Woman Falls Off Wii Balance Board, Turns Into Nymphomaniac
Sit up straight and listen closely, kids, while I tell you the tale of the woman who fell off her Wii Balance Board [http://www.nintendo.com/wii/what/accessories/balanceboard] and turned into a raging sex addict as a result.
One fine day, Amanda Flowers, a 24-year-old catering worker from the U.K., was enjoying some healthy activity on her Wii Balance Board. But then she slipped, fell and turned into a nymphomaniac. "Wait," I imagine you're saying right about now. "What?" Well, according to an unnamed doctor, the young Ms. Flowers - who, by the way, is single - suffered some sort of bizarre nerve damage and now just the slightest vibration, "from mobile phones to food processors," has her rarin' to go.
"It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm," she said. "With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me."
There is, in fact, a recognized syndrome called Boing Boing [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistent_genital_arousal_disorder] explains, it's not a lot of fun and being banged into satiation by a "superstud" isn't really the answer.
Nonetheless, the danger presented to women by the Wii Balance Board is clear, so for heaven's sake, ladies,
be careful. And spread the word: I've already started the internet petition [http://www.petitiononline.com/sexboard/petition.html] but until we can force Nintendo to act by putting warning labels on these things, everyone - which is to say, everyone with a vagina - is at risk.
Source: The Daily Star [http://www.dailystar.co.uk/posts/view/130756/Nintendo-Wii-made-me-nympho-/]
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