We all know what fear leads to and what that in turn leads to.MeChaNiZ3D said:
Just getting to the root of the discrimination
It's just a term that stuck.
What is being homophobic?
- Thread starter Aaron Sylvester
- Start date
Just getting to the root of the discrimination
It's just a term that stuck.
You're not homophobic, you just hate PDA lol. So it's not really homophobic in your case. As long as you don't make your anti-PDAness too obvious then it's fine, in fact, it's very respectful of you to not make a show of how off-put you are like some on here say they do.Xan Krieger said:
Homophobia is not just fear, it's an irrational aversion and hatred/discrimination. It's bias, it's the "I accept homosexuality as long as they're way over there" mentality. It's outright hatred. It displays itself in many different ways with different people. What studies show is homophobia is generally based on insecurity and insecurity is a fear based trait. You may not be directly scared of homosexuality. Or of gay people. But homophobes have a wall up with gay people. And they are scared of breaking that wall because they have internalized issues with homosexuality they can't deal with. They then project those issues on homosexuality rather than addressing their own issues. That's why homophobia is dying yet still a severe problem. It's *completely* irrational. It's completely based on abstract feelings, not logic. More so than racism or misogyny.
Well...homophobia is a "phobia," as in an irrational fear. You sound like you have less of an irrational fear and more of a distaste for two guys kissing because that's not something that appeals to your sexuality.
So, no. You're not homophobic in my book. Though you probably should think about why seeing two guys holding hands disgusts you to such a high degree. That's a little odd.
So, no. You're not homophobic in my book. Though you probably should think about why seeing two guys holding hands disgusts you to such a high degree. That's a little odd.
Good point. You're right. But let's be real.............that's not what has been said by several people here. We've already heard homosexuality being "not normal", "unnatural", "disgusting", and one guy proudly boasting about denying legal rights to same-sex couples.Reaper195 said:
So it's true, there is a huge difference between preferences that are as a result of sexual orientation, and then preferences out of homophobia. The problem is most people with the "homosexuality is disgusting" or "two guys kissing is disgusting" mentality are actually homphobes. Not "I don't care, I'm not attracted to it". Of course you're not, you're straight. Being straight isn't the issue. You can prefer watching two women kiss, yet almost boasting about being disgusted with two men kissing.
No. By that logic I'm morally condemning heart surgery, since it's gross to look at.101flyboy said:
Perfect, perfect, perfect. Everything in a nutshell. OK, good, you "tolerate" homosexuality. That doesn't make you an enlightened person. You still hold an irrational bias. You don't really accept homosexuality. It's not a good thing.Tragedy said:
Your last statement hits the nail on the head. Do you really consider yourself at all even sane for getting convulsions if two guys kiss?
We live in 2013. Same-sex kissing is becoming a lot more common in our society. Hell, I read 22% of men had sex with the same sex in 2011. That's almost 1/4. So it's pretty much like, you better get used to it.
Homosexuality is not the problem. That has to continue to be drilled into people's heads until they wake up. The problem is not same-sex affection. Two men kissing isn't the problem. It is the negative attitudes surrounding it that many have.
No, it's gross to look up because it's gory, it's bloody, a person is being ripped up. Because heart surgery is connected to someone who is sick and the thought of heart sickness is scary, gross, sad, etc.Queen Michael said:
You're comparing a heart to human beings. There literally is no argument. First the comparison was to food. Then to old people. Now to heart surgery? LOL. The lengths people go to justify irrational bias.
I know people are going to try and reassure you, but that's not a healthy reaction.Aaron Sylvester said:
So it's not your thing, and that's fine. You don't find it appealing, that's also fine. You don't want to see it? Iffy. The above sort of reaction? Something's up.
Also, imagine how bad it would be for homosexuals if your assessment were true. They're constantly surrounded by this sort of thing from heterosexuals who have no taboo against PDAs, often more severe than what you're describing. Yet somehow, they seem to cope (most of them).
There's no right or wrong to this, answer changes whoever you ask. Some say you are, other say you're not and both answers are valid. It's word made up by us that encompasses psychological aspects we didn't consider when making it up.
