What's YOUR zombie escape plan?

Jupsto

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Feb 8, 2008
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well we were talking about this the other day. we recon clear out and defend a tesco you could live for ages, especially a tesco extra since you would get TV's and other stuff. we'd use t3h internetz to find out how to make uber weapons from household ingrediants found in the supermarket. such as napalm bombs and ubercharging mediguns.

although going to say Warwick castle and defending that place would just be epic, since its a friggin huge castle (haha no decent castles in America!). got high intact walls and gates to keep dead out and other tourist attractions. we'd cultivate farms outside our castle and have a fire beacon (lotr style) on one of the towers to warn of the comming of the undead. also a castle with a moat is awesome, like in sabriel the undead cannot cross running water without the help of a powerful necromancer! but we'd own him with our bows...

we english don't have many guns so we'd have to start honing our archer skills once more. sweeet.
 

Novania

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Feb 5, 2009
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Jinjiro said:
Step 1 - Acquire tank. Don't ask me how.

Step 2 - Drive tank through orphanage.

Step 3 - Repeat Step 2 until children join you on the tank. (Note: We're using orphans here, because children with parents are much more likely to use their cuteness on you to insist that 'Mummy' come along, despite 'Mummy' having a very suspicious looking gash on her arm.)

Step 4 - Use tank to acquire large, armoured van.

Step 5 - Find sassy female accomplice to drive said van.

Step 6 - Drive tank to wholesale warehouse.

Step 7 - Drive tank through wholesale warehouse.

Step 8 - Take long-life, preservable foodstuffs and bottled water from wholesale warehouse,. and place in the van. Make the children assist. Use those that don't as zombie bait later.

Step 9 - Drive tank AWAY from zombie horde. Using the 'Plough' technique is not recommended, as sooner or later, something is bound to go wrong. If you must drive through zombies, use the aforementioned zombie bait now. Save a few for later. Maybe the fast runners.

Step 10 - Once away from civilization, commence radio contact with surviving humanity. At all costs, avoid the following groups of people, based on statistical survival rates from zombie movies.

Groups to avoid:

Stoners, adulterers, rich assholes, obese people, arrogant militant types, religious figures, jocks, the elderly, and cheerleaders.

Assuming contact with surviving humanity has been with competent, rational human beings that do not fall under the aforementioned groups, have 'mysterious' injuries, or plans to actually FIGHT the zombie horde, proceed to step 11.

Step 11a - Make a run for a secure location, probably a military base, with nuclear bunker facility.

Step 11b - Seduce sassy female accomplice.

Step 12 - Arrive at location. Use any remaining ammunition/orphan zombie bait to enter the location securely and without incident.

Step 13 - Secure location. Hang a 'Do Not Disturb' sign outside the door for comedic effect.

Step 14 - Wait out the zombie infestation period. Give it double the time you think it needs. Maybe more. The scientist you have with you will probably be wrong about the infestation, leading to an entirely unnecessary sequel. Maybe even a trilogy.

Step 15 - Assist sassy female accomplice with re-populating Earth.

Step 16 - Re-assemble society in your own image, as the hero of the day. Congratulations.

Step 17 - Say 'Another job well done.' Because... well, you know.
I like it. Step 11b ftw
 

Mischiviktus

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Aug 6, 2008
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Step One- Secure a safe location with a fence (preferably electrified (GET OVER THAT MEXICAN-ZOMBIES!)) with plenty of space in between structures and open ground (so they can't jump from another structure over, and if they did, gun them down).

Step Two- Secure outpost with defenses in case of breech; turrets, concrete walls, steel thick doors, high elevation with no way to climb up. Also, have an underground safe house WITHIN the safe house.

Step Three- Make sure to have vast quantities of food and water for 3+ years, as well as a way to get more if rations run dry (safe and reliable).

Step Four- Make sure to have a higher percentage ratio of women to men in the bunker (also stockpile on protection, gonna be a long time probably till they (as in zombies) die, or hell, booze and cigarettes are usually never enough, cheapest and easiest form of stress relief). Guarantees continuation of humanity (or at least some very happy men till the end of the world). Side Note- All women must be 8.5/10 or better....standards.

