Be Understanding

Sad to lose/not lose another player but hey atleast most of us are still here.And we made it to page 34.Not too shabby.

But no problem Pappy...real life < internet life

Hope you enjoy the read Metroid...I'd like to think things have gone well so far

Stay thirsty my friends.

 

[SamuelT]

>GMFAU: Inquire in which manner the pestertag is going to be handled

 

[MetroidNut]

>MetroidNut: Admit that the read, though long, is thus far quite enjoyable.

I WILL DO NO SUCH THING

>MetroidNut: Direct the GMFAU's inquiry to the GM.

I am a mind-boggling pillar of usefulness.

 

[Pappytech]

>GM: Handle GMFAU's inquiry. Metroid, do you have another chumhandle besides your troll one? You might just want to use that.

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>Dream Connor: After walking for about 15 minutes (DD following you all the way) you finally make it to a large THRONE ROOM. In the center, there is a tall throne, upon which is seated an imposing figure. She looks like a Queen... a Black Queen.

Even sitting, you can tell that she would stand head and shoulders above the rest of her subjects. She is pitch black, and clothed in a revealing dress made of... green spandex. The sleaziness of the material, coupled with the nature it's been cut in, has made the outfit very uncomfortable to look at. In any case, it's far from the most unusual thing about her.

Wrapped around her neck is a long, flowing black scarf. It's easily five feet in length, but some strange force keeps it constantly floating in the air, bending and curving in a non-existent wind. She also clasps a long wrench in her right hand, holding it like some kind of scepter.

Beyond her accessories, the Queen's hair (You guess it's supposed to be hair; it's kind of hard to tell when her entire body is one carapace.) is rather frizzy. On a less imposing figure, it could be called a small Afro, but the Queen wears it with such elegance that you cannot describe it as such. Most of her body seems to be comprised of machinery or plastic; you can see metallic plates covering her right arm and shoulder, and her left arm and shoulder seem to be a few pieces of hardened plastic, covered with a few scraps of black cloth.

Finally, you can't help but notice the ring she wears on her right hand. It is composed of a single golden band, with seven white orbs circling it. Each orb is glowing brightly; they pulse with energy.

The Queen notices you entering the Throne Room, and stands to meet you. She saunters over to you, and asks why you've come to visit the Ruler of Derse?

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>Xavier:

Spoiler: Show Consortlog

-- parrotConsort [PC] began pestering lionizedAnon [LA] at 18:53 --
PC: Gah!
LA: What?
PC: Don't sneak up on someone like that!
LA: I didn't...
PC: Seriously, we're just here, trying to get some sleep.
LA: I'm sorry.
LA: Sincerly.
LA: But, uh...
PC: ...Well, alright.
LA: Mind if I ask questions?
PC: Fine.
LA: First and foremost,
LA: What's up with the cloud dungeon?
PC: Cloud dungeon? We have a cloud dungeon?
LA: Yeah.
LA: You kinda do.
PC: Huh.
PC: Learn something new everyday.
LA: So you don't know...
PC: Where is it?
LA: Above here.
PC: Oh, that thing.
PC: It's a dungeon?
LA: I guess.
PC: It just showed up a few days ago.
LA: Huh,
PC: I think the weird guy has something to with it...
PC: He's scary.
LA: Did the guy say nothing?
PC: Well, he's not really here right now.
LA: Did you see him?
PC: No, last I heard, he was on the far side of the Land.
LA: Darn.
PC: Wait, no, that was Carl...
PC: Where's the weird guy again?
LA: Carl?
LA: Parrots have human names?
PC: What's a human?
LA: I'm a human.
PC: I think a better question might be, "Humans have parrot names?"
LA: ...
LA: We're getting off topic.
PC: There was a topic?
LA: Got me there.
LA: Next question!
PC: Ok.
LA: Do you know where the Denizen is?
PC: You mean the weird guy?
PC: Yeah, I kind of forgot.
PC: Sorry.
LA: S'right.
LA: Last and finally question!
LA: Do you know how the GodMonster is?
PC: The only source of water in the forest is the river.
LA: No!
PC: Sorry, what was the question?
LA: GodMonster!?
LA: Do you know him?
PC: When the question is asked, silence will fall.
LA: (XD!)
LA: What!?
LA: What is the question!
PC: Who are you again?
LA: Xavier!
LA: Xavier Lee!
PC: Oh. Nice to meet you Xavier!
PC: Even if you did wake me up...
LA: Hi, nice to meet you...
PC: Anything else I can help you with?
LA: Um...
LA: Do you know anything about my Lifey powers?
LA: I have no idea what they are.
PC: You have Lifey powers?
PC: Those sound awesome!
LA: I know!
LA: But I have no idea what they are!
PC: Probably something to do with life.
LA: Like...
LA: Reviving it?
PC: I don't know.
PC: It's not like I have Lifey powers.
LA: True...
PC: Although I do have parrot powers!
LA: You do!?
PC: Which really aren't that great...
LA: That sounds awesome!
LA: But you have powers.
PC: Well, I can fly around and talk and stuff.
LA: Oh...
LA: That's not exactly awesome.
PC: Yeah...
LA: Yup...
PC: So... there's a cloud dungeon.
LA: Yup.
PC: Are you going to check it out?
LA: Sure!
PC: It sounds kind of interesting.
LA: It does.
LA: Wanna be my sidekick?
PC: Um...
PC: Do you have anything to eat?
LA: ...
LA: I had a worm.
LA: I don't even know why I kept him around.
PC: Ooh! That sounds good!
LA: Yeah!
PC: If you give me the worm, I might stick around for a bit.
LA: OK.
PC: Well, let's be off then.
PC: Allonsy!
LA: ...
LA: I heard that before.
PC: It's French.
PC: For, "Let's go."
LA: Parrots have a France?
PC: Humans have a France?
LA: Off topic.
PC: Oh, right.
LA: PARROT, GRAB MY HAND!
PC: OK!
LA: ADVENTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!
PC: PCHOOOOOOOOO!
-- parrotConsort [PC] ceased pestering lionizedAnon [LA] at 19:10 --

