What would you have done in my situation?
- Thread starter No_Remainders
- Start date
Pretty late to jump in this late, but i am a bit worried by the majority of the responses here.
What you are saying is basically this:
"There is this guy i don't like. He suffers from fatal illness. For all I care, he could die, as he was never nice to me."
This has to be the most primitive form of thinking possible.
Nobody demands that you suddenly become friends. And indeed, dying does not make one a better person. That's not the point.
The point is, that you don't laugh at the fact that someone has cancer. Cancer is different from say a broken leg.
The point is this:
You do not have to like someone, in order to help save his life.
You do not have to be a prick towards someone, just because he was one to you.
You can actually support his recovery without pretending to be his friend.
There are situations, where it simply doesn't matter if you like someone or not, and cancer is definitely one of those.
Ask yourself this: if he survives, and continues to be a prick to you, isn't it now just as much your fault, as it is his? You had the rare chance to change at least something. Sure, there's no guaranty he'd change for good, but the chance he'd stop beeing a dick to you was there, yet you just let it pass. You felt this was a good opportunity to show him.
This is exactly the kind of behavior that, in different scopes and circumstances, breeds conflicts, feudes and even wars. You may think i exaggerate, but here's another question:
If there is a conflict, what is more important? Who started it, or who decides to end it? And in what way?
One last question, to put it to the extreme: If this guy was shot right before your eyes, slowly starting to bleed to out, would you call the ambulance for him? Would jou laugh at him, "serves him right"? Would you simply not care, as there could be others to call for help?
What you are saying is basically this:
"There is this guy i don't like. He suffers from fatal illness. For all I care, he could die, as he was never nice to me."
This has to be the most primitive form of thinking possible.
Nobody demands that you suddenly become friends. And indeed, dying does not make one a better person. That's not the point.
The point is, that you don't laugh at the fact that someone has cancer. Cancer is different from say a broken leg.
The point is this:
You do not have to like someone, in order to help save his life.
You do not have to be a prick towards someone, just because he was one to you.
You can actually support his recovery without pretending to be his friend.
There are situations, where it simply doesn't matter if you like someone or not, and cancer is definitely one of those.
Ask yourself this: if he survives, and continues to be a prick to you, isn't it now just as much your fault, as it is his? You had the rare chance to change at least something. Sure, there's no guaranty he'd change for good, but the chance he'd stop beeing a dick to you was there, yet you just let it pass. You felt this was a good opportunity to show him.
This is exactly the kind of behavior that, in different scopes and circumstances, breeds conflicts, feudes and even wars. You may think i exaggerate, but here's another question:
If there is a conflict, what is more important? Who started it, or who decides to end it? And in what way?
One last question, to put it to the extreme: If this guy was shot right before your eyes, slowly starting to bleed to out, would you call the ambulance for him? Would jou laugh at him, "serves him right"? Would you simply not care, as there could be others to call for help?
Nothing is stopping you donating to charity. You don't have to donate it for him, but for the charity itself.
How do you know that someone you like doesn't get diagnosed with the same illness?
How do you know that someone you like doesn't get diagnosed with the same illness?
There are good people who can be helped, who in being helped can later help the world. And there are people for whom you should not waste your time. I would have done the same. Disrespect me when you are healthy, and I will not help you when you are sick.-Drifter- said:
OP, I would have done the same, not necessarily the right thing to do, but I would certainly not have gone and would not want to.
Look there's a few ways to deal with this.
1:neutrality, say you feel for him having cancer, but you wont go.
2:avoid it: say you have a committment.
3:Be a douche.
You were a douche. Look, I would not have gone, but answering prick with prick is not a good idea and never is. It just makes you a prick. Any status you get because you acted like a prick is deserved.
To all you other folks with the "everyone acts like angels" thing: when people die, they leave people behind that cared for them. No matter how you feel about the dead person, -that- is why you don't organize a rendition of ding dong with witch is dead when some girl who snubbed you kills herself. It's not for her, it's for her family.
So every single one of you playing the "why are you saying nice things about them when they die?" Well in those situations, yeah, you say something nice or not at all, and yeah, if you feel strongly about it then not at all is a great option. Doing otherwise just makes things worse for other people during a bad time, and hell if you wouldn't want the same.
To the OP: dont laugh at cancer, it's not a laughing matter. I know you were laughing at the idea that you would go, but in this case, it's not fine. You stick to your guns with -no- and nothing but.
1:neutrality, say you feel for him having cancer, but you wont go.
2:avoid it: say you have a committment.
3:Be a douche.
You were a douche. Look, I would not have gone, but answering prick with prick is not a good idea and never is. It just makes you a prick. Any status you get because you acted like a prick is deserved.
To all you other folks with the "everyone acts like angels" thing: when people die, they leave people behind that cared for them. No matter how you feel about the dead person, -that- is why you don't organize a rendition of ding dong with witch is dead when some girl who snubbed you kills herself. It's not for her, it's for her family.
So every single one of you playing the "why are you saying nice things about them when they die?" Well in those situations, yeah, you say something nice or not at all, and yeah, if you feel strongly about it then not at all is a great option. Doing otherwise just makes things worse for other people during a bad time, and hell if you wouldn't want the same.
To the OP: dont laugh at cancer, it's not a laughing matter. I know you were laughing at the idea that you would go, but in this case, it's not fine. You stick to your guns with -no- and nothing but.