I personally don't care about any of that or would prefer not to. You can be the most disgusting homophobic, sexist and racist fuck, I don't care. We probably won't ever be friends and I won't spend much time with those people but you can think whatever you want, as long as it doesn't affect those people. Too bad that reality doesn't work like that. In my books, not what you think makes you bad but your actions. If, for example, you're hiring people and don't hire someone because you don't want to see him kiss another guy, then it's not good. If, despite disliking seeing him kiss another man, you would still hire that person, well like I said, I couldn't give less of a shit then.
Of course it's not so easy and there's not a clear line here where it's good and bad. Also, like I said reality doesn't work like that and many will act on the things they think and believe.
I personally don't care about any of that or would prefer not to. You can be the most disgusting homophobic, sexist and racist fuck, I don't care. We probably won't ever be friends and I won't spend much time with those people but you can think whatever you want, as long as it doesn't affect those people. Too bad that reality doesn't work like that. In my books, not what you think makes you bad but your actions. If, for example, you're hiring people and don't hire someone because you don't want to see him kiss another guy, then it's not good. If, despite disliking seeing him kiss another man, you would still hire that person, well like I said, I couldn't give less of a shit then.
Of course it's not so easy and there's not a clear line here where it's good and bad. Also, like I said reality doesn't work like that and many will act on the things they think and believe.
Projective disgust. You're imagining yourself in the role of the guy being kissed. Or you're in the position where you're associating same-sex affection to "gay". Which makes this point I'm about to make.........Abomination said:
...........way more clear. Kissing isn't sex. The fact you brought up sex more or less outs you as someone who is projecting disgust on something that you have no real reason to find disgust in. You are talking about anal sex and how not liking anal sex is about personal taste, yet anal sex and sex in general isn't what's being discussed.
I don't want to be rude by saying something like "people like you are ______". But the disgust towards two men kissing is ultimately about you thinking about them fucking. And they actually BEING together. Not lovey dovey romance. But of them swapping spit, sucking cock and fucking each other up the ass. And you can't handle it.
You'll need to ask yourself why your mind jumps to that when you see two men kiss. You may not even realize it does. But if it didn't you probably wouldn't find something as harmless as a kiss disgusting.
Flamboyance? More blatant insecurity. So, when two women kiss or a man and woman kiss, are they being flamboyant? Flamboyance is relevant because? That's more of the "stop flaunting your faggotry faggots" canard. It's a defensive mechanism. I can't handle my internalized issues with homosexuality so you need to stop being flamboyant and flaunting it in my face.
Projective disgust.
You're like the perfect representation of what projective disgust entails. The absolute perfect representation. Read up on it in an earlier post I made.
I don't have an irrational anti-gay bias. I march in the Pride Parade, and I have made out with a couple of guys. (Though on my part, that was just one of those experimental things some people do.) I even have a yaoi collection. (That's gay romance manga with sex in it, for the Escapists who don't know.) I'm just saying that if you write that disgust is a moral condemnation, then you need to add that this is only true when it comes to gay people kissing. Otherwise it'll imply what I said.101flyboy said:
If you feel the topic creator's reaction isn't irrational, I don't know what to say.MPerce said:
Fear is the root of many things. Homophobia is called such because it has a root in fear/hatred. But not all actions called homophobic are immediately identifiable as driven by fear.
What I mean is, it's not an identity. It's not an immutable state. There are many attractive elderly men and women people don't find "disgusting". When people consider elderly individuals "disgusting" it's based on a stereotype that they have skin wrinkles, they're less toned, teeth less fresh looking, veiny. Plenty of elderly individuals look as good as they did at 40 at 65. People don't find these individuals "disgusting".Stasisesque said:
With that said, it's not an identity, unlike gay. And it's not something where you AUTOMATICALLY denote someone as disgusting because they're old. And only because they're old.
There are several degrees of homophobia, honestly.
Me, I AM a slight bit homophobic, because of an event in my past, that I wont say here again. That being said, I am totally okay with gay people. My father is gay, my brother is gay, one of my best friends is gay, one of my supervisors is gay, and I don't have a problem with them as people. Their sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.
However, I've been kicked out of a club once for punching a guy in the face. I was there with my brother and his boyfriend, and I was sitting with one of our female friends, and this guy comes up and starts hitting on me. Okay, I told him sorry, I'm straight. That didn't stop him from hitting on me, I told him, I'm taken. Nothing, he started touching my shoulder. At this point I told him to stop touching me or I was going to knock out his teeth (Boy, that escalated quickly). Still nothing, and by this time he had put his hand on my junk. I slugged him in the face...