The PARROT gladly takes, and eats, the worm you've been carrying. He then flies out of the BIRDHOUSE, following you around.

Spoiler: OOC

Dear God, I love Doctor Who.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MetroidNut: Tell the GM you'll just make up a new one.

I'll just make up a new one.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Dream Connor: Attempt to kill her.

You feel that would likely not work too well, or at all really.

>Dream Connor: Think for a brief second.

OK, her badass levels are off the roof, if you try anything you'll die, and it's no doubt that Jack knows it. So if he wants you to try to kill her and fail, that means he has ulterior motives, or should you say, more ulterior motives than you guessed. Maybe helping him out isn't a good idea...

>Dream Connor: Fall on your knee and look to the ground.

You do so.

>Dream Connor: Humbly tell her that two agents of hers wishes to betray the queen herself, and you will tell her all you know about these two agents of desire.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Wrest control of the spotlight with a vengeance.

With gusto.

Spoiler

Time to test your LITTLE DARLINGS out.

Spoiler

"All the lights in the sky are STARS! But the lights here on the earth..."

Spoiler

"The lights on earth are FLAMES."

 

[Pappytech]

>Dream Connor: The Black Queen rolls her eyes (An impressive feat for someone who doesn't have pupils) and asks you if it's Jack Noir playing his silly little games again, and, if so, what exactly do you know about his plans?

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>Dirk: Your attack easily manages to wipe out the BASILISKS and OGRES heading your way, as well as a few of the IMPS. The GICLOPS takes notice of you, however, and begins lumbering towards you, backed up by a couple of OGRES and the rest of the IMPS.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Dream Connor: Tell her Jack's and DD's plans.

You tell her of Jack's plan to have you attempt to kill her, and that you said yes only to sell him out. You also tell her the other person you were talking about, a fellow related to diamonds, has been following you and would of killed you if you didn't head into this chamber and tried to kill her.

>Dream Connor: Slowly show her the knife he gave you.

You carefully take out Jack's knife, as proof of his plans. You do it in a completely non-threatening matter.

 

[Pappytech]

>Rich: Suddenly become active after a long period of interactivity. Wow, you really zoned out for a while there. Weird. Anyway, let's see what's going on.

So, you're in your UNCLE'S study. He's missing, the window is smashed open, and there are IMPS running about. You're in some weird world where it's always twilight, and are on a island with flame-geysers that is surrounded by some weird substance. It's dark, and you're wearing sunglasses. Okay, not really.

Anyway, you can hear some IMPS running around inside the house. Sounds like they might be setting up an ambush for you or something. You also spot something strange lying on a nearby desk, covered by a sheet of paper. It looks like the corner of a green card, kind of like a STRIFE-SPECIBUS. Huh.

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>Dream Connor: The Black Queen grabs the REGISWORD, and carelessly looks at it. She mutters something about needing a new arch-regent.

Sighing, she drops the blade, letting it embed itself in the ground. She then grabs you by the shoulder, and drags you behind the Throne. Surprisingly, once you walk behind it, you find yourself, and the Queen, popping out of a vase in an entirely different room. Well, that was certainly unexpected.

After briefly wondering how you could have possibly fit in such a small vase, you turn your attention towards the room itself. You can see a desk covered in paperwork, four large banks of monitors arranged into walls on each side of same desk. Sitting at the desk, giving the paperwork his best hate-filled glare, sits Jack Noir.

He looks up, seemingly unfazed by your sudden appearance, and asks what all this is about. The Queen shoves you towards him, and asks if this is his idea of a joke. She can understand trying to assassinate her, but sending a kid in dumb pajamas? Really?

Jack looks mildly insulted. He insists that he would never allow a measly twerp like this one to do any of his dirty work.

The Queen and Jack are soon involved in a debate over the quality of assassins needed to kill royalty, the state of your clothes, and something about oatmeal. They seem to be ignoring you, for the most part.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Dream Connor: Look at your stab wound.

It still hurts a little, but it wasn't too deep. Not much worth complaining about.

>Dream Connor: Listen to their comments.

Their like an old married couple. You wonder what it would be like if you had a mom, would it be like this? Them arguing over unimportant things all the time? Man, this is one crazy dream.

>Dream Connor: Wait around till they stop arguing.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Do something amazing

You think you can manage that.

Spoiler

You spot your old nemesis, THE PAINT BUCKET, waiting for you on this monster's knee. You intend to deal with it PERMANENTLY.

Spoiler: Deal with it