Step 5- Have research material to attempt to locate a way to either cure or kill the...whatever causing this.

Step 6- ????

Step 7- Profit or we died.

On a bigger side note, gamers and the military will probably survive out any form of zombie infestation. Military's years of practice and honed to perfection to survive crazy stuff, gamers have seen some seriously ****** up **** throughout the years; popping a cap in a zombies head will be just the same, except no do-overs and ammunition isn't found in trashcans or under fruit piles.
 

HaruHearts

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Mar 20, 2009
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Mischiviktus said:
On a bigger side note, gamers and the military will probably survive out any form of zombie infestation. Military's years of practice and honed to perfection to survive crazy stuff, gamers have seen some seriously ****** up **** throughout the years; popping a cap in a zombies head will be just the same, except no do-overs and ammunition isn't found in trashcans or under fruit piles.
Darn tooting!
 

hannahdonno

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Apr 5, 2009
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I got so obsessed about this at one point I read books about it. Honest to God. BOOKS.

I could write essays, but it basically envolves getting all the food/ammo/drugs/alcohol/weapons etc I possibly could and depending on circumstances, I would take them all upstairs and smash up the staircase because come on, no zombie could get up then. Oh yes, brainpower going on here people.

Or steal a double decker bus and do the same to the staircase in that. Yerr.
 

Shiny Plastic

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Jul 24, 2008
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Lucky for me I have a pawn shop (tons of guns) and a Lowes with a HUGE seperate fenced off gardening area full of soil, seeds, and other gardening supplies. First off I'd grab as much non persishable food I could, take steal my dickhead neighbor's Hummer, Haul ass to the walmart that's a little less than a mile away from me and get even more non-perishable's along with a bunch of camping supplies, batteries, water, and of course a couble of huge plasma screens with a couple of 360's Ps3's, and Wii's along with every game in the cabinet (Gotta have some entertainment, am I right?) along with a shit ton of Tv show dvd's and movies. Next, I would haul said ass once more over to Lowe's get the biggest padlocks they had to lock the doors, along with every inch of barbed wire they would have inside of the store and barricade the fencing off with it with the help of other survivors.
Then, I would grab electric lawn mowers and elctric chainsaws so as to not waste gas and set up defences over the area with them. Then I would concenrate on planting crops to sustain us after the food has run out.

Sorry for the mini wall o' text, Lol :3
 

Badgernyp

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Apr 4, 2009
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alright, i think i would do this
1)call my gf and tell her to lock herself away until i get there.
2)get some of my guns (preferebly my shotguns), and some for my friends (im a gun collector)3)take my parents car (attach the trailer) and pick up a few friends+gf
4)collect food from their houses
5)drive to cabelas in the next town over
6)collect alot of ammo there.
7)drive back to my place with everyone i brought (hopefully still alive), and use ply wood (stored in my garage) and barracade windows+doors, leaving one openable to go out for food.
8)set up for a long wait. make sure i hav monopoloy =)
9)try to get ahold of family members, friends, and local authoritys.
10) go on roof of my house and spraypaint "alive inside"
11) spend alot of my time on the roof and observe the zombies behaviors, and just for the hell of shooting them.
12)go out every so often for supplies
13)drive to local national guard armory and see if anyone is there
14) search the town for survivors, and makes lists of all the deceased and missing (probably alot)
15) just wait for how ever ong it takes for zombies to deteriorate, and occasionaly try my radios to establish contact.
 

RavingPenguin

Engaged to PaintyFace
Jan 20, 2009
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Grab my family and every gun, knife, and ounce of ammunition then pile it all into my Suburban. Then I would go pick up a freind of mine and his family because they're sitting on a small stockpile as well, after picking up my freind I would go and make sure my cousin and his family were heading to the local Sportsmans Warehouse. After confirming that they are indeed headed there, I would follow suit. After arriving I would take all the ammo, food, bullet reloading equippment, clothes, generators, and shelters and move it all to the roof to set up camp. After making camp I would go hunting for a fuel semi and then hed to a gas station to fill it up. I would also take time to reinforce the Suburban and my cousins Ford pickup with armor and such. After all this I would live my life confined on a roof. of a ware house THis is all assuming zombies cant climb, even then its possible to a pallisade type thing.
 

