What's YOUR zombie escape plan?

JWAN

New member
Dec 27, 2008
2,725
0
0
go over to home depot,
jack their 1, 1/4 ton truck,
load it with 3/4 inch 4*8 sheets of plywood, nails,
4-5 generators,
solar lighting sidewalk kits,
4*4 and 6*6 10 ft poles
30 80lb sacks of concrete
expansion foam
4.5 inch self tapping deck screws
bolts
hinges
aluminum window screen
2 medium green houses
10 sets of 2, 45 watt solar panels
4-5 of those those yard pinwheels (metal) so you can hook up a small generator and an inverter for extra power. Plan on 2 a person to ensure a decent amount of power, and keep 5 of those in stock in case one gets ruined
hook up 4 bicycle powered generators to help with an exercise regimen
get a bunked and start doing light assisted pull ups, push ups, jumping jacks, sit ups and lunges as well as steam engines any thing to aliveate boredom and get stronger.

get a pellet gun and take 25 practice rounds a day, I have over 5000 pellets so Im not worried about running out

drop all of that off at home and have my friends start nailing stuff together and covering the wooden wall structures with the screen to hold it together
cut open the drywall and fill the walls with foam
get 95% alcohol and fill up beer bottles 1/3 the way and clean the guns

go over to the hardware store and pick up bullets for my 30.06's (M1 Garrands, 7 of them)and fill up 4 55 gallon drums with shotgun shells, 30.06 rounds, 30.30 rounds, .22 rounds and 50 5 pound sacks of gunpowder, several thousand yards of fishing line, hooks, heavy duty rope and motion sensor cameras

also pick up a few .22 handguns and pellet handguns for practice. grab as much ammo as possible of any kind of gun (after you get what you NEED, you never know what you might pick up later you know!)

drop all of that off at home and help re-enforce the windows, pour foam and bring up plywood into roof crawl space and make a platform out of 4 4*8's/seal in the insulation and continue readying the water condensers

get stores of beans and canned corn lined up and start pouring the concrete fence posts outside and putting in the posts that should already have boards nailed between them (they will be reinforced at a later date)

start getting petroleum jelly ready to lob some newspaper fire nades at the the horde and add gunpowder for an snap

I already have collected (gifts every year I get 2 250 rd boxes) several thousand .22 LR rounds and i have enough shotgun rounds I could open an 18 inch gap and force the zombies into a choke zone and blast them one by one (with a shotgun I would wait till they fill the box and use good old buckshot and take out 3-6 )

other than that keep the fire nades ready if we need to scram and start using the .22 to thin the herd, fire 50 rounds a day and make every one a one shot kill.

if you get surrounded by a bunch just keep plinking away at only the targets you are sure to get and one day you will be able to leave for more bullets and reinforcing gear supplies and gradually expand your defenses outward and use everything you can from plastic siding to tarps to help make your wall tougher to break down. you can always grow food and you can always dig a deep trench and when it gets full of zombies (7 ft trench 5 feet wide) throw out some petroleum jelly and burn them off.

oh yea, get health supplies from the Walgreens and get respirators for when you have to burn out the ditch

after you get those solar lights that are built to light for 8 hours hook 3 of those panels to a small transistor radio and you will be able to power it once your batteries die, also lengthen the wire from the panel to the light and use them to light the inside of your home.

make sure you have plenty of books (minimum of 175 a person) so you can read and learn/ keep entertained.

use one of the oil drums as a bathroom (cut it in half) and use the others as large fire bombs that you could set off to make a large hole in the horde (old Vietnam trick they used to fill them with 4 pounds of petroleum jelly, 35 gallons of jet-fuel and set them off with 60 pounds of C4, it would throw Napalm downhill and make a burning crater)

after 100 days of siege if you have been picking off your 50 a day you are probably safe to make another supply run. You should have taken out 5000, a person 5000*5-6 = 25,000-30,000 ZKIA (Zombie Killed In Action) Even in my town of Madison Wisconsin we have 200,000 + people so that puts in a dent. and it makes a good bonfire when you chuck them in the street and light them up
 

puppydogvaan

New member
Mar 26, 2009
238
0
0
I'd just die, most likely. I live on the edge of a lake in the middle of a swamp...I say all the time--"There are dead people in that lake. You know there must be." They just look at me. They don't understand the danger.


But honestly--house on a lake? Death. Instant death.
 

Imrix

New member
Nov 21, 2007
32
0
0
I live in a port city and my father is a sailor,, so my plan would be to grab the celtic broadsword from my room, get a rucksack and some food, and make a beeline to the port. Getting out to sea doesn't remove the danger of starvation or thirst, but zombies can't swim, so it gives you time to get your bearings and plan your next move.

From there, I'd head for the nearest castle with complete walls and hole up in there. Plenty of room for supplies, and I'd like to see zombies besiege a castle. It'd be hilarious.
 

Jinjiro

Fresh Prince of Darkness
Apr 20, 2008
244
0
0
Step 1 - Acquire tank. Don't ask me how.

Step 2 - Drive tank through orphanage.

