Woman Falls Off Wii Balance Board, Turns Into Nymphomaniac

[Lucas Auraelius]

Is it okay to laugh at this, because I literally fell off my chair laughing at the headline.

 

[ward.]

Err....

[HEADING=2]MAN TRIPS ON XBOX CABLES, BECOMES MASOCHIST.[/HEADING]

Look, I can do it too!

He must have been one already to have bought an Xbox! (I have one, check my profile before hating me).

Got to it before I did.

 

[wordsmith]

Oh [deity]... I think I am glad not to have a Wii in my home...
Although... my sister may not be safe! I must go to her house and save her!
Really, I can't imagine what it must be like... and I suppose I am glad.
And staying the hell away from Wii Balance Boards.

Dude, it's too late, your sister's already a ny-

[sub] Wait, what? What do you mean "don't go there?" Dude, I'm trying to make a joke here >.>[/sub]

Where was I?

 

[dallan262]

"Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder" im guessing all guys already have that disorder and thats why we are not in danger from it?

 

[MrPop]

I can imagine that would be really irritating and embarrassing.

Still pretty humourous though I suppose. Signed the petition >.>

 

[Neonbob]

Anyone notice how happy the guy in the background of the picture looks? Its like he's waiting for something.

...holy shit, man. HE PLANNED IT ALL ALONG!

Honestly, this is the first time the thought of getting one of those things has entered my head.
I'd just have to figure out a way to give it to my girl without her feeling the need to break it over my head for seemingly suggesting that she needs to lose weight.

Thats a tough one. Say you got it for yourself. She will love it and then take it over. Its my wife's favorite game for the wii. I can't wait to tell her this story.

Hmm...the other guy said the same basic thing.
You saying this makes me believe it a bit more, though.
IT'S A PLAN!
I'll let you know how it goes!

 

[Prof.Wood]

Err....

[HEADING=2]MAN TRIPS ON XBOX CABLES, BECOMES MASOCHIST.[/HEADING]

Look, I can do it too!

Yeah I to think this is just an easy 'out' for a slag.
I'm not saying it isn't a real illness just that she hasn't got it.

 

[JoJo Bizzaro 7]

Hmmm... Finally, a reason to buy the Balance Board...
Ummm, I mean, uhh-That's a shame. I feel sorry for the girl. Yeah.

 

[Logic 0]

Nintendo: makeing men happy since 2008.

Dude, pitch that to Nintendo.

On a related note, what has Nintendo been doing since 2008 to make men happy?

2008 is when the wii balance board was made and we know what the balance board can do to women.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

It sounds like if she was standing on a yoga pad, a book, or might of just been standing up and did yoga, if she fell, this would happen. I am sorry for her... but the idea of getting a guy to... "sastify" her is the dumbest plan I heard since the last time I played a Resident Evil game.

 

[khaimera]

Anyone notice how happy the guy in the background of the picture looks? Its like he's waiting for something.

...holy shit, man. HE PLANNED IT ALL ALONG!

Honestly, this is the first time the thought of getting one of those things has entered my head.
I'd just have to figure out a way to give it to my girl without her feeling the need to break it over my head for seemingly suggesting that she needs to lose weight.

Thats a tough one. Say you got it for yourself. She will love it and then take it over. Its my wife's favorite game for the wii. I can't wait to tell her this story.

Hmm...the other guy said the same basic thing.
You saying this makes me believe it a bit more, though.
IT'S A PLAN!
I'll let you know how it goes!

Sounds good. I guess the sucess of this plan depends on how believable it would be for you to buy wii fit and say its for you. That depends on what type of games you normally play.

Or my other idea is to wait for a context to bring up wii fit. Wait for your girl to say something about weight, or how she looks, or how she wishes she was stronger or in better shape. Then say that you have heard from lots of people that wii fit is the most fun way to exercise. Dont use the phrase lose weight, but just say exercise. Coming from an exercise hater like me, its the truth.

 

[The Thief]

This is how superheroes are made. Mild mannered woman slips on an experimental balance board to become... Nymphtendo girl! Using her powers of Persistent Genital Arousal to restore the balance between good and evil!

I guess her arch nemesis could be AbstiNatal.

 

[the idiot computer]

I'm not worried, it might be an improvement.

 

[Jamash]

I'd take anything in The Daily Star with a generous pinch of salt.

Exactly.

I love how on the Daily Star's site, below the story there's a button which says:

MORE 'NEWS' HERE

By putting the word news in inverted commas, it's like they're not even sure of the validity of the tripe they publish, or that they know they're bullshitting but get around it by using quotation marks ("We're not saying it's news").

Beware of repeating stories from sources who treat the word news like it's a buzzword.

 

[Aeshi]

How long until this gets turned into more "gameconsoles are evil" garbage?

 

[MetallicaRulez0]

I laughed at "Persistant Genital Arousal Disorder". Welcome to what it's like being a man. My penis has a mind of it's own, it doesn't ask for my input (well... maybe once in a while [masturbation joke!]).

 

[JWAN]

Wii balance board

a force for good

 

[captainwolfos]

Damnit, I traded in my Wii and Balance board for a PS3. I could've given them to one of my mates someone!

In all seriousness, as real as this hypersexuality is, it's gotta be 'one of those things' which happens in a bazillion to one chance. It's a similar thing to blaming video games for violence.
Either that or a complete hoax. This is the Daily Star, after all.

Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistent_genital_arousal_disorder] in which women experience "spontaneous and persistent genital arousal" that's unrelated to any actual sexual desire.

Pft. I'm 17. I've had that for the last 4 years.

Also, this.
Maybe there is some truth in it after all!

 

[Neonbob]

Sounds good. I guess the sucess of this plan depends on how believable it would be for you to buy wii fit and say its for you. That depends on what type of games you normally play.

Or my other idea is to wait for a context to bring up wii fit. Wait for your girl to say something about weight, or how she looks, or how she wishes she was stronger or in better shape. Then say that you have heard from lots of people that wii fit is the most fun way to exercise. Dont use the phrase lose weight, but just say exercise. Coming from an exercise hater like me, its the truth.

Hmmm...that is a problem. I've expressed disdain for the system before...several times.
She's a bit too sharp to go for it now.
BALLS.

That could work, but I think I'd have to work my way up to mentioning the Wii...maybe feign interest in some of its other games as well.
This is getting fucking intricate.

 

[tehroc]

Umm isn't that some trash tabloid over there? Yeah this is pretty much a non-story.