Ashhearth

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May 26, 2009
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I would probably stock my attic with food and supplies make and make a rope ladder so that after i take out my stairs i can remain safe and wait for help since zombies can't jump.
 

EMFCRACKSHOT

Not quite Cthulhu
May 25, 2009
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I have my air rifle, a kukri (the knife used by the ghurkas) a broadsword and a nice oak shield. I am also 1/2 way thrugh mixing up some flash powder for cherry bombs so think that could be useful. I not crazy, i just like weapons. I also have my paintballing body armour. hopefully that will be adequate protection from bitings
 

Anachronism

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Apr 9, 2009
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A zombie plan? Don't be ridiculous.

I have thirty-seven zombie plans! I'm very well prepared. I'm 36 out of the 37 plans, I use elitecrewer as bait so that I can make my initial escape. In the 37th plan, I knowingly infect myself with the zombie virus, and then proceed to devour him alive!
 

Ginnipe

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May 25, 2009
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My zombie plan would to last as long as possible then kill myself. can't infect the dead and removes alot of pain of being bitten. (one shot to the head is better than being zombafied)
 
Jun 10, 2009
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Smyter said:
Him i would run to my man cave break open the glass case containing my obsidian 1h sword then grab my 2 favorite pistols (named ebony and ivory) then i would proceed to the nearest mall for more weapons and supplies and if my freinds are alive i would go get them and we would have a zombie killing compation ...sorry if missspelled any thing tryed to type fast
Who the hell are you, Dante from Devil May Cry?
 

WolfThomas

Man must have a code.
Dec 21, 2007
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I've got my Ka-bar under my bed. More weapons (axe, baseball bat etc) lying around the house, no guns though as I'm in Melbourne studying.

It depends on the stage of the outbreak, if there's a mass panic to flee the city, I'm fortifying the house and waiting a few days, but if there isn't or its isolated to "rioting" in one area like Frankston, (if you lived in Melbourne you'd understand) I'll leave the city by car.

Ultimately the goal is to get back to Wangaratta my home town, gather the guns and family head into the hills, plenty of properties and farms to scavenge from.

Though these are my ideal (but realistic) goals for zombie weapons and my future stronghold.

BrynThomas said:
Currently existing weapons for my myself and companions (working within Australia's gun laws)
Myself
Bolt action mossin nagant, (A scope could be attached) + Rifle Bayonet
Ka-Bar fighting knife
Crowbar

Companion 1
Scoped .22 Rifle with sub sonics (silent, small ammunition, requires headshots)
Sawn-off shotgun
Knife + entrenching tool (folding shovel)

Companion 2
Winchester repeater
Knife + Axe (or at least large hatchet)

Companion 3
Same as 1, but machete instead of entrenching tool.

The .22 can dispatch Zombies silently and efficiently, shotguns for dropping groups and larger rifles for all round effectiveness. Nearly all the melee weapons double as tools.

With the .22s the ammunition is very common and light. They are less noisy or even nearly silent with sub-sonic rounds. The bullets lack the power to enter a skull and exit the other side, rather they ricochet around the skull, meaning hopefully a signal shot kill to the head.

Down side is no stopping power what so ever, if they hit a zombie anywhere else it won't even be slowed.

Handguns if possible, unfortunately limited to pre-1900 pieces, sporting guns or salvaged police/security weapons in Australia. Also I'd love an impact baton (illegal in my state) as well.

Armour/Clothing
Leather/Moleskin pants
Tough oilskin vest (with pouches for ammunition)
Sturdy boots
Tight fitting cycling/swimming shirts (less likely to tear, harder to grab)
Knee pads, elbow pads, gloves and forearm armour (like those worn by skaters or even better bikers)
For urban/house clearance, helmet with with plastic visor (like used with gardening, kinda like the thing Dexter's wears) more for infected blood splatter
For rural/regional areas, sunglasses, broadbrim hat and shemagh (arab head scarf) wrapped around neck.