Step 3 - Repeat Step 2 until children join you on the tank. (Note: We're using orphans here, because children with parents are much more likely to use their cuteness on you to insist that 'Mummy' come along, despite 'Mummy' having a very suspicious looking gash on her arm.)

Step 4 - Use tank to acquire large, armoured van.

Step 5 - Find sassy female accomplice to drive said van.

Step 6 - Drive tank to wholesale warehouse.

Step 7 - Drive tank through wholesale warehouse.

Step 8 - Take long-life, preservable foodstuffs and bottled water from wholesale warehouse,. and place in the van. Make the children assist. Use those that don't as zombie bait later.

Step 9 - Drive tank AWAY from zombie horde. Using the 'Plough' technique is not recommended, as sooner or later, something is bound to go wrong. If you must drive through zombies, use the aforementioned zombie bait now. Save a few for later. Maybe the fast runners.

Step 10 - Once away from civilization, commence radio contact with surviving humanity. At all costs, avoid the following groups of people, based on statistical survival rates from zombie movies.

Groups to avoid:

Stoners, adulterers, rich assholes, obese people, arrogant militant types, religious figures, jocks, the elderly, and cheerleaders.

Assuming contact with surviving humanity has been with competent, rational human beings that do not fall under the aforementioned groups, have 'mysterious' injuries, or plans to actually FIGHT the zombie horde, proceed to step 11.

Step 11a - Make a run for a secure location, probably a military base, with nuclear bunker facility.

Step 11b - Seduce sassy female accomplice.

Step 12 - Arrive at location. Use any remaining ammunition/orphan zombie bait to enter the location securely and without incident.

Step 13 - Secure location. Hang a 'Do Not Disturb' sign outside the door for comedic effect.

Step 14 - Wait out the zombie infestation period. Give it double the time you think it needs. Maybe more. The scientist you have with you will probably be wrong about the infestation, leading to an entirely unnecessary sequel. Maybe even a trilogy.

Step 15 - Assist sassy female accomplice with re-populating Earth.

Step 16 - Re-assemble society in your own image, as the hero of the day. Congratulations.

Step 17 - Say 'Another job well done.' Because... well, you know.
 

Dark42

New member
Jan 28, 2009
544
0
0
morrie man said:
Dark42 said:
cheesemaster said:
Copypasta'd my answer from a similar (in fact, identical) discussion:

"The local military base is probably my best bet too, and although we're far from the best equipped base we have a good hundred odd rifles and twenty odd machine guns plus a few 66 sets (disposable one-shot RPGs), so all we'd need to do is round up everyone from the local reserve battalion and we'd be more than capable of handling a zombie invasion. Our biggest problems would be food (we have ration packs, but only about two weeks worth without ordering in more), and there's a mall about a kilometre or so away, and ammo, in which case we'll break out the bayonets and cricket bats. If we had a bit more time, we'd get some more explosives and claymores from the support battalion across the river."

(Yeah, I'm a soldier, which puts me in pretty good standing to survive this one.)
I live 4 blocks from an active military base. If this did happen what are my chances I would be shot on sight if I tried to get inside?
I completley agree with you there as a standard militery code that no matter who it is if theres a possibility that you will give your position or indager the whole unit then they are promited to use any force nesserary to stop you if you try and get any were near a militery bace. So you are completly right.
My brother is a Cadet non military but knows most of the people at the base, would this impact their decision, if he was in full uniform dress, or combats?
 

Shinny_Explosions

New member
Mar 19, 2009
50
0
0
STEP 1:Burn the town so there are no living brains to eat then run!
STEP 2:Accuire a wolf army
STEP 3:The babies are going to feed my wolf army because the zombies taste just awful!XP
STEP 4: Pillage all surrounding towns for women, babies, and Firepower. If they fight feed to wolves (women are for association/conversation/pleasure if we decide.)
STEP 5:(Repeat 1,3,4 till accuire all nukes)
STEP 6: Destroy world because Zombies ate all else and a bunch dead chicks/babies wont re-populate world!
 

Syndef

New member
Nov 14, 2008
315
0
0
Well, the OP said the situation was that the undead just burst through your front door while you're at your computer, so I guess I have to take that into consideration. I also like to keep things a little realistic. Well here it goes:

1. Beat down horde with baseball bat (it's all I got) -OR- jump out the patio.
2. Find some way to return home after a while to retrieve important items and supplies.
3. Contact friends that live in the area and meet up.
4. Travel as a group safely out of urban center.

Realistically speaking, you won't be able to get your hands on a gun during this kind of disaster. People would just get there and raid the stores before you. Ironic how I'm talking about realism in a zombie situation.
 

slackbheep

New member
Sep 10, 2008
183
0
0
Luckily It's still well below 0 degrees outside (snowed two days ago, even!) So I'm in good shape, just gotta grab a few blankets/books/food and head into the attic and I'm good to go, Maybe if I'm not worried about time I could haul up the propane heater =p
 

Korolev

No Time Like the Present
Jul 4, 2008
1,853
0
0
First step - shove bookcase against door - it's heavy enough to keep them out.

