Your Best Conversation Killer?

[The Night Shade]

Couldn't resist

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[KiruTheMant]

Just randomly interject with "I have no Grape Soda." whenever.

 

[Elijah Ball]

"...and thats how you got herpes?"

 

[Ladette]

Do you have a sister? Cause I swear I fucked someone who looked just like you last week.

 

[Marble Dragon]

"You're sitting in it now."

"Contagious? Contagious, I said! Real contagious, he said."

"So as of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

"So then I realized that the doctor was a ventriloquist and it was his dummy that was giving me the exam.

Gary Larson is an amazing person. You, good sir, win.

For girls: Can't go wrong with gory period descriptions.
For guys: Describe your penis in painful detail? I don't know. I've had less experience in that area.
And if you really hate whoever you're talking to, just switch those around.

Because I sew a lot: "Can you help me pick out a fabric for the furry suit I'm sewing?"

 

[TheTurtleMan]

I don't need to say anything. I just whip out my dick and it does the conversation killing for me. If they still won't stop talking or leave, I then proceed to pee on their shoes.

 

[Nexoram]

Your friends pours his heart out to you, writing more than just a paragraph on what is KILLING him right now and you reply with 'lol'.

 

[Nexoram]

DOUBLE POST SORRY!

 

[Hollock]

feel free to slip in a 'shut the fuck up' as you see fit.

 

[Castratikron]

How about "FUCK THE KNICKS"?

 

[Reaper195]

*Starts rumaging through pockets* "I'm sure I brought my Fleshlight with me..."

It's worse when you use this and someone pulls out their own.....

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

Obligatory response
My personal favorite is to simply drop my pants.

EDIT: link fixed

Damn ninjas, stealing my posts...

The above also works good to kill conversations

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

*Points to ring I'm wearing*
And long story short, this is the stone I passed!

"...And then I said 'Get off me Grandma, I'm done!'"

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

'Do you like Twilight?' and they answer 'Ýes'

 

[Tilted_Logic]

*Points to ring I'm wearing*
And long story short, this is the stone I passed!

Haha Whose line is it anyway?

 

[artanis_neravar]

Turn and look in a random direction and start saying things about the people you are with like you are talking to a camera

 

[Shockolate]

Oh man.

I'm notorious among my friends for doing this!

But I can't remember any!

They're usually spur of the moment things......

Saying "Portal Sucks" tends to do it though.

 

[Radeonx]

*Points to ring I'm wearing*
And long story short, this is the stone I passed!

"...And then I said 'Get off me Grandma, I'm done!'"

"...And then I was looking through the window, and there's Robin and his Grandma!"