BrynThomas said:
Prior to "Z-day" I'll be living in a Mexican style hacienda, four rectangular walls high windows with wooden shutters that are reinforced by steel and a courtyard with thick wooden gate to outside world. Greenhouse on the second floor, solar panels and a wind power water from air generator (basically wind spins turbine, powers refrig panels and creates water from condersation). Large underground water tanks for rainwater and aforementioned generated water.

This is on the outside of a large town (40,000 residents) perhaps a twenty minute drive.

Some sort of hybrid car that uses electric (perhaps rechargeable hydrogen cells) and regular fuel. Along with bicycles etc.

Guns, ammo, food and medical supplies stockpiled. Protective clothing like motor-bike gear, skate pads and helmets with clear visors for underneath regular clothing. Melee weapons like crowbars, machetes and hatchets that serve several purposes.

"Z day" occurs, gather family, wife + kids if I have them, plus siblings and parents if nearby. Call previously warned/selected friends. If they can get themselves plus family to my house or nearby they've got a spot in the house.

These friends include a vet and two former (at that point in time) soldiers, one of whom is an excellent mechanic and the other has a portable bullet press and knows how to remake bullets. I will hopefully be a trained doctor by that time (currently studying 2nd year).

Hide for a couple weeks, start raiding nearby properties (being vary careful), salvaging stuff and gathering livestock (we'd already have some chickens, a cow or two). Rescue survivors if safe to do so. Only allow appropriately inspected survivors in and only if they can carry their own weight.

If the zombies are there for the long haul, plant crops in the soil during the day, under the watchful eye of armed sentries. Hunt Kangaroos. Fence off livestock if there's too many to keep in the courtyard. Protecting them would be important but not life risk worthy. Reinforce already high windows and sturdy gate. Razor wire furthermost fences and gates around the farm.

Slaughter and burn any zombies that approach, at night time so the smoke can't be seen. Practice noise awareness/control, maintain radio silence at the house, if we need to communicated with other survivors (not often or likely), we'll take the set a dozen or kilometres away to one of several safe open spots and send our transmission. This is so our location can't be triangulated by tech savvy raiders and potentially remnants of the armed forces gone bad.

If the town greatly depopulates of zombies, say if they hypothetically move to a larger urban centre, raid the town itself. Raid grain silos and forage in overgrown vegetable fields, depending on the time of the year, there may be a lot of crops growing out of control.

Eventually start taking the fight to them, setting up traps and murderous shooting galleries on buildings on the outskirts (where we can recover all our casings).

Once zombie numbers have drastically decreased or they die out completely rebuild society ever vigilantly. Planned breeding to reduce consanguinity (aka incest/inbreeding). Teach the kids.

If survivors want to gather around my fort, they're welcome as long as the agree to the feudal semi-communistic nature of the place, with me as their Hetman.
 

riskroWe

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May 12, 2009
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Screw fleeing to the countryside, in the city there's more resources, more hiding places, more survivors to band together, more potential weapons. Although granted there are more zombies and day-to-day living will be a lot more difficult, after a few weeks we'd adjust to the lifestyle. And as the incompetant survivors are killed off, natural selection will start to take effect leaving only the most talented and resourceful.

And if necessary, a city dwelling vigilante squad could serve to evacuate refugees and survivors out of the city so they can go flee to their precious countryside.
 

lack of self CTRL

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Jun 6, 2009
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I've got a pair of big metal dumbells under my bed, I'd weight one end like a mace & go Clerical on they skulls.

'TURN UNDEAD!!!'

Then I'd battle my way to the entomology department of my local museum & release the flesh eating ants. With enough Raid i should be able to wait the shufflers out.
assuming the whole 'animals infected by eating zombies' also applies to insects.
 

fuzzy1988

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Jun 2, 2009
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hey everyone! don't worry we don't have anything to worry about not aslong as jack bauer and chuck norris are still around ;)