Second step - wrap light clothing around myself - it might protect against bites while still enabling good movement. Secondly, I have two rather large machetes in my room (they're just for personal defense - one's designed to cut down sugar cane!) which I can use.

Third, break window to get on roof - this will allow me to survey the surrounding area.

Fourth - see if garage is surrounded. If not, try to get to car by unlocking garage. If locked, no choice but to see which side of the house has the least zombies, climb down, and make a bloody run for it, to the nearest supermarket (which isn't actually too far away).

Fifth step - get inside supermarket, if the lights are still on, or if I can see inside. If the store is pitchblack and I have no means of seeing inside, I'll have to keep running. If I can get inside the store, I will, and try my best to kill all zombies within - shouldn't be that hard, since they're the slow, shuffling type.

Six - move one of those cooler things people store ice-cream in, to the entrance. Take off all items on the store shelves and shove the shelves up against doors, windows, etc, then put all the heavy items back on. Grab any knives or sharp objects or blunt objects, keep them close by, eat tinned food, and wait until I run out or the zombies break in, which in that case, run and do it all over again, assuming I don't get eaten.

And if worse comes to worse, and I find myself the last person alive or I can't escape, I will intentionally infect myself and become one of the horde.
 

traceur_

New member
Feb 19, 2009
4,181
0
0
1: I could just steal shit from the nearby air force base while the soldiers get their balls kicked by zombies

2: spend 5 minutes reading a flight manual

3:get in the plane

4:get out of the plane and get the keys

5: get in the plane

6:forget everything I read in the manual, push buttons until the thing goes and get the fuck out of there before i realise I have no fucking idea how to fly a plane.
 

Froobyx

New member
Mar 22, 2009
753
0
0
JWAN said:
go over to home depot,
jack their 1, 1/4 ton truck,
load it with 3/4 inch 4*8 sheets of plywood, nails,
4-5 generators,
solar lighting sidewalk kits,
4*4 and 6*6 10 ft poles
30 80lb sacks of concrete
expansion foam
4.5 inch self tapping deck screws
bolts
hinges
aluminum window screen
2 medium green houses
10 sets of 2, 45 watt solar panels
4-5 of those those yard pinwheels (metal) so you can hook up a small generator and an inverter for extra power. Plan on 2 a person to ensure a decent amount of power, and keep 5 of those in stock in case one gets ruined
Have you done this before?
 

Chibz

New member
Sep 12, 2008
2,158
0
0
I'd rob a few choice stores within walking distance and surround myself with grotesquely overweight people.

Food supply, and can be used to distract zombies. Both in a pinch.
 

axelmaxima

New member
Feb 3, 2009
90
0
0
i'm going to start eating a zombie, and they'll see it doesn't feel good so they will leave me alone and leave the area. or they'll just stop eating people altogether and become better citizens in the community. yes this is a great plan i must keep it all to myself so no one can save the world but me!HA HA HA HA......Damn it i'm still typing!!curses!!!!!!!!
 

Renikor

New member
Mar 23, 2009
132
0
0
Rub lemons on my eyes and use a ton of charcoal pencils to make me look like a zombie, use novelty blood around my mouth and by multiple parts of my body. Then join them and become their leader. Then I put them in a spaceship and send them to Mars.
 

Azraellod

New member
Dec 23, 2008
4,375
0
0
hmm, if they can actually get in here right now i am completely screwed, my only weapon would be a novelty cd holder.

however, pretty much all the windows in my house are double glazed, so i would at least have warning of them trying to enter. then, i can use the confirmation candle in my bedroom to bless some water and sprinkle it on them

hmm, mabye i should bless it in advance in case of this actually happening
 

Zeke109

New member
Jul 10, 2008
658
0
0
well--I'm fucked, but if i was at my Papa's house, i'd have a pretty good arsenal of weapons, but no protection. I would try to get the shotgun from my grandfather's house and hide in the public library. It's the tallest building in the town (other than mine, but mine doesn't have a flat, heliport-like roof) Also, the library is right across from a heavily stocked sporting-goods store and a gas station and grocery store. And a pharmacy.
 

EdwinMDA

New member
Sep 13, 2008
15
0
0
unfortunetly im in my uni computer lab so not much to work with except maybe a pen sooooo "dead"
 

Epic_Rocker

New member
Mar 15, 2009
80
0
0
Hmmm.. I'd probably equip myself with a couple knives, and from the look of it, I wouldn't really have any weapons.. I'd take my BB gun as well I guess. An then a a couple heavier objects to club zombies who are in my way. Next I'd need to get out of my house, and considering I'm on the first floor, it shouldn't be too hard. Once I get outside, I'd have to figure out something. I'll probably break the window of my neighbours car, and take that because my parents have the car at the moment. From there, I'd drive downtown, find the shooting range (we have that here! :D Strange considering it's Canada xD) and get mahself a real gun. >:3 I have no idea what I'd do from there.


Of course, considering their lame shuffling zombies, I could just move somewhere else, and chill out till they come. Once they get there I'd just have to move again. xD