I also would do the same thing you did if I saw two guys making out, (I would do the same thing if I saw a straight couple making out). Not because I'm homophobic, but because I don't find the male body attractive in any way.
My main point is being grossed out by homosexuality is okay, actively disrupting two consenting adults is not, and neither is causing someone physical, mental, or emotional harm just for being different.
Me, I AM a slight bit homophobic, because of an event in my past, that I wont say here again. That being said, I am totally okay with gay people. My father is gay, my brother is gay, one of my best friends is gay, one of my supervisors is gay, and I don't have a problem with them as people. Their sexual orientation has nothing to do with it.
However, I've been kicked out of a club once for punching a guy in the face. I was there with my brother and his boyfriend, and I was sitting with one of our female friends, and this guy comes up and starts hitting on me. Okay, I told him sorry, I'm straight. That didn't stop him from hitting on me, I told him, I'm taken. Nothing, he started touching my shoulder. At this point I told him to stop touching me or I was going to knock out his teeth (Boy, that escalated quickly). Still nothing, and by this time he had put his hand on my junk. I slugged him in the face...
I also would do the same thing you did if I saw two guys making out, (I would do the same thing if I saw a straight couple making out). Not because I'm homophobic, but because I don't find the male body attractive in any way.
My main point is being grossed out by homosexuality is okay, actively disrupting two consenting adults is not, and neither is causing someone physical, mental, or emotional harm just for being different.
Except it totally is a slur, and you know it. That's why you're so forcefully and aggressively defending your use of the term, before anyone else even had a chance to call you out on it. And so what if it's just a shortening of homosexual? The etymology of a word is totally irrelevant to its use. ****** is just a slight modification of the Latin word for black, it's the history and usage of the word that make it offensive, not which word it was derived from. And frankly, as a straight person your opinion on whether 'homo' is offensive doesn't matter at all. You don't get to decide on behalf of gay people which words are offensive to them and which ones aren't.Reaper195 said:
OP, it seems like you have some soul-searching to do. It's a bit odd that it makes your stomach churn, but I don't honestly know if it's homophobic or not. Chances are, if you think the answer is, "yes" then it's probably, "yes".
I can't say I fully understand homosexuality. I think there are lots of really attractive guys out there, but I'm not sexually attracted to them (except Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling).
On the same note, I can't tell you why I think girls are attractive. I just do.
And because I can't explain why I find a petite brunette extremely attractive, I don't expect any of my gay friends or co-workers to be able to explain why they are attracted to the types of people they are attracted to. They just are.
And that's fine with me.
I can't say I fully understand homosexuality. I think there are lots of really attractive guys out there, but I'm not sexually attracted to them (except Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling).
On the same note, I can't tell you why I think girls are attractive. I just do.
And because I can't explain why I find a petite brunette extremely attractive, I don't expect any of my gay friends or co-workers to be able to explain why they are attracted to the types of people they are attracted to. They just are.
And that's fine with me.
I wasn't speaking in generalities, I'm sorry if you felt I was saying you hold such bias. But yes, disgust is, in general a condemnation in general. It doesn't have to necessarily be a moral condemnation. But it is a condemnation. It's a "this is WRONG" declaration. It's significantly more severe compared to merely not finding something appealing. No, you find it GROSS. You find it REPULSIVE. That's attaching negative connotations to something. It's making a judgment on something.Queen Michael said:
So yes, it does apply to heart surgery, heart surgery isn't considered "right". It's bad, it means someone has a disease. Disease is judged as wrong, as it is, not from a moral sense, but from the sense it's not supposed to be in human, we're not supposed to be sick, our bodies are ill, that's a bad thought. The thought is chilling. It's harmful. It's a negative.
Can that be said about two guys kissing? Homosexuality in general? Homosexuality isn't a solitary act. Gay men do essentially everything straight people have done in bed with slight differences.
Hit the nail on the head, this man.101flyboy said:
Yeah. I've always thought, if you have to defend your position to the people you're saying you're not offending or not biased towards, that probably means you are offending them and are biased towards them. It's like when people say "no offence". That usually means what you're about to say or have just said is incredibly offensive.squeekenator said: