Your Best Conversation Killer?

[TheTurtleMan]

I don't need to say anything. I just whip out my dick and it does the conversation killing for me. If they still won't stop talking or leave, I then proceed to pee on their shoes.

 

[Nexoram]

Your friends pours his heart out to you, writing more than just a paragraph on what is KILLING him right now and you reply with 'lol'.

 

[Nexoram]

DOUBLE POST SORRY!

 

[Hollock]

feel free to slip in a 'shut the fuck up' as you see fit.

 

[Castratikron]

How about "FUCK THE KNICKS"?

 

[Reaper195]

*Starts rumaging through pockets* "I'm sure I brought my Fleshlight with me..."

It's worse when you use this and someone pulls out their own.....

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

Obligatory response
My personal favorite is to simply drop my pants.

EDIT: link fixed

Damn ninjas, stealing my posts...

The above also works good to kill conversations

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

*Points to ring I'm wearing*
And long story short, this is the stone I passed!

"...And then I said 'Get off me Grandma, I'm done!'"

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

'Do you like Twilight?' and they answer 'Ýes'

 

[Tilted_Logic]

*Points to ring I'm wearing*
And long story short, this is the stone I passed!

Haha Whose line is it anyway?

 

[artanis_neravar]

Turn and look in a random direction and start saying things about the people you are with like you are talking to a camera

 

[Shockolate]

Oh man.

I'm notorious among my friends for doing this!

But I can't remember any!

They're usually spur of the moment things......

Saying "Portal Sucks" tends to do it though.

 

[Radeonx]

*Points to ring I'm wearing*
And long story short, this is the stone I passed!

"...And then I said 'Get off me Grandma, I'm done!'"

"...And then I was looking through the window, and there's Robin and his Grandma!"

 

[artanis_neravar]

Get down on one knee, pull out a ring and look one of them in the eye and say "will you marry me?"

 

[artanis_neravar]

/move hand close to their face
"Cheap toilet paper."

Samething but holding a rag
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

 

[charlest92]

Randomly say "O shit I just remembered something"
You will be asked what it was.
You can reply with anything the one I found to get rid of someone the fastest is "I need to change because I've been wearing this for 3 weeks"

 

[Dorian6]

1. So what do you think about them faggots getting married?

2. You know God loves you right?

3. Don't you think that open relationships are simply band-aids to temporarily cover up deeper underlying issues in the very foundation of a commitment?

4. Bin Laden isn't really dead you know.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

*Points to ring I'm wearing*
And long story short, this is the stone I passed!

"...And then I said 'Get off me Grandma, I'm done!'"

"...And then I was looking through the window, and there's Robin and his Grandma!"

"Wait! THE CAT!!!...NO, that's no good!"


Not a conversation killer necessarily, but still relevant.

 

[Fluffyz0r]

Feline aids
Politics
Theology (well anti theology)
dead grandparents

 

[drisky]

The best way is to use no sentences.