I want to say the way you said it would be what upset them. It's fine not to go, and if someone asked you, you could tell them why, but remember this, just because you don't like him doesn't mean that everyone doesn't like him.
I would probably had done the same and declined, but done it in a more polite manner to that person, since it wasn't him actually asking. You could say that to his face, but someone else who asks you this should be given a little more politeness, but overall it doesn't matter since it's over with, done, and you get to enjoy that day instead of overpaying for cheap entertainment and a probably way overpriced meal
I would probably had done the same and declined, but done it in a more polite manner to that person, since it wasn't him actually asking. You could say that to his face, but someone else who asks you this should be given a little more politeness, but overall it doesn't matter since it's over with, done, and you get to enjoy that day instead of overpaying for cheap entertainment and a probably way overpriced meal
One of my high school bullies received brain damage in a sporting event. He was in a coma for 6 months. I boycotted all of his charities.
Sure people asked why and I told them that the fucker made me bleed on several occasions. The most extreme and last incident involved him following me home stalking my house and getting a few of his friends to beat the shit out of me when I left my house alone. The questions stopped very quickly.
His accident was less than a week after. Talk about karma
Good for you. Death does not absolve your past.
Sure people asked why and I told them that the fucker made me bleed on several occasions. The most extreme and last incident involved him following me home stalking my house and getting a few of his friends to beat the shit out of me when I left my house alone. The questions stopped very quickly.
His accident was less than a week after. Talk about karma
Good for you. Death does not absolve your past.
I think the better man makes a private donation to a cancer charity, perhaps even in the name of the person who is fighting cancer from your school. While at the same time does not attend the banquet and thus maintains their status as a man, not just a better one, by sticking to their principles. Cancer is a worthy cause, but assholes shouldn't have their medical bills paid out of sympathy from the people who he was an asshole too. Cancer does not make HIM a worthy cause.-Drifter- said:
if the kid was truely a prick to you and made your life miserable then no, you are under no obligation to attend and had every right to have politely declined.
However, your response of "HA HA, not a chance" pretty much makes you are as big a prick as he is. you obviously do not think you are, but no one believes themselves to be a prick.
you can be happy that a person is no longer able to bother/bully you. Believe me, I can more than sympathize about that. but please don't become what you hate, don't become the person that is glad someone is dying because its making your life easier.
However, your response of "HA HA, not a chance" pretty much makes you are as big a prick as he is. you obviously do not think you are, but no one believes themselves to be a prick.
you can be happy that a person is no longer able to bother/bully you. Believe me, I can more than sympathize about that. but please don't become what you hate, don't become the person that is glad someone is dying because its making your life easier.
No, no, no... The funeral of someone is for the friends and family of the departed. Even if you go there with the best of intentions, it's still dickish because you can't and never will morn the lost of someone you hate. I don't know why you were there, maybe to kill some time but The only circumstance where I would find it acceptable is if you were asked to be there to support someone. I may be a douche because I would flip the bird if I was in the OP's positions but at least I know there some things that are sacred.Kroxile said:
Also... "Seriously, rage more guy". English isn't my native language, but it was taught in school since the third grade (7 years old). I graduated top of Every English class, play D&D and am part of the Escapist D&D group (meaning, Play in English), buy my books base on the original language of the author (I fear that the book lost some charm and humor when translated. Hence, half of my bookshelf is in English), watch TV and shows in English for the same reason (tho the dubber for Keanu Reeve does a fantastic job giving his character emotions). All this and I can't figure out what your saying there. You want me to enrage more guys? You want me to Rage about more guys? WTF!?!?!
It's for treatment aftercare, which I was kinda confused about as his family is like one of the richest in my school (His dad is an eye surgeon, his mom is a neuroscientist and his brother is basically destined to make a few hundred grand quite soon from a ridiculously good idea for an app on the iPod).BiscuitTrouser said:
Shrug. It's pointless giving them the money that they already have for aftercare.
I'd like to point out that first, you probably wouldn't havejoebear15 said:
Second, two different situations. That I would've given money to, if you view the rest of this post, you'll see how ridiculous giving money to his family is.
I forgot to specify. It's money for an aftertreament that his family can already afford several times over. Look at top of this post for more info about that.katsumoto03 said:
... Begging "god" isn't something I ever have done nor ever will do.t3h br0th3r said:
I find it easier without having to think "Oh, what will the big guy think?" every time I do something.
Well, you should have been less rude about it, sure the guy was an utter dick to you but he's not the one going around asking for the money. Again it's fair enough to hate him, but be nice to the people who want to help.
However I can understand where you're coming from, after all you've stated his family is wealthy and probably don't need the money. Therefore they do not need charity and unless you want to give the money, you shouldn't have too.
EDIT: Could the OP please state if the charity is JUST aimed at the person and their family, or if it's towards those who suffer cancer in general, because that REALLY changes things.
However I can understand where you're coming from, after all you've stated his family is wealthy and probably don't need the money. Therefore they do not need charity and unless you want to give the money, you shouldn't have too.
EDIT: Could the OP please state if the charity is JUST aimed at the person and their family, or if it's towards those who suffer cancer in general, because that REALLY changes things.
I definently would have said no, but you don't laugh at them (or specifically the people trying to help him). Just say no. I'm not saying don't stand your ground; if he's a dick he's a dick. But when you laugh at the people trying to help the dying guy, you become